Ladies,

Relax, girls.

Just pulling your legs,

No need to be hostile,

Its friday, I think I'm allowed some not so 'artistic' liberties

Maybe you was thinking in the same line with Chris Rock,

He doesn't hit women, but he shakes the rubbish out of them


Now how do you shake a woman who is twice your body weight. Cos anyone Chris Rock is able to shake the shit out of must have bulemia or anorexia or whatever it is that people who don't eat have.

Shit,

they are both female  

My bad,

but who said females can not indulge in mutual shining of congo with each other.

at the 2 in a maryland computer room

you guys are next to each other, and you are busy having internet beef.

shouldn't you be indulging in something more interesting and mutually more pleasurable like 'congo shining'

make love not internet beef.

who said rotational pressure didn't involve twist round the back, one has to take some kind of masochistic pleasure in restraining someone whose flipped their lid. Just like the police always seem to use excessive force to restrain suspect, even those that ain't resisting . Don't worry though, nothing that dramatic from moi.

Me <=== Lover, not correction officer

iice,

I know what you saying, but sometimes you got to apply a bit of rotational pressure on that arm, so as to increase the velocity with which calmness arrives. Keyword here is to vary the degree of the twist to the degree of the red mist that is upon the said assailant.

BTW, ain't you a female? do you restrain your men this way or have you been restrained in the said manner, you seem to know a lot on the topic

The urge to 'shine congo' is an irresistible force.

Unfortunately there are no absolute rights and wrongs in the matters of the heart, so my advice to participants in any extra marital/curricular activities is to 'carry go'

But, be adviced that there will be repercussions and consequences for all parties involved. Some will end up been happier than when they started, some will end up eternally more miserable. But 'nothing spoil' sha, enjoy it while it last.


Me <== Does not judge anyone on issues on how, what, if, when, why and who people roll in the hay with.

My advice to the young lady who was raped is to go to the 'big' church where the pastor is plying his trade. Do a testimony, reveal all, initially don't mention names, but promise the raping pastor that God has indeed forgiven him on the condition that he subjects himself to a public confession, impose a time limit within which this confession must be acheived. And promise to name names if this is not done as you will be doing the culprit aa favour by confessing his sin for him.

Then sit back and watch the unfolding drama, should be fun

Hey Nameless,

Listen girl, don't go around beating yourself blue and black with Guilt because you think you are doing something wrong. Think for a moment, how wrong can it be when the person you are doing it is the Pastor. Wouldn't you think the pastor would know better.

Does he feel guilty about it? Could it be that he knows something that you don't, hence his lack of guilt. he more than anyone should know the consequenses of your 'pre congo-shining' escapades, if he is not bothered about that, then you shouldn't, he is the leader, just follow his lead. Especially since you know deep down that you want to.

Anyway sha, why don't you 2 just get it over with and just 'chop the yam', cause the earlier you do it, the quicker he'll want to move on. Most likely though, he'll flip the script on you and claim that the devil used you to tempt him to commit sin, so 'diafor' he doesn't want any kind of interaction with you anymore to protect himself from sin.

Then you can continue been a 'virgin' again, get 'reborn again' and watch in the wings as he takes his congo somewhere ellse to shine.

Pastors' lives is the Dog's Bollocks.

I've met some that can kiss your rocks off,

I've met some that kiss like a fish out of water,

I've met non-Nigerians that can kiss for shit either,

Methinks a good kiss is in the mouth of the beholder,

Some prefer their kiss wet and sloppy,

some prefer a little bite on the lips,

some prefer their tongue sucked,

Maybe someone should deconstruct the nuances of a good kiss.

So I guess its cool for a woman to raise her hand and slap a guy, because most women are quite quick on the draw over any real or perceive slight to their being.

My ex was a sharpshooter, before you can say 'clint eastwood' I would ear 'gbosa' on my face. Initially, I let it go cos I was always mostly in the wrong in those arguements. But regardless of what caused the disagreement, no one has any justification to hit another person; male or female. So I decided to put a stop to that shit, the last time she 'tried' to slap me, I caught her arm in mid air and twisted the shit out of it, very sadistic - I know, but I had her under control, applied pressure as I saw fit and when I had twisted the fight out of her, I let her go and told her if she tried it again, its the same treatment.

We went out for 2 more years totally violence free. I can still honestly say till today that I've never hit a woman before. No need to.

Its quite simple really.

You got NO GAME.

Seriously though, you probably go around thinking that because 'you' think you look good that girls you automatically fall in line and queue for you attention. Wrong.

This has nothing to do with whether you have money either, cos if you are a rich jerk, you are still a jerk regardless, some girls can stand a rich jerk, most girls won't.

So it comes down to your personality, are you charming? can you keep a decent conversation and keep it interesting, are you a good listener and can you carress a woman's ego? which means - can you LIE.

No point going to a woman and saying ' you are on ugly looking sister, but can you go out with me? cos I haven't had a nookie in yonks?' just becaause you wanna be honest. you better off saying something like ' Am I the only one that see that you are one of the most beautiful women alive, am I the only one matured to see your inner beauty so radiant and captivating that I'm totally at loss for words'.

One other thing, be confident. Say what you wanna say like you meant to say it. Sometimes it might get you a slap, but you'll be suprised how many times you'll get away with vulgarities if you say it like you actually mean it. A lot of girls like that.


PS - To everyone reading this post, a mandatory consultation fee is applicable and is due immediately.

Thanks

If one believes in miracles then you by default have to believe in witchcraft, juju, voodoo, jazz, bendel insurance, ijebu protection or whatever nomenclature you like.

To every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

So if there are in angels, holy spirits and cherubims and serabooms then you do know that they will be invalidated if there are no demons for them to protect you from.

Personally, I'm not bothered, I believe in neither.

I love this pastor guy, for real, talk about having your cake and eating it at the same time. Imagine how many low self esteem young women hang around churches waiting and wanting to be exploited by these so called men of God.

Not only do they get rich of these so called flock, they get thier 'congo shined' too, where most guys have to pay to get thiers shined.

I've not met anyone in a relationship they don't one to be in. People make justifications for themselves on why they remain in a dodgy relationship because deep down they know they can't live without it, regardless of how abusive and unproductive it is.

So I say to madam, if paddles your boat, then keep sailing and to oga pastor - rock that boat, you are performing a service to the community, imagine how miserable some of these women will be without your special attention.