pstemma1990:
good morning sir, your number is not on ur signature, I don't have access to the email address on my profile here... And I wouldn't want to ask u to drop ur phone number, but here is mine..

Email : nnaemekaemmanuel233@gmail.com

WhatsApp :08138958833..

I've just sent you an email.

@op
I really feel sorry for your family.
I've been thinking how do I help you after reading your story.
I would like to offer you a job, #35/40k/month with accommodation and food.
You will be working as my mum's driver. My mum is in the village (Enugu state). she already have a driver but you will be a secondary driver. You will live in the house and do manly job like putting gen on at night, getting fuel, keeping compound in order as the other driver doesn't live with her.
You can try and if u dont like it you are free to leave.
Message me if you would like to take the offer

Give her distance and pray

What course did you gain admission to study?

There could be two reasons why she wants you back.

1) She might be trying to pin her colleague's pregnancy on you, it could be she is pregnant for him and wants you to take the fall for it.

2)it could also be that people are already mocking her and she can't take it any longer, so she wants you back to be the house husband while she covers her shame.

Take number 1 very seriously.

You are such a wise person

Helpout12345:


Thank you. She is comparing her husband to her friends husband.

No one is comparing anyone to anyone. I just mentioned that to indicate that even if u are not capable of doing chores, atleast be buying gadgets or be good in any other things. Time has gone when men only go to work. If he was single, won't he clean his plates or his room or even cook food, wash his clothes and pay his bills?
My dad cooks, wakes up at night to check up on us and when we were sick he was there at night with us.

LilMissFavvy:
Since he gives you access to his money, my advice is that you get a maid, a mature married woman who is ready to help out with cleaning and caring for the baby. Even the stress you are passing through is not necessary for you, if you can pay to get things done, then why not?

It's unfortunate you/hubby never trained your children to do house chores, I don't see anything bad in a child picking up whatever their father left in the sitting room every morning. If your children can operate the washing machine, what stopped them from washing their daddy's clothes? (I used to help my dad with washing). Take note, that with the way your husband is behaving, if you bring in a single lady into your home, your husband will surely have an affair, he's already addicted to porn*, so whatever Nanny you will employ should be an old widow, elderly married nanny or a male helper if your baby is a boy.

Your husband is hypertensive and diabetic, if he wants to go to work, come back, eat, and watch TV, please allow him. You both are capable, pay for a maid. It's never late to introduce your children to more house chores. Lastly, if after getting a helping hand for the chores, he still gets paranoid with his death threats, then better run for your life. Life is one, only evil' mentally*unstable people threaten their partners with death* threats.

Even if I get a maid they can't be working 24/7..
They work per hour and we.the whole family still need to keep maintaining the house. I have asked him countless of times to delegate by asking kids to do the things for him if he is too tired. What is there in asking ur child to come and collect ur used plate. I do that but he can't just be bothered to leave it there.

prof0fficial111:
From all I read I think you're the problem in your marriage. You don't give the man the respect he deserves. Telling him to clean the table...Telling him not to use toilet he wants....getting angry because he messed the toilets

All you have said are clear descriptions of a wife with bad character. Sorry to say.

Maybe western life has affected your behavior negatively. Try and seek advice from Home.

Oh really I'm the problem. When u walk in my shoes then we will talk.
Did u not.read that he messes.the toilet up without cleaning it knowing fully well he is the only one that uses it and we receive people everyday for hours?
Did u not read where I wrote he leaves his used plates, belts,, glasses, wine bottles in the sitting and goes to work? I
Did u not read where I wrote that I receive people in my home everyday and they use this toilet and follow my son everywhere during therapy?
Did u not read where I wrote that I have a child with disability that also doesn't sleep thay i'm tired due to.lack of sleep and he doesnt help?
How are my supposed to be cleaning after him? Why would he be creating extra stress and work for me knowing fully well I already have my hands full with no help?
I have asked him countless of times to delegate by asking kids to do the things for him if he is too tired. What is there in asking ur child to come and collect ur plate. I do that but he can't be bothered.

kot1917:

It well...
I will really like to discuss something important with you ma’am
Text me your contact
Thanks

You can send me a private message to my email on nairaland or drop urs I will contact u

Cutehector:
If you were in his shoes and he made you look like the worst person on earth, would you feel happy?

