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“If she was planning to kill anyone, she should kill us all in one place.”
One of Mustapha’s children, Kunle, was instructed by his father to narrate what happened in his room some time ago.
“I went to the toilet in the middle of the night. That same time, my step-mother went to the toilet as well but she left the door open. She told me to go and close the door. When I turned my back, I saw her spraying something around my room. I told my father the following day,” the boy said.
Mustapha also showed this correspondent the badly burnt leg of his daughter which he claimed was caused by his ex-wife.
What happened to your leg, this correspondent asked the 10-year-old girl.
“My step-mother dipped my leg inside hot water,” she answered.
Titilayo also denied allegations against her. “That woman is a liar. I never accused my father of sleeping with me because that has never happened. She injured the girl,” she said.
Mustapha said his ex-wife was cooking up lies against him to destroy him.
“I decided to report at the police station because I was frustrated. She claimed I was a fraudster in Malaysia before I came back home. That is a lie. I was a cab driver; a job that is very lucrative there,” he said.
Earlier on Thursday, Wilfred had recounted the treatment meted out to her by policemen at Idimu to this correspondent and members of the Esther Child Rights Foundation.
The Area Commander, Mr. Ibrahim Kaoje, did not seem to have heard about the case before, even though the IPO, Cpl. Seun Adebisi, who had allegedly taken her to court, had said his superior had requested for her.
“I want every party in this case to be present in my office on Tuesday. Make sure the ex-husband is here. We will hear everybody out and know where to go then. I also need the case file,” the area commander said.

“But instead of allowing me to see the area commander, I was pushed into a waiting vehicle with a newborn in my arms. They pushed away my sister who attempted to follow us to know where they were taking us.
“They took me to a magistrate court, I was accused of injuring my step-sister and I was remanded for one month and three days for something I knew nothing about. The police had already spoken to the child and she confirmed that Titilayo was responsible. I guess my husband must have paid handsomely to ensure they send me to jail.”
The Director of the Esther Child Rights Foundation, Mrs. Esther Ogwu, who reported Wilfred’s case at the ministry for action, said Wilfred’s treatment amounted to abuse of the little child she was carrying.
“How could you rush a nursing mother to court and detain her for something she knew nothing about? That 10-month-old child was abused through his mother’s detention. He was forcefully stopped from breast-feeding because he was not allowed to be with his mother in jail.
“The father is obviously using the police to punish his wife. She alleged that despite the customary court’s judgement, the ex-husband seized her passport, phones and laptop.”
On Thursday, this correspondent went in search of Mustapha. The man, who had his other children with him at the time, denied most of the allegations levied against him by his ex-wife.
Asked whether he truly sleeps with his first daughter, he said, “That is a big lie concocted by her. What evidence does she have? Let her produce her evidence.”
Wilfred had told this correspondent she had no recording to back up her claim.
He was also asked if indeed Titilayo sleeps in his room but he did not deny that.
Mustapha said, “My ex-wife is fetish. When I got back from Malaysia, I was informed about her fetish activities like spraying liquids around the house. I had to ask all my children including the ones she had for me to sleep in my room.

The fair-complexioned woman said she loved her husband and some discoveries she made forced her to embark on many days of prayer and fasting so that he could be delivered.
She was evasive when this correspondent enquired what those discoveries were. She alleged she was being persecuted because of those discoveries. Wilfred later claimed that before Titilayo left home years ago, she had alleged that her father was sexually abusing her, which made relations send her back to her mother’s families.
“When my husband came back from Malaysia, I started noticing things that pointed to the fact that they were having sexual relationship. But I did not confirm until one morning when I went to my husband’s room and saw both of them naked.
“I screamed because it confirmed my fear. At that time, my husband had chased me out of his room. When he came back from his trip, he said I was the one that made him lose his job in Malaysia. He said I injured his daughter’s leg and maltreated his children. When he sent me packing from his room, Titilayo packed into the room. She used his towel and dressed up in his presence.”
This correspondent asked why she decided to continue to stay in the house and why she did not report to family members, she said she had nowhere to go.
According to her, her husband took her to the police and asked her to choose between being prosecuted for the injury on her step-daughter’s leg or divorce.
“I chose divorce even though I was carrying a three-week old baby at the time,” she said.
After their divorce, the court directed Mustapha to pay N50,000 to her to resettle her, pay N10,000 monthly for the upkeep of her children and allow her to pack her belongings. The court added that the couple could approach a family court if there was controversy as to the custody of their children.
But their issues deteriorated in November last year when the police summoned Wilfred.
“The Investigation Police Officer handling the case at the Idimu Area Command summoned me that the area commander wanted to see me.

