₦airaland Forum

Imbecilicsamuel:
Marriage marriage na em full your head then. See am na.

Now you are waiting for him to give you money for this and that.

Do the needful.

Eketem:
More emotional blackmail, there is no medical report or autopsy to confirm what killed Osinachi till then I won't comment on that , I wonder how that is relevant to your issue.


You have blamed your husband
Blamed his mother
Blamed unmarried people on this post
Now Blamed society, all because you do not want to do a proper self reflection.

Good for you to decide it is spiritual and follow it spiritually, good luck with that.


You decided to be a good girl and for whose benefit is that? Is it not for your own benefit? Do you want an award for that?

You want him to set you up in business, have you considered that what you assume he has he may not have? If he doesn't set you up, you wont grow?

The problem with this victim mentality growing on social media is that people believe they can make bad choices and blame it on others especially society.

Who is society?

Again his mom who you have declared a witch is she not a victim? Are you not also society ?

Eketem:
Curse from today till next year I think before I act and take responsibility for my actions.

I don't go looking for who to blame abuse or curse.

Another victim mentality, always looking to hold on to victim Hood. We must swallow your story hook, line and sinker no questions asked else you resort to emotional blackmail.

The mother in law you tagged a marine spirit, is she not a woman and victim of yours? You are moving from church to shrine to declare her a winch instead of rolling up your sleeves and making a comprehensive plan for your life.

What exactly do you want?

Names of churches and shrines to go and fight them or the truth of your situation.

If you like stay here and hold on to the victimhood, you will waste all your money from church to shrine and still be back to the same issue.

See how easy it is for you to shame and curse out those who don't agree with you, one can only wonder what vile things you have said to your spouse.

Pascopele:
Why you still in the marriage?

Take up a job, he can't do jack read what I wrote slowly.

Eketem:
So in summary:

1. You claim your husband has millions in savings
2. He doesn't want to open a business for you or pay for your masters
3. He sends email when you apply for jobs to sabotage your efforts.
4. His mother is infected by a marine spirit
5. He pays all current bills and buys even your phones
6. You suspect he is gay
7. You don't want to leave the marriage
8. You marriage shame those who have tried to advise you
9. You want to go to a Church and also a Juju place for solutions.


So this is my own summary even without hearing from your husband.

You have a victim complex and listen to So many tales from the many people you have gone to wail about your situation so you will never sit a reflect on your own actions and inactions that have led to your failures, somebody else must always be blamed. If he opens a business for you and it fails you will probably accuse him of using ritual money to do so.

If I reading without bias can be so tired of the several spins you have come up with I wonder what your husband goes through.

Even if the man works himself to death for you it will never be enough there will be always something to blame him for .

I blame him for marrying a child who has not fully developed to understand actions, consequences and personal responsibility.

Keep running from pillar to post, I am sure the reason for all this drama is you are comparing your life and status to other friends and want to be in the positions they are and as you are not it is easy to blame your husband who married you out of school for that.

I will take a wild guess you have bought and used kayanmata from those online vendors on him and it hasnt worked yet. Gen Z things.


If all you said is true then walk away, for the sale of that man walk away before you nag and frustrate him to death.

The truth is nobody can help you till you help yourself, sit down and tell yourself the truth, what are your expectations and what is reality? How do you work to meet your expectations? How can you start a zero capital business and stay focused on it?

Use this time you use gossiping and looking for church and juju to research, read and have a sober reflection on your choices. Learn and research before starting any business, you are not in competition with anybody.

GloriousGbola:
Ironically the exact same thing happened with my neighbour. The car he brought out for his wife to use has been sitting under a tree for the past two weeks.

GloriousGbola:
Ironically the exact same thing happened with my neighbour. The car he brought out for his wife to use has been sitting under a tree for the past two weeks.

GloriousGbola:
Ironically the exact same thing happened with my neighbour. The car he brought out for his wife to use has been sitting under a tree for the past two weeks.

GloriousGbola:
There is nothing spiritual about this
It is the man's nature.

There is a story I told before about how I had to go to a big man's house. His worker had bashed my car. I was regaled with stories about all the land and property the man owned. We got to the house and it was in darkness. He was out of town. His wife came out. The woman was completely helpless and could not even have the generator put on. She could only say 'just talk to my husband'

There is another case right in my close. This man is at least 50. He reportedly has a lot of money. He is clearly very miserly. Anyways a few years ago he married this young lady. University graduate. The lady is now on her fourth child for this man. She does nothing. She cannot drive even though the man has a spare, battered 2003 corolla. Na okada everywhere. She is not happy.

It is a mindset some men (I think provincial Ibo in particular) have. There is really nothing you can do unless you can sort yourself out without his support. Though from your story, he may go out of his way to sabotage any of your efforts to empower yourself.