I can never be in his shoes because I detest unorganised place. I'm very proactive and I don't wait for someone to remind me do activities of daily living

NoToPile:


I am so sorry for what you are passing through, try to seek more help for your baby if it will make you cope with the situation and if you can afford it, you are physically, emotionally and psychologically stressed, if you need some form of therapy please get it fortunately you seem to be in a country where those things are common.

You are not the problem please, ignore him if you can. You are not the messiah, you have tried to get him to seek help for his state of mind he didn't get it fully, now you have a whole lot on your hands caring for your child with special needs that alone is tasking.

He has to acknowledge that he needs help first if not it's just a rigmaroll.

I refused having another child because I noticed the kind of a person he is. I will just be the person looking after them. He constantly allow people nag me here for another child, even worse anytime we are in Nigeria. He kept saying he wants another child to complete our family but I don't want to do it. I keep reiterating that he doesn't help with the ones we already have and u want to get another one. After yrs I foolishly succumbed. He promised to have two days off and one will be our date day. He did it for a month or so. Once I got pregnant he went back to work working even two jobs saying he is building two houses and we need money. When I gave birth, on day two he even went to work and brought my older children to come sleep in the hospital with me. Though he came back for them around 2am.
Now this child I was reluctant to have now have special need and I'm the one suffering. The whole thing is so derailing. He doesn't even remember he is the one that wanted another child and have pity on me that he put me in this situation. He cannot even open fridge and get his food and feed him . That is too tasky for him, he will rather drive him to MacDonald than open fridge because he is too lazy to open containers to get his food. Once it's more than two containers in the fridge it overwhelmes him.

eminent91:
Madam Graduate2015,I must really empathize with you for what you are going through.It is not easy at all because I can relate to your ordeal.It is a crazy situation i must say.You have come a long way sis,16years is no child's play living with such a person.Mine is just 5years,I would have left but I can't for the sake of my kids.Yours is better,at least you have the finances to make life better for you and you are also in a better environment.We are practically struggling here.I am a very emotional person and words get to me deeply.My husband will never appreciate the little effort I make,he sees me as the cause of his ordeals,says hurtful things about my family; same people who have been there for him all these years,he wouldn't involve me in decision making,alot of things I can't mention.I have totally lost all affections for him.I just allow him have sex because i noticed that denying him sex na wahala I dey find. I will advise you to just ignore him.People like that don't listen to advice,they are always right.Forget about that family time you are clamouring for cos you won't get it.Stop the nagging attitude,always allow him have his way(The word "No" no dey their brain),do not involve in any form of argument with him at all.Spend quality time with your children,overtime you will get used to it.Get help to assist with the house chores if it becoming too overwhelming for you.Please,do not deny him SEX,even if it means laying like a log wood,do it sis.Your mental health is also important. E- hugs to you dear.

So sorry you are going through this. This life eeehh imagine you wanting to be involved in the decision making. Mine doesn't make any decision without my input. Sometimes it irritates me.

Analysist:


I mean it is obvious what the problem is here.
You are treating and speaking to him like a child and that has destroyed his ego! He doesn’t trust you with his heart and ego anymore.

Personally, I think your husband has something more in the line of ADHD. Do some research on it, you will understand how to handle him better.

It’s going to be tough I wouldn’t lie, people with ADHD get bored of things and routines easily, that’s why they fall off and can’t commit to a schedule for long. You will need to be innovative and change it up regularly to keep the interest!

