₦airaland Forum

FL Gators:
Poster, let me ask you this. . .

Why bring a child into this world if you don't intend on staying with his/her father?

Desiring mixed kids is not wrong, but your motif is just plain selfish. Just don't carry out your desire

FL Gators:
Trust me, I understand your POV.

But it might not have anything to do with inferiority complex. Maybe preference.

But I don't understand why preference should even play a role in babies. They're like surprised presents, you don't get a choice in what color they come or what shape?

Don't get me wrong, I think asian, esp Chinese babies are sooo cute with those button eyes and silky tresses. But I wouldn't go to the length of sleeping with a Chinese man just to have a Chinese baby. Thinking Chinese babies are cute does not mean I don't loff other babies of different race.

thanks, i feel u r right my motif is wrong but my desire isn't wrong. also i never said i prefer mixed kids, if i did, i'd just marry a white man, i just said i wish/desire to have at least or only one mixed child amongst my others. also thanks for understandin this has nothing to do with inferior complex,. whiterose, i am a very light skinned pretty lady so otherwise.

whiteroses:
this is the most delusional thing i have ever read  but oh well it's your life anything God doesn't plan for you might alter your life negatively

whiteroses:
not exactly selfish it's more like lame, i think all children are beautiful either black or white maybe she just wants to make up for the things she's lacking but who am i to judge especially when my name aint God but just shocked at the lenght people will go because of inferiority complex

How is it delusional,that this is one of my thoughts doesn't necessarily mean it must be carried out?  some of u r still getting this so wrong, im not looking for beautiful kids, where in my post did i mention beautiful kids, i said a mixed child. a mixed child doesnt only have beauty, other things too so stop putting much attachement to the beauty part

sistawoman:
The truth is this: Dear child I wanted a mixed race baby so i got pregnant by your father not for love but to have a mixed race baby. You were not consived of love but just a want.

Parents who adopt children do so because they love each so much and want to have an extention of them but cant for what ever reason and deside to give a child a good home that is full of love.

There is no love in your want.

Then what truth do you tell your black children: Dear black children you have a different dad because I had your mixed race sibbling before I got married just because I wanted a mixed race child. Does that not say to those black children that your preference was to a mixed race child. How are they supposed to feel about the color of thier skin?

If you have the child before you get married then you will be a single mom trying to date and marry a Nigerian man. How well do you think that is going to go over?
What will your family think?
How will your community treat you?

im guessing my desire is now wrong. like i said earlier, maybe im not thinking about the consequences and thats why im here asking for thoughts and opinions. we all have one life to live. i just wish, infact i dont know what to wish for

TheSeeker:
Maybe you need to look up what obsession means. You're so into mixed kids, I don't see anything wrong with that -- although I wouldn't go out of my moral way to have a child out of wedlock unless it happened in a way I couldn't avoid or push over.

I'm not crucifying you either, but as sistawoman had asked, what truth do you prepare on telling your black kids? That you are like to a mixed kids hence making them just a necessity and your "owned" mixed kid a very invaluable asset? You need a reality check.

A question just popped up to my mind. You love mixed kids predominantly because of their external features, what if, God forbid, the child gets involved in a fire accident and has a second degree burn? What happens? You'll have another mixed kid?

it makes sense. im not trying to be selfish here. we all have one life to live. we all have out thougths and desires. this is just one of those things i think about and decided to share it out with people for opinions.

~Sauron~:
A Nigerian man to marry a baby mother in this land of abundance??
I hope you are loaded to the hilt cos if not. . . . .that is a miscalculated gamble.

Don't get me wrong, I just wanted to pour out my thoughts and feelings on here, i didn't say it MUST happen. I want to have at least one mixed child but I want to marry a black/nigerian man.

maray:
People usually think dat mixed race people look better than people wit higher percentage of a blood ancestry of people who are full - blooded.THIS IS NOT TRUE! No matter wat race you are,there is ugly and pretty in ALL RACES.Skin colour doesn't make u look prettier u dumb ignorant poster,lighter skin and straighter hair is not a worldwide beauty standard.Beauty is skin deep

u r the dumb one here. it isnt compulsory 2 write something here. who said i was looking for beautiful kids, like as if beautiful kids are the only mixed races puulease. by d way maray i am a light skinned beautiful woman full african not mixed so dont assume i dont know wat im talking about.

