Cc: Ymodulus

saintvc:
Atheist are anti-human

So also is commenting without reading

Article originally written by me and posted on my brother's blog: :owww.olivernwankwo.com/guest-posts/




I was having an argument with a
colleague a few weeks back. Bored and
unable to get him to view the bone of
contention from my own perspective. I
decided to let the argument die. But how was I to end the debate without beingthe loser and appearing not to know what I wanted to say? So I said to him:

“We don’t know everything. God does
and only he can explain things beyond
the scope of our limited understanding”
Of course the debate died a natural
death without either one of us being the
loser and our individual egos intact.

This illustration shows, to an extent, how much dependent the human mind is on the super natural and why we cannot
exist wholesomely without religion and
all its tenets. At this point I will like to
state that I am a skeptic -a baptized
skeptic, if I might add. Regardless of how much doubt I have about the existence of God, I still agree, from a sociological perspective, that our existence is anchored on something which I cannot name, but for the purpose of this article I shall call it God and religion.

As a rebellious first year student of social science, angry at the world for no just reason and dabbling in the sticky river of moral justice, perfect world and
socialism (even communism), I formed a theory that I could neither substantiate or verify the accuracy. The theory saw religion as a system set up by a group of wise government men to control the people. To force the acceptance of law and subsequent relinquishing of certain parts of human freedom and action. Strangely in all my young wisdom buoyed by the writing of German economist, Karl Marx, I had failed to consider the ‘universality’ of religion and Its variability from place to place.

No matter how primitive, salvage,
backward or underdeveloped a society or country is, a form of religion must exist. And it serves to lubricate the wheel of the socioeconomic and political activities of each society. With some societies basing their laws, in totality, on the tenets of the religion they profess. Religion in itself becomes a social concept not just in its modus operandi but in its function which may include, but not exclusive to, bringing family and community together in spirit and in thought, serving as a source of law and social control, supposedly linking man to an ultimate being who hears, sees and cares for his children. An eternal bond between man and God. A bond that satisfies the longing of man and the sweet taste that someone, like big brother, is watching eternally. Because human life is inundated with
uncertainties, that science in all its
wisdom cannot dissipate or give a
futuristic explanations, humanity has no
option but to seek recourse to a being,
who for all intent and purposes, His
existence cannot be verified much less
explain.

Closing our eyes in prayer and in direct
communication to heaven provides a
source of security (being a basic human
need) and although prayers may not be
answered immediately, man become
more confident that someone
somewhere had actually listened -even
though it cannot be proved.

It becomes convenient to define religion
as a communion between people who
aspire for the same things bearing in
mind the similarity of their societal
values, norm, culture and community
sense (which is more often than not
influenced by the religion they profess). I take more liberty in saying that religion is the identity of every society.

It becomes imperative to say that
religion is a necessary part of a society,
its development, function, future and
maintenance. Due to its wholesome
appearance hinged, more or less, on the
doctrines of holiness and truth, religion
becomes an important tool for social
control. Serving to curtail the excesses of one’s thought and actions. And if
peradventure, a thought or idea
becomes ingrained in the subconscious,
the fear of sanctions (both spiritual and
physical) which will be imposed for such
transgression keeps a person in check.

The Igbo’s of south eastern Nigeria prior
to the colonial interference in their
mode of governance had a system of
government that primarily resonated
around God (chukwu) and the deities
who were viewed as an mediators
between man and almighty God
(chukwu). The fear of the wrath of
deities, who were believed to punish in
terrible and swift ways like thunder
strike, famine, drought, locust invasion
etc- kept activities of errant individual’s
in check. Communal decision revolved
around the tenets of chukwu’s teaching
through his priest and seers.

“Religion is the sigh of the oppressed
creature, the heart of a heartless world,
and the soul of soulless conditions. It is
the opium of the people”- German
economist Karl Marx wrote.

Religious institutions such as the church,
mosque, shrine etc becomes social
institution and structure, which like
democracy is built for the people and by
the people. It does its function by being
the conscience of the society and in a
way making religion a veritable tool for
control of human behaviour and society
at large. Thus manipulate religion, which by extention is like manipulating the security of people, then you control the people.

Because it is an accepted truism that
human being is fallible and we cannot
answer certain question dangling and
taunting and challenging our existence,
we begin to hope in something and have
a change in the direction of the pointers
of our faith towards God and religion.
Thus we long for something larger than
life in which we can lay our problems at
its feet. A sign of hope that the unknown
tomorrow will be blessed. Something to
believe in as a sign of our redemption
and something we can trust as the hope
of the future.

