The lady said WE DON'T MATCH!!!

Leme tell you the story::it's friday night afterall)


...So I saw her picture on her cousin's DP and she had this cute smile. I requested her cousin link us up. We got talking and finally met. She has excesses, which i was ready to bear up with. I loved her for who she was, and also for her weaknesses, while assisting her in the way I could. When i told her, she said she we don't match. I accepted. Then she lost her job, stood by her, assisted her till she finally got another one.

We built up a connection, when i asked why she said we didn't match here was her response; I'm thinking seriously about what i earlier said.

I gave myself some months to keep being there for her, maintaining a balance between love, respect and "see-finish" ...she would disrespect me, flake out on dates, chat anyhow, snub chats. She mistook my kindness and love for weakness and desperation. Sometimes I ignore, other times, when I felt it was necessary, I call her out to it. One night I called her, and asked if we were on the same level emotionally...She said; I'm sorry, no. She could have just told me without pretending to be in tune.

I wasn't too heartbroken though..because if she could take my love for granted once, she could do it again. She was too full of herself and believed that I couldn't live without her. Yes, I am faithful to a fault in a relationship, I tolerate a lot of things, i don't cheat at all, not even entertaining the thought but that doesn't mean I don't have my personal respect and dignity to protect. I showed her i loved her very much...but it was time to show her i wasn't afraid to loose her.

Funny thing is that I'd already planned our marriage and honeymoon for early 2019. My last words to her were; I lost someone who didn't value my love..but you have lost someone who really love, care, cherished and respected you for who you are. I'm not the best there is but you'll look for me in the next people you'll meet. But cos i love you, i honestly hope and wish the next person will give you better than all i have given you a million times and more.



The next day she called, and called and called till my battery went out. I never took the calls. She tried to reach out, but I was gone. I took a week break from all media to get myself back mentally at 100%.

She tried reaching out...every way, but i ignored. When we finally talked, I told her, i love you but only as a friend. The romantic part will always be there, but it's an emotion i will NEVER act on whether i remain single or get married. Funny thing is whenever i snap with a lady and update her picture, she's always jealous. There was one of my close friend i snapped with. Looked like we were dating from the picture pose... She saw it and called me several times, i didn't pick. This girl quickly called her cousin, telling her cousin to call n beg me that we had unfinished business...She called again, when i didn't pick, she sent me a text which was a hell of a stinker and ended it with: Life goes on, you don't force a relationship.... complete drama queen.


Love is a bird, she needs to fly. It could fly open or could fly broken. I flew open because i gave my all to make it work, without any regrets.
I dey face my life, jeje,not sending any female at all relationship-wise....hopeless romantic? Someone called me that.

*curtain drops*

IamLovely:



somehow i doeses

Paid back...in full

IamLovely:



I agree three

Haaal...you didn't modify my quote did you?


Lolzzzzzz

Benita27:
My dear, no matter how you paint it. You've made some sense but the odds are not in our favour so women are never advised to make that move 'cause the heart of man can't be looked into. Speaking based on Sampling; majority is taken into consideration. If out of 100%, 90 says "Don't woo me" then the opinion of the 90 is taken and not that of the small fraction. You constitute the smaller fraction. even men don't want to be wooed, and don't take such relationships seriously like they would in a relationship the reverse was the case. So please, don't advise your sister or friend to, even though, I know you're trying to be objective but I'm just being realistic here. The odds are not in our favour once again.

Your thoughts.. i respect that too..

Osasmd:

Nice write up

I agree too.

Benita27:
Don't woo guys. You'll be used like a piece of tissue and dumped afterwards 'cause most of them are opportunist when it comes to this.

Don't say I didn't warn you!. Woo them at your peril. Men are wired to hunt, not to be hunted.

lolz. I may be wrong, but i really don't think so...it's not all black or white. Beautiful grey shades exist.

Actually, some of my close friends are females who approached me for relationship...

I couldn't give love, cos i didn't feel it for them romantically.

But one thing i always gave to them was respect, especially during the "getting-over" phase. Respect cos if it's hard for guys to approach a lady, it's 10times harder for a lady to do same. When i was in a relationship, i told them i had someone i really cared about.. When i had no one and i just did not tango with them, i simply appreciated them and respected their words. Tho they didn't get what they wanted, It made them stronger. And i learnt that quality from them in dealing with setbacks.

And I wasn't rich...was just a good-for-nothing fellow trying to find his feet in the corporate world. So when they expressed their affection, it was easy to sense its genuineness.

Guys, if a lady comes up to you with a proposal, even if you reject it, Always make them feel appreciated at the same time drawing the balance so you wouldn't lead them on.

Ladies if you feel you feel it's beneath your personal vales to approach guys romantically, then wait cos they will approach you definitely.

However, if u feel you can approach a guy you like, feel free. Create value for yourself as that value will speak for you. Even if you put yourself out and do not get it right, believe me there's so much strength in vulnerability.

Rapmoney:
My friend, let me tell you, it is the same religions that were created by men that tell you to do this, do that, don't do this and don't do that. Have you ever wondered why some religious doctrines have been modified? That's because they no longer support the lives of those who presented them to us.

