₦airaland Forum

IgadtSwag:
his thots, "what if u meet another person", his insecurities exactly.As I said,keep on talking on phone or however like nothings wrong,he'll eventually come to his senses.buh dont forget to pray.there may be no testimonies now but there will be.I bet you!!!

Good luck!

NB.
sent u an IM on yahoo!

Shouldn't i also be thinking what if he meets another too? I believe in prayers but i really believe this relationship is over.In between I didn't see any IM

d bigrod:
Poster,mediatrix8 has said it all.i want u to know dat ifevery cute guy and babe give attention to every person dat seek 4 it,then no one would be comfortable dating them.

U guys still don't understand. It was not like I was giving them some sort of attention.

iice:
[color=#9900ff]Story is too skeletal. You may have done something to trigger his breaking up with you.[/color]

That's what I just said his reasons were. he said I was enjoying the attention from other men which I feel should not be enough reason to break up with me if he really loved me. I was almost always with him.

IgadtSwag:
Whatever it is,from your post.u did no wrong(at least nothing tangibly wrong for the average mind).I would think that u loved him and to even come out here in the first place then u r not done loving him just yet.

'tell u what tho,if u don't want to loose him,i don't know what your religious background maybe but just pray, for him and pray for u.and also important is maintaining the communication like nothings wrong or amiss.I bet you in time he'll realize u r even worth his insecurities.

Good luck gurl and Puleez share testimonies when it works out.It may just save someone else

Thanks but i wish I have testimonies because he pretty much has made up his mind. He also said what if along the line, I meet someone else and all those sort of discussions. like you said, defense mechanism.

Ayowumie:
Let him go. U can never keep a guy that is bent on leaving you.

chiteny:
I don't know if i should say you are wrong by saying you did nothing wrong? The truth is that since you took no action against men who flocking around you and showing you "attention", you loved every bit of it. IMO this is not very right if you are in a relationship. If you guy is not giving much attention, speak your mind to him so he does. Yes he is not secure because he went thru similar experience in the past relationship. Maybe this one would turn to be the same so he opted out before history would repeat itself. You don't need to nag or be caught cheating before a guy breaks up with you. Seeing you hang around men and they give u so much attention suggests a lot.

What action was i supposed to take? Ok I agree maybe i could have done better or such but r u serious? Who would not love admiration? I did not do or show it in any way that deemed disrespectful. I also was not just hanging around men because of attention, some were my friends. I believe he opted out because of his large insecurity.

Osama10:
I think this would have saved your relationship.

C'mon, I never said i was spending all my time with other men. No I wasn't.

apocalypse:
I see where the problem lies , you enjoy the attention you get from your admirers and you let your boyfriend know. Don't you see anything wrong in that , I mean how do you want him to feel comfortable with all the attention you give them. Do you even make all know you have the best man in the world , if he sees anytime makes a pass at you bring him up and let the whold world know you love him I know things wouldn't be the way they are now

Am I not a human to enjoy being admired and appreciated? Stepping the boundaries mean me actually taking actions which i never did nor cheated. And who said I was giving them attention. Imagine walking to the store and like 4 guys stare and want to approach me, how is that my fault? At this point letting the world know anything seems late as I said he already broke up with me.

IyaBasira:
Are you guys serious?

She wasn't the one who went out soliciting male attention. The men come to her, not the other way round. You cannot blame the jewel for attracting attention if left out in the open. Why do you think museums guard precious jewels and paintings with round the clock security?
Let's face facts. I'm not saying that he should watch her 24/7. But the issue here is not her, it's him. If he was emotionally secure, what he would be doing is getting angry with the guys talking to her. But he's too scared to confront them for fear that one of them would probably say something like " Well , I'm sleeping with her anyway", because that would make him look like an absolute dunce.
So what he does is to blackmail her emotionally , blame her for being attractive because he resents the fact that she can leave him for any of the guys chasing her IF SHE WANTS TO.
What he's REALLY trying to do here is see where her loyalty lies.
If you have something pretty or valuable, other people are always going to want to take it away from you. It's a huge ego boost when you can take something that another person cherishes away from them. But you don't blame the item itself for being valuable. You guys telling her that she should minimize the time she spends with boys is just plain wrong. You may as well ask her to wear a hi jab just because you aren't comfortable with her being pretty.

Thank you my sistah for perfectly understanding where i am coming from. This is beyond my control. Maybe I could have done better or close to it but I showed him the best way I could. The problem is him but it hurts because I tried to show him, it was just him.

1one:
^^^em, actually, you WONT, remember that three letter word that has a (st) -ING- at the end?
AGE-ING? Its a term common to every teresstial this side of existence or perharps i should be asking you, how's the weather, in JUPITER

Funny enough, I brought it up to him at some point, that what is his worry. I would actually age one day so he would be secure but it still failed.

D-sense:
Pls cheer up nd let it go jor.I know how u feel but to enlighten it ,It might be from the attention u get from men that laid him to the decision. but sometimes we '' men'' feel like being freed, Cause we just want to be alone though he might love u oo but will be like ''i just want to be freed for now. Which means he might come back to u asking for u for marriage .Yeah.U got it?
Or he's in love with some1 else nd felt like getting u out of his league.Take heart.

Yeah I know that's what led to his decision but it hurts because I was faithful. if i was proud or such, then it would have been better.

1one:
my opinion may veer a bit off course in relation to the theme of other posters.so just be patient with me and indulge my creativity.
There was no mention in your post about your feelings past or present for this guy, If I may say I dont think you loved this guy, and that's why you used the word "loser" to describe how you feel, I think what you had for him was conscious commitment, you were commited to him and maybe the demands of the relationship that's why you feel like a loser having "invested" so much, so if my opinion is half as close as the shore from the sea,i'd suggest you just let him be and move on.

But this, as I said is just a product off my fertile imagination.I stand to be corrected

Of course if i didn't love him, I would not be here posting. I said I felt like a loser because I did not do anything wrong. We did not fight or maybe nag or cheat or such. I was the best I could be even as he said but just because of insecurity and trust issue? What am I supposed to do. I am a pretty young lady and would always be that way. I was with him and not anyone else so why the insecurity?

Yorisb:
[/b]

He ditched you and moved on? Well, on the account of highlighted lines I'm not sure he's moved on completely, and ergo you may still stand a chance of winning him back. GLuck!

I think he has moved on. That is what i feel. He is keeping in touch because i did not hurt him and do anything and even his friends are not really in support of his reasons breaking up with me. That he should have been patient.

kay177:
God himself said it that he is a jealous God, If he were to be the one enjoying the attention of other girls, its possible you would have gone to the extent of assaulting those girls, Its better you dance to the beat of his drum, rather than dancing and giving attention to side attractions,

it is human nature to appreciate that people are admiring you. I would lie if i said I did not enjoy it. Of course I did but the bottom line, was I with them? I was with him and it was him I was committed to. So are you saying that my crime is being beautiful and men admiring me? C'mon guys!

iaabc:
He's obviously dealing with issues from the previous relationship, so you can either be patient and hope he'll be back or simply move on and count it as an additional experience in life.

I am already moving on because my gut feelings tell me it is over for good. how can i be patient when someone told me it is over.

mediatrix8:
Girl,If you love your boyfriend sincerely,Try to avoid things that will lead him to be jealous ,instead try to win his trust by showing him that he's the only one,show him all your love be, loyal to him and limit your time with other guys.Keep a distance with other man .I wish you can get him back

He has already broken up with me and it seems inevitable. It looks like it is final. It is not like we don't talk. He sounded really made up. If i cheated or nagged or such, it would be better but I was good to him and showed him as much as i could. He had complained about the men that give me attention but I never cheated.

I feel like a loser. He broke up with me because he said he can not trust me. I don't know what else i could have done. I have never cheated on him or crossed the line or boundary. His last relationship before mine, his ex girlfriend just left him and got married within few months.
The only things that happened was me getting a lot of attention from men which is not my fault but I never cheated on him. The painful part is him telling his friends, I am enjoying the attention from men.
Why do good people tend to suffer. He still claims to love me and calls me every now and then.

FL Gators:
lol yw

One question, did you bake it?

One proposition, try frying it with Vegetable Oil.

i fried it with vegetable oil. i know it doesn't look so so great as in d shape but this period was just trying period and finally i got d ball shape(phew), next time, it would look professional

FL Gators:
Nice.

I bet your next one would look better and well expertised.

oh yes i don't mind even opening puff puff business now . finally after wasting all the flour but worth it

thanks hun, i really saw d difference

More

Thanks guys for your contributions, finally got what i wanted though not exactly d same professionally but the best so far.

FL Gators, u rock, i used carnation milk and eggs, put it in d oven and made it VERY THICK.

Here are some attached pics

it came out much much much much much much much better than d first trials.


come and join me guys ,

how i wish i did this in the afternoon but i'm happy all d same


oya how many of u want? let me share it all

If this one i'm trying again doesn't work out, i'm thinking my next option would be to make it so thick and mould it with hand into the ball shape and put in the oil.

Also i got a little confuse here, so many different recipes for this puff puff i don't really know what to use.

@FL Gator
wat does the milk do for the puff puff? also do i also have to add butter?


Have any of you tried it?? and did it work out fine?? pls tell me.

rubi:
Use deep frying pan and enough oil. If you use shallow frying pan and small oil it will be flat
Also don't put to much water but enough egg/magarine as risng and binding agent

FL Gators:
When is oil enough?
Yes, you can leave it for 6 hours. Mix it after midnight or the night before, leave it in the oven to rise, then fry it the next morning.

I think 2 packets of yeast should be enough, add carnation milk and maybe 2 eggs. Warm water, not cold water.

[img]http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/412A2CST2RL._SL500_AA280_PIbundle-18,TopRight,0,0_AA280_SH20_.jpg[/img]

xoxoxo:
Hi

Not sure of your recipe ingredients. While there are many reasons your dough won't rise, here are a few

Proofing: - Heat kill yeast. The dough has to be in a warm place, not a hot place.
Yeast and water: -Warm water is fine, about the same as body temp, if the water is too hot it will kill the yeast
Sugar and yeast go hand in hand (help yeast to grow faster). Maybe the measurement of the sugar does not match the yeast measurement
use the 'fresh yeast", to me it's the best (see pic)

I didn't know they add eggs in puff puff and milk but this time, i added egg, no milk and a lot of sugar. also made it a little thick. i

Na wa o, so nobody can help?

tpia.:
I havent made puffpuff for a long time, but maybe I will soon.

Also, did you notice if the dough rose or not, after you left it for two1/2 hours?

and did you beat or stir it again after it rose? You're not supposed to do so, because that lets all the air out and it loses the puffy shape.

Try "molding" the balls by hand or if you're using a ladle, dip it in water after each one.
Its like the technology behind dumplings, really, except puffpuff is fried instead of boiled.

Yes it rose but i dont know how much it ought to rise or how high?

i didn't stir it again

In other words, if u suggest me molding it by hand, i'm assuming i have to make it very very thick. i guess i would have 2 make it sooooooooooooooo thick so i could try moulding it by hand. i seriously want 2 get this right

spikedcylinder:
When I saw this in "recent posts", I couldn't help chuckling at the title.

bad girl wat were u thinking

FL Gators:
Did you add yeast?
That's the key ingredient

And when you mixed them all, did you leave the mixture for a while?
Usually, I oven warm it for like 6 hours before frying

tpia.:
you have to give it time to rise. If it doesnt, then check the yeast.

I added a lot of yeast don't really know how much more to add. Should i add like a lot a lot, almost covering the flour?

Also i left it for a while as they said 2 and a half hours. I didn't know u can leave it for 6 hours. i'm almost giving up in trying, it was ok but not the same usual taste or real ball like shape.

@fhemmy
I would have taken the pictures of d ones i made but couldn't find my camera



@mr crackles, maybe until u taste my jollof rice and other foods, u would b singing a different tune



P.S Has any of you tried it at home and got the real puff puff? wonder what exactly i'm doing so wrong.

Thanks all, i'm trying it again right now. I packed all the yeast  inside and made the mixing as thick as possible, now let me see if this would work i'm really wasting a lot of flour and ingredients because i really need to get this right

JeSoul:
Happy PuffPuffing!

not yet but i wish, let's see

chiogo:
The yeast matters oo. . . .you shouldn't put a lot but yeasts make em rise so I guess you're not putting enough.

i'm sure i put a lot or at least enough. i'll try the warm water though but im really wasting a lot of flour trying just because i want to get it right

Fhemmmy:
I will ask my Mom and post her answer.
But i love puff puff, especially the ghana people own, but have to soak the oil out of it sha, cos i cant eat with the oil.

Pls do for the first time I decided to try myself, did everything right but just can't get that ball shape.

dejiabim:
Once again I met a serious minded person. Beloved, all your you need is just simple branding. be a friend to business strategies and make it for life. I like you. Not yet I will soon post my replies at nairaland cos i've just registered my account. stay here soon.

Ok i'm waiting and i'm glad

I'm doing everything right but my puff puff still remains flat. pls what is wrong? anybody help? would appreciate.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-292511.0.html

that is my original post but still cannot find any specific answer. i know there are alot of people here in this section, that's y i'm posting here.

if you've find something extraordinarily u r doing or did, pls share

im tired of watching people do dofferent things, sing, dance, others but don't know what i'm able to do. I already have a degree in business, but i want something outside academics, work.

