This is too embarrassing please. We blacks…the world is moving at a great pace with fresh and innovative inventions, and we are announcing street lights? No.

Gwin007:
Good day nairalanders.. please I need advice on what to do.. am married with three kids, 5, 3 , and a year old.. I own a bussines.. but for now my bussines is down, the has been very good and lucrative.. but due to lack of capital to invest more on it. It was now shaking.. but the thing now is that.. I have the capital to invest on the bussines.. but now am saying should relocate abroad with the money and leave my 3kids and wife back home or invest on the bussines.. cus am traveling with a tourist visa and it’s a Europe country and I don’t how long it will take to get my papers over there please Nairaland I really need ur opinion not make future mistakes

Thanks

Please please please do not do this. I’ve seen lots of Nigerian without papers here in America and life is rough! The imagery many have of abroad is a snare.

Without the right papers you will be working in very very low paying jobs, with potential abuse because you have no legal protection. With that low paying job you will have to pay rent, phone bill, transportation, food. I haven’t included electricity and water because some apartments sometimes cover that.

You will have very little to send home. This process will take minimum about 10 years, if you are hustling legally. Within those years your children are growing up without a strong father figure, and your wife is over hustling. The world is rough, your kids need guidance, not a hope of Europe or America. They will not know you. You can’t get home because you are not legal. You will be depressed.

The solution you will be tempted with is to marry someone over there. You have just broken your marriage vows. God cannot bless that. You will not be the same man that left Nigeria. The intimacy with your wife will diminish, if not disappear. And all for what? Because you were looking for gold in a barren land.

Poverty can make you do things you never expected. You will be in that Europe and yes, it is pretty and nice but you will not feel it, because you are working like a dog to make ends meet.

Not to talk of how little you will feel as a black man without the covering of money to protect you from racism.

Please take that 5,000,000 Naira and apply it to your business at home. Be patient and write out how you can use it efficiently. That mental peace you have as a father and husband will be a maximum support.

Another thing people don’t tell you. Relationships are cold over here. Not that you can’t find other Nigerians to connect with, but man people are too busy.

I hope you really listen to this. It is not worth it. Invest your money there, grow it, then you can consider moving as a student way later. You and your wife can accomplish much together.

Sofistcatdmoron:
A woman that loves her man can not do that,
Women loves with emotions,
But a man can have sex with many oloshos, but that doesn't stop him from loving his wife

That is a lie. A habitual cheating man will and usually grows to despise his wife. Why? Because her presence makes him feel bad. To counter he starts blaming her for everything he can, and subjugates her more. Her food will have problems, how she responded will be problematic, how she dresses…anything to justify why she is not enough. The poor woman will run herself crazy trying to please him and blame herself…everyone will tell her what to correct, not knowing it’s not even about her.

A cheating man’s house doesn’t have peace or joy. A lot of people are lying to themselves here. The more you cheat the colder your heart gets.

BigJoe19:
It's very obvious you are a talkative, the way you just kept on writing unnecessary things showed it, some men are really trying. You provide but you are a big baggage of trouble.

Interesting how you are so biased that even with her husband basically destroying his family, all you can see is a bad woman.

hardasan:
In a society where many men refuse to be in sexless relationships and they will rather die than wait for sex after marriage, those same men lack every moral and spiritual right to condem this.

The child didn't make itself, the father of the child failed the mother and the child. From the description, we can see that the child wasn't born in a hospital, otherwise it won't have the cord, it was most likely born by its mother alone in an uncompleted building or a Bush.

For the child to be 8 to 9 months, it's mother tried to feed and care for it. It must have died from infections arising from its improper birth, lack of proper vaccination and poor living conditions. Looks like its mother is very young and broke, otherwise she should have even known that she has to cut the cord close to the child not close to herself.

Her father must have thrown her out of his house when he realized she was pregnant to avoid the stigma and shame.

I'll bet money that the mother is a teenager......... team 15 to 22yrs old virgin f*ckers oya come and do DNA to know which of you fathered this child.

Every one of you cursing her should first ask yourself if you have a child who somehow ended up like that.
Una wey sabi f*ck and ghost.