I have seen people do very senseless things all because of what they believe religiously. I know a religious leader who drives on the road and people take the soil that his car tyres pass (a machine built by man), pour it in cups with water and drink it as if they are 'soaking' garri. I see poor wretched folks do this several times while their lives still remain same.

I don't doubt those things happens. Worse things even happen. My point is that, it's a case of people claiming giving a different edge to the purpose religion should serve. It doesn't mean religion doesn't have a purpose to serve. And you saying that,it's the same man that created religion.... Man diversified it, however God has always had his principles for those who want to worship him in the right way.


Why don't you check jw.org at your spare time and lets talk bout your findings? A lot about religion is handled there as well as other questions of pertinence.

[quote author=Rapmoney post=59044691][/quote]

What if the one who created man wants to be worshiped? The worship rendered through a particular arrangement is what's called religion. Granted we all have freewill. But even at this point you know that with freewill to make decisions comes responsibility. If i went to pick a knife to slit my hand, no one will likely hold me. I make my decisions, but hey! I suffer the consequences of my actions.

Since a divine being created us, worshiping him in the right way should teach us that we can our lives within moral boundaries. Set not by us, but that divine being.

You mentioned the Japanese. Good. We ultimately are responsible for what happens to us. No differing view on that. However we have not been given the ability to set standards for ourselves for what is right and wrong. Since we choose to set such, that's why the poverty, war, crimes abound. Because rather than conform to moral codes of the universe as set by the one who created it, we dominate each other to our injuries.

So sir, we make our decisions and we take responsibility BUT, the bad effects of decisions can be severely limited if we recognize the fact that we were not created to set certain standards, and we conform fully to the One who has the legal right to set such standards.


He has left us such standards..but will never force us to follow them. If we follow them, we will enjoy a better life..if we do not, he will forgive us if we truly are down at heart but won't shield us from the consequences.

Remember what they say: If education is expensive, try ignorance...and they also said, ignorance of the law isn't an excuse...

It has always been in the heart of man to look up to a divine or supreme being. Whatever form that "being" exists in, is what accounts for the diversity we see all around. Whether we like it or yes, the environment we live in, the things we do, our thoughts shape us into whoever we have become. So like all these, religion should shape our thoughts.

But the question is: If it shapes the thought of people negatively, is it then a case of the definition of the God or a proof of a "wrong religion"?

Deep. Really deep.

Guys, Guys, Guys, let's all get easy on this...
Lol. I love this forum!!!! It makes my day to read how brilliant minded we Nigerians are.

Amarabae's write-up is based on her own perspective of things, and i'm sure if you quote her to backup her writings with examples, she will provide more than enough. For the antagonists, you can also provide examples to show that your points are also valid. But i can assure you all one thing...in each of these examples you give, pertaining to relationship and marriage, only the end results are the same. The circumstances leading to the end are never the same and most times you never have all the facts. A little example; we both loose N1000. However, yours could drop from your bag, while mine could fall off thru a leaking pocket. But in the end we both lost money. But the events leading to the loss are never the same.


Sensitive issues like this are not bout right and wrong. Decisions do not go well just because they are right and if they don't go well, it doesn't make them wrong. Sometimes, we can only control what we can and hope for the best. Hard-work really pays, be it a male or female. Apart from the spending bla bla, it gives a high sense of fulfillment to work hard at something and earn it. Some people have companies, businesses, great plans on-going but how much control do we all have for example, over an economy that taxes the common man to death?

For the working class, sometimes things could suddenly go sour. Situation changes, we all have down-times and need to get up back. Some people can manage down-times when dating, some wont be able. If you are one of the guys who can, provided you have some basic projections, head on. If you can't as a guy, then you know where your priorities lie. It isn't even in making money cos the problem is far deeper than that. It's about discipline and control which will even serve you well enough when you now make cool dough.

Nairalanders, we all know the things we gain or not from here. We all know where the shoes hurt us. If affected, time to adjust our steps in the shoes so we will be able to walk some miles further. For those quoting Amarabae, even if she reframes this write-up in the sweetest way to coat our egos or bruises, some will still see it differently. Maybe a little soft-points were hurt but it's not a bad write up to me anyway.

Some will always agree, some will never. Agreement is not the same as understanding. Honestly, not all can agree to a particular line of thought but we can understand and that's most important. There are nuggets of wisdom all round this forum, her thread inclusive (bar the insults and lewd jokes). We can always present our views without disrespect to another....Let's strive to find them in write ups. It will go a long way to aid our well-rounded view of matters.

..and with the differing ideas and views who says variety isn't the spice of life after all...?

Great perspectives in here...I learn a lot every day from you guys.