There is no marine kingdom or any other supernatural story here. Just a husband who expects his wife to bear and raise children and nothing else



This is one of those cases where I will just siddon look. The red flags must have been there when the lady married. Him. The neighbour I referenced is an uneducated and very cantankerous man. I could not imagine how the courtship between him and his wife went.

This for me is one of those stories where the lady knew the deal and entered with her eyes open for reasons

frozen70:
Terrible
Just go on uoir knees and pray to God for direction

As for what they said that his mum tied him down, she may have been the one that funded this business so that may be their agreement

You have to wait ait until the day that woman will be dead and buried then lets see if your husband will regain freedom

The mistake has already been done, so I won't advice you to leave, ery soon those kids will grow to fight for you

timy22:
Stop reporting him or depending on him to make your life better.

Believe in your self and makeup your mind to better in every areas of your life.

Create another email account, apply for jobs, put a password on your phone.

Talk to people who can, to get you job.
Or talk to friends and family to loan you money to start a small business.

Tell yourself , you can achieve anything you desire. Pray to God and and work smart.

The sky is your starting point .

samtol4:
You are praying and the same time you want to go Ijebu to see an herbalist ? What kind of christian goes to herbalist ? Ijebu you want to go is the spirit of God leading you there ? Be careful so you wont destroys yourself with charms . You have prayed ? have you adjusted your character and show more love to your husband ? have you asked God what is the next step to do ? Be careful where you seek for solutions the consequence will not be funny .

AjiBussu:
From my experiences with the women folk, be careful when listening to their one sided stories [No offense intended]. Everyone is right and blameless when they are the judge in their own case.

Nonetheless, involve ur families since it has degenerated this much.

Acidosis:
To change that man, you have to get someone in your family to speak with him. If there's no one to call on, I am sorry, you may have to endure for as long as possible. A trouble-filled inter-tribal marriage like this without anyone on your side, may leave you devastated for a long time.

His mother tied him up so bad that he listens to whatever she tells him, right? Then, get someone in your family to tie you up and get you the benefits/rights that you seek in that marriage. It is that simple.

I suspect that man is taking advantage of you because you have nobody to "fight" for you. If this is the situation, then you should have been extra extra careful with your spousal decision.

Acidosis:
To change that man, you have to get someone in your family to speak with him. If there's no one to call on, I am sorry, you may have to endure for as long as possible. A trouble-filled inter-tribal marriage like this without anyone on your side, may leave you devastated.

His mother tied him up so bad that he listens to whatever she tells him, right? Then, get someone for yourself to tie you up and get you the benefits/rights that you seek in that marriage. It is that simple.

grafixdon:
He doesn't pay school fees, hospital bills, foods, house rent...?

socialmediaman:
Ok, when you say there may be trust issues, what do you mean? Who doesn’t trust who, and what don’t they trust them about?

Secondly, just to clarify, are you trying to become financially independent of him, or fix your marriage, or both?

grafixdon:
Hear from the man first, don't judge one sided story especially when it's coming from a woman... Some women will never appreciate even if you cut your head for them.

grafixdon:
Hear from the man first, don't judge one sided story especially when it's coming from a woman... Some women will never appreciate even if you cut your head for them.

grafixdon:
Software development? Lol. Its not an easy thing to learn easily just like that, do you have time to code?

grafixdon:
Becareful how you judge one sided story... Very dangerous thing to do. Some women will never appreciate even if you cut your head for them.

socialmediaman:
Ok. I’m just trying to understand what’s going on here. You mentioned that he goes about talking to other people. He doesn’t have a reason why he doesn’t want you to have your own income? That’s strange.

Does he give you money for personal upkeep? Do you both have kids? Are there insubordination, infidelity or trust issues in the marriage? Do you have issues with his mother?

heniford2:
quite complain start something little u have fridge in ur house start iceblock business your waiting for him to give you millions so u can go and dash dat ur boyfriend why can't you start something make the money and cook a nice meal without asking him money for a week start akara business you will be shock as how he will support u,madam housewife

Kobojunkie:
Wait a second....don't tell me you seriously want to believe the reason why your husband doesn't value you as an individual is because of a cock-n-bull story fed you by some mog or pastor?.

Anyways, you explained that your husband has near no respect for you in the marriage you both agreed to - marriage is a contract/agreement between a man and woman - and you are merely a glorified intimacy gadget, baba mama and housegirl in your union, but desire more. So tell us, what do you intend to do about what is your predicament? Surely, if you truly believe you are worth more, you must have ideas on what you would rather do to change your situation?

socialmediaman:
Madam, the part I missed in your story was the part where you spoke to him about the situation and he said what? Why do he and his mother not want you to have financial means? Why does your husband want you to be suffering? Let’s get to the root of the matter first

heniford2:
am already married to a white lady self developed lady with Three kids so shut up if he helps u grow now u will still not support him when his down u will institute hate among the kids against ur husband, am glad men are wise enough if u calm ur a super lady why not divorce ur husband and watch how it goes. yeye housewife