You will need to always initiate intimacy for months, hoping for that one time he will ask you, if he does never turn him down even if you want to die. It is a step to building the trust and him trusting you again. That one will quickly become two and three and more. Never turn him down, it’s you building his ego back up. I know it’s hard, but it is just the sacrifice you have to make.

You are trying to fight him with force and it will never work, they are the most stubborn people and have their guard up like a brick wall around their heart.

The easiest way to break them is love, care and tender. Live up on this man and watch how he will breakdown for you. Loving him is the only way to break that defence and he will admit by himself that has an issue, this is the only way to get him to admit. Forcing him is like taking away the little ego he has left, so you have to show him that despite his flaws you still cherish and respect him. Trust me, you can only unlock this level by showing him love and respect. No nagging, no argument , no telling him no, make him feel like king. Then slowly you choose the language you use to get him to go see a professional.
If you try to use force, forget it!

Also, throw away that 11 years older ish, stop expecting him to be the bigger person because he is not, you are! Accept that you are the driver and the responsibility that comes with it. But, never show him that you are, it is a skill you need to learn- making him think it is his Idea or he is in-charge but really you the one doing the driving. Remember, he has a very fragile ego and you have to extremely careful.

Main points and take away

1. Do a deep research into ADHD and how to handle it in adults.
2. Stop treating and taking to him like a child.
3. Build his ego back up, treat him like a king. Respect! Respect!! Respect!!!
4. Accept after doing all this work, he will get better but will always require guidance and assistance to be consistent.
5. Accept he will always need help

Good luck

Waoo waoo u are truly an Analysist just like ur username. I'm going to copy ur suggestions and read them everyday to keep myself in check because it can be very frustrating. I used my time to research on adult ADHD and that's is my husband. He forgets things, once he is home he is always looking for his phone. Everything about Adult ADHD is my home. I also read experiences of partners living with them and that's my life. They turn u into a nag as that's the only way things can get done around the house. They also mention that they can also suffer from bipolar disorder and sometimes both are interwoven. I have been complaining that he doesn't listen when I'm talking to him or even when I ask him to do something he will just forgets it. He doesn't remember any of our children's date of birth. I have researched about ADHD in kids as we suspect my son has it. He is constantly on the move especially in daycare that they cant cope. He can't sit still for more than 2mins. I also remember my husband saying how he never entered class in early stages of primary school as he was busy playing around and can't even remember where his class was. Thank you for this insight. I pray he reads about adult adhd and acknowledges that's his problem. I've always imagined why he just can't organise, manage himself or pay his bills.

This one kind of ties in with relationship woes, because it has to do with a person’s emotions. Someone with ADHD will experience a constant flux in their emotions. One minute they are up, the next they are down. It’s also closely associated with some of the other symptoms on this list, such as being easily distracted or unable to focus. “You can easily become bored and go looking for excitement on a whim. Small frustrations can seem intolerable or bring on depression and mood swings,” explains Healthline. These kinds of unstable emotions can cause an array of problems both in your personal and professional life.

In relation to this, Health.com also explains that adults with ADHD might suffer from a short fuse, or quick temper. They will have trouble controlling their emotions in heated situations and find themselves easily frustrated and fuming mad one second, then completely over it the next. This symptom is tricky and is easily misconstrued as bipolar disorder. In fact, Health.com notes that often times people with ADHD are misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Moneyyman:
That's the problem! You've found the solution. Right now, there are two paths (if you want to go on with the marriage):

1. Find someone he's accountable to. Based on what you've described, it seems there's no one..pastor, friend, or family.

2. Try and get him to therapy. I know you've been trying without much success, but maybe try a different approach?

As for the ethical issue, I'm not saying you should send medical reports or something. But it's not bad or uncommon to ask your in-laws to intervene in a marital issue when it goes beyond your power. You don't have to divulge his diagnosis. Just make them aware that their son and brother is going through a hard time and you're trying to reach out to him emotionally to no avail. Maybe they can help.

Finally, I don't know if you pray. But please do...

You think the abuse from his dad made him that way?
His younger siblings are so much involve in their children's lives even though they have help living with them but they are not like average Nigeria men. If his siblings living in Nigeria can help their wives yet he is here with no help and he can't look after his kids.

I informed our friend who also happens to be a pastor but he refused to pick his call. He has been calling him for days and he is not picking his calls.

NoToPile:
Seems the man has some mental health wahala.

This poster sef needs help she's clearly frustrated by the husband's issue, she also seems stressed from caring for the disabled child. Even from the write up it can be felt.

You guys are abroad, you have access to all the mental health people the only problem is trying to convince him to get help. You also need some help too.

Thank you for acknowledging my predicament. My son doesn't sleep at night and my husband doesn't help when he is crying at night. During the day I'm so so tired but will still wake up clean after everyone's mess and cook for my children. Also have to take care of my toddler which is exhausting since he can't be in childcare due to sensory issue. He has countless meltdowns in childcare and they couldn't manage him.
It's really hard for me to manage my husband's behaviour especially now my son is also special need. Too much for.me to handle.. since my last child it's been really a roller coaster journey probably because I have zero tolerance for his behaviour unlike before.
Though he still doesn't recognises that he may have a mental health issue. He thinks I'm the problem

endsarrrs:

Op, ... There's clearly something good about your partner and you. But what you're describing up here is pretty lousy behavior in any marriage relationship

This wouldn't be a problem in my marriage supposing I was in Nigeria but here reverse is the case due to no help. However, I have decided to get a nanny since he is willing to pay. I will spend his money but then I'm very frugal and hate spending a lot of money for something you can just do urself. This is why everyone does things for themselves abroad because everyone is paid by hour. This will make him to work more to afford our lifestyle but I want him to work less so that we can spend more time together as a family. We go on holiday twice a year but don't really spend time together after that.

Moneyyman:
Sorry, but there are a few questions I want to ask.

1. Did he grow up with his father?

2. If he did, what was his dad like?

3. While he may be bipolar (classic symptoms of intensive mood swings, poor hygiene, but brilliant at work), I think it goes a bit beyond that.

I may be wrong, but it seems like he had no father figure in his life, or the person never set the right example for him.

He desperately needs therapy.

4. Does he have friends? You never mentioned if he did.

5. The combination of porn, diabetes, hypertension, and poor habits may be his end. I'll advise you to let his family know what the situation is and ask them to help or intervene.

I understand how difficult it is for you, but I also see that you're willing to help him and save your marriage. If it was the other way round, many would be advising him to divorce you.

I do hope he gets the help he needs.

His dad was very abusive husband both verbally, physically and psychologically. He was beating their mum and my husband being the first child always cry for him to stop. He never had any relationship with his dad and avoids him because he always find fault in everything anybody does.
He doesn't have close friends that he will listen to. He is busy working and only have wide circle of acquaintances.
Are you saying I should let his family know about his health?
Is that ethically right for me to divulge his diagnosis to his family?

efficiencie:


You are impossible madam. If den leave you you go type book series on how bad your husband is. You claim material things are not your love language why did you seek out and marry a guy that works in the "highest" paid profession in the world but has mental issues? Is it that you didn't know about his mood swings before you married him? I am very sure you would have detected his mood swings before you decided to marry him. You got enticed by the staggering cash inflows he rakes in and now you are lamenting like egbere. Madam carry your load. We were not there when you were enjoying all the goodies and now that the time has come for you to pay the price you are looking for an excuse to take-off. Ladies and Gentlemen, no man or woman has it all. There will always be a cost for every great attribute your spouse has. If you leave your current spouse in search of another because of a flaw in his or her life you will keep changing spouses forever and ever because there is no individual that does not come with his/her unique assets and liabilities. You just have to find that special partner whose assets you are content with and whose liabilities you are willing to manage till death do you part.

