₦airaland Forum

By my experience, the person may have collected some loans. CU will never allow their money to go. So the loans may have been deducted from the total gratuity

Kobojunkie:
1. Yet every single day, those same men do, over and over, the exact same things you claim their ego would keep them from. Why?

By the way, egos are not unique to men since all human beings are born with egos. So, claiming that when ruled by an ego, a man automagically should do the right things when in reality most men who are ruled by their egos notoriously do the very opposite leads me to conclude that you are either in denial or high on something detrimental.

2. You are literally advising her to become his mother? Why should a wife take on the role that belongs to her husband's mother? What does she gain by such a draining and foolish endeavor?

3. There are 100s of thousands of our mothers, grandmothers, even daughters stuck to this day, some for years, others for decades, praying for their husbands to change so they can finally exhale in marriage; the vast majority will die never to see that happen for them in marriage. Yet, here you are already recruiting yet another daughter of somebody into the same hell. Why? Isn't this literally what wickedness is all about?

4. Oh Wow! Even though she is literally married to Mr. Spiritual himself, she still needs to devote her own life to praying for him to wake up, and that might be the way to change him? Kai! It almost seems you people worship a truly evil entity that hates women. 😩😩😩😩

I see you are bitter. Your response is coming from bitterness and never reality. You are probably not married or divorced or in a terrible relationship where you can't accept how marriage was fashioned. Marriage has a playbook. God made it. If you want it to work, you must follow his manual. I am not exempting the man from his faults, but I haven't heard him, and he's not the one complaining.

Your idea is to burn down the marriage and tell him good riddance right. But thank God no one will follow your evil advice. You can advice your daughter that way and let her crash and burn her marriage like yours. I never heard that the man cheats on his wife or is violent towards her. That would have been a strong ground for your suggestions. The grass isn't always greener on the other side, and things can get better with understanding and prayer.

Kobojunkie:
Acceptance is a two-way street in relationships. If A accepts B but B does not accept A— acceptance is exhibited through action in this case —, then it all means nothing. Two people may be married, but if they do not accept each other, they are no better or different from roommates/strangers forcing themselves to live together/tolerating each other.

OP has made clear that her husband does not accept her; according to her, he has attempted to change so much of who she is and has ignored her many advances to this point. Pointing out that OP does not accept all of this — is pushing back against that which has literally been cutting her down— does not give you the right or unction to place the blame for the rejection that is her marriage wholly.

Also, he married her, too. So, while OP has admitted to being foolish in her choice, ponder instead what the man's reasons for choosing her were.

2. There is no law against accepting someone and then changing your mind after realizing the person is not who you originally thought him/her to be. Also, one is able to commit and uncommit the moment one finds that there is nothing to benefit from the commitment.

3. The important things that OP has continuously complained about through the thread are literally the bare minimum which are required to mark the difference between a relationship between two strangers/roommates and two lovers. Why do you seem dead set on making it seem like OP is asking for too much?

She's the one complaining here. You've not heard from the husband. You may hear something entirely different. But from all she has said, she wants to change her husband into something or someone. You can clearly see that, at least from your points made. When you go into marriage to change someone, you will get a disaster. Change can come, but you must first accept what is and then with wisdom work to what can be.

breadtoaster:
hmmmmmm..........deeeeeeeeep! I agree acceptance. and you have pointed one thing that would end my issues honestly. and i think i did accept him back because i felt he would be faithful, he is a Christian and no much pressures back in nigeria

I would hold this because it is worddddd and you are so damn true. I know the truth when you tell me and I dont deny it

But over here, its like, if i just accept him, would it pay our debts? feed us? make me feel like a woman that needs love? protect me when some evil devils who pretend they know how to love start lurking around in the near future and I am sex starved for weeks?

Would this acceptance pay for all this?

which way forward

I'm glad you want to wholeheartedly accept him. I do understand your fears. Men have an ego and that ego will not allow him to relinquish his ability to take care of his family. He would always want to see his own taken care of. It's obvious you want more. Don't pressure him. Rather encourage him. When he makes small gains, encourage him. Tell him you always see him at the top and that you always pray he'll realize it and start following that path. Nothing kills the spirit of a man than the criticism of his wife. It looks as if he's not enough. Make him understand that he is actually enough, but he's just getting started. He hasn't left gear one. Imagine if he enters gear two and three. Then pray. There are many things I do eventually that my wife tells me with joy that she always hoped I would do but she had to pray to God to make me understand.

Then take your spiritual life serious. If he doesn't join in prayers yet, you begin the prayers. Wake him up and if he won't join, don't complain. Pray for him. You will see a great turnaround I promise you. God is faithful. I sincerely wish you the best.

The trauma the woman will go through is more than enough. How do you explain to your kids that you killed their father? They will grow up, and the Internet will be here to remind them. That conversation will be difficult. Same as the conversation Abraham had to have with Issac after he almost sacrificed him, except that one was an instruction from God. This one, God was not involved at all.

Marriage is always the sum of its parts. You have really complained about your husband. It's clear you resent him. You are not just worried or have these complaints about him. You resent him. I also feel there's someone or something you are comparing him to or wishing he would become, most probably a male figure. He has no chance with you and the most important thing about marriage for any man is acceptance. He doesn't have that with you, so I ask you, why did you marry him? If you wouldn't accept him, why commit to him? Yes he has all these great flaws you mentioned but he doesn't have the most important thing he needs from you. If you keep wishing he was someone else in your heart, what chance does he have?