In his most darkest moment, when it
seems his world is back pedaling instead of going forward, the most confirmed of atheist begins to believe in something ( Something superior and controller of all things and maker of all things). He may
not necessary call it God, he can
conveniently termed it ‘nature’. But he is
afraid, frustrated and in need of a sign of hope and something to believe in. So he goes down on his knees in prayer. His being soon finds release and peace as he willingly embraces his new faith. The release comes not because of the divine but because the over burdened
subconcious begins to relax as it upload
or rather onloads its burden on
something superior.

Finally, in some ways, religion is the
answer to the problems of mankind. Not
that it explicitly states solution to the
principle of projectile motion or other
scientific, sociological and psychological
problems rather it provides a solution by advocating its own version of don’t ask, just believe. And because man needs an answer to everything –and man mustn’t
know everything-, religion cautions man
not to tamper with what the Gods hasn’t
made clear to him. Religion does this by
making its message largely esoteric and
wrapped in a huge foil of philosophical
and theological reasoning that leaves the brain of mere mortals constantly afraid, in awe, and in respect of whatever it is that religion hides. An attempt to unravel this mystery -which may not actually be a mystery but an ordinary thing wrapped in mysticism to awe the human mind- leads to sanction by the religion and its representation.

Despite the fact that we rejoice at being
the dominant of all living and non-living
things, humans find comfort at the
thought that there is someone bigger
than us. Someone watching over us and
eternally on guard to protect us. Thus,
religion came into being to fill this
vacuum and religion will be here to fill
the vacuum as a path to the creator,
protector and lover of man and other
things.

ChickRockz:
IMO,That Zodiac Killer has nothing on Jack the Ripper.I was seriously scared when I read about the guy

If I hear. The zodiac killer is far worst than Jack the ripper. Just that Jack the ripper has been well talked off in the media

fa ithugo64:
seconded!

Thirded

CBNIM:
No one prays to have a child that's gay! But if that makes you happy, so be it. When ever I see how happy and so in love Ellen and Portia are, I truly envy them gay or not. Happiness should come first.

Spot on bro. Spot on.
Happiness should be the highest denominator in our lives. Not religion or money or any other stuff.

Ymodulus:
The, Greatest undoing of Jonathan's government is that it does not see, hear or feel that there is any sense in any reasoning outside of his own reasoning. The effect is that Mr President and his effusive goons are locked out from reality. They live in Jupiter. And that is exactly why a monumental shock and rude awakening is likely to tap them on their shoulders come February next year.

Given the gullibility of the people of this country, if the party didn't give the Presidency to an unbearable failure like Jonathan, the PDP could have ruled this country for another 40 to 50 years. But Jonathan will now surely bring the madness to an end by imploding the behemoth machinery and oligarchy of impunity, lawlessness, corruption and misrule known as the PDP. PDP must vacate the center come February 2015. That is the only way forward for the democracy and development of this country.


Its high time we vote in a progressive that will replenish the Nation's Lost Glory. Let me leave you with the words of Jane Addams.

[size=15pt]"Unless our conception of patriotism is progressive, it cannot hope to embody the real affection and the real interest of the nation."[/size] - Jane Addams

How sure are we that APC is any different from PDP? The fact that one leaves a corrupt party for an equalling corrupt party doesn't necessary make them better. PDP and APC are of the same stock. The best thing that will happen to the poor masses is if, by intervention, a revolution happens and flush these set of people, called leaders, out of our system.
GEJ is not the sole problem of Nigeria. APC equally is.

slimstanakacns:
OP
Please tel us-what is your motive behind this post? I hope this doesn't make front page. I regretted reading this.

Didn't u see serial killers on the title before clicking? Oya tell us what were u hoping to see when u opened the link?
Why e be say people way dey answer Chibuzor like to dey do holy holy