Why do u assume that I knew he has this mood swings before marrying him? He was very sweet and always apologetic but our relationship was a long distance one. I had other suitors richer than him but I chose him because we clicked when we met and we were both Scripture Union members When we met he didn't have any money. He left the country six months after we met and wanted to marry me before leaving but i refused and asked him to go and come back while I finish uni. We dated for two years before getting married. I.dont know what else I could have done here. The six months we met he visited me several times in uni but that is not long enough for me to find out about his mood swing. I really don't know what else I could have done before marrying him.

Analysist:

Excuse my typos, my keyboard is glichy/

You mentined your son has special needs. Do you think you can force your son to do something his mates do that you know he is nt capable of doing? NO! Because you knw he cannot, thats why you have a professional come everyday to assist. It is the same thing for your husband. You cannot force him to do what he can not do, or doesnt have the mental capabiity to do.

The good thing is that you already know what the problem could be, a mental disorder. The problem is you not acceptiong the responsiblilties that come with that.

Solution to your problem.

Acceptance stage

1. Accept that he is not normal, and can never be.
2. Accept that he is not a leader and a macho man.
3. Accept that he will never take initative and you have to do that and manage things.

Source of problems

1. Find out what causes the mood swings. (My guess, he has a disorder)
2. Find out why he uses guest toilet. (My guess, you nag him about not keeping the main toilet tidy)
3. Find out why he doesn't like being intmate with you. (My guess, he is not attracted to you, or he likes somethings he sees in the adult movies that you do not want to do for him)
4. Find out cause of every issue.

-- If you find out the causes, avoid those things or do the things that he wants you to do.

Solutions

1* DO NOT COMPARE YOUR LIFE AND HOME WITH YOUR FRIEND!
1** Make peace with the fact that the journey will take several months and its not a quick fix.
1*** Do not talk to him like a child and stop nagging him about cleaning up and other things.
1. Accept that he might have a disorder and you will have to take care of him forever, make peace with this and see the fighting go down significantly.
2. You will need to love and care for him like you do for your son.
3. You have access to his recources, use it t make the lifr easier, buy the machine yourself and do not wait for him.
4. Show him how to love you, it is not exciting i know but he will never get clues because he does not have the mental capacity. Be direct and show him.
5. Make sticky notes and place where he might need help, eg. Toilet handle, make a simle not that says "flush please" and a heart or kiss symbol.


I know the things i mentioned are hard to do when you do not love a person or they irritate you. But that is your reality, he needs help and that is your job as the wife. It is your reality, unfortunately he is not the brave macho kind of man, you just have to make the best out of it.

NB.. When i use the word nagging, i do not mean you are at fault for teling him what he should already know. I am not blaming you in any way. But from his perspective thats how he sees it. Also i would not give this avice to a normal person, your husban is clearly not normal and he needs extra help, just like your son.



Good luck.

Your post is a reality check.
He uses visitors toilet because its.in the downstairs and he is too lazy to climb upstairs. He also doesn't have sex with me because he says I always deny him when he asks so he has now stopped asking. He will have sex anytime I initiate so he is still attracted to me but complains I only ask for sex when I want. He doesn't want to follow my suggestion and doesn't want to initiate a solution for.our sex life. He changes and starts helping if u talk to him but goes back to his nature after a week or two.weeks.
You are right. I haven't really accepted my cross as i keep trying to change him which is not possible after 16yrs. It's very sad and hard for me to baby someone that is 11yrs older than me. I thought it would be the other way round. He has never acknowledged that he has a mental health issue and will continue not see how much his actions affects me. For.me.to.stay in this marriage he first has to admit that he also has a problem and possibly a mental health issue. I'm going to be a bigger person and call for a meeting as he is incapable of doing that.