#Hypocrites

Thank you!
A bunch of hypocrites! They will condemn her and a few minutes later go and have sex with a woman they don’t intend to marry. Who are they soiling her for? Her future husband?
They likely have asked a woman to abort, ghosted a woman they were tired of after using her, looking for the next woman to be a girlfriend etc all while throwing stones at the female gender for not being chaste and lady like.

Bunch of hypocrites and dead people walking. If they saw that same woman with child, they would condemn her! White washed tombstones! They are the ones Jesus was talking about.

Full of righteousness anger yet filled with lustful desires.

This God they call on to judge another is quietly writing their sins in a book.

doggedfighter:
What did they even eat ?

Is it that one plate and two bottles of beer in front of her ?

And the guy shinning his teeth is the guy ?
Does he know the damage to his person and reputation?
Or he doesn't just care ?

This recent craze to hurt women at all costs will make people end up hurting themselves.

It’s really sad. Our men are really developing deep hatred for women. This sort of vitriol will only lead to much pain at older age and cold hearts; everyone acting from childhood or relational trauma!

tonywonder:
I am a legally married woman with no child and My marriage is 15 years. I reside in Lagos.

I am not the type of woman that monitors or interfere in my husband business or his staffs. Though I know some of the staffs but not much closeness.

7 years ago 4 youths corps served at my husband office but one lady among the 4 corps member was later retained and employed as a secretary to the director who is my husband.

Though my husband told me when his secretary wanted to do her wedding at Port Harcourt 4 years ago. I didn't go but being my husband staff, he went with some of his friends. Less than a year after the wedding the Secretary gave birth to twins. I even went to visit her at home in gbagada, Lagos with gifts for the new babies then. When I asked for her husband I was told he is out of the country. I never knew I was being fooled.

December 22, last year, the Secretary gave birth to another baby in a private hospital where my immediate sister got employed less than 3 months as an accountant. It was my sister that witnessed everything and told me.

The lady I thought is just a secretary is my husband-wife. The wedding the Secretary did in port Harcourt then was between her and my husband. The twins she gave birth to then and the new baby she just put to birth are my husband children. The house I went to visit her in gbagada was bought to her by my husband with a saloon car.

My husband didn't deny it when I confronted him. Even his parents and siblings all knew about it. I didn't know I was in darkness for years.

I am still in the shock because all is still like a dream to me. I asked him of my offensee to have punished me that way but he said I did nothing wrong.

Now I fully believe men are evil and their place is hell.

Since that the whole secret was exposed I have been mentally sick and disturbed. My heart is wild now, and at any time I can do and undo.

What should I do?

https://www.facebook.com/100003745537262/posts/pfbid02bf6qynCVjDVQhVc5UwURf7Ri9JH1LAvDuM34Z7pxfvkhfdg4XAPhEjhWs8jPgX1Nl/?mibextid=wPBFeM

This is painful and right now your sense of betrayal is real. No one can tell you what to do with your marriage because no one will live your life for you after a divorce but pause and consider.

Your husband likely took in this woman because you are barren. He couldn’t tell you because I’m sure he has seen your grief at barrenness and likely all the medical procedures and intense self condemnation you have put yourself through. He has a heart. There is likely in his opinion no way he would not be subjecting you to further pain if he told you he is taking another woman to wife, simply because no matter how he words it, the reason would be because you are barren.

Understandably.

But your pain is still very real. You feel you are displaced in the eyes of family and no matter what that other woman will have the respect going forward.

You can either move out or submit to whatever he has done. He needed children and most Nigerians will not adopt as a solution.

In the years before you knew of this has your husband treated you kindly or the same? Was he harsh? The answer will let you know what your future is like.

I don’t know what I would do but you can be sure your marriage has changed. Trust has been broken. He should have told you earlier and worked with you if possible.

Nonexisting1:
You will not give him children, he brought in someone who has done what you haven't been able to do even in a greater measure. Twins who are probably boys no be beans. He even respected you enough by putting the egg laying hen very far away from you. Now you, the old hen who probably damaged your womb with abortions are planning to do and undo. Okay then.

Your words are very unkind. Be careful because God is still a righteous judge. You don’t know why she is barren. Yet you have already accused her of vile things. Learn compassion and don’t be quick to judge harshly. One day you will need kindness too.