1. The Zodiac Killer

The Zodiac killer is arguably the most infamous,
unidentified serial killer of all time. He was active
in Northern California in the late 1960’s and early
1970’s. Although the Zodiac Killer claims to have
murdered 37 people, investigators have only been
able to link him to 5 deaths and 2 injuries. The
Zodiac Killer’s first known victims were Betty
Lou Jensen and David Faraday. They were found
on December 20, 1968. The couple were on their
first date and were planning on attending the
Christmas Concert at Hogan High School.
Instead, the couple decided to visit a friend and
then they made their way over to a gravel turnout,
that was well-known as “Lovers’ Lane,” that’s
when they came into contact with the Zodiac
Killer. Investigators believe that the killer exited
his car and made his way over to the couple’s car.
He then ordered them to exit their own car. Jensen
seems to have exited first but when Faraday
attempted to exit, the killer shot him in the head.
When Jensen tried to flee from the killer, he shot
her as well. The Zodiac Killer would go on to
claim five more victims. During his killings, the
Zodiac Killer would send letters to the police,
taunting them. He would make demands, give
them cryptograms to solve in order to reveal his
true identity, and he would tell them about
upcoming attacks. His final letter concluded with
this, “Me=37, SFPD=0.” A number of people
were suspected to be the Zodiac Killer but nothing
ever came of it. A few people have even
confessed to the crimes, while other children have
come forward claiming that their father or
stepfather was the real Zodiac Killer. However,
none of these claims came with much evidence to
back them up, meaning that the Zodiac Killer has
yet to be identified.

2. The Original Night Stalker/East Area
Rapist

The Original Night Stalker was active in the late
1970’s and early 1980’s, in Contra Costa County.
His first victims to ever be reported were Dr.
Robert Offerman and his girlfriend, Debra
Alexandra Manning. The couple was shot and
killed in their home on December 30, 1979.
During the next seven years, The Original Night
Stalker took seven more victims, all by breaking
into their homes, where he would kill them.
Around the same time as The Original Night
Walker killings were going on, San Francisco was
being terrorized by the East Area Rapist. This
man would break into the homes of women and
then rape them. He managed to do this 50 times.
In 2001, investigators made a miraculous
discovery using DNA testing. They discovered
that The Original Night Stalker and the East Area
Rapist were in fact, the same person. Thankfully,
this serial killer/ rapist’s crimes stopped in 1986,
leaving many to believe that he either died or was
imprisoned for another crime.

3. The Atlanta Ripper

The Atlanta Ripper was active during the year
1911, in Atlanta. This unidentified person is
responsible for the murders of anywhere between
15-21 women. The Atlanta Ripper’s first victim
was found on May 28, 1911. The woman was
named Belle Walker. She was an African-
American woman who was found with her throat
slit, just 25 yards from her home. Then on June
15, the body of another African-American
woman, Addie Watts was found in the exact same
fashion as Belle Walker’s. By the end of 1911,
another thirteen African-American or dark skinned
women would be found with their throat’s
slashed. Although six different suspects were
questioned in correlation with the murders, no one
was ever convicted.

4. Jack the Stripper

Jack the Stripper is the nickname of a serial killer
who was active in London, between 1964 and
1965. The reason why his given name is so
similar to that of Jack the Ripper’s is because
their victimology is so alike. Like Jack the
Ripper, Jack the Stripper murdered prostitutes. He
murdered between six and eight prostitutes and
then dumped their bodies into the River Thames.
Jack the Stripper’s first known victim was named
Hannah Tailford. Her body was found in
February, 1964. She had been strangled and some
of her teeth were missing. When a second body
was found around where Hannah had been
dumped, 57-year-old Kenneth Archibald
confessed to the two murders. However, police
dismissed his confession when he failed to
remember certain facts about the killings and
when a third body was found. A total of three
more bodies were found, that seemed to match
Jack the Stripper’s murders. Around this time,
John Du Rose, the head of the investigation, held
a press conference announcing that their pool of
7,000 suspects had gone down to 20, then 10, and
finally three. After this, the killings inexplicably
stopped and Jack the Stripper got away with murder.

5. The Babysitter Killer

The Babysitter Killer, also known as the Oakland
County Child Killer, is responsible for the
murders of at least four children. The killer was
active between 1976 and 1977, in Oakland
County, Michigan. The murders took place during
a thirteen-month period, causing panic in
Southeastern Michigan. During this time, children
would not be let out of their houses without a
parent or guardian present and the few who were
allowed to go out without their parents, had to do
so in a large group, where everyone could see
them. The Babysitter Killer’s first known victim
was twelve-year-old, Mark Stebbins. He went
missing on February 15 and his body was found
just four days later. He was found laid out on a
snow bank with the same outfit that he had on the
day he went missing. He had been strangled and
sexually assaulted. The next three victims were all
found fully clothed, and in plain sight. Although
law enforcers brought in many suspects for
questioning, they were never able to tie anyone to
the crime. The case was reopened in 2012.