Case closed

Dada2010:
My dear you are not over reacting.
You should feel betrayed, thats normal.
You have told your sisters and your mom how you felt, that shows you have reacted and can face issues instead of running away and holding grudges.
But from your post, you have a loving family.
So you have to tell them , so they will not think you are retaliating thereby putting strain on your relationship with them.
Ultimately ask your husband if you should tell them. Since he also is not telling his family.
Putting myself in your shoes, I would tell them when its 4 to 6 months, and don't give any clear details until delivery.
NB-your sister didn't tell you because of your sister in law, find out why she was scared, you might want to know

Thanks for ur response. They had a misunderstanding which was about my her husband's attitude and how she is not helping herself(getting pregnant every year, not thinking of doing something), so she feels like our sister in law is gonna get upset and gossip about her more if she finds out about her current situation (that pregnancy). She thinks since we both live in the same country I might tell her hence her reasons for withhelding it from me.

Thanks for taking ur time to read

PresVA:
I suggest you don't bottle up or try to move on.. You can't, the memory will linger.. the people involved here are family...

Have a talk with your mum and sister. .voice out how disappointed you're. .. if they're remorseful, they'll admit their offenses and it will help you heal.. Hopefully they won't do such again.

bottomline: Confront them... moving on may never work..

All the best and I hope you heal soon and reconcile with your family. .....

Thank you, I will do that

AxceX:
Have been hurt too bro,by my younger sis too
Kindly move on you'll be alright with time

How did you move on? This is not like a friendship you can easily cut off

sorted

tyosho:


Thanks for bringing up my previous posts.i had even forgotten about it.

The aged care/disability matter didn't happen again as we both got other jobs.

Bellong is coming to Melbourne this month end so we are all planning to have a meet.We go get plenty pictures to upload then.
Please if we have any melbourne nairalanders that Bellong is yet to contact,please raise your hand so details can be sent to you for our groove

Am new here and in Melbourne as well

tyosho:
It will be nice if this thread is restricted to info about life in australia.Not questions on how to secure visa or gain admission.

My family and I made use of IOM to secure our travel tickets.We went with emirates and had a stopover in Dubai.Nothing special about the travel experience.We were entitled to 40kg per adult,40kg for a child and 23kg for infant.We also paid for 2 extra bags of 32kg each but i hear prices have gone up so cargoing is cheaper.You can cargo through certain airlines like saa,emirates and etihad.
All in all we had like 12 luggages.
I went with ALL kinds of food stuffs except beans(becos of weavils).With my food items,i put them individually in transparent bags and labelled them.Fish,egusi,dry pepper,garri,amala etc.
Got to melbourne,declared i had food items but was not searched and was allowed to go through.

We opened accts with NAB and commonwealth bank but didnt transfer any money from nigera.We went with some cash and left the remaining in a GT dom acct and transferred from there to our OZzy acct when we arrived.We also opened a dom acct in OZ(commonwealth bank was seamless) for ease of transfer.There might be a cheaper way to transfer funds but this is what we did.

We stayed with family in Northern suburbs initially but got our own place in the Eastern suburbs,somewhere not far from Dandenong.We settled for the East because its quite busy,more factories and industries in these areas.If i dont live in the East,I will go for the North and West in that order.West is cheapest but people say it has a history of crime.I however have friends who have lived in the West over 10years and have never had any incidents.Anyhow,wherever you decide to stay is fine.Just get somewhere close to the train station and mall.

In melbourne,you can use your naija license for 6months.My husband passed his victoria drivers test on first attempt,i havnt tried yet for my drivers license.People say though that it can be quite tough cos i know someone who failed 5times!I was able to start driving within 2months of getting here.Just remember,you drive on the left always.

No ideas on how mortgages work but when choosing a neighborhood,also consider ones with good schools if you have kids.If your kids are still of daycare age(below 5),use careforkids.com.au to compare prices,reviews etc.

Settling in was not bad for me cos i had friends and family here already.My kids settled fine as well.