Humblelion1987:
Good morning nairaland family, please I have a serious issue which I need your advice.
I met my fiancee 1st March 2022 and everything clicked, within few weeks, we are like people who have been together for years because we share many things in common, we are birthday mates, we like the same food, we are practically like twins. I work as a Key account manager in charge of my region in one of the leading multinational company here in Nigeria, why she works as an RN(registered nurse) in one of the top private hospital in the state I base too. I will be 33yrs by September while she will be 25years the same date and month. We are supposed to get married by May this year because am ready and she is ready too, but the parents have been frustrating me, one that am not from there state, we passed through that phase and fixed our traditional wedding next month, the mum and her people now came up with another issue that she must travel abroad before getting married, even when I have tried convincing them that I can't prevent there daughter from traveling even after marriage because I have been nursing same ambition too.

When I met my fiancee, she has been doing bad in her ihealth exams not until I came into her life. I have purchased the form three times in a space of 6 months plus her form for CBT and I do practically everything for my woman. Since we met, she doesn't touch her salary, she doesn't stress herself much about house duties, both washing, cooking and other things because as a bachelor, those are the things I enjoyed doing. I love her so much and she love me too, but am totally confused on what to do as the parents have said point blank that she can only get married when she travels to UK.

She had a serious fight with the parents last night and the mum even called me and told me that if I can't abide by there rules, I should forget about there daughter. Am the only son and my parents are not aware of the situation.

I don't know there problem because as a young man, I leave in a comfortable bungalow, drives good car outside my official car and equally employed one of her siblings on a temporary project am running for my office, which they both earn 60k monthly.

Please I need advise on how to go about this as I have two options in my mind. Should I move on and forget all the money I have spent so far or should I stand by my fiancee who loves me so much and finish the fight?

First
Please men stop overdoing things for a woman that is not yet your wife! You look desperate and can be easily taken advantage of.

Dating doesn’t have to mean exposing all and showing everyone every hand you can play. Leave some things for your wife!!

Why are you suddenly buying all her forms, and sponsoring everything? I don’t mean to be rude but as the only son don’t you have responsibilities in your family? Don’t start something you can’t maintain in marriage o. Marriage is partnership, is it going to be your habit to sponsor everything until you die? You don’t have to show manhood and court with money.

Because you have started that, things are cloudy for you. You can’t even tell if they are using you. Please don’t sponsor a girlfriend to the UK, sponsor a wife and only if that is what is beneficial as discussed between you and your wife. See that your future mother in law, you are opening a door to control.

I would call off the wedding and regroup. I would take sometime to think. Let things clear up a bit. You will learn a lot on a break. Stop being or appearing desperate. Marriage is a life long affair.

(I’m female)

You have a right to concern. Most people here don’t understand marriage and treat their wives or understand their wives through lenses of antagonism, rivalry. God never blesses such and many times after the man dies those left behind struggle deeply. I was married, my name is on everything, he died…I’m managing everything the best I can for our children.

It’s a shame when men don’t realize their role as divider AND protector. How do you protect your wife and family after death if you exclude them from properties? We will all die. We like to think we will be old, but death can come earlier. In addition, many don’t have wills.

From the responses here we have a society where the meaning of marriage is lost to many. Wives are treated as the enemy and property, and with this, trust, respect, and companionship will not be enjoyed in that home. Instead, because there is an inner need for intimacy within every human being, a man will seek that outside not realizing that he as the head contributes to what he lacks inside his home. God’s order is from the head down. If the head leads wrongly his house will suffer, now and fatter his death.

You have a right as a wife, not a servant or girlfriend or mistress to want to be included on that land. Marriage is not your thing or my thing or my money or your money. It is the two shall be one. Anything that is not in line with that commandment opens the door to the fruit of rebellion and disobedience; strive, distrust, cheating, disunity etc. look at what his actions have sprouted in your family; accusations, pain, distrust.

The seed has been planted by the head. Just be wise going forward. Tell him why you feel the way you do and if he still doesn’t care, slowly get your own assets just in case.