6. Jack the Ripper

Jack the Ripper is arguably London’s most
notorious serial killer. He was active in 1888 and
his killing grounds were areas that were fairly
poor, in and around the Whitechapel district of
London. Jack the Ripper’s name comes from a
letter that was written by someone who was
claiming to be the infamous killer. Today, this
letter is considered to be a hoax but the name Jack
the Ripper stuck. Jack the Ripper is responsible
for the murder of a possible five victims. All of
these victims were working girls who had their
throats slit, before being mutilated by the Ripper.
In three cases, the Ripper even took a souvenir of
his kill, the internal organs of his victims. All of
these killings took place between the 31st of
August and the 9th of November, in 1888.
Although law enforcers worked diligently to solve
these murders, and were even sent a letter from
the killer himself (which contained a half-
preserved kidney), no one was able to discover
who Jack the Ripper actually was. Today, there
are over a hundred theories as to who the
infamous serial killer could be.

7. The February 9th Killer

The February 9 killer is a serial killer who is
believed to be responsible for the 2006 murder of
Sonia Mejia and her unborn child, and the 2008
murder of Damiana Castillo in Salt Lake City,
Utah. Both of these women were strangled in their
apartments and both of these murders were
committed on February 9 , hence the killer’s
name. The killer would get his victims to open
their doors and then force his way into their
homes. Investigators were able to link the two
cases through DNA analysis, but they weren’t
able to get a match. As a result, the case went
cold in 2011.

8. Stoneman

Stoneman is India’s most notorious serial killer.
He is believed to have committed 13 murders in
Calcutta, and a possible dozen more in Bombay.
Stoneman’s first victim was found in June of
1989. The victim was a homeless man who was
sleeping alone in a dimly lit area. He was killed
by being bashed over the head with a stone. Over
the next six months, twelve more homeless
victims would be killed in the exact same fashion.
In 1985, there were a dozen homeless people
murdered in Bombay, in the same way that would
eventually be occurring in Calcutta. This led
authorities to believe that the same person was
committing the murders, but they couldn’t be sure
that the original killings hadn’t inspired a copycat
killer. The police brought in a number of suspects
but weren’t able to charge anyone with the
murders. However, the killings came to a halt
after the suspects were brought in for questioning,
leaving many to believe that the real killer was
part of the group of suspects that the authorities
questioned.

9. The Honolulu Strangler

The Honolulu strangler is the first known serial
killer on the usually peaceful islands of Hawaii.
This killer is thought to have murdered a total of
five women in the mid-1980’s. The first victim of
The Honolulu Strangler was a 27-year-old
woman, named Vicky Gail Purdy. Her body was
found on May 30, 1985. She had been raped,
strangled and her hands were tied behind her
back. Then on January 14, 1986, The Honolulu
Strangler struck again. 17-Year-Old, Regina
Sakamoto’s body was found in the exact same
fashion that Purdy’s was. Over the course of the
next three months, three more women would be
found raped, strangled, with their hands bound
behind their backs. The police interrogated a
suspect in association with the murders. The
suspect’s girlfriend told police that, whenever the
two of them would have a lover’s spat, the
suspect would leave the house, and then The Honolulu Strangler would strike. Despite this testimony and the fact that the suspect failed a polygraph test, the police were forced to let the suspect go due to lack of evidence. However, strangely enough, the murders in Honolulu stopped right after the police brought their suspect in for questioning.

10) Charlie Chop-Off

The serial killer, Charlie Chop-Off, received his
infamous name because of the brutal way that he
chose to murder his victims. The killer had a bad
habit of stabbing young African-American boys,
and subjecting them to genital mutilation. The
killer’s first victim was an eight-year-old African-
American boy named Douglas Owen. Owen was
found on March 9, 1972 on a Manhattan rooftop.
The young boy had been stabbed 38 times and his
penis had been mutilated. Over the next year, two
other young boys would be found stabbed to death
with their joysticks removed. In 1974, the police
arrested a man named Erno Soto after he
confessed to the murder of one of Charlie Chop-
Off’s victims. However, Soto was considered to
be mentally unstable, so his testimony wasn’t
taken too seriously. In addition, a survivor of an
attack by Charlie Chop-Off could not make a
positive I.D of Erno Soto. As a result, Soto was
found to not be guilty of the heinous crimes. Even
so, the Charlie Chop-Off murders came to an
abrupt halt after Soto’s arrest, leaving police to
believe that he is still the most likely suspect.