It was a whirlwind romance when 48-year-old Bamidele Mustapha engaged and married his now 30-year-old ex-wife, Patience Wilfred, six years ago. One could never have imagined the explosive allegations going back and forth between them now.
The marriage between Wilfred, a woman from Akwa Ibom State and the Oyo State-born Mustapha was dissolved by a customary court in Lagos in July, 2013.
But peace has yet to reign between the two as the young woman spent more than one month languishing at the Kirikiri Female Prison, Lagos after she was remanded by a court.
She came back from her detention, only to approach the Lagos State Ministry of Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation for redress as she alleged that Mustapha had bribed some police men at the Idimu Area Command to charge her to court on spurious allegations.
She said, “When my husband travelled to Malaysia in 2012, I was in charge of my two step-children. I also have two children for him and was pregnant at the time. His 28-year-old daughter, Titilayo, a girl he had with another woman when he was young, had previously left home but she came back to live with us at the time.
“One of my step-daughters sustained an injury one day and I instructed Titilayo to help use warm water to treat the leg. I had no idea that because of her hatred for the girl, she had made the water very hot. The girl’s leg became affected by the water.
“When my husband came back from Malaysia, he said I was the one responsible, even though the girl had said that her elder step-sister inflicted the injury on her.”

Lma0..So funny

pweetixandy: my ParentS neVer aPologiSe.
dey r never Polite when aSkin for a favour cos its Mur lyk a cOmmand.

av grown uP finding it diFficult Saying "m sorry" nd exPressinq my feelings.


i dnt even haV a friendly relationshiP..nt even My sibs.


its bad

We're so much alike..
I and my siblings do get along pretty well sometimes..Mum takes our ideas seriously sometimes..She listens to us and would want us to contribute..

[quote author=j.tenna]u are so brave and a wise youth. I admire u for that. Keeping urself for marriage is so worth it. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If u finally have sex, believe me, it will be so hard to stop after that. I wish someone had told me this. Stay chaste.[/quote]Thank you so much ma'am..

Danielle22: I second u.......#gbam

I shouldn't be replying this but..
On a second thought, the moderator never found a fault in it..Pls go lay your complain to the moderator..

Tinyemeka: Thought you said she's a nympho?

You this boy, face our studies. Worry about sex and chicks when you are mature enough. When you have your own house.

Thanks

Acidosis: Don't y'all get tired of articles?

Permit me to ask you..

Is anything wrong with this piece?

Krystalxxx: Still hherre debating with people? Well, whatever the results of this are don't say I didn't warn you. Even those who are suffering from their choices here on nairaland will continue to insult u and deggrade u until you choose to be like dem. Since u think u are wise enough to defeat the world sha, enjoy. Good luck

I need not reply them..Its of no use..

And i can never be like the majority..

Thanks anyway..

10.“That’s it – we’re through”

You may say things like these in the heat of the moment and then later apologize to your partner by saying that you never meant it. No matter how sincere your apologies, the damage is done. Even if you don’t mean to walk out, your partner will know that for a second you felt doing just that and for this reason, it will be difficult not only for him/her to trust you again but also to work at a relationship which just might come asunder on your whims. Nothing, no amount of fighting is worth saying that your relationship is over.

I'm not married but i hope this helps..I saw this article somewhere and decided to share it..Just praying that its not criticized..

7.“Wait – I got distracted, what did you say just now?”

The minimum courtesy you can show your partner is to give him/her your attention. Understandably you don’t want to hear the ugly things about you or your relationship expressed in plain language but letting your attention wander is merely going to be yet another reason why your partner is mad at you. If you want the issues to be resolved, it is necessary you really listen to each other and focus on what is causing the problems.

8.“This is so like you”

Painting every annoying thing your partner says or does with the same brushstroke of a negative character is just not fair. Recognize that the problem is not the person but certain actions or words which make you feel unloved, rejected or disrespected. So when having an argument, focus on the exact words or acts of your partner which upset you rather than clubbing everything together under an unlikable personality type.

9.“Don’t come near me tonight”/”does this mean we’re not having sex tonight”

While it is more common for women to say the former and men to say the latter, both are extreme responses to the complicated relation between sex and feelings. Women should avoid withholding sex to punish their partners while men should understand that it is difficult for their partners to become intimate if their feelings are hurt. So avoid bring up sex when you are actually arguing over other matters. If your sex life is also a source of conflict, discuss it separately rather than using it to make a point or accuse the other person.

4.“Why can’t you be more like so-and-so”
Never compare your partner to another man or woman – especially to a friend’s partner. You already knew your lover’s plus and minus points when you entered into a relationship and if they didn’t bother you then, don’t bring them up now – especially in comparison to another man or woman. Everybody seems perfect and desirable when seen from the outside – for all you know, your friend might be having other problems with their partner[b] 5.“My mother warned me about this” [/b]

Bringing another person – especially your mother – into an argument which is about your relationship is plainly unfair. If you are so devoted to your mother’s advice, then you should have listened to her in the first place and not got involved at all. More importantly such phrases will make your partner more suspicious of your family - if your partner didn’t already hate your mother before, he/she will surely start doing so now.

6.“I feel like there is something you are not telling me”

This is especially irritating to guys when their partners go on and on –asking them to talk about what is bothering them. In most cases a guy may just be feeling low and want to zone out before the TV; and even if a man seems to be hiding something, needling him continuously about it will only serve to raise his hackles and escalate things to an ugly level. And who knows, if he is not ready to talk about it, his partner may not be ready to listen to or accept it either.

