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The market swirled around her like rough seas. But she was an old hand, skilled navigator, not easily driven off course by petulant winds. She knew where everything was. Green vegetables. Melon seeds. Fresh tomatoes. Palm oil. Her regular suppliers waved at her the minute they spotted her, Customer! Customer! They knew her proportions and chipped in the obligatory extra. Sometimes she haggled over it. Is that all you can add? Eh? You are not treating me well o. I’ll find another customer o. Faking offence. Haba customer! Faking concern. Why you go talk like that? Okay, take. The so-called ‘jara’ was always insignificant – one more red tomato, maybe half-a-handful of egusi - but it still tickled.



She knew where everything was, everything except snails. It had been a while, and there was a provisions store where she used to see them in the past. She bought some spaghetti off the cuff, and tins of corn beef, but they didn’t know where the snail sellers had gone. Nobody seemed to know where they’d gone, till someone waved a hand with wriggling fingers in the general direction of the older section. “Madam, go that way. When you reach you will see a woman with a wrinkled hand, selling pepper. Ask her. She will show you from there.”



Off the main road, here the foot gathered dust. Uju went past rows of stalls. They were loaded with fruits - pineapples, oranges, mangoes – and their minders sprinkled water over them to keep them wet and shiny. She ignored the boisterous solicitations, calling her over to take a look at foreign banana, wonderful coconut, watermelon wey get enough wata for ‘im body. The little boy followed her closely, pushing the things she’d already bought in his rickety barrow; his smile like a partly open garage door. She’d counted at least four missing from his upper teeth.



Rice pyramids now. And mountains of beans. They rose out of iron basins on either side of the narrowing path. It was as compact as concrete, beaten solid by trampling feet. There was barely enough space for two lanes of traffic, so you walked behind the person in front of you till you had to overtake them. Uju was hesitant. Those behind started swinging past. She’d never come this far into the market before. A woman looked up over a mound of yellow garri. “Yes, madam? You wan buy?”

She moved closer, out of the way of streaming traffic. “Please, do you know where I can buy snail?”

“Wait!” The woman dusted both hands on her thighs. “I have. Just wait. I coming. I go bring it.”



She dashed off before Uju could react, legs moving like skittles underneath her faded wrapper. Uju sighed in relief. There was a wooden stool beside the basins of garri. White garri. Yellow garri. Red garri. Packets of cassava flour hung from nails across the top beam. Another woman had a screaming baby on her back; she was bent over sweeping, rocking the child at the same time. A tiny cloud of dust travelled down the path, coating everything. Uju turned her face away and leaned as much of her body as she could manage underneath the stall’s protruding zinc roof. But a stab of sunlight still pierced her shoulder.



Where the hell was that woman?



She re-appeared, like she’d heard the thought, a scraggly looking dog trailing behind her, waving a black plastic bag. Uju was already reaching into her handbag, when the thought occurred to her. She looked up. “Let me see.”

“Eh?”

“Let me see it.”

The woman came nearer and held the bag open.

Uju jumped back. “Jesus!” Her hand flew to her throat. “What is that?”

“Snail…” The woman waved the bag again. “Snail.”

“Snail?” There was a winged creature of some sort in the bag. “Is that not a bat?” And it wriggled as well.

“Oh…” The woman looked into the bag. “Not snail? Okay, okay. I have. Wait, just wait- I go bring it.”

Uju didn’t. Madam! She ignored the pleas. So you want to use bat hand and bring me snail? No o, please. After a good distance, as far away as stamina allowed, she stopped at another stall.



“Please, do you know where I can buy snails?”

“No.”

This one sold tiger nuts and seemed to be having a bad day. From the way she slouched on a low stool with her chin in her hand. Hardly even looked up.

“Okay. Do you know the woman with the wrinkled hand that sells pepper?”

“Mama Tom George?”

“I don’t know her name.”

Now, the woman sat up straight. “Why are you looking for her?”

“Somebody told me…”

“Are you Police?”

Uju stopped. “What? No I am not Police.”

“Does she owe you money?”

“No.”

“So, why are you looking for her?”

“Someone said that she knows where I can buy snails.”

“It is pepper that she sells. Not snails.” The woman squeezed her brows. “Who is this person that sent you? Is he Police?”