It’s sad.

benjackugo:


https://igberetvnews.com/1445157/saint-obis-marriage-took-away-friends-acting-zik-zulu/

This friend writing doesn’t know anything, neither do we. When there is grief people find someone to blame. He had surgery, that means something in him needed mending. People get sick and die. How can a bad marriage lead to surgery? People have bad marriages everyday in every part of the world.

It’s so easy in Nigeria to blame the spouse -especially a wife - for death. That is the most convenient way to assuage grief.

No one knows what transpired in that marriage. An introvert can be a bad person. A man or woman can be great to their friends, yet a terrible husband or wife because those relationships ignite different responses/passions.

No one knows why he was called a gold digger. What if he was the one who stopped his acting and asked the wife for money? What if he was constantly asking her for money?

His friend is advertising him in a bad light; like a weakling. He chose to not invite his friends to the wedding, he chose not to tell them about his wife before he even married. Why? Maybe he begun to look down on them because through his wife he thought he was not in their class? No one knows anything!

There is nothing in this story that really tells us anything, except the friend writing lost touch and really was not part of the deceased new life. All we learnt from this was he had an unhappy marriage, divorced and is in court for his kids. And this is a scenario playing out in hundreds of homes everyday.

herbert2017:
She and Apc are falsehood, she can never be an assistant Pastor, I don't know the Bishop, but I bear witness in my spirit she is lying.
False witness and testimony against the Servant of God is wickedness, remember you will give account to God.

The Bible has clearly given directions on how to judge a case; we must get witnesses (evidence)
To avoid human bias and emotions it doesn’t instruct us to judge by “witness in my spirit.” The human spirit is strong and can claim falsely it is The Holy Spirit talking.

By two or three witnesses a matter is decided. The woman has mentioned names and places. Those should and will be investigated and submitted as due process.

Noblegraphix20:
Thank God you found out b4 marriage..
But he will change.. U can also help him to change by praying and also by satisfying him in the ozza room..
Because you can't stop him from hanging out with his males friends

No he will not. Please don’t make the mistake of marrying him.

ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

Shame on you for how you treated your mother. Shame on you. The woman that gave birth to you, you sent away at her moment of need because of a wife? You couldn’t put your foot down to protect your mother.

And so it is. To save your marriage tell your wife that you will not allow her mother in your house. She can send money to her as needed. Why? Because no matter what anyone tells you you will resent your wife if her mother lives with you. You already hold resentment for yourself, by how you let your mother down.

Nia69:
We've been friends since 2021. She acts clingy, I don't like it, but I've been enduring it so I won't hurt her feelings. I've told her more than twice, but she doesn't stop.

Don’t mind people saying you are a lesbian, their minds are in the gutter.
Yes, a friend can be clingy and as an introvert it can be heavy for you.
There is no easy way to do this, you will end up hurting her.

You will have to gradually do less with her. At school hang with other friends. When she wants to do something tell her you have a commitment with another friend and can’t.

Don’t answer her messages immediately she text. Give short answers and at long durations. Don’t be emotionally and tell her how great a friend she is or how much you want the friendship.

She will be hurt and yes, sadly, it might end. The imbalance is within her. She’s allowing herself to be codependent because she has no other friends. She also is not being fair to you to emotionally make you feel you need to be nice to her as you are the only one that “gets her.”

Bottom line is you are going to hurt her. The only thing that will make her happy is feeding and appreciating her clinginess and that’s not fair to you.

This is also good for you as you will recognize the clingy cues next time a friend starts on that. Immediately you notice it put that distance. None of this means being rude but let them know there are other matters in your life that doesn’t include them.

Clinginess can be toxic.

Since Nigerians don’t perform autopsy we will run around and talk about enemies and demons. That way we sound so educated.

This might be a simple case of carbon monoxide poisoning, food poisoning. But what do we know. We don’t like to investigate, that’s too complex. We need to fast and pray more against our enemies. Smh.

She looks like one of those shy, simple, trusting girls. Very good and giving. Innocent.

She probably lost her virginity to the guy, was wholeheartedly in love. But to many people it can be emotionally too much. The expectation such people will have on you, you can never meet up…or you feel you can’t.

They can also be boring a bit too.