Fights are not uncommon in a relationship. No matter how much two people love each other, they are never going to feel exactly the same way about every single thing in their relationship – indeed this is not even humanly possible, unless those two are scientific clones of one another. However it is important to fight fair – that is seeking to air out differences with the purpose of resolving them and not merely to ‘win’ an argument or insult the other person. To do this, make sure you never say the following ten things during a fight.

1.“Here we go again”
For best effect you would probably accompany the above sentence with a rolling of the eyes or a shaking of the head. However dismissing your partner’s concerns is a sure fire way of making him/her feel stupid and immature. If he/she has brought up a point, it is unlikely because they get a thrill out of fighting with you but because he/she feels that it is a pertinent issue which needs to be addressed for the sake of a healthy relationship. Discounting your partner’s concerns with such a phrase will not only make him/her feel worthless but discourage them of making any efforts to resolve any issues in future.

2.“You always ignore me”
One of the rules of fighting fair is to avoid making absolute statements – these usually include the words ‘always’ or ‘never’ like “we never do the things I like anymore”. Such sentences are largely untruthful since surely some time or the other your partner agrees to spend an evening as you would like to. When you start making such exaggerated complaints, you come across as needy and a whiner and neither is an attractive trait in a lover.

3.“You never used to be like this”

Whether or not this is true, saying something like this in the heat of an argument is of no use. Over time every individual goes through changes – personal, psychological and physical – and expecting your partner to be the same person from ten years ago is completely illogical.

katty40: Not to d guys alone!ur mistake which actually didn't happen has taught so many even if der so scared or ashamed to admit it!am rili glad I saw dis uv givn me d reason not to do it until am married..ws about making same mistake next week with my bf but am calling it off..thank u at op

I'm happy it helped you..

churific: I'll leave your views to you but #5 is the most irrelevant. You can still contact STDs from your wife unless if you're smart enough to get tested together before marriage!

It was gonna be unprotected

[quote author=Sir.lucky]thank you sir. This small boy na teenagers oo, nairaland nor need to dey accept small boys this site. What a childish post, na force to sleep with girls. You be learner?[/quote]How i'm i not sure you are faking your age?

Words of a kid..

Okuda: Instead make u just tell us say u don contact std or hiv or gonorrhea u dey talk many many

emmyoha87: @OP which online site wey U meet d babe abeg!!!
In case I no want dull am like U!!!

Okuda: Instead make u just tell us say u don contact std or hiv or gonorrhea u dey talk many many

Accept change and repent..

OnukemChijioke: Pals is it true that the more s*x u av, d lesser ur chances of making it in Life ?

Uhm who said that?

all4naija: @OP

I would like to prescribe a movie for you. The movie is 'Don Jon(2013)'. You need to watch it for your own good!

Characteristics before i sleep pls..

all4naija: Your religion! Oh,please! We I have lived my life for that primitive people's doctrine before. I possibly know much about it than you do. Bwahaha... I think you are very funny!

Lol..

I'm speechless!!

Prodigal son: u dnt want to break rule 2 but u can break rule 8, cos am sure u actually fuccked dat biatch afterall. kan dey form virgin 4 here.

Believe what you wish..

bakry86: So you think you are no longer a kid?

What's your problem?

Prodigal son: I have been trying to rate ur stupidity but u just confirmed hw stupid u ar. Pls dnt quote wat u "ignore" nxt time

I don't wanna break rule two..

I never said "I WILL IGNORE YOU" i said ignoring helps a lot sometimes..

okpara ugo: Okay,

As i take dey serious with my life now, make i hear say my name no enter world's richest...

An Amen to that..One day you'll be surprised..

@Being...Thank you so much..I feel encouraged to face those guys who think this is a crappy topic..

I promise not to do anything stupid until i'm married..

Nostradamus: there's already a lesson in it,read d story all over

Help me tell him jare..

saxtinz: Can't lie to u,there isn't any lessonh here,and it's even a tease topic just to draw attentions.mtcheewwwwwwwwww

Prodigal son: if u b female, I promise u say dis Elli dude go fucck d hell out of u. Na so d guy take dey trick babes to get dia contact ooo wt all his pathetic gayish boring stories. My gal nor go fall victim ooo

Prodigal son: guy nw u wan dey lecture us on how to mastturrbate, u do well

Ibime: Arrant nonsense!!

Ignoring helps a lot..

all4naija: You will still do that after you are married. Perhaps your wife will help you with that. Stop following primitive people's doctrines. People who know nothing about many things about life. Like the bullsh*t heaven and hell, Adam and Eve,etc talks

Quit criticizing my religion..

Oglight: What a boring story... Why u dey tell us sef?

Lame post..Why you de read am sef?

willibounce: Am not gay bro. Get a girl and use ur dii..ck. That's if u have one though.

Corrupt minded human..

Who said something about sleeping with you?