₦airaland Forum

LMAO, nice one

will do just that

Lets pop champagne when United slams Chelsea on Sunday.

United Till I die, , Man United Till I die,
I know I am, , Im sure I am United till I die,

Just go and sleep and imagine yourself like this

Hahahahahaah 

this Guy, u be clown oh.

Ok I'll just be an observer,

but I might wanna contribute some, for the love of Footie

not a gunner,
Im I welcome?

@ mukina & iice

sometimes i think of chutes and i find em very fascinating, 
maybe dangerous, , but fun,
unpredictable,  but exciting.

never seen one before, , but i'll really like to try it out sometime.

wetin be the name of this company?

Shey una dey for Stock exchange?

LMAO

e suppose  add winged danfo  what do you think?

u go kill person ohh, winged danfo ke?


@ iice

Na rocket i wan buy, u get?

so tell something, ,
why is it that you guys only sell flying aparatus?

Yo, wats with this broom business.

@ Mukina

long time no hear Did u miss me?

@ Mukina and iice

you guys have left parachute business and opened broom factory
   

The poster was asking it there is anywhere in Nigeria where real diamonds are sold, and so far only Chilli has been able to answer that question.

to those of you who say that the question is silly, i will suggest that rather than insult the poor poster, why dont you enlighten us on where diamonds are sold in Nigeria?

As for me, I dont think there is any Diamond store in Nigeria. I satand to be corrected.

[s]£1,600 for a Sony Vaio  (work related equipment)  [/s]

£490 for Tissot Gents Wristwatch 

Nice one

really enjoyed this one

gotcha, ,

so wats going down? u lot still pawning this illegal chute on NL

@ mukina2 & iice

The man Don come, , the man don come again,

did u guys miss me?

@ mukina

please no more discussing that football tragedy
that gist don expire

so my peeps, how una dey?

[center]THE DRUNK[/center]

A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car.

"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line.

"Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."

if theschool posts the letter on the day you specified, then you should recieve the letter within 2 weeks. that will probably be the end of july. if the stat date of your course is 24 sept 07, then you have enough time to process your student visa.

in most cases straight forward student visa applications takes about 2 weeks to procces, but because the september admission period is usually busy at the high commission, i will advise you to put your application in at least 4 weeks befor your intended departure.

Good Luck.

A lot of shit happens on airlines. especially those departing or bound for african destinations.

I had a bizare experience with British Airways flying from Lagos to London.

This is actually unbelievable but they ran out of food it was hilarious, i couldnt believe it, u know how they ask you on board if you wanted chicken, fish or vegetarian, well after serving about a third of the passengers, they told us that there was no more food available except vegetarian,

Trust 9Ja people, all the Old men and women begin Voke.

it was disgraceful. generall had very Good experience with KLM and Virgin. people also say Lufthansa is good. this doesnt meaqn that they will also not have thier bad days, just hope u will not be on board when these occur.

which sexy pix, abeg make we see am ohh

hi mukina, im here. stop searching!!!!!

The husband store
The Husband Store

A brand new store has just opened in London that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:-

"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!"

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kid and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 -These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.

The 1st floor has wives that love sex.

The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.

A man, getting along in years, finds that he is unable to perform sexually.

He goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work.

Finally, as a last hope, the doctor refers him to an African medicine man.

The medicine man says, "I can cure this."

With that said, he throws a white powder into a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.

Then the African medicine man says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"

The man then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?"

The medicine man replies, "When your partner can take no more sex and is completely raddled, all she has to say is '1234', and it will then go down. But be warned, the pork sword will not rise again for another whole year."

The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers.

That night he showers, shaves and smothers himself in aftershave.

He slides into bed, cuddles up to his wife, and says "123" and suddenly

he has this huge stiffie ever, just as the medicine man promised.

His wife turns over and asks, "What did you say '123' for ?

[center]Time To Swear[/center]
A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.

"You know what?" says the 7 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing."

The 4 year old nods his head in approval. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?"

"Ok" the 4 year old, agrees with enthusiasm.

The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.

"Oh, sh *t mum, I guess I'll have some Coco Pops"

WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.

She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice," And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

"I don't know," he blubbers, "but it won't be f**king Coco Pops"

find Nairaland very entertaining. keeps me busy while i wait for the new football session to start.

like football?

[center]ONE WISH[/center]
A man riding his Harley was riding along a California beach, when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic! Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.

Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind."

The biker thought about it for a long time.

Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

A guy buys a new bike, a beautiful Harley. The salesman says "to keep the chrome in the best condition, just make sure that if the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain. In fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my tube of Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it." and he hands the buyer a tube of Vaseline.
That night, he decides to ride the bike over to his girlfriend's parents' house. It's the first time he's going to meet them and figures it will make a big impression. When the couple gets to the house, the girlfriend grabs her boyfriend's arm.

"Honey," she says, "I got to tell you something about my parents before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes, nobody has said anything for over 3 months."

"No problem," he says. And in they go.

The boyfriend is astounded. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. Piled up the stairs, dirty dishes. In fact, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, the boyfriend decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses his girlfriend. No one says a word. So he decides to reach over and starts to touch her. He looks at her parents, but still they keep quiet.

So he stands up, grabs his girlfriend, strips her naked, and they make love right on the dinner table. Still, no one says a word.

Thinking, just how far can he take this. So he grabs his girlfriend's Mom and has his way with her right there on the dinner table. Again, total silence.

Then, a few raindrops hit the window and the boyfriend realises it's starting to rain. He figures he'd better take care of the motorcycle, so he pulls the Vaseline from his pocket.

Suddenly the father stands up and shouts: "All right, all right! I'll do the damn dishes."

i Thot u all had abadoned me.
was starting to get really lonely.

Helloooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!

anybody home?