Great! No be only men Sabi better thing.

Billyonaire666:


GOD is not a Christian. Jesus' Religion was Judaism, not Christianism.

There is a difference between a hospital and a church. Your sister has fertility issue and not a religious problem. Church is a Religion's workship, so is the mosque a Religion's workshop, but Hospital is Health Workshop.

Most Religious people are becoming stupid these days. You do not decide that the best way to treat a fertility problem is via prayers but you can treat it by heading to a fertility clinic.

Your sister is ignorant of the reality of this world and so are you, but it does help others who read this to understand that Prayers do not work except you channel it through specific frequencies to the source or to the entity you expect to grant your request, but I dare say that most of the prayers I hear the devout Christians pray are simply NOISE making.

To know how to pray, you must adhere strictly to how Iesus Christos admonished. In spirit and in Truth, but I doubt if today's Christians know Jesus was a Jew, and never heard of the word Christianity.

SOLUTION:

Should could have a software problem, so she needs to get into the source code of her endocrine system and correct the anomaly and it can be done via hypnosis and/or Meditation. Most of our human problems can be solved from the quantum field level, at the core of blueprint of the software running our conscious mind.

I'm not stupid neither is she.. She has been to fertility clinics of course.

I have a sister passing through a rough time, she married in 2018 as a virgin (confirmed by the husband) but trying to conceive now, her husband abandoned her, impregnated & married another woman. Told her she can divorce herself when she's ready.

My worry is that this my elder Sister is too calm, born again, can pray. She practically worships her husband.
Why is God not answering her prayers?
Why is God allowing my sister to go through so much pain in life?

I don't even know how to console her again.

EfemenaXY:

Shouldn't it be? How many times should a young, yet-to-wed couple envision getting married in their lifetime? Multiple times??




Shouldn't it be?

Isn't a girl entitled to have dreams about what her wedding day should be? Is her wedding day meant to be just any mundane, ordinary day? Is it the crime of the century to want the day she marries her true love / better half to be special?

You seem to be deliberately overlooking the bit where I followed on immediately by stