₦airaland Forum

Answers to the numerous qtns asked so far.
1) My parents are late. lost my mum 1970 and my dad yr2000.
2) If ds marriage crashes, I dnt intend taking another wife, my father lived without a wife since 1970 that my mum died till his death in yr 2000 at the age of 80
3) I am the sole financier in the home. I have set up nemerous biz for my wife but she jst cant do anything succesfully, so she has decided to join my biz, a sector i left for her to manage but she failed to sustain the biz as well
4) I have siblings 3females and 2 males but xtians and lover of peace, they kept asking me to pray and God will make changes. Non is aggressive enough to move in and help inpact any intimidation. I am d last born.
5) I have 2 kids frm her, females 6 and 3 yrs
6) Its actually a mistake that I said 5 yrs, its up to 7 years, she (MIL) moved in when husband died, and wldnt jst leave
7) my MIL has not been living with her husband since my wife was a kid, I guess she cldnt cope with d polygamy of the husband e had 5 wives
My wife siblings dnt seem to want to interfer, none has called me to iron out a solution, even all the quarrels i hav had with my MIL non of her sons has come to talk to me about it. And of course they do visit her in my home, cos most times am at wrk. I only enjoy the comfort of my home on sundays in the morning when my MIL wld hav gone to church by 5.30am,

UPDATE, , she called me yesterday night at weds 22nd by 9pm that she is sick and at my office, whereas i was at a frnds house helping him fill online visa application form for united state, he, his wife and son. So i tld her am not aaround and may not come back until morning. She asked where am I, and I tld her am somewhere doing a job for some1. Apparently she wld knw who dt my frnd is st i will be in his home dt late cos ive been going there to assist him and do some jobs for him. She sent me a text tht she said she is sick and i didnt shw any care, I replied dt she supposed to tell her mum not me since she is not ready to do my will.

@scud and switosman, thanks! Points noted.

@Blazay. thanks a lot! I appreciate ur contribution. Sounds good, though difficult to swallow. But I knw gd advices are always like that. Hoping more people will respond and am willing to give in to popular opinion.

@Blazay, thanks for your contribution. I dnt feel comfortable looking her in the eyes again. I just hope she leaves b4 I get back home and I will reconcile with her afterwards. Am not comfortable with her in my home, I feel she is influencing and ganging up with my wife. Actually I discovered my wife was having a relationship, she admitted but claimed the guy was just toasting her. He pays visit to her at shop and calls her regularly. I insisted tht my wife shld nt having anything doing with the man anymore. After a while I caught her on phone with him for close to 30mins. It looked like a sweet conversation, cos my wife was smiling and stood away frm her shop and pple. She didnt see me though. I went home and when she got home I checked her phone but she has deleted the call. I quaried her and after some denials she admitted and claimed she deleted the call cos she doesnt want me 2 knw she talked with the man, dt it was biz they were discussing. Next day she said her phone is missing, and started using her mum's. Now I wnt knw whos's call is coming in, my wife or her mum's. I saw some strange number that called very early on sunday morning. It was a misscal and both of them were nt in. When my wife came back i asked her who it was, she said she doesnt knw d man. When d mother came, she claimed to knw him.
Now our last quarel was dt my cousin called, he cldnt get to my number so he called d 1 my wife used to call him, it now happened to be with her mum cos she now has her own phone. My cousin tld her to ask me to call him. When she tld me, I asked her to let me see the number my cousin use to call her so I can call that same number, she refused saying afterall i shld hav d number. When I insisted she said she cant give her phone to me. I felt embarrassed, and that action made me feel there's something strange she cld be hiding.

Hello NL, I need honest and serious people to advice me on what I am going through right now. My mother in law has been living with my family, I usually have quarrels with her especially related to argument or quarrel with my wife. B4 marriage, myself and my wife had agreed that no family member will live with us especially her mum, who hated me during my courtship with my wife cos am not an Igbo man. Though presently I dnt see the hatred anymore, but I feel with her in my house my privacy is taken away frm me and over familiarity is making us loose respect for each other. I have tried many times to make my wife persuade her mum tp leave to no avail. its been over 5 years now that she's been with us.
Eventually my last quarrel with my mother in law made me to leave my home start sleeping in the office and I told my wife to let me knw when her mum has moved out otherwise I will not come back home. Its been 4days now and my wife never called, never text, evrything is just silent. It seems I will be spending xmas and new year in my office. What do I do, hope i took the right action? Please dont make a joke of this, its a serious issue dt i need people's advice on. Thanks!

where is ur location, am in if its favorable distance. Yes am bored!

i sent you a mail, it came back failure delivery. Maybe you need to re-write your email clearly. Mine is gfhotee@yahoo.com You may add me n yahoo so we can have a chat.

@BENNYGEE, I dnt knw if ure married or ever been married b4, otherwise u wont ask such qtn. A lot changes after you get married that doesnt seem to exist while courting. Some spouse are good at pretending just to make you see how good they are compared to others you may have or see around you. But once they get there, in ur home they feel free to exhibit their real self. Dnt ask me to shut up, that a rude language, am not here for insult, its an issue that bothers me, my matrimonial home, so if you dnt have any good advice just stay out, Thanks!

@ OMOLULU, I have spoken with her several times, she isnt a graduate so there is no good job that will be better than all the investments i have opened for her. When we started I have a very good business, I am a graduate and I have established myself, all that time she isnt working, she comes to work with me and we dont really have to work than direct the workers and make supplies, cos i was into production. But now that business isnt thriving anymore so my income now isnt enough for the standard i have set for my family, i have adjusted that which i can, but cant change the kids schools which are very expensive so i have been working very hard to cover up but its not easy for me and my wife cant just handle it, she seems too cold for me.

So far I see some pple are not matured to giv advises, but some are very sensitive and carefully spelt out their opinion. I hav learnt alot and I think d best is be taken in. My decision is to trim down my coat and let her be independent on wht she can do and wht she cant handle.
I thnk tht lapses in her, I just have to endure and adjust where it hurts. Thanks to the Good matured pple on NL.

I need a well to do woman (AGE DOESNT MATTER) that needs a strong-willed, sexy, business oriented and hardworking man for support and dating only. Am 42, dont look it, strong and sexually active, married but my woman seems to be the laziest in the world. I work so hard to keep the family going and where I need her support she starts well and frizzle out in few weeks. I have established her in businesses 4 times with capital ranging from N100k to N2m and she has nothing to show for it, all 4 attempts failed. Now she is involved in my business only to abscond every now and then. I think I need to have a feel of a striving and success oriented woman. If anyone is interested please send me a private mail to gfhotee@yahoo.com