loooollllzzzzz..so interesting.

Naija guys and ladies are really intelligent.
Different opinions; some address why the situation exists, others talk about why the situation will continue. Still others don't even think there is a situation to salvage.. and yet, others redirects the question to the opposite gender while backing their grounds with tenuous examples. ....#
Difference dey between disagreement and understanding o.
When it gets to sensitive issues like this, we've got our decisions to make. However, though I may be wrong i think..things do not work ONLY because decisions are right and when it doesnt work out, it doesn't make a decision wrong.
Truth is that not everything in life is about right and wrong, do's and don'ts especially issues like this. It's mainly about perspectives and believe me there are lots of interesting perspectives to this.

I think we all know what works well for us while learning from the experiences of others both +ve and -ve. While we keep an open heart to learn more from one another, realize that it may not be our favorite person that tells us what we need to learn and work on. No need for attack..lolz... As all of us dey look this thread, we know where the thing pinch us. In the we really do not have anything to prove to anyone. We only have one obligation to ourselves: self-honesty. The most important thing is learn but and tell yourself the truth.
I hail naija well well..

Nairaland reminds me of a line in late lucky dube's song: Different Colors, One People


Peace Out

Sezua:

unfortunately many people won't see the most reasonable​ comment about this post.
I salute u sir!!

Thanks sir....#appreciation

Nice one op.
I believe it's directed towards all those who desire a marital union cos its obvious from some of the comments from ladies here that being married isn't a criterion for happiness....
Anyways My 5 cents,
Reason 1....Some of them have been jilted unfairly early in life and maybe failed to grow emotionally and are still scared of losing their hearts again. However, to counter that, If you never use your heart to love, who cares when it gets broken?

Reason 2....Some make a choice. Maybe environmental background or advise suggests that when they are older than a certain age they could settle. Again, we will always learn everyday. Marriage is the only institution you receive a certificate before you begin....

Reason 3...The attitudes. Oh, lawd! the attitude of some ladies make u want to cringe!!! Some are unnecessarily rude without cause, some believe that they are divine gift to man and therefore show an extreme level of pride cos of attention left, right and centre. Some get so choosy and blind their eyes to true intentions. If a man is financially dependent, has ambitions, worthy goals but not as rich as you would want him to be....I think if a lady despises such a man,she needs to be checked again. What prevents you from also sharing your ambitions or goals with him abi you nor get? Have something worthwile your are working towards, maintain a positive attitude of where you are headed and watch how he will unleash his undending stream of love and support towards you.

Reason 4..Preconceived Ideas..When you prejudge an event or person, you will almost find nothing good. Imagine a lady telling me the other day; All men are the same no matter what. How do you prejudge a person before getting to know him..then i told her i assumed she was going to be married to a woman..When she forbade it, I asked her; Then why do you pray to God for a kind, loving and chaste mate if all of them are already the same, does it make sense? Keep an open heart dear ladies..

The truth is; if you are one who desires marriage, not getting a suitable mate at a certain time can have its emotional toll on you either male or female. It's not easy for our ladies out there. We know they go thru a lot.

If you are a lady and fall within the scope of this thread, you know if you have some homework to do. You know where the shoe free you or pain you. We are not perfect doesn't mean we would not try. Why not look for the nuggets of wisdom from all the comments and improve yourself; attitudes, goals, open hearts?

All the best to the ladies.


Peace Out

...A hybrid of both will be nice.However, it should tend more towards a little of streetiness in the intelligent guy than intelligence in the street guy. Besides, a lady can teach the academic man how to improve his social life. If he is responsible, and adds a little social flavor... Babe thats tripple A standard...

Amarabae:
Intertribal marriage is a choice, some fancy it, some do not..
All the same, if any one want to go into intertribal relationship, he/she are free to. Its their choice.

I do wish more people see it from this angle. I have a friend who wanted to tie the knot with a lady from the east. His dad was vehemently against it. Even threatening to disown him. He used phrases like "Selling our culture", "belonging to a foreigner" ..... He went ahead to tie the knot in the registry. Years down the line, they got to love the lady. The father says that she is the best Igbo girl he has ever seen. An he told the dad: "she is the best to me cos she is my wife. However,there are more if only we dropped this blindfold and gave them a chance".
Im wondering what happens if two people fall in love and cos of ancestral stereotyping end up marrying one they do not love. When problems arise later in marriage... and he or she decides to think about the los-love..it can kill.

nkowalo:
mmmmmmmm. my dear I can date any tribe but not hausa Muslim. they are not good oooo, they can give love portion for africa. even your family no go know you again

Lmao.. really? how sure are you bout that?

marvin902:
people make up tribes..
my only concern is the rate at which the east and west are after each other heads..
is almost seen as a taboo for Yorubas and igbos to have any business together..
a friend of mine wants to get married to an igbo girl and the trouble heading their way just amazes me
just cause hes yoruba...