MrCrackles:
Poster

Yes it right. . . .And now do us a favour, dont open ridiculous or stupid threads ever again ok?!

How is it a stupid thread? u didnt have to say anything, u should have just passed by.

sistawoman:
What truth will you tell the mixed race child? And what truth will you tell your black children?

I cannot really say much becuase it is just a desire i want, not like it is or already happening but if i have to think, perhaps the truth. What of girls that got pregnant by their boyfriends but ended up breaking up, don't they still get married again? I would tell him/her, the father we are not together. How about adoption? what do those parents tell the adopted child?

[/quote]Do you plan to get prego and married all at the same time?

Well i prefer to have the child before marriage.

[quote]

Igwe, the seeker and martho, b4 you guys crucify me I AM NOT AGAINST BLACK KIDS AND WOULD STILL HAVE SOME BLACK KIDS.
I NEVER SAID I DO NOT WANT BLACK KIDS NEITHER DID I SAY I WOULD DECEIVE PEOPLE IT IS MY HUSBAND. This is just my desire to have at least one. I AM NOT OBSESSIVE ABOUT MIXED KIDS.

i hope this doesn't sound stupid b4 all of u but i love mixed children, how they look but i'm sure i don't want to marry a white man. i still love my black guys but is it wrong to want to have at least one child from a white man but still not end up marrying him?

savanaha:
So if you are wanting to have a mixed child with a white man for aesthetic reasons, why not go for artificial insemination? That way there is no other man involved. Also do you truly believe that if you had a biracial child and then other black children you won't have favorites? I mean it seems odd that you want atleast one mixed child but you won't. . .

i neva even thought of this idea but thanks anyways. maybe i can't tell the future but i know i would love all my kids equally. this is just ne life to live, i've always wanted a mixed child, i don't know how wrong it seems but at the same time my preference is to marry a black/nigerian man especially.

sistawoman:
some things to think about:

The one child will look differently than their other siblings, thus the child will ask about dad. Are you prepared to tell the truth or will you lie.
The other children will notice your preference for that child and might feel slighted will you over compinsate.
Do you plan to have this child before marriage to a Nigerian man?
How do you plan to overcome the cultural stigma of being a single mom?

i don't have to lie, i would say the truth.
i plan to before marriage because i dont plan to look outside during my marriage.
i would still get married, wouldnt be a single mum.
i would love my kids equally, that's why they r all from me.

justwise:
My point exactly!!! That child will stand out in the mix of ur kids, he/her will start asking questions, u can not love them equally, u will divide ur family. Make up ur mind, sis

We know we all have one life to live and to make the best of it, it's my desire to have a mixed child, how do i make up my mind in such?

~Sauron~:
She wants a child from a Caucasian. . . . .I am not sure she said she wanted other kids from a black man.
The OP wants a child of a mixed-race without marrying the father. . . .

I still want other kids from the man I would marry, a black/nigerian man But i just want to have a mixed child at least and we all know a black/nigerian man cannot give mixed kids.

tpiah:
thread title says "want" anyway.

people's desires can change over time.

Most kids are cute regardless which race they are.

it's not really being cute that is the main reason, i just love mixed kids too.

tpiah:
so what you're actually attracted to isnt just the physical features, since many Hispanics also share those with whites.

anyway, as long as you're financially ok, it shouldnt be anyone's business, ideally.

yea, thanks. just the complications that may arise bothering me.

iice:
[color=#9900ff]Chinese is Asian[/color]

yea i know was just being sarcastic there

tpiah:
oh, ok.


btw, are you specific about race- as in does white here also include others like hispanic, asian, etc.

no hispanic, asian, chinese lol

tpiah:
"own"?

"trophy" kids, just like "trophy" spouses, dont always jar well.

I understand your desire since many black women like having mixed race kids. In fact, I once met a lady who had a mixed race child with no visible father either. She probably used artificial insemination and a sperm bank.

The situation just raises a little moral dilemma thats all. I'm not trying to be judgmental though.