Upon arrival;
Get a mobile sim(i use lebara)
Apply for TFN(tax file no)
Open a bank account or go and activate the one you opened from Nigeria
Go to centerlink and medicare for registration
Get a travel card(MYki card if in melbourne).

Update your linkedin profile and make it very appealing to recruiters.You can also search for recruiters on Linkedin.

With regards to work,there is always something to do.It might not be want you want initially but there is work.Some people start off working at factories,aged care homes,disability and support centres etc until they eventually get what they want.Some people also end up going into nursing,community welfare,policing etc.But like i said,if you dont mind chopping humble pie to start somewhere earning money with these blue collar jobs,you will be okay.I know people who have houses with money earned from these blue collar professions.
There is dignity of labour here so people dont care what job you do to earn money.

For transportation,if you can afford it,pls plan to buy a car asap(carsales.com.au,gumtreee.com.au).please buy cars with roadworthiness and valid registration(at least 6months).If no car,you can use the metro system until you can afford to get a car here.

For housing,a friend referred us to her agent who leased us an apartment even though we didnt have jobs at the time.She accepted our bank statements as proof of income.We pay just a little below 2k monthly as rent.

Then i also just found out about NRAS housing scheme from a colleague days back.Its for families who fall within a certain income threshold.IF your rent was like 350,you would pay like 260 and the govt will pay the balance.I dont have much info as i dont qualify anymore since hubby and I both work now.But im certain most freshbies would qualify.

With furnishing the house,we went across gumtree.com(for people who were selling their furniture due relocation or other reasons),kmart stores( for kitchen items),bestbuy.com(this is a company that sells new electronics at reduced prices because they have scratches or marks on them;there are plenty stores like that but this is the one i patronised) and ikea stores(for kitchen and beddings)

For people that dont mind as well,in order to save costs,you can patronise Salvos stores(its a charity shop that all kinds of household items in great condition).

To get the best energy providers,internet providers,insurance etc,you can make use of iselect.com.au

During cold weather,you wear jacket and use heater(we paid almost 200 a month for heating during this past winter)

I do most of my shopping at Dandenong Market as food stuffs there is cheaper than everyother place I know.There is also Marmara market at Dandenong(all kinds of food items including shaki,cowleg,cow tongue etc) and an African store not far from the market(cant rememeber the name).At noble park is SUR african shop where i get dry fish,palm oil,egusi and stuff like that.

With departmental stores,woolworths is most expensive and aldi is cheapest.Coles is in between.
I know of only one nigerian restaurant that recently opened in the city and i have never been there before.
There is also another popular naija shop in the West called Fatimoh"s shop

With centerlink link claims,we were paid family tax benefit part A and B,family rebate and child care assistance.This all sumed up to $621 forthnightly for the first 4months,it came down to 550 and then now sits at $89 fortnightly.It reduces with every income increase.
Childcare rates was $113 for two kids initially (5days a week) and now is $370 a week.

We also got a concession card which has now been cancelled since we both have jobs.With the concession card,we paid discounted electricity and waterbills,half price for transportation,free ambulance cover,susbsizied fees if we had done any studies at the time and my first kid who is in kinder got 15hours free of daycare weekly .

With jobs,for me,it was just God.I got a job in the Tier 1 team of an IT company with no technical knowledge whatsover.It was my 3rd video interview and i got the job two months after arrival.I commute 54mins by train to the CBD which is quite a distance by OZ standard.But i dont mind really.I got the job through indeed.com which i prefer to seek.com
There a couple of recruitment agencies i know and i will list as i remember.

Strategy one(blue collar)
Adecco
Hoban
Ozstaff(blue collar)
Randstad
Sharp &carter
Hays
Smaart



cc Bellong,vinsmuft,funkjo,oknee,hordunayo,incemay,abeg you guys should come and add o

I live in Melbourne, close to Dandenong. Will nice to catch up.

Ok.

Thanks for not believing even after I risked putting my pics here. Some people sha.