I think it is a case of she was more into him than he was into her. She adored him. Her one true love. Once he betrayed her that was it. She felt used and tossed aside. It can be hard to overcome.

But usually that emotional weakness is from a childhood fracture.

Sad. May her soul Rest In Peace.

Please let’s be sensitive to each other. If you know you are in a relationship in which you just aren’t feeling it, exit before it gets too deep. Don’t talk yourself into it. Don’t feel guilty you want to walk because “the girl or guy is good and everyone says that.” They might be great! But not for you.

vickydevoka:

But your are right o. My neighbor's husband died when the kids are little, omo na 3 three cultist and 2 single mothers they all grew up to be

So after mourning her dead husband she should have killed her kids or spent time looking for a man, since the key to greatness is a man. Let’s not worry about all the toxic people walking around Nigeria because their father’s abused their mom, spent his money outside the house, and was highly absent in the name of work.

Sometimes I wonder how we think.

We should only use facts that are backed by data. Gather a room of cultists from any school, classify them according to single mom homes and mom and dad homes. Then can you say what you are saying. But you and I know that many young ruffians comes from coupled homes.

Please single moms in this platform, and widowed. You are doing ok and valuable to God. If you need a role model for your children, there are resources to help. Put don’t let any negative thought influence you to think you are rubbish.

I am in real estate but in the investment/development side; build, rehab, property management. It is rewarding BUT for women you can easily be taken advantage of (think of a woman and a car mechanic). My area is male dominated as 100% of the contractors I work with are male. The following are the observed stressors:

1. They automatically think you don't know anything and will quote you ridiculous prices.
2. Their ego struggles with taking instructions from a woman or that she is visibly writing a check.
3. Some want to approach the relationship like they are "saving the female." Beware and don't allow this. It never ends well.

Solutions:
1. Be very very thick skinned.
2. Know a little bit of everything about the trades.
3. Don't take the tantrums seriously and be prepared to let someone go if you have to.
4. Don't bring in one contractor to do everything. Get quotes for different areas of the build. Foundation, framing, electrical, plumbing, mechanical, sheetrocking, floors, kitchen, bathrooms, tile etc etc. The danger of bringing in one person is if he is the one bringing in all the trades and later you need to let him go, likely you are losing all the other trades. You need more control of the process.
5. Don't let the relationship be too familiar. Don't get sucked into a box of being saved. No one is a friend.

I've decided to go back to school to learn residential construction. Overall and so far, I love it but need to be even more prepared now i've noticed what i have to deal with.

wowmenow:


You just write everything in my mind when we here abusive relationship we only look at the men part of it.

The gospel singer that died more information is coming out on how the husband caught her cheating with another gospel artist frank Edward.

So? People cheat all over the world and will continue until Christ comes. It’s not right and it hurts, but there are sane recourses like divorce. Constant torture and death will never be justified.

And who is to say this is not a lie. Most Nigerian men know that all you have to do is label a woman a cheat and the stones will fly, whether true or not. Now they are going to label the dead a cheat, to work a case to justify the Nigerian man who they are secretly similar to, because a lot of Nigerian men emotionally and physically abuse their wives or belief in their core that the female is of lesser value and deserves to be broken in some way.

You don't care about her. If you did none of this would be about you.

Think about it. Someone you claim to love is uncomfortable and feeling bad about something, in this case intimacy. She felt safe enough to tell you its affecting her relationship with God, and that the only solution is marriage (completely biblical)

You claim to love her. Wouldn't wanting her comfortable and happy be your priority? Shouldn't you want to protect her? why would you be asking for advise on how to change the situation? Let's say you make her fall again and have continual sex. So, you are happy, but she is guilt ridden and unhappy. Is that the sort of relationship you want, the foundation you want with this woman you claim is wife material? If i were her i would leave you. True love puts the other first.

efficiencie:


