May i also take this opportunity to kindly ask all warring parties to please "cease fire". You are not helping this way.

NLders, thank you for your posts. I am sori i have been away for a while, i felt it necessary to take time out with an unmarried friend way out in the village - without communications so that i can clear my head.
Some comments have been so incisive, it seems some of you know me well well. Whilst others have been way off the mark.

Being the person in the frontline, I can tell you it is not that easy to simply walk away. There are so many factors holding you back, the pressure form family, the children, the love you have, the financial investments.

Believe me, if it was that easy, I would have been gone.

I do not cheat or beat my wife.
I am a very responsible man and I have a great deal of care for my family, physically, emotionally and financially.

I do not really know what to do. I think about the kids growing up in a loveless home, I think about the shattered confidence and how to get it back, i think about how i can ever love any woman again, I am seriously confused.

@Tink_sh
She takes some responsibility and says I have to tak the most responsibility.

gottcha!

Dont go that way young man, you'll end making your life miserable. True, women can be cruel, but that is not to say that you can never be happy with one. Your choice goes a long way in making you happy. Dont base the most important decision in your life on irrelevant thing!

am sorry, I do not understand the quote above - particularly the text in bold.

Dear NLers, thks for ur reps. the ans below:
1.   But how did it come to this? - she did not have the courage to say it all this while, but it has been the case since the begining, because i did not allow frindship to flourish before entering to courtship
2.   But we have been married for over 10 years, when exactly did you begin to feel this way? - from the very begining because of the above
3.   Why did you proceed to the wedding - she thought it would improve
4.   Why did proceed to have children with me - same as above
5.   Why didn’t you end it soon enough - same as above
On the double dating, this info only came to light after the union.

I have been married for over 10 years, but recently my wife told me that she does not love me. Even worse, she said she had never loved me and worst of all she said that of all the men she has been intimate with in her life (she listed them – and painfully enough I know them too because she double dated with each of them during our courtship) I am the only one who does not satisfy her or give her pleasure. That in fact I have never given her an orgasm yet all these guys have.
Before you say that she is merely being spiteful, she was saying all this with flood of tears and anguish. As you can imagine, it was equally extremely painful for me to her such words. The anguish can never be expressed in words and I do not wish my worst enemy to hear such words.
Naturally, I asked the following questions:
1. But how did it come to this?
2. But we have been married for over 10 years, when exactly did you begin to feel this way?
3. Why did you proceed to the wedding
4. Why did proceed to have children with me
5. Why didn’t you end it soon enough

,  answers she gave to these questions to follow.