billynoni:
She's actually making sense if we look at it from another angle

ah, wic kind making sense be dis one?? How wuld she gv birth if she's a virgin?? Abi she wan turn 2 anoda mary ni...

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1.One Enugu Girl asked me today, have you watched "OTELE MMA UDO"it took me 35mins to know she was talking about "TELEMUNDO"
2.*Just because he called and say "Sleep like a baby my love"*doesnt mean u must Urinate on the bed.
3.Thank God body Part can't be borrowed if not u will be hearing tins like Ugonna Blessing borrow me ur breast, you know say ma own don fall finish.
4.Jesus Feed 5000 people and died a Virgin, Ordinary meat pie u bought for her, U are asking Sex, Sex kee u there.
5.Naija girls sef
Me:Can I have ur number please?
Girl :are u working
Me :No
Girl:Ok 0930174939
Me:it's not Working ooo
Girl:Just like u it is not working too.
6.How old Were you when you realize that "PANTS" mean "Private Pants Need tight security?
7.Woman Cheats in a marriage the husband will beat her, Man Cheats ,the wife will beat the side Chick. Women Una don Suffer.
8.Pain is when you are playing truth or dare in a party and u are dared to leave the party.
9.Some girls will plait hair and their forehead will be shining as if they are using solar energy energy.
10.My brother Stop asking a girl If she's Single If u like her Join the queue. The Winner will be announced later. .
11.WHAT WAS YOUR GREATER SURPRISE THIS YEAR?
My Greatest Surprise was when I saw one Enugu girl drinking palm wine with bread .
12 Did you take meat from the pot?
AMERICAN:No
NIGERIAN:meee?meat?pot?when?where?how?.
13.I pray that my children Never do that "Satanism ritual of dipping bread In tea .
14.Dating Someone 's man Or lady, it's like driving a government Vehicle Which will never be urs.
15.His snoring Irritates you now, but when u were still in love with him u were tempted to record it and used as ur ringtone.
16.If u see me blushing alone Just know that I'm with my imaginary girlfriend
17.Every girl has that jean that makes her ass looks good even though she has flat ass.
18.Dont envy People
Not everybody walking fast has an appointment, some are having running stomach.
19.u post on facebook, friends pls pray for me I'm Very sick, then u get 800+ likes, and u think they prayed for you,no my friend 800+ people just like ur sickness, u can't recover.
20.A lady with big boobs enters a bus. She had a rosary cross between her boobs. The man besides her could not help staring, knowing the guy has been staring at her boobs for 15 mins, d lady asked "Are you looking at Jesus On the cross ?
The guy then smiled and answered, "No am actually looking at the two thieves besides him"

Girl:baby am pregnant
Boy: the Airtel subscriber you are trying to reach does nt exist...
Girl: baby am serious about this..
Boy: the Airtel subscriber you are trying to reach does nt exist
Girl: baby this is a great opportunity for us, dad said I should take my boyfriend with me to the United States next week...
Boy: are you serious
Girl: no, the MTN subscriber you are talking to is right outside your house with two police officers
ODE!!!

1.6th round you are still shouting harder harder,, you think dick come with power bank abi!!!!
2.*WHAT IS GIRLFRIEND*NOW:Girlfriend is Additional of problems, Subtraction of Money , Destiny destroyers, Multiplication of enemies and Division of friends. Am done God help men.
3.Valentine is here again, when short girls will wear red gown and be looking like fire extinguisher
4.I don't mind getting HIV from Aba because I know it's fake.
5.this Valentine's Day I want to surprise my girlfriend by showing her my real girlfriend
.
6.Men are the best cooks ever!! Imagine feeding a woman with 2 eggs, a small piece of banana and some milk ',satisfy her for almost the whole year?
Men am I lying?
7.What's up bae, when are u coming for ur val's day gift? *this statement has produced lot of babies and will still produce some this year.
8.If she post, WHAT I SURVIVED MIGHT KILL YOU "Just know that the abortion was successful. yeeee who stone me.
9.I think my neighbor Just brought another gal
home, because this is not how his girlfriend
use to "moan"lemme goan borrow Maggi.
10.Send me money *is where men loose 80% interest in a lady. True or false.
11.If u won't give him sex, atleast send him airtime so that he can download porn and Bleep himself.
12.Some # Guys don't really know their Girlfriend
face, because they are dating # make up promoters.
13.All u married women that will see a pretty lady standing under a very hot sun and refuse to give her a lift, don't worry, ur husband is coming to pick her.
14.Bet9ja will break guys heart they will still forgive and play again But ur woman will do small thing,u tight ur mind like lucky dude dread.
# why
15.Just becos of a fine # Usher Girl u now drop all ur # money in the tray. Now u are looking for a lift. Oga trek jor.
16.Dating ur course mate is just like adding another course to ur course *
*if u know u know *
17.One boring thing about about marriage is that u will be fucking one woman till u die.
18.My girlfriend broke my heart ....right now I feel like dying after dying I kill myself.
19.Those guys that kiss a gal Without touching her ass don't u like rice and stew.
20.A Jealous girlfriend can even look at ur calendar and ask who is July?

Driver Abu is being
interrogated after an accident …
Policeman: So Massa how did you end up killing 49 people?
Abu: I was driving @80km/h when I saw 2 men
crossing the road. On the other side, a wedding was taking place. I hit the brakes but they failed,so I had to make a choice:
Either i hit the 2 men or run into the wedding party.
Policeman: Hit the 2 men of course!
Abu: exactly! We think alike but after hitting one, the other man escaped into the wedding party, so I went after him..

when village pple are standing on ur record file it happens dis way oooo, may God jst help pesin...