[url]thisisafrica.me/im-homophobe-yes-im-gay/ [/url]

Nina grew up feeling
that being gay is disgusting, forbidden and
just downright wrong. But to her horror
she found herself attracted to the same
sex. Her sexual attraction to other women
made her loathe, despise and punish
herself. Find out about her struggle to
make peace with herself
“Thanks to my family, I
grew up having a
condescending attitude
towards anything that didn’t seem
“normal.” And being gay would probably be
on top of the list. I was 15 when my aunt
had come over to stay with us for a
wedding. She was changing when I
accidently walked into her room. Looking at
her half naked, beautifully symmetrical
body I let out a gasp of admiration. I
quickly checked myself, mumbled an
apology and ran out.
“I should have
been
embarrassed or
at least sorry for
invading her
privacy but I
smiled fondly, remembering the curves
of her body. I had this urge to kiss her,
touch her, but then this overwhelming
feeling of shame and disgust came over me
almost immediately. How could I feel this
way? Maybe I was mentally sick or was
being influenced by my liberal-minded
friends.”
Punishing myself
“After two years I started dating a boy,
Patrick, who all my friends found attractive
and he was really nice. I mean I liked him
but the kissing, handling and
eventually sex did nothing for me. We went
on for two years. I had become so good at
pretending to enjoy myself during sex with
him that I had convinced myself I was
straight. I would look down on
homosexuals and always had a joke ready
to demean them.
“Then I went for a trip to Mombassa with
some girlfriends. I met Cynthia, a stunner,
at a party and we hit it off. She invited me
back to her room and after a lot of drinking
we started kissing and soon we were naked
and she was making me feel sensations I
never knew existed. So that’s what good sex
felt like!
“When I got up in the morning I hated
every bone in my body and I ran out of her
hotel room and never met her again. When
I came back home I broke it off with Patrick and I was so sick with myself that I took a razor and cut my inner thigh. The prick, the rush of blood made me feel clean again.
Every time I had a thought about another
woman or the urge to act upon my
“twisted” feelings, I’d cut myself with a
blade. It was my punishment for these
seemingly “unholy” feelings.”
Alive, happy and gay

“Over the next two years my thighs had so
many cuts, you couldn’t see what my actual
skin colour anymore! One night after an
encounter with a truly awesome woman, I
came home to punish myself and cut too
deep and almost instantly the bathroom
floor was covered in my blood. I managed
to get the door opened and shouted for my
mom.
“I was taken to a hospital where I regained
consciousness after hours. The police were
there questioning my parents and after I
told them that it was my fault they left. I
came clean to my parents and as mortified
as they were, they decided to have a
daughter who is alive, happy and gay.
“I joined therapy with my parents and
learnt that being gay was not my fault or
wasn’t some disease. In time they’ve
started to accept me and I’m learning to
like and hopefully love myself for what I
am. I still have so much to go and I haven’t
come out publicly either. But I’m optimistic
that I’ll find that special someone to love,
cherish and share my life with – guilt and
damage free!”

The names and places in this story may
have been changed for privacy reasons.
This article first appeared in Kenya’s Love
Matters. It has been republished here with
their permission.
[url]Nina grew up feeling
that being gay is disgusting, forbidden and
just downright wrong. But to her horror
she found herself attracted to the same
sex. Her sexual attraction to other women
made her loathe, despise and punish
herself. Find out about her struggle to
make peace with herself
“Thanks to my family, I
grew up having a
condescending attitude
towards anything that didn’t seem
“normal.” And being gay would probably be
on top of the list. I was 15 when my aunt
had come over to stay with us for a
wedding. She was changing when I
accidently walked into her room. Looking at
her half naked, beautifully symmetrical
body I let out a gasp of admiration. I
quickly checked myself, mumbled an
apology and ran out.
“I should have
been
embarrassed or
at least sorry for
invading her
privacy but I
smiled fondly, remembering the curves
of her body. I had this urge to kiss her,
touch her, but then this overwhelming
feeling of shame and disgust came over me
almost immediately. How could I feel this
way? Maybe I was mentally sick or was
being influenced by my liberal-minded
friends.”
Punishing myself
“After two years I started dating a boy,
Patrick, who all my friends found attractive
and he was really nice. I mean I liked him
but the kissing, handling and
eventually sex did nothing for me. We went
on for two years. I had become so good at
pretending to enjoy myself during sex with
him that I had convinced myself I was
straight. I would look down on
homosexuals and always had a joke ready
to demean them.
“Then I went for a trip to Mombassa with
some girlfriends. I met Cynthia, a stunner,
at a party and we hit it off. She invited me
back to her room and after a lot of drinking
we started kissing and soon we were naked
and she was making me feel sensations I
never knew existed. So that’s what good sex
felt like!
“When I got up in the morning I hated
every bone in my body and I ran out of her
hotel room and never met her again. When
I came back home I broke it off with Patrick and I was so sick with myself that I took a razor and cut my inner thigh. The prick, the rush of blood made me feel clean again.
Every time I had a thought about another
woman or the urge to act upon my
“twisted” feelings, I’d cut myself with a
blade. It was my punishment for these
seemingly “unholy” feelings.”
Alive, happy and gay

“Over the next two years my thighs had so
many cuts, you couldn’t see what my actual
skin colour anymore! One night after an
encounter with a truly awesome woman, I
came home to punish myself and cut too
deep and almost instantly the bathroom
floor was covered in my blood. I managed
to get the door opened and shouted for my
mom.
“I was taken to a hospital where I regained
consciousness after hours. The police were
there questioning my parents and after I
told them that it was my fault they left. I
came clean to my parents and as mortified
as they were, they decided to have a
daughter who is alive, happy and gay.
“I joined therapy with my parents and
learnt that being gay was not my fault or
wasn’t some disease. In time they’ve
started to accept me and I’m learning to
like and hopefully love myself for what I
am. I still have so much to go and I haven’t
come out publicly either. But I’m optimistic
that I’ll find that special someone to love,
cherish and share my life with – guilt and
damage free!”

The names and places in this story may
have been changed for privacy reasons.
This article first appeared in Kenya’s Love
Matters. It has been republished here with
their permission.
[/url]Nina grew up feeling
that being gay is disgusting, forbidden and
just downright wrong. But to her horror
she found herself attracted to the same
sex. Her sexual attraction to other women
made her loathe, despise and punish
herself. Find out about her struggle to
make peace with herself
“Thanks to my family, I
grew up having a
condescending attitude
towards anything that didn’t seem
“normal.” And being gay would probably be
on top of the list. I was 15 when my aunt
had come over to stay with us for a
wedding. She was changing when I
accidently walked into her room. Looking at
her half naked, beautifully symmetrical
body I let out a gasp of admiration. I
quickly checked myself, mumbled an
apology and ran out.
“I should have
been
embarrassed or
at least sorry for
invading her
privacy but I
smiled fondly, remembering the curves
of her body. I had this urge to kiss her,
touch her, but then this overwhelming
feeling of shame and disgust came over me
almost immediately. How could I feel this
way? Maybe I was mentally sick or was
being influenced by my liberal-minded
friends.”
Punishing myself
“After two years I started dating a boy,
Patrick, who all my friends found attractive
and he was really nice. I mean I liked him
but the kissing, handling and
eventually sex did nothing for me. We went
on for two years. I had become so good at
pretending to enjoy myself during sex with
him that I had convinced myself I was
straight. I would look down on
homosexuals and always had a joke ready
to demean them.
“Then I went for a trip to Mombassa with
some girlfriends. I met Cynthia, a stunner,
at a party and we hit it off. She invited me
back to her room and after a lot of drinking
we started kissing and soon we were naked
and she was making me feel sensations I
never knew existed. So that’s what good sex
felt like!
“When I got up in the morning I hated
every bone in my body and I ran out of her
hotel room and never met her again. When
I came back home I broke it off with Patrick and I was so sick with myself that I took a razor and cut my inner thigh. The prick, the rush of blood made me feel clean again.
Every time I had a thought about another
woman or the urge to act upon my
“twisted” feelings, I’d cut myself with a
blade. It was my punishment for these
seemingly “unholy” feelings.”
Alive, happy and gay

“Over the next two years my thighs had so
many cuts, you couldn’t see what my actual
skin colour anymore! One night after an
encounter with a truly awesome woman, I
came home to punish myself and cut too
deep and almost instantly the bathroom
floor was covered in my blood. I managed
to get the door opened and shouted for my
mom.
“I was taken to a hospital where I regained
consciousness after hours. The police were
there questioning my parents and after I
told them that it was my fault they left. I
came clean to my parents and as mortified
as they were, they decided to have a
daughter who is alive, happy and gay.
“I joined therapy with my parents and
learnt that being gay was not my fault or
wasn’t some disease. In time they’ve
started to accept me and I’m learning to
like and hopefully love myself for what I
am. I still have so much to go and I haven’t
come out publicly either. But I’m optimistic
that I’ll find that special someone to love,
cherish and share my life with – guilt and
damage free!”

The names and places in this story may
have been changed for privacy reasons.
This article first appeared in Kenya’s Love
Matters. It has been republished here with
their permission.