Ujujoan:

Yea, what do you want to do

I want to know his plans. This your body weh deh hot this morning. Take am easy eh

^^ lol!

I know na, I'm interested in his answer that's why I highlighted your post. lol!

Abeg oh, I'm not Magaret Tatcher.

So Fredy, what are your plans

want to take up the vacant position? _joke

true though fredy,are you planing to leave her? I think you should really take a break,go somewhere and reconsider your options.Also consider the kids you two have together.

My heart breaks for you, truly. There is no reason any person would say those things, even if its the truth, unless to break your heart. She had no right to lay all that on you. I have no words to describe a woman like that. You dont do that to someone you love or even to the father of your babies!!! Discusting and vile words!!! I dont understand though why you married her when you knew she was cheating. Sometimes we need to open our eyes, marriage doesnt change people for the better it only highlights their weaknesses.
I pray for your heart to heal and pray for your babies in this mess.

Is she taking any responsibility?? For the decision to marry, for the cheating, for bringing innocent children into the marriage if she knew all this?

Radiant:

The answers are in post 17

thanx!

I do not really know what to do. I think about the kids growing up in a loveless home, I think about the shattered confidence and how to get it back, i think about how i can ever love any woman again, I am seriously confused.

@Tink_sh
She takes some responsibility and says I have to tak the most responsibility.

If you haven't satisfied her in 10 years I don't think you can anymore or may be I'm wrong

Did she suggest any solution?

Things like this you don't even know where to start from.

She takes some responsibility and says I have to tak the most responsibility.

what responsibility is she taking?

@Tink_sh
She takes some responsibility and says I have to tak the most responsibility.


[quote][/quote]


I'm sorry but she is totally responsible for her own actions. She chose to use those cruel words on the father of her children. The lack of respect astounds me. You at least deserve respect as the father.
Did you cheat on her or beat her? If not she has no reason to complain she is just blaming you to justify her behaviour. I am truly sorry, i have no advice on how to move forward. I only know that you have to protect and love your children. They deserve much better than a mother who puts herself first. I apoligise if i sound harsh but women like this give the rest of us a bad name!!

I do not cheat or beat my wife.
I am a very responsible man and I have a great deal of care for my family, physically, emotionally and financially.

she never loves u in d first place, maybe she is jus desperate to add MRS to her name simple.

FredyP:

I do not cheat or beat my wife.
I am a very responsible man and I have a great deal of care for my family, physically, emotionally and financially.

Maybe that's where you are wrong. By the time you give her 24 strokes of the cane, fear no go let am tell you rubbish. lol! 

Okay that was a joke!

I do feel for you and honestly I dont know what to tell you. She single handedly put you and her in this mess and she should be the one taking majority of the blame not you. But now's not the time to pass the buck. What you need is a solution and I dont know if I have one.

If the mods can move this to the family section, I'm sure Chiarcover will be able to figure something out! 

FredyP:

I do not really know what to do. I think about the kids growing up in a loveless home, I think about the shattered confidence and how to get it back, i think about how i can ever love any woman again, I am seriously confused.

@Tink_sh
She takes some responsibility and says I have to tak the most responsibility.

Ok, stop. I'm really trying not to be judgmental; I really am. But the above? Don't even let her try that with you. She doesn't seem to get what she's done to her family if she's asking you to carry the brunt of the situation. To put things plainly: your wife comes off as selfish.

Dilemma, it also doesn't seem like FredyP is able or willing to let go of her YET, sounds like he is hoping for a miracle, goodluck man, your situation is tricky to say the least!

Actually, I'm in a dilema, if there were no kids between you, it would have being much easier, bro, you just have to take heart,  honestly, I'm short of words, may GOD show you the right path.

To my astonishment, most love or romance stories I see, hear or experience are followed by heartbreaks, I don't know who I can trust as my gf or wife to be, girls of nowadays are wicked and heartless, as a friend of mine says, life is now half-done , stories like this gives me goose pimples each time I think of searching for a girl to settle down with.

As I dey now, I just dey flenjur dey go as I no trust anybody except my mother.

@ poster, just take heart, God will show you someone who will give you a solution.

@ poster, do you still love your wife wholeheartedly ?

Being the person in the frontline, I can tell you it is not that easy to simply walk away. There are so many factors holding you back, the pressure form family, the children, the love you have, the financial investments.