I was beginning to like him. Hope it won't affect the resurgence our economy is having

Rather the Ferrari buys itself for Zlatan... Zlatan doesn't buy cars, cars buy themselves for Zlatan

I was waiting for this... He's doing it to stay relevant and start his presidential ambition

I criticized this government when it first began but I agree with the emir here. Cut down on government spending and increase transparency and accountability. That way we can reduce borrowing. They have done quite well given the circumstances but cut down on spending. I voted LP during the last election. If I actually see government begin to make moves to cut down spending, Bulaba has my votes. But he must sack Umahi. That man is a disgrace as he can't give account of the coastal highway. This isn't bigotry. The man disgraced himself on Arise TV yesterday

How can a union that claims it's fighting for the rights of workers bring untold hardship on the general public, including the workers they claim to be fighting for? You know how important the supply of Dangote is to the nation, yet you chose to blackmail him and the nation just to have your way? So because of 800 workers, 150 million Nigerians Should suffer? I'm sure Festus Osifo won't feel the pains of this cooking gas saga since he earns big as both and oil worker, pengassan chairman and TUC chairman.

Lord Jesus have Mercy... Them plenty like this?

Find out where she lives and go and see her. You really messed up. She still even sends your younger brother money. It shows she has a good heart. She actually doesn't need your money. But you should show respect.

Great work, but it would have helped if his picture was put up so we know him wherever we see him.

I listened to Kenny G yesterday... Before I switched to worship songs in preparation for today's service.

We won't qualify for the world cup not because of V09 but because of Finidi. He ruined our chances with his ineptitude and pride.

ebexofficial:
The earnings are the other things added.
“Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and its righteousness other things shall be added to you”

God no be man

I love this response 😊😊😁😁😂. So because he's doing YouTube, he should not earn from it if it's possible?

Erfolg:
We need to start selecting home based players for competition. They are used to the terrain, all this foreign players are just not giving 100%. All these countries qualifying are using homebased players.

Is it the home based players Sudan trashed 4+0?

No, keep rubber stamping with that useless senate president. I have never seen a more useless national assembly like this present national assembly. You can't hold power accountable. You behave like you are a junior arm of government. What happened to the principle of separation of powers?

ShobayoEmma:
Instead of prepaid meter, they gave us bandit A,BC and D.

I paid for this prepaid meter through skyebank then with the receipt still with me till today, the prepaid has not arrived since almost 10 years now with one of their official recently saying I should go and pay for another one.



Tinubu, a bad man with good intentions

You said it all... He has good intentions, but it's impossible to implement and achieve because of his antecedents, the people he surrounds himself with, his past and his acumen.

I schooled in the North between 2005 and 2010. Niger State precisely. I had fear for Northern food until I met my Northern brothers and friends. I was introduced to Tuwo, Mia Kuka, turn brown, Archa, and I loved it. I have missed it actually. Although it's been quite long and I have forgotten the taste but I loved it then. I hope I can relive those moments.

The problem is, these textbooks inculcate workbooks or assignments that the kids have to do in the textbooks. I think they need to go back to textbooks being textbooks and any assignment should be done in the note, not a workbook or in the textbook itself.

I agree. But not on government funds. Let's run it like NLNG. Government sell 49% stake in the refinery to private sector to handle the rehabilitation and run the refinery when it comes on stream

When we were growing up, it was always Pry 6. I didn't even do SS3. My kids school said I had to pay 12k for a 3 year olds graduation going from pre school to KG. School fees for him isn't even up to 30k for the term. Why should I pay almost half the school fees for a one day party? I told my two kids, pls sit at home. They refused to give them their prizes for being the best and I don't care. Resumed summer school and I paid their fees in full for summer school, collected their report card and took them out to buy gifts for them (a new school sandals and bag).

How to say no to friends and stand on your principles. How not to allow them continually leech off of you.

Where the president does well, I'll commend him. This is a great development. But must be travel again? Is the first lady not taking good care of him? We need to know pls.

Abi Ebira people don do am something? Fear Ebira people o? I pray he gets well soon and his brain resets and begin working truly for the Nigerian people

This is just 13% derivation o, not FAAC nor VAT. State governors are really ruining this country and the oga at the top can't challenge them because of reelection.

Hmmmmmmm.... Oga be very sure about what you want to do o. Have you heard the click yet?

I was there at the camp. I slept on the chair and I had a. Lovely time with God. I will go again and again. I have accepted my fate of sleeping in the auditorium because I may not be there on time for accommodation and I can't go f on the old to the new. Let's die with God in the auditorium. Na pray we come pray... No be enjoyment

I was there live in the program, and believe me, I will do my best to give N1 billion. Do whatever you will with this. The crowd at the redemption camp during this convention was overwhelming and it's a testament to what God is doing. Resources were stretched and there's need for more construction. We won't miss out. Cry as you may, you are not feeding me. It's not your money.

eagleonearth:
what if the 35 year old is a virgin and is truly down with you?

Not really bad at all. It's just that women have a biological clock. But with God, nothing is impossible.