Uju put her hands on her hips and looked up. There was a crooked corridor of bright blue sky visible between the edges of extended stall roofs. The tiger nut seller was still scrutinizing her. Her barrow boy was standing with some other barrow boys under the shade of an abandoned stall. Uju sighed.



They left the grain sellers behind, now deep in the underbelly of the endless market. Many abandoned stalls here, wooden wrecks with collapsed roofs, amongst tables of yams and cocoa yams, sweet potatoes and gold-skinned plantains. They were much cheaper than the ones you found at the entrance. Uju filtered her search more carefully this time. She walked up to a woman that looked as distinguished as market conditions allowed.



“Mama Tom George?” The woman nodded. “Yes, she’s just over there.”

“Ah! Thank you!”



The old woman sat on a low stool. There was a small hill of red pepper in front of her, with four rusted tins. One still held the ghost of a Peak milk wrapper. She used her good hand to spread the pepper evenly across the tray and then wiped the red stain on a rag around her waist.



“Yes?”

“Good afternoon, mama”, Uju said. “Please, do you know where I can buy snails?”

She scooped up a tin of red pepper and emptied it into a plastic bag. Then she tied up the bag and held it up to Uju.

“No, no”, Uju shook her head. “I don’t want pepper. I’m looking for snails.” She raised her voice slightly and spoke much slower. “Do you know where I can buy snails?”

“Ah! What kind of nonsense is this?” The old woman’s voice cracked like a dry whip. “Please, pay me for the pepper now. Which one is this?”

“God.” Uju rolled her eyes skywards and gasped. “I don’t want pepper. I’m looking for…you know what? This is not worth it.”



She threw her hands up and turned around. Then she felt a tug, it almost ripped her skirt; Mama Tom George had caught a handful of hem in her wrinkled hand and pulled her back. “Where do you think you’re going? You make an old woman like me shovel pepper into a bag for you and now you refuse to pay for it!”

“Eh?”



Do you struggle with an old woman, grab her diseased looking hand and prise it off your skirt? What if she snatched it off completely? Do you then tiptoe out of the Friday market with your designer blouse and cream-colored pant? Mama Tom George started screaming. Uju looked around alarmed, struggling to rid herself of the wrinkled grip. But other traders came quickly, faster than a rapid response unit. And they had no ears for explanations delivered in graduate english. She was still arguing. Someone shoved her in the back. She stopped arguing, started pleading- fine, okay bring the pepper, I go buy am. But they marched her down a side path, to a beaten shed where three dusty looking policemen were seating.



After listening, one of the policemen flicked an eye over Uju. “You look like a dignified person, madam. Why are you here stealing pepper from this old woman?”

For God’s sake, is nobody sane in this market? But Uju kept that thought to herself; focused on getting out with life and limb intact. “I didn’t take any pepper from her. I was just asking her if she knew where I could buy snails!”

The officer studied her face as if he was a lie-detector machine, as if he was reading her vital signs and de-coding it for the truth. Uju tried to look upright. Then he said, “How much?”

“Eh?” Were they already negotiating bail?

“How much snails do you want to buy?” He reached behind his colleagues and dragged out a bucket full of snails. “It depends on the size.”


http://dikechukwumerije..com/2013/01/snails.html

By the time I had fallen in love, I didn't even know that I had fallen-into-love. I tried to fight off the feeling. This emotion was alien to my nature. I had never felt anyone feel this way about me before, and now I felt this way, about her.

It was sweet at first. We'd pick a garden and curdle our legs beneath the big old trees. Under the shade, no one could see us. We were buried in each others eyes.

But when the tough times came, we had it rough. Countless times, she saying " Bye, I'm going. I'm gone".

She always came back, not to apologize but to wade through the spheres of my chest and whisper " Don't know why, but I can't leave".

We were spirits and our bodies were mere shells. So, in times of passion, we tore through the walls of our flesh. Bleeding in love every crevice of our bodies.

We were magnetic. Each time I pulled away, a stronger force drew me closer. I did not have a mind of my own, and neither did she.

Our love was a soft violin, a soft hand dilly dangling on the strings of purity that melted our souls into one. We never existed. We lived in a monologue, a "to be or not to be" moment in time. She was perfect for me and I for her. We were too perfect to be mortals. So we died.