Believe me, if it was that easy, I would have been gone.

^^ well, stay then. And figure out a way to sort it out. GOOD LUCK!

Then dont leave her, if you love her, you can as well forgive her and move on, painful shit i must say, but if God forgives the most terrible sinners, who then are we not to forgive? (although bear in mind that you dnt satisfy her in bed like she wants! Big issue)

If you also want to leave, you are justified to do that , if she also wants to leave, let her go

The fact of the matter is that the Ball is in your court

Hmmmm! wonders shall never end. I know its very hard for u to move on but its just the truth. I don't av a solution to ur problem but the decision is now urs whether u still want her to stay with u or u want to forget her and take care of ur children. Whatever decision u take God will help u. It hurt but kpele.

FredyP:

Being the person in the frontline, I can tell you it is not that easy to simply walk away. There are so many factors holding you back, the pressure form family, the children, the love you have, the financial investments.

Believe me, if it was that easy, I would have been gone.

I understand. It's terrible but let me ask, why did she tell you all this? An excuse to leave you or what? I can't even imagine you trying to make love to her again So messed up

Chaircover, no woman in her right senses will compare her husband to her ex boyfriends after 10 years of marriage. That woman is straight from hell. Just think about it. It's not even disheartening enough that she came to this conclusion after so many years but to even mention her ex boyfriends?! Dang! that's just the climax.

Chaircover, if your husband came and told you that you've been a wimp all these years of marriage how would you feel? You will find it very very difficult to understand where he's coming from. Intimacy in marriage is not something one hides na I've never heard this one.

For all you know the woman may have been having affairs and she just felt so guilty one day and perhaps that's why she was crying and told the man whatever she said. She has been with someone recently to make comparisons.

Seriously, it doesn't add up. Except this man is lying, the woman's mind is not clean. I refuse to believe that.

This story is giving me a headache

chaircover:

in response to your question, if Mr chaircover calls me a wimp after all these years of marriage, I will first of all check his temperature to see if he is OK

I'm sure this man would have said the same thing if he saw a similar question before the horrendous incident It's shocking to say the least This send ones confidence to early grave.

Yea, I hope they figure something out.

It's going to be interesting how this one turns out, as the poster stated in his first post, the woman does not love him and has never loved him in the 10 years they have been married, I am assuming the man will EVENTUALLY grow on the wife but clearly it hasn't happened until now, all the best poster, this whole love thing is tricky if you ask me!

chaircover:

@poster I may be wrong but my gut instinct tells me that this is a cry for help from your wife. If she was playing around or wanted to leave you, she would have found better excuses. She will find an excuse that she can say in public. How can she tell her mother, friends and pastor etc that she is leaving you because you cant do it as well as her ex-boyfriends?

She probably said all those things to get a reaction from you and it worked. She has probably been hinting for months or years that things are not quite right with the relationship but you didn't quite grab it, so she decided to give you some attention grabbing headlines.

No doubt the things she said were despicable but maybe that was the only way she knew how to get to you.

Sometimes, men are on different wavelength's to women and men can be totally engrossed in their quest to put food on the table, forgetting that its not all about money. Women have totally different needs. We need love and affection. We need to be appreciated, we need to talk, we need to be listend to, we need to be affectionately touched and spoken to. Men are sometimes too busy to do all this and the woman begins to feel unloved and un appreciated.

Your wife made the mistake of letting things get so bad before saying anything but I honestly don't believe that she meant what she said. I think that she still loves you or wouldn't be crying when having the discussion with you.

No doubt something is wrong in your relationship and has been for a long time whether you admit it or not. You are married and have been for 10 years, so really you have one of one choice only, which is to try and work things out with your wife. Try & try until you have exhausted all avenues possible.

Go home and make peace with your wife. All the best.

This makes a hell of sense. I mean judging by the poster's reaction . . . 'how do I become my wife's best friend', it's obvious he feels a bit guilt!

Any other man would be hating now and raining insults on the whole of womanhood, but this guy . . . is remorseful!

There is notin hidden under de sun dat cannot come out especially emotions,it is not over yet sometin can b done.Both of u shld sit down & discus,with Godss help it shall b well Goodluck.

Hey dude, it's very possible that your wife is cheating on you!!!!

For her to have such guts to tell you, and the details, ah ah!!