True tho. A lotta preconceived ideas breeds the fear of the unknown. You see families, parents and friends try to advise the intending couple thru sermons to guard them against what they themselves can't really explain or defend.

asuustrike2009:

Would you blame them for such generalisation when it's obvious most persons exhibit such traits. Culture has always been one of the mitigating factors to behaviour of man kind. There are very few persons that don't behave the way certain tribes, places or people behave, you would wonder why. That's were education comes in because it reset your thinking of the way to do things, to accept people for who they are. If we had enough persons being exposed, stereotyping of people would have reduced drastically. It's because Inspite of education most persons are not ready to be exposed. They tend to hold their culture to high esteemthat they behave as they like. An average igbo man likes money, an average bini person likes travelling to Italy, an average urhobo man is polygamous in nature, among others. This traits have become a norm and a way of life for these tribes. I was thinking that the introduction of nysc would expose us to things like this so as educate one another but it failed woefully. To change this trend, it's important that each and everyone of us change some of this traits our tribes are accused of for a better society. The change begins with us.

Disclaimer The above analysis of various tribes are based on judgemental sampling and observations

I love this. 100% Objective.

dingbang:
I think people make up tribes...

On point sir. They make up tribes. So i guess it's the qualities of people that is seen that should be looked into not judging them based on tribes.. fair?

Kondomatic:
I will not talk to/with you bro because it is impossible to be honest and not sound like a tribalist.

Thanks for your honesty in airing that. But of i may ask, what do you think the right thing should be?

I get baffled alot by this issue. Why do we stereotype people or tribes based on general assumptions? We even advise one another to desist from forming friendships or marriage alliance with certain tribes; This tribe is so rude, that tribe loves money, this tribe is so dirty, that tribe is so arrogant, authoritative and proud and the list goes on...

Sometimes we hear that south-south men are authoritative. Then i wonder; are these people authoritative because they are from the south-south or they are authoritative because they are men?

We also hear that a particular tribe loves money. Again i ask; Was there no love of money before the formation of that tribe?

Do tribes makeup people or people make up tribes?

Fellow Nairalanders, please feed-in your perspectives...

Let's talk....

Scented:


Part of the job of a management trainee would be to be smart enough to have an eye to pick out a flaw and the guy was right to state a perceived flaw in their grammar, I also didn't think it sounded correct when I first read the email. Take a look at how that sorzy1 guy expressed his view concerning it maturely but the niyinficient did his in a condescending manner saying he shouldnt bring such attitude to the Assessment center, let me give you some education Mister, a penchant for spotting a flaw is one attitude you need to bring to the assessment center for your information okay?

Thanks for the education ma'am. Sincerely appreciate.

Success to everyone!

prettyboy5:


So because someone expresses his opinion concerning the correctness of a statement on a forum meant for discussion you would be saying all this trash? The last comment I made on Nairaland was in 2008 but I have to comment today because of this type of your attitude.

Mind you that at the assessment centre, team spirit and ability to give others a listening ear would be tested, and you display high level of rudeness and unprofessional conduct, change from that bro.

Bro, try understand his context. He isn't putting him down. What he is only saying is that such attitude may not go a long way in helping him. That is, despite the whole email body that was sent, the only thing he could pick out was a perceived flaw. It kinda (tho maybe wrong to you sha)portray an attitude that fights against the team spirit you rightly talked about. It's more like trying so hard to look for a flaw and forgetting to focus on the overall positivity. I believe that's what he meant by not bringing such an attitude. You also have a very strong point too. All the best to us.

Peace out

......and when he comes along they remember that's there is that standard their prospective guy must have that the OP forgot to talk about. Then go for another one that has little or nothing and who also to him has everything to gain and nothing to loose. After being bruised, they say we guys are all the same.
Ladies, they exist. Forget modern trends and read in between the line. Between dark and white exists many shades of grey.

Wait...Wait... Kwontinu

Sirhethat12:
The word "Eden" is an Hebrew word for "where God dwells", so the first thing God gave man was "His Presence".

(1)So the first thing a man needs is NOT a woman; it is the presence of God, and a woman should meet him in the presence of God. Eve met Adam in Eden.

(2)The next thing God gave man after putting him in the Garden was WORK. (Gen. 2:15). God gave man work before giving him a woman. That means a man needs a job before he gets a woman. God's priorities are very clear.

(3)The third thing God told man was "Cultivate"...... Cultivate here means, bring out the best in everything around you, to maximize the potentials of everything and everyone around you; to make everything fruitful. He only said that to the male. That's why God will never give a man a finished woman. The male was created by God to create whatever he wants. The woman you are looking for doesn't exist; she's in your head. Your job is to take the raw material you married and cultivate her into the woman in your head. So you have been married for 20yrs and you still don't like the product you get, that's your fault.

(3a)If your wife is putting a little weight and you don't like that, don't criticize her; it's your job to wake her at 6am, " Hey baby, let's go jogging".

(3b)You don't like her dress? Take her to a boutique and buy her clothes you like.
(3c) She can't speak good English? Send her to school and pay her tuition fee. CULTIVATE HER!!!!

(4)The fourth thing God said to man was, "Guard the Garden". The man has to be the protector of everything under his care. That's why God gave you a stronger bone frame. A bigger muscle mass, not to abuse the woman, but to protect the woman.