Goodmorning,

Culled from Mike Ogah.

flow1759: "i want to buy Con............ as i was about to add "dom" i saw Dami entered, so instead of "dom" i added "flakes" making it "CONFLAKES"................

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Ride on

Owk, Red-Moss, no vex wo, but man must chop even if na to do piracy

Here is the continuation of the post









THE PLIGHT OF CASSAVA
There was a loud thudding sound which made the earth shook vigorously from side to side the moon almost crashing into the sun while stars clinged unto each other to avoid falling. Black Prince turned to face whatever had fallen and but could only see brown looking hairs. Before he could have time to react, he was swept high into the sky landing on top of a building.

He stood up, shook his head to clear it, and from the height he was he saw what had swept him off with so much force, a big tuber of cassava. His mouth fell open as the cassava turned and faced him, two dark spots on its top acting like eyes looked at the Black Prince unblinking.

“Na you dey chop me like no man’s business abi, you dey soak me like say you no need protein abi? Today your own don finish”

Cassava spoke from no particular mouth.

With that it gave a piercing shout and rushed towards Black Prince swinging roots thicker than an iroko tree as it made its way.

“I don die finish today, so garri ma dey come revenge mission”

Black Prince said. Lifting his club, his blood boiling and a deadly smile playing on his lips as he readied himself waiting for the moment the cassava root will get within attack view. Some meters to where the Black Prince stood, cassava coughed and spat, a thick blob of throat mucus fell on Black Prince burying him instantly.

Cassava got to the building, its root like hand turning into spike sharper than the tip of a pointed blade. With its hand raised, he struck at its mucus hoping to pierce through Black Prince with it but was taken aback as it got only half way before being severed from the rest of its body. A scream of pain escaped cassava as it glanced round to see Minion hand outstretched waiting to receive something. A surge of pain went through cassava again as more part of its hand fell off and a golden light passed beneath him to the hand of the short ugly creature dressed in agbada and a matching cap. It was the golden axe.

Cassava had not expected anyone to come between it and its prey let alone something it could crush beneath it foot. In anger cassava swinged one of the numerous roots on it body knocking Minion high into the air, it shot out another root, grabbing Minion mid-air and with great force smacked him on the ground. As the dust cleared, the place he had smacked Minion revealed a crater with Minion in it, his bottom shooting to the sky.

Cassava lifted his leg time, angry and filled with the desire to kill, brought it down with force into the crater but took it back at once shouting in pain. Herculean was there bow in hand, her quiver empty and a sword strapped to her back, she had shot all her arrows into Cassava’s foot. Cassava took a little time to admire her beauty before longing at her fully hoping to crush her as it fell in her position. Herculean easily limped out of the way with the help of a dark smoke. This took her up into the sky while cassava transformed in its lying position, its eyes appearing again, hand coming out and roots flying into the air to grab Herculean.

Cassava froze mid-air as it sighted what was holding her mid air; it was the lord of the underworld himself, Hades. Before cassava could react, the young Herculean lunged with her sword at it drawing fiery energy from Hades. It cut cassava into two, one part flying far while the other part laid there. Minion jumped up and rushed to the other part hacking and cutting at cassava as he climbed the fallen villain. Soon cassava was in bit and pieces while Hades appeared and commanded a huge grinding machine to appear. It did and with black power, Cassava was grinded in the machine, soaked and squeezed and then started getting roasted by a huge fire and pan which Minion provided. Herculean stirred and turned the product until it was dry and crisp, IJEBU GARRI.

At that same moment, the Back Prince broke out of its akpu prison, hand on the instrument hanging between his legs but then, cassava had already been defeated. He looked down to see Minion, Hades and Herculean preparing to soak garri with sugar and kuli-kuli.

flOW, you better not reply my post, if you have to, do that by updating more stories

Chei.... Me dey feel this story pass papa Ajasco oooooooooooo

Come... Flow, I dey chop for here o... If the food climb my nose eh??

skoloppy31: .
U are right cos dats what I jst did,,he no update for like 3weeks....so u xpect me to comment.....if hin like make update if hin like make he update...so far ibo boy like yoruba dy update..fanta my guy ‎BBB

Owk, no pull the guy spirit down...