You are likely right. If he has stopped having sex with you then he is most likely already in the process of planning to hurt you badly. First, if all you said about him is true then I wonder where you kept your brain when he was proposing to wed you. Second, if you can slap your husband then I can guess that you are the person provoking your husbands attitude towards you. You are not submissive to your husband. By your own admission, your husband cares for the kids, does his obligations to you financially and before now performs his duties as a lover. Your husband is likely in the top 10% of men globally who don't fool around but your insubordination has provoked his domineering stance towards you. If this is the case you need to swallow your mumu pride and beg him for forgiveness. Beg him to forgive your insubordination and if his behavior does not change within a week, confess all that happened to your parents/pastor/counsellor and ask them to plead on your behalf. Lastly, you will gain nothing from contending with your husband. If you wanted a sparing partner you should have remained single. A real man that believes in protecting, providing, sacrificing and leading his home is the last person you want to fight because it takes an amount of violence in men to be able to protect, provide, sacrifice and lead. You don't want to confront that part of him. Instead of contending with your husband be the woman and conquer on your knees. From my observation of good men, they are easily confused by a submissive wife. Submission makes a real man weak and vulnerable and that is why wise men are wary of those who seek to please them!

My God! How did you come to such judgment against her from what you read? Nowhere in your response do you show the OP concern. Nowhere do you give her words creed. She is a human being, not an object! Have you never been bullied so much until you snapped? You think a woman once she becomes a wife has no snapping point? If what she says is true, is it unrealistic that she was so pained she lashed out and slapped him? Why can't he be slapped? You sound like you are talking to a slave. She is his half. TOGETHER they are ONE.

It takes an amount of violence in men to be able to protect, provide, sacrifice and lead? You are so biased. So Jesus that protects, provides, sacrifices and leads is prone to violence? So the offshoot of kindness is violence? Is this even rational thought?

This sort of advise is why women die in marriages rather than seek help. He's demeaning her, emotionally rubbishing her but she is the one causing it by somehow not being submissive? Where did you get that she has mumu pride? Listen to how you have joined her husband to tear her down further...yet you don't even know her. All you see is a female, a wife.

She doesn't have to beg him. She is his wife. She needs to talk to him and in love tell him how much he hurt her and TOGETHER they need to make it work. If the fear is still constant she needs to leave for a while, and she needs to tell people she trust what is going on. The last thing we need to read about is another dead wife.

streetsoldier1:
bad parenting, this is what happens when women paint their husband as bad guy in the presence of the kids, the kids will grow up someday and remember the struggles of the father or relate their little experience with what they've seen in life and then come back to hunt the mother.
Parents should keep their fights and differences among themselves, dont try to paint the other partner bad even if he/she is. Clearly the boy needs counselling/deliverance

You have judge this from your bias against females. If you aren’t with bias it’s more likely the dad saying something against the mom that can cause such hate…using the logic you have.

If the mom said terrible things about dad, likely he would hate dad more.

Emeraldgreene:
[SPOT ON! African men and their rotten mentality.he doesn't Iove
his wife.he is just tired of her.he has been having an affair and sexual relations with the maid for long, that's why the maid started taking care of him the more,cos they got more intimate..This man could have sat his wife down and have a heart to heart with hiz wife.

Over here,you will see many women who don't even know how to cook,wash or clean.but they are happily married with their husbands.my friend literally doesn't even know how to boil eggs properly,but she is still with her husband.Their husbands buy them houses,cars, clothes,take them on vacations,spoil them.


sometimes these women call private chef to the house to make their meals. Their husbands haven't divorced them.They have nannies,chef, cleaners,...all they do is go to the SPA, salon and go shopping,then come home before d kids return from school.

Generally,most men are just very bad at relationships,take d case of Jennifer Lopez who is a great cook and very homely.Her husband then,Marc Anthony raved about how wonderful of a homemaker,good mother and wife she is,how she takes good care of him and he is so blessed to have her as a wife and proud of her despite her busy schedule. But off he goes divorcing his wife and running off with an air hostess.

Beyonce who is then a career woman ,who can neither cook,Clean nor wash,but raking in the millions and bought JayZ a private jet of 40 million dollars and an expensive house.But he was running around with Becky with the good hair,insulting his wife with so many ugly, average women who are not as beautiful or hardworking as his wife.

There are a million more cases like this, Happening on a daily basis,this are the
few known cases.I really feel sorry for women who are obsessed with men,always crazy and talking of relationship, relationships! Love foolishly at ur own Risks!