Why dont you like the idea of marrying a white guy? Or at least letting the father have some input in his child's life?

i understand where u r coming from. well we know love is above and conquer all things, it's possible i could end up with a white man but when i say preference, i want a black preferrably nigerian man.

u r misunderstandin the word "own", just meant like having one of mine

savanaha:
So when you "marry" the Nigerian man with your biracial child are you planning on also having a black child or only parading the mixed kid as a great accomplishment?

oh yes! still have more kids that's y i emphasized on having at least "one" mixed child. i would still love all my kids equally, i just have the desire to have a mixed child not necessarily mixed children, at least one mixed child.

*Shentz*:
If you in your heart of hearts want to do so go for it! Personally I don't think its wrong. Why not? People do so all the time, you are not the first person to think so neither would you be the last!

i'm just thinking of what complications might arise

tpiah:
a lot of black guys have the same desire.

However, you do know raising a child isnt just about the physical features.

And if you want to have an out of wedlock child, are you financially able to support the kid on your own?

i would still get married so i think the financial aspect is covered up , preferabbly to a black man/nigerian but i have the desire to own at least one mixed child.

thanks mrbrownjay

i hope this doesn't sound stupid b4 all of u but i love mixed children, how they look but i'm sure i don't want to marry a white man. i still love my black guys but is it wrong to want to have at least one child from a white man but still not end up marrying him?

it is very nice and sad.

theolar:
hi ask wat u are good and turn it into a venture. Take my case as an example i love cooking i wuld go to pples house and offer to help dem cook i eventually startd my own caterin outfit and it pays my bill. What do u tink u are good at and enjoy doin?

i might be confused at to wat im good at, i dont really know, dats d reason 4 opening this thread and asking how i could find my talent.

dominique:
@poster
welcome to the land
No one here knows you better than you know yourself. Like theolar said, look for what you're good at and try to develop it. good luck.

dominique, thank u. i'm trying but i really don't know what i'm good at, that's y i asked how i could find my talent.

when i say extraordinary, i mean something to touch people. i am a complete human being, who says i cant be a fashion designer? who says i cannot sing or something i just have passions but dont know where or how to start

MrBrownJay
I am not a kid but a young lady. I don't know if i have the skills but as for modelling i am good looking does not mean i know if it's my calling. Sewing, i have not tried but thise people too learn. I just want to get out there and shine aside working class something non academics

I greet all of you. New to nairaland, don't know if this is the correct place to post this as I don't know much of this site.


Please does anyone know how i can find my/a talent, like i have so many dreams like singing, acting, model, writing books, charity organisation, artist, dancer, fashion designer, make up artist, best tailor, cook so much more but I don't know how to start or where 2 start 4rm. How can I get there?
pls stop by and help. thanx.

I greet all of you. New to nairaland, don't know if this is the correct place to post this as I don't know much of this site.


Please does anyone know how i can find my/a talent, like i have so many dreams like singing, acting, model, writing books, charity organisation, artist, dancer, fashion designer, make up artist, best tailor, cook so much more but I don't know how to start or where 2 start 4rm. How can I get there?
pls stop by and help. thanx.

I greet all of you. New to nairaland, don't know if this is the correct place to post this as I don't know much of this site.


Please does anyone know how i can find my/a talent, like i have so many dreams like singing, acting, model, writing books, charity organisation, artist, dancer, fashion designer, make up artist, best tailor, cook so much more but I don't know how to start or where 2 start 4rm. How can I get there?
pls stop by and help. thanx.

I greet all of you. New to nairaland, don't know if this is the correct place to post this as I don't know much of this site.


Please does anyone know how i can find my/a talent, like i have so many dreams like singing, acting, model, writing books, charity organisation, artist, dancer, fashion designer, make up artist, best tailor, cook so much more but I don't know how to start or where 2 start 4rm. How can I get there?
pls stop by and help. thanx.

I greet all of you. New to nairaland, don't know if this is the correct place to post this as I don't know much of this site.


Please does anyone know how i can find my/a talent, like i have so many dreams like singing, acting, model, writing books, charity organisation, artist, dancer, fashion designer, make up artist, best tailor, cook so much more but I don't know how to start or where 2 start 4rm. How can I get there?
pls stop by and help. thanx.