KingGem:
So I met this guy at my best friend's boyfriend's birthday party... At that time he was hitting on me but I wasnt interested so I just snubbed him... Then this last weekend, my friend invited me for a hangout and honestly I didn't know it was at the guys house. I got to find out when I got there and I was told. I didn't have a problem with it cuz I felt he would be over trying yo hit on me but he kept hitting on me and I got high, he was high too, one thing led to the other, we started kissing (I wouldn't lie, I was quite aware of everything happening and I didn't try to stop it) from kissing, we went inside. One thing led to another and I had the greatest sex of my life.... Next morning, he made me feel extremely great about myself, it didn't feel like a one night stand, he refused to let me leave that day and made us stay the whole weekend in his house.... I had never felt so wanted and special, he made me breakfast in bed, acted like we were dating and had known each other forever.... But now the problem is I'm scared, i grew to really like him over the weekend but my friend said he's a F**K BOY and she has heard him bragging to her boyfriend about how many girls he has had sex with.... I really like him, he's exactly the type of guy I've always wanted and he didn't seem to me like he is a f**k boy.... How do I know if the way he treated me the whole time was just pretence or if he really does like me....

While you do not toss what your girl-lady said away just like that.....By all means, stay away from any sexual relations with him. And take time to get to know the true person he is at heart, That's the recipe for a successful relationship.

Wey i go dey play video game for game centre (Mortal Kombat 4)..I dey form don na, den i con see my mumsy...Only the look for her eye make me drop pad. Na ear dem use take drag me go house da day. My ear almost cut....When we reach house and mumsy don change from skirt to that white short knicker, I know say i don die...shey flog me so tay, even she con begin cry....

Guess what?

The next three days, i dey game centre... I was that addicted..
The year was 2002...Feb

onila:



do you guys think I am lazy

Even if nairaland had a video call plug-in, we wouldn't know. But since they said so, get realistic facts from them without being defensive, see if there are things you could improve on...you may just end up overcoming a negative trait that could affect you much later....

QueenSuccubus:


I already sent him some of my poetic lines the other day but i said i will only continue it when the wooing thread is ON

lolzzzz.. let it flow

Lets get drunk in your gift of poetry

We all have that one person with whom we never knew things would take a different turn. We blame, we love again, we live.

Feel free to add your poetic lines...

Here's mine;


Maybe I trust easily...
I don't know but I have no reason to doubt you
I also have no reason to trust you.
But you know, I choose trust because in life we all deserve a chance.
I am only where I am because when i wasn't right, nature gave me another lifeline
So who am I not to take people as they are?
Take another chance...
We may still end the story as strangers in the night,
but this time, one step forward in our search for the bright paradise....



Feel free to add yours..



#peaceout

sure. several times, without thinking twice. Why rush what is meant to be enjoyed forever.

Wait sef, there are more interesting things to think bout and achieve than sex.

I kindly direct such energy build-up to something worthwile

and looking back, no regrets 100%.

a little budgeting and self discipline is needed on your part cos if you do not change it, it will be the same when you make a million. It's an unhealthy habit. Discipline yourself and curb it now...


P.S Discipline dey pain o....its not fun but when u get used to it, life gets better.

lammylam:


i noticed guys dont like talking bou their ex!

just curious to know y

Cos it cuts deep.... when your love was taken for granted...or for some reasons it didnt work

Earl klugh - acoustic jazz


Use this song to meditate and pen ideas...u ve got the world at your feet...

this matter tire me o. TY bello said the land is green. She wasn't referring to our veins biko. You are fine as you are.

it's nice.
If i have a girlfriend that's not inquisitive, i would wonder at some point if she really cares..
But not too much sha. Or she go drive guy to dey ready explanation for anything..when guy nor get, guy fit lie which is not good.

If it's out of love (cos believe me guys can detect it fake), then that's our secret formula to keep the love burning. Tell her what she needs to know but not all...she will keep coming for more. Play the game of mystery to keep the flame burning.

Truth is not everything we can understand at once.

So for our babes too, no matter what he tells you, you'll still ask for some more...just take what he gives..then move slow and steady,

the race is won.

Nne5:

bet bet bet bet why?

lolz...but some guys nor dey rush, them they settle down lie sha. if them tell you good morning, my sister check your time again. They lie bout those things that they believe are the secrets to holding a lady's attention; money, fame, luxury. These things nor bad o...but they can't be the foundation of a successful relationship cos these things are too material, they cant hold a home for long. The best homes are never built on those luxuries, but the simplest qualities everyone can give. Luxuries are additions not foundations...
So uncle-guys and aunty-ladies be simple and CAYA (come as you are) watch the way your girl or guy will CATA (come as they are)

...it takes two to play the game

QueenSuccubus:



Why not?

MOTTO: "If u cant beat them, join them"...

lolzzzzzz...if a cash yhu...

QueenSuccubus:
Join them

No time to get jealous ...

like seriously?

move on with your life. Anything you do at that point will get u stuck in the past. The situation just taught you a thing or two bout friendship

Bro... Before you tell her anything, you need to sit down and do a soul search. You can almost certainly point out where you went wrong. Cos now telling her off doesn't solve the problem you have. Cos they way you did to her,you will likely do to another. The more you do that, the further you disconnect from your inner-self which takes time to reconnect and build.

I'll give u a piece of advice.. but i need some details.

First, how close are you? (Physical distance)?
Do you live under the same roof?
How did the relationship start?