Yeeeehhhhh.... Happy Sunday sha

Enough mistakes dey my write-up but make una manage am because I no too settle down write am. Will write some more o if you guys give me a go ahead...

THE RETURN OF BLACK PRINCE


(Had to keep you guys entertained)

Smoke bellowed from the chinmey of the old house as people gathered to see what must have caused it for the smoke was no ordinary one like the ones from fire place. The smoke had a combination of purple and pink and its thickness pushed through the air creating a vacunm.

''Na wetin come be this one na, abi the house dey born?''

Red-Moss asked.

''You dey craze, you don ever see purple and pink flame? No be only red flame, blue flame and black smoke you know?''

Minion replied adjusting his old glasses on his shrivelled face.

Red-Moss yawned and scratched on his potruding hairy belly that shot out from underneath his singlet. The belly was an eye sore coupled with his manly breast, the same Dark Prince is now a demented old man. He picked his tooth and spat read coloured spittle from his mouth staining the grey earth.

''You don dey chop gorro (kola-nut) again ko, no wonder you just look like my grand mother.''

Minion chipped in laughing at his own jokes, exposing missing tooths and a blackened tongue.

''Come, no make me remove the remaining teeth from your mouth''

Red-Moss fired back.

There was a creaking sound from the door which made the onlookers to move back in fear. The door opened revealing more purple smokes as a figure emerged from within it. Everybody took to their heels save Red-Moss and Minion who took combat positions, Minion holding a rusted axe and Red-Moss a termite ridden club. Their breath came in puffs and their eyes shown with fire, fear was quivering behind them.

The figure adorned a dirty brownish cloak (More of I was white) that had a twisted and turned ex-looking golden belt, on one hand she held an old bow and a quiver of arrows. As she came into the open she removed the hood from her head. Beautiful Herculean!!! What a catastrophe for she was the opposite of the young Herculean.

''All these old men never retire? Wetin una dey here dey do, even you Red-Moss wey your preek no dey gree stand in the night.''

She laughed sarcastically.

''O baby, na public we dey o, and you just make this short devil dey laugh me''

Red-Moss replied feigning anger while Minion reeled on the ground with laughter his rusted axe thrown to one side, his baba riga sweeping the ground.

''If na my head you go get power but see am na, na just this old woman dey fall your hands''

Red-Moss grited his teeth but remained silent.

''Me and hades say make we just try some old trick if e go work because e don tay o''

Herculean chipped in.

At the mention of hades, the ground shook and a cracked voice barely audible spoke from nowhere.

''Na who dey call the lord of darkness name like that, that person no dey fear underworld?''

Red-Moss shook his head.

''Come, nna, dat your trick no go work, that megaphone battery don dey die''

Hades came out from behind the door with his black robe patched in several places.

''Must you fall my hand, long time, na where you enter na, your wife just dey keep me company since that time''

Hades said.

Red-Moss scoffed

''Person wey don see her nenopause for tay tay, I use lubrication so tay her inner wall develop resistance, enjoy her jawe''

At that Herculean pounced on him but stopped midway when lightning cut accross the sky. They all looked up to see the purple and pink smoke creating a hole that led to the outerworld and creatures of different type falling or flying from the sky. Disaster stared earth in the face as the whole place became blackened.

''See wetin una cause ko, all in the name of magic''

Minion said as he transformed into a younger Minion looking cajad in his bellowing agbada and cap, his golden axe appearing shining with light and an inner fire. Red-Moss transformed into the Black Prince, the Herculean's cloak whiteness stinging the eye in the ensuing darkness.

The place shook a second time and they all turned to see Hades in his full de-glory, darkness surrounding him. He looked at them and from his formless eyes, something like an eye with a lid appeared which winked at them then disappeared immediately. He then breathed thick smoke from his mouth smelling nicely of igbo mixed with ermo. Black Prince breathed deeply and readied himself.

They were all back, ready to defend the world from external siege.

Redmosquito:
Security! Please take this man outta here.
Foxy! I don miss u for here. I no dey come NL like before. The real world on ma mind.
U suppose don drop link to ur tory na, how u want make them guys read am?

Na so na, me dey so tied down right now self so tay dem dey remind me to chop... **exaggeration**