(5)The last thing God gave man was his Word... God told man not to touch the tree; God never told the woman about the tree, NEVER!!!..... Which means it was the man WHO received the word of God and his job was to teach his wife the word of God.
NOTE: Nothing frustrates a woman like when she asks her man "So what do you think" and the dummy answers "what ever you think is OK"....or keeps quiet. ..Giving Silence...mmmm.
Don't do that bro, don't do that. She's looking for knowledge and direction. That was the last command God gave to man in Vs 17.

★Now watch this: in verse 18, God said, "It is not good for this man to be alone". Now, don't just read the statement fast, read it again slowly, " it is not good for THIS MAN to be alone".
WHAT MAN
Answer : The man who is:
*In his presence
*Has a job (working)
*Can Cultivate you
*Can protect you
*Can teach you.
So here's the problem:

★ if you meet a man who doesn't like God's presence, isn't working, can't cultivate you, can't protect you and can't teach you, then.....
IT IS GOOD FOR THAT MAN TO BE ALONE! *Full Stop!*

source: myles-munroe-relationships-and-

Nice one. Though i think it's all about balance. A woman was created as a complement so he needs to have those qualities, true. So she will have something to complement. However sometimes we yield to the decisions or thoughts of a woman not because we wouldn't have an idea of what to say but for the fact that it still part of what dignifies her.

For the dummy answers part: Come to think of it. A man isn't perfect so from time to time he will make mistakes. Sometimes that yielding is what makes the woman set things right with her certain decisions that if the man had made,could impact negatively on the home. While the man has a role to play, i think it's complementary for both parties and most importantly its about balance cos balance creates happiness.

our points are mostly in sync, but Nice one though.

Ruggedfitness:


These exercises mostly focus on the lower body, so I might assume you are an athlete (runner) or a footballer

sure. Tho i still have a problem building endurance during games

Ruggedfitness:


Okay about the body fat issue.. There are people who have gotten rid of body fat without exercising at all... I believe exercise is to make you look good and live longer... that is why I do it..

So I agree with what you said about watching the things we do when we are not exercising...

What are your favorite exercises?

The wall seat and treadmill..

lolzzzzzzzz.... So how una go gauge power to know say you fit beat am?

Abeg to me o.... It should never come into the picture. When you quarrel with your best friend you they beat am? Then how does one beat is wife if she is his bestfriend? Make your spouse your friend so if friction comes, where romance doesnt work, friendship will sort things out...

Beat ke...Very wrong!!!

vikiylove:
Biko fitnessdoctor.. Is there anything wrong with exercising everyday??

Mehn! i follow tire o. everything dey get small small modification. maybe somebody don read say take fruit and has gone to order one trailer of oranges to they suck 10 10 daily. E go just read this one weak..

Anyways me i thinkbody fat bulds up from the things we consume and it will reduce partially after burning it through exercise. However, the most important thing about body fat building up are the things we do when we are not exercising. Which is what i feel we need to watch out for more.. My thots anyway sha...

Thing is... there is a difference request and demand o.
permit me to talk about it on the following grounds: 1. It is a no-sex-before-marriage relationship. 2. They both truly love each other.

Based on the aforementioned conditions, she has no right to demand money from him cos truthfully he really owes her no obligation at all, since they are still courting. When it comes to requesting, a lot is involved. How long the "friendship in the relationship has grown" and how deep too. Honestly girls i know who truly love their guys hardly request every now and then and also, guys i know who truly love their girls find no hesitation in giving. and who says He could not also request from her. It's not foolishness by any measure. Yes you are dating. But you are also friends. Dont you request things from friends both guys and ladies alike? Bar the naughty guys and ladies; have u ever begged before on the road? It's never easy to do so. It's similarly not easy to request something from someone you are not comfortable with. When she requests and you don't have it, transparency comes in and vice versa. He or she is more or less saying; "I'm comfortable with you enough to let you into my needs. Can you assist? Since the relationship wasn't built on that there will hardly be any issues. True love is about friendship and friendship is more bout giving than getting.

Fastforward to marriage, both parties then have obligations toward each other.

Why this issue raises lot of straws in the air is that the relationships all around us most times is based on gratification and instant fixes.
Until we face the real issues lets not be surprised that what we pursue still comes back pursing us. When we replace love with gratification, we'll see the real difference.

Breaking the habit depends on your mindset and your strong resolve to fight it. Some side effects are; loss of motivation to achieve your goals, inability to think clearly, always feeling physically and mentally weak, you may begin to have a degrading view of women and men as mere tools for sexual satisfaction which is NEVER TRUE cos every human has dignity. Even your job sometimes suffers, and social anxiety and esteem issues will pop u. If your addiction is that deep, you've got a real fight on your hand which you have got to start sooner than later.

[/i]But, it is a gradual process. You did not form the habit overnight , so my friend you can't kill it overnight. But with each gradual fight even in the face of relapse, maintain a positive attitude, it will carry you all the way thru. [[i]

nonsense.....na this kind thing u dey tell me as i dey sip my moringa abi?