Help Pls

kalujohn:
I have a great book for your reading that is titled 'How to use your creative talent and make money' It is a great that you must read because it teaches you to discover your talent and make money form it.To get the book send me an email to johnkalu4christ@gmail.com. To your success. John

Is this a scam? i emailed u and u r telling me to send 1000naira to ur account for a book just like that?

Is this real? now i'm scared but i don't think they have access to members' IP addresses.

@Post u r a very beautiful girl. Don't mind what some others here are saying. You might not see it now but later on in the future, when u r older, you would one day sit and remember when u were younger and wish you had done a lot of things like dating, socialising. A heartbreak should ot hold you back from living ur life. D o not wait for too long, go dating so that you would not regret it in the future.

My approach might be wrong or selfish but i never saw it that way, that's y i was seeking opinions and i never said it was happening, this was just one of my thoughts. But as for my intentions, i am not a wicked person neither did i mean harm.

JustGood:
why cant you get married to the man you truly love and then have children that you can both adore and shower with love as they grow up?

Why do you think its such a great idea for you to have a bastard just because you think they have some kind of colour you like?

you are irresponsible, stupid, irrational and an absolute nutter!

r u sure you are not referring or describing yourself?

didi-t:
Personally i think people should be able to express themselves freely on nairaland , no matter how stupid they might sound, no one is perfect and we all believe we can get answers to our stupid or sensible questions here since we can't say they out to people we know, so poster please do whatever you feel like but whatever decision you make just make sure you can handle it now and later on in future.

thank you for this, that was why i initially stated, it might sound stupid but i seek opinions and most of them r already bashing like they mother theresa or have never though of something like this.

@frecklenez, @ least thanks for letting me know it's wrong, i just never saw it that way.

MRbrownJAY:
some women are making absolutely no sense in this thread.
poster NO, there is nothing wrong in wanting a mixed race child without having the father around.
first lets us forget about the kid's color. white, black or green shouldnt make any difference. thats just a person's choice and nothing else if they want to have the kid with a white man .
the problem (to most of you guys) is that she desires a kid and nothing more.
why is that a problem? maybe this lady do not want the hassle of having another person sharing the love of that kid.
if she never want to get married or have a husband to dictate what she can or cant do, then this is the only way to do it.
who are we to judge what a person does or want for her own self? let her live her life the way she see fit.


MY concern in this picture is the kid. although there is no proof that single parenting is worst than the usual 2 parents upbringing, there is surely a lack from that kids point of view. we know that single mothers can do a great job but it doesnt mean that 2 parents are any worse. any child should have 2 parents if possible and no mothers should plan babies as a single parent (if the guy leaves, thats a different ball game)
what you probably should do is find a white guy that you might like and take it from there. you dont have to marry him (this is 2009) but let him be in that childs life so that the child can have an understanding of who he is and better chances for the future.

there is nothing wrong with wanting lighter kids with softer hair etc, just like someone who would prefer a boy rather than a girl, its called preferences.

exactly preference, i'm happy u understand, my approach may be wrong but my intention isnt wrong like some of these people r bashing me harshly. i would want to get married and still have a father, if i meet a white man, i love, i would marry, i just said as most of us africans, we want to also marry our african men but i desire to have a mixed child.

I've seen all the replies, thanks both the bad and good but the fact is some of you should understand it before lashing out.

FIRSTLY BENINCITYs, point of correction, I NEVER said I would not or never marry a white man, It is VERY possible, I only stated I've never seen myself marrying a white man, especially coming from Africa, how many of you would initially plan to marry a white man, even your parents wou;d they agree? I just sai I've always wanted to have a mixed child but of cause I want to marry a black/nigerian man, but if it happens along the way, love, i could still end up with a white man or anyone from any race for that matter.


@Chaircover, yes i'm not going to lie to you, i don't admire, the curly hair and as for lightskinned, i'm a very lightskinned african but when you say wicked thoughts, i don't really understand and that was why I came on here to ask if i was wrong because I really didn't see anything wrong.

davidylan:
why people are still responding to this infantile thread is a mystery to me.

suit urself, it's not compulsory u stop by. i have already gotten more than enough opinions. i dont know wat i said wrong in sharing my thoughts and seeking opinion.

Moretheless, thank you all for your opinions.