This man could have sat his wife down and hav a heart to heart discussion with her.Talk to her to change several times.A smart woman will listen.Or worse still as the head of his family,send the maid away and tell the wife to sit up.Hes just tired of his wife and looking for ways to be with d other woman.

Lambcourse... anything in a relationship regardless of how silly it is, we're always here to praise him. Reverse the case and we'd be shouting "fear women", "these hoes aren't loyal", etc. Misogyny is worse than racism.

Exactly! Men know what they are doing. They know most of the drama in homes is because they can't control their sexual urges. A wife can kneel to serve her husband, cook his favorite meals, scrub the floor till her hands are rough, and he can praise her and still have a side chick if he has no personal control. The women that try and try and try to be more than enough for a man are setting themselves up for heartbreak. Offer what you are to a man and if he can't accept that as enough don't blame yourself. If your blood pressure increases and you die, he will replace you because life is for the living.

BRATISLAVA:


It's getting to become disgusting the longer it stays.

It will eventually lead to abuse and cruelty towards women, because they are subtly using it to influence how people see women.

When people mention women on this forum, the first thing they read is hoe, cheat, bitch, pussy, money, entitled, hypergamy and other untrue things. The way they revel in it is something else.

It will take years to end the bias created. And while it is on, everyday there are crimes committed against women that forum men turn a blind eye to. Eventually it will reach them one day.

Seun Osewa is running toxic site for money.

I believe we are looking at the result of rampant promiscuity. It goes like this: the first time someone uses someone sexually they feel a hint of guilt and shame. They push it off because their body and mind is weak and their craving is beyond their self control. They don't like what they have become and begin to despise the object of their desires.

With that any narrative to confirm their internal bias/self hate is latched on. To feel good they tell themselves it's all the woman's fault. They are hoes, money grabbers, selfish, greedy. The more they beat on the female gender the more they look noble, selfless, perfect. It never occurs to them that they are hoes along with the women, for sex takes two.

If there is greed, they feed it. In fact many of them will not choose a girl who doesn't wear expensive wigs, designer bags and clothes, or have salon fashioned nails. Why? Because the contrary does not look good in public or feed their ego amongst their peers. They don't see themselves as selfish, even after many of them though wishing for a woman who is perfect have in their lives cheated on a good woman.

Yes, it's very toxic the way men on this site bash women and i've noticed its getting worse. Well, let them continue to create monsters out of other men who listen to them. Their daughters are going to be part of the society they create.

This is how a man will bring a curse on his home and generations. It is dishonorable for a man to do what he has done.

Provers 30:21 - 23.
“Under three things the earth trembles,
under four it cannot bear up:
22 a servant who becomes king,
a godless fool who gets plenty to eat,
23 a contemptible woman who gets married,
and a servant who displaces her mistress.

Sometimes we cheer and do things because we think we are in control, but in our hubris we don't realize we don't have as much control of our destiny as we think. God frowns on what this man has done, and he will pay for it.

He could have sent the maid away and instructed the wife on his needs. I am willing to bet he is using this as an excuse and was sleeping with the maid.

Also, what will we say to all the rich western homes with house helps, nannies, etc that function under the control of the woman of the house? That's how the ultra rich live. You honestly think the Kennedy's The royal family, The Rockefellers, The Gates etc are cooking the meals and scrubbing the floor? No! They leave instructions with the housekeepers, and or supervise.

Poor man mentality!

cococandy:
And you don’t consider yourself cheap?
You’re the one all of them slept with.
So you’re more like the public d*** here

Amazing isn't it? Like the man who went to the temple and said, "Thank God i am not like these other men, swindlers, extortionist, unjust..." and Jesus used him as an example of someone not justified in God's sight. A man thinks he is better than the women he sneaks to commit adultery with, the many women he defiles...without seeing himself as them: cheap, like a loaf of bread, and as guilty.

Assuming this is true:

Some of her problem is religion. Very excessively religious people don't have a zest for life. They see life as unimportant as they are so heavenly minded. Their lack of zest means a neglect of their wardrobe, appearance, and in some cases their environment. I saw it when i was in school in Nigeria.

Now in your cousin's case. She needs to be strongly told and shown a better way. She has to know that she will not be welcome to stay further if she cannot make changes. She needs to understand how unloving and harmful her ways are to others and how God is not happy. Put God in it, so she will sit up.

I also think she has some mental issues as even village people can be clean.

It's so strange to hear Nigerian men using their cultural perception to interpret the world. Kim is very, very wealthy. She has enough money to take care of multiple generations without a man. There is no splitting the man's property, especially as they might have signed a prenup and in the state of Cali a split is usually after 10 years of marriage.

Not every country is Nigeria and not every woman is the one you meet everyday.

Kim left him because Kanye is bipolar and refuses treatment. His mental decline is damaging, to the kids especially. Unless you have lived with a person dealing with a destructive mental decline you have no idea. Sometimes for the sake of the kids, one has to disassociate from a spouse. It's not always sex and money as a motivation. It's not always wise to judge every situation from the bias of "women are evil."

Marriage: most people are struggling in marriage because most people are refusing to accept that their parents definition of marriage is not working in modern society. Some men still expect an educated and goal oriented woman to turn into their grandmother's role in marriage. Whether many men like it or not, they are living in an age where women are educated. They are also living in an age where the world is open via the internet. That means expectations change. Education of the girl child means these girls/women have goals that exist before a man appears. Therefore, there will be much unhappiness and discontentment in a marriage where they are expected to be happy to only "keep house, own a little shop, and take care of kids." Marriage today is about companionship and friendship.

The irony is many modern men understand this intrinsically. That's why even if they keep a demure woman at home, they will cheat with a woman that inspires them intellectually. They begin to find their wives boring.

Bottomline: marriage is hard and unsuccessful because many people are going into it very selfishly.

setobaba:
Good morning,

I’ve been thinking and watching on this for few months now, I notice my wife is no longer the damsel I met and dated. She will be 35 in few months, and we had only two kids together, so why she suddenly start looking older than that age is what I don’t know. I’ve seen ladies and colleagues of her age group still killing and rocking it, and going with the trend of fashion and lifestyles, No my wife won’t try to take fashion serious anymore. She will just wear any random cloths, not minding the occasion. You all won’t understand me on this, as In she use to be in line with all these before we had our first child. She’s not going through any stress, we living okay enough to be well fed.
So what’s happening?? Men, do you also feel like this? I mean those married for 5-10yrs and over.



A story of a young man who got married 11yrs ago

How are you treating her? I have realized that in relationships two people might be looking at the same situation differently...and most times men are clueless about how women feel. Your wife might be emotionally stressed and here you are thinking she should be happy/not stressed because there is food in the house. That's because as a man that's what you think is important.

If she was a fashionable youthful woman before, the problem lies with your home. I bet you this woman is stressed, overworked with children, and not really happy that's why she neglecting herself. Most Nigerian men don't date their wives, they don't help at home, they aren't romantic, and they aren't friends with their wives. They leave that for girlfriends or side chicks. All the beautiful clothes, body ointments, perfumes, etc goes to some woman outside. The best of what they have goes outside, but they think the best is the house, kids, and food they provide the wife. Many do not really know their wives.

35 is very young and most women want to look beautiful. Talk to your wife...talk to yourself.

Hi
I directed a documentary entitled The Story of Carmen that is currently submitted to 24 festivals and so far made it into two.

Synopsis: 4 year old Carmen was given away by her babysitter to a strange family on the streets of Texas. Her life was marred from that moment. For the past 40 years she’s been looking for her biological mother to find out why. Why was she given away like a dog?

Directed by Imeh Gabriel

We can’t wait to tour the festival circuit.
This movie was produced by A Lady’s Voice Network, where we show and tell women’s stories.

https://www.alvnetwork.com

sonnie10:


The business secret wouldn't even have benefitted him because he did not have up to the amount enough to do the business on his own. He might take the idea to someone else with more money and negotiate for more percentage share. Don't you know if I tell him, it would no longer be a business secret and everyone would probably be doing it. I will loss out eventually and he it will affect him too.
Although I told him what the problem was, he should have given me that benefit of doubt for a little time. .

You weren't a friend either. You clearly didn't trust him, yet complaining he didn't trust you. This illustration is not a good example of trust. It was simply a business arrangement and within that he had a right to be upset.