₦airaland Forum

ok. look for me

@ mukina2

hello Gunner, how u doin?

LMFAO.
REALLY WICKED

thanx evry1.

remember top 10 as "you" see it.

Quote from: Palbony on Today at 12:21:23 AM
It ain't "top 10" if u dnt mention titanic-leonardo di caprio & kate winslet.u rmbr that yeah!it's always on every top 10 movies.u get?

Titanic wetin top 10 ko top 10 ni. Not in my top 10, everyone's taste is not the same mate.

Please feel free to include "your" top 10 as "you" see it, and don't expect anyone to include movies that u like.

thanks.

if all the greats played in the same era, none of them would have won that many grand slams. rather the spoils would have been shared.

everyone has his time. just like Borris Becker, Pete Sampras, Andre Agassi, Bjorn Borg, John McEnroe, John Nwcombe etc all had there days, this is Roger Federer's time. three more grand slams are still very much possible for him.

if he does get it, this will not be due to Luck

[center]DAY OFF[/center]

Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

A guy walks into a diamond shop with a very beautiful woman. "Show
the lady your finest Diamond!" the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes to the back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous, Perfectly cut diamond.

As the lady tries it on, the jeweller discreetly whispers to the man, "Ah, sir
that particular diamond goes for $650,000." "No problem! I'll write you a check!"
"Very good, sir." says the shop owner. "Today is Saturday. You may come by on
Monday to pick it up, after your check has cleared."

So The man and the woman leave.

On Monday, The man Arrives at the store. The store owner is  outraged: "How dare you show your face in here after what you did? Your check bounced, There wasn't a single penny in your account!"

I know said the man "I just had to come by,to thank you for the most wonderful
weekend of my life!"

[center]MISTAKEN IDENTITY[/center]

A drunken guy is walking down the street. He sees this nun, runs up and knocks
her over.

He says, "You don't feel so tough now, do you,Batman!?"

This is absolutely Hilarious if u hav'nt seen it before. it happened while OBJ was still the president of Nigeria. Please read on

President Obasanjo got an invitation to visit the Queen of England. One afternoon, while drinking tea, he asked the queen the secret of her success. She told him that she relies on her people a lot and therefore she must be certain that they are intelligent. She decided to show him exactly what she meant and phoned Tony Blair.
Now listen carefully, Mr. Obasanjo, I am going to ask Mr. Blair a question to determine his intelligence.

Queen:- "Hello Mr. Blair, I have a question for you: your mother has a child, and your father has a child. This child is not your brother and is not your sister. Who is she?"
Tony Blair:- "It's ME"
Queen:-"Correct! Thank you, bye"
"Did you get that Mr. Obasanjo?" the queen asked. "Yes, thanks a lot, I'II definately be using that"

Once back in Nigeria he decided that he has doubts about the vice president [Atiku] and he's going to ask him the question. He arranged a meeting with him:
"Atiku, I have a question for you; your mother has a child and your father has a child. The child is not your brother and is not your sister, who is he?"
Atiku thinks, ".Em, Em, you must give me some time to think about it" and Mr. Obasanjo decided to give him a day to come up with the answer.
that afternoon, vice president Atiku called a meeting to discuss the question, but NOBODY knew the answer. They drew up an Atiku family tree, but to no avail. the next morning, he realised that he has to give Obasanjo an answer and as a last resort, he decided to phone Jerry Rawlings of Ghana.
"Jerry, your mother has a child and your father has a child. The child is not your brother and not your sister, who is he?"
Jerry answered immediately. "Hey, Atiku, It's me of course, you dumb Nigerian"

Atiku rushed to Obasanjo's office, very impressed that he has the answer to such a difficult question. "Mr. president, I know who he is, It's Jerry Rawlings!"
Obasanjo:-"Jerry Rawlings my foot. You are such a stupid vice president. I'II make sure that you are removed from office.The child is TONY BLAIR!"

fOOTBALL

Here's a chance for you to name the Top ten greatest films of all time, as you see it. strictly from your own perspective. no right or wrong, no good or bad, in short no long thing.

if its a sequel, or trilogy, u can class it as one movie. (i.e osuofia in London 1 & 2 can simply be named as osuofia in London). you dig?

this is my top 10 ranking. Enjoy

1   Braveheart (Mel Gibson, 1995)

2   Ben Hur (Charlton Heston, 1959)

3   The Godfather (Trilogy) Al Pacino & Robert De Niro

4   Lord of the Rings (trilogy) Viggo Mortensen

5   Crash  (All star cast, 2004) Sandra Bullock, Don Cheadle, Ryan Phillippe

6   My fair Lady (Rex Harrison, 1964)

7   Star Wars (Trilogy) Ewan Mcgregor & Christian hayden

8   The Usual Suspect (Kevin spacey, 1995)

9   The Scarlett and the Black (Gregory Peck, 1983)

10  A Beutiful Mind (Russell Crowe, 2001)

Just taking the Mick outa u. 

anyways, will leave u two alone to know eachother whichever way u feel is appropriate,  because i need to get back to work, and do what i am paid to do.

beside i knwo whant make people talk say mo wanbe ni gba to shele i no dey oh 

You must have some gr8t sense of humour to like mine

r u trying to get in good with me or r u been sarcastic?  

tell me truth oh !, make my head no begin swell fro nothing.

u are used to foxing  people aint ya,

the people that ask u out, how d they cope?

but must say that i admire your sense of humour.

HMMMM

Vague

Im not quite sure i follow u in the context of this conversation.

as per ur age, omo u don old oh

Aha!! student? at least ive been able to milk some information outa u.

u dont give that away so easily do u

i bet u would av probably been expecting me to ask for ur e-mail or sumthin, but not me.

I intend to enjoy it. so wats ur day been like? Good?

what av u been up to?

Im aw'rite, at work as usual working my @$s off. but its been a good day, just got a bottle of wine and a lot of credit for a job well done.

so theres a big grin on my face

the guy no get action.

@ you

im still waiting. u came and left. come back Oh!

it seems u are fast becoming the most sort after comodity on Nairaland

hw u doing 2day?

waiting for u. u know wher to find me.

@ iice
its folanusi. u know how we do. will meet u there.

A man pulls up to the front of a church in a brand new 2007 model s-class Mercedes Benz. The pastor knowing that men (especially rich ones) like to be proud of their wives beauty announces, today every man will give an offering according to the beauty of his wife.

The entire male congregation come out with wads of money (thousands & millions) to prove that they have got the prettiest wife.

But the man in the Benz simply comes out and drops 10 Naira in the offering box. The pastor amazed walks up to the man and says, did u not hear me? I said everyone would make an offering according to the beauty of his wife,

To which the man replied. I heard you,
Pastor: where is your wife?
Man: she’s in the car.

The pastor rushes to the car to have a word with the wife, as he opened the car door and saw the wife, he shouted to the usher

Usher, please give that man 5 Naira change!!!

This is the most hilarious thread in the whole of nairaland.

just cant pass by without dropping a few.

Juice = Jewis

Motor = Mutoe

Naira = Nay Ra

Lexus = Leg Zuus

Sex = Ses

@ rasulua

Ok. Not a Problem

What do you expect?Hin name na MUFU, Sounds more like a fool.

Now that was the joke

Totally agree with Ruddie. 14 grandslams is a far cry away considering the level of tennis the oposition is paying. but we never, u need to take it 1 grandslam at a time Init?

@ mukina
hello my gunner friend

eso fun Omode yi pe ko so ara re oh, ki awon agba to so egba kale fun

been aw'rite. working late today and that is always bad news. im still @ work.

@ viee
so how is our spectator doing?

observer.

had a gud day?