₦airaland Forum

ON LIVING ALONE

Living alone has been everyone's dream since they started growing hair in their local government area
(you know the place na), but there are 3 reasons i can think of why people live alone.
1. people are waiting for the right time before getting married
2. those who didn't wait for the right time before getting married are getting divorced in droves.
3. maybe there are more people who can't find anyone to live with
i have lived alone before running back to my parents house, so i know a thing or two about living alone
Advantages of living alone are
1. you can leave your underwear lying around
2. there is never any argument on what to watch on television , especially if you have family members addicted to zee world.
3. you can invite your bae over without your mom and siblings putting their eyes and ears at the crack of your door to see what you are doing
4.no need to lie to anyone that you are going to night vigil just to go to the club to be bending girls yansh
5. there's no one to wake you up at 4am for morning devotion and no one to force you to go to church on Sunday.
I could go on and on but those are the highlight , you can add your own below.
ok slow down and wait a minute, before you think of putting your clothes in Ghana must go bag and giving your siblings and parents the middle finger, remember i told you that i went back right here's why.
in case you don't know i am young but legally old enough to own a drivers license and vote out buhari in the next election that's if pdp bring a better candidate not atiku that i am hearing i mean cant we stop recycling and bring someone new. i have been living on popsy's pocket and i was tired ( i was working as a photographer) so i rented a room, kitchen and parlor apartment, these are the problem i faced.
your padis bringing chicks to bang in your house, playing hide and seek with landlord over house rent, trying to avoid that soldiers wife that has been eying you since, the only food you have time to cook is indomie, being scared at night when you hear noise in the parlor, you can't bribe your siblings to help you wash your clothes, nepa bill, water bill, fuel, maintenance bill, security bill, your can't borrow your moms car, .
I don't mean to frighten you guys, the important thing is waiting for the right time and not rushing life, let me drop my pen joor, i can smell the afang soup my mom is cooking let me see if i can be able to sneak three meat from the pot without being detected , i think i will bury the meat in my eba.

RANDOM TAUGHTS

1.INDOMIE
My name is fecta, i live in Lagos state, Ikorodu to be precise ,the place where human beings are killed like chickens and the government turn their buttocks at our faces and acts like they don't know what's happening.
Nigeria is still in shock after raping Argentina in the friendly match, but no one got shocked more than my friend Theopilus, the poor boy bet 15000 naira that Argentina will win, after losing his money he said it was because messi was not there, i agree with him 100% that's if we carry those goalkeepers that cannot even stand in monkey post.
Anyway i did not come here to talk about killings or football, I came here to talk about something just as important
INDOMIE , yeah you heard me right I-N-D-O-M-I-E
aka instant noodles, aka live saver ,aka the only thing slay mamas can cook.
I have come across different people who have different way of cooking indomie, I went to one of my guys house the other day( he lives in his father's house, it's not bad, so do I), so i asked the guy to cook indomie for me and he told me he doesn't like it but he prepared it for me sha, you guys need to see this indomie the guy cooked, it was as white as snow, no wonder he does not like indomie .
so i am going to help you guys that can't cook indomie with this simple recipe
FECTA 2.0 INDOMIE RECIPE
Things you need
BASIC LEVEL
Boiled water, Indomie 3 pack (duh), pepper (it must be plenty), Tomato
onions and handkerchief (to wipe your tears of joy away)
groundnut oil Mamador, power oil etc or groundnut OYIL ( they are not the same thing oh ).
PRO
egg, geisha (am not sure about the spelling), carrot , peas, chicken

PROCEDURES
soak the indomie in kerosene
pull it out and blend it or pound it with mortar and pestle
add the pepper and tomatoes without slicing it
chew the onion
put the oil in the pot and add water
pour the mixture inside
crack the egg and keep only the shell put don't put it inside yet
add the geisha
chew the carrot
swallow the peas and put the handkerchief in your pocket

your family members will start to shout at you by now
don't panic just exhale in their face they will run (that's if you ate the onions as instructed )
fry the chicken
best served cold
your family members will carry you to yaba left but don't worry when you get there tell the psychiatric doctor you want to call your lawyer
pull out the handkerchief and pretend it's a phone
am sure they will let you go.

This is my first time creating a topic on nairaland, so i will try to keep it updated.
RANDOM THOUGHTS is just me writing down the stupid thoughts that come to my head.
i will appreciate corrections and positive criticism, so lets go.
oh wait let me put this even if i do not know the meaning
Cc Obinnau
Cc Divepen1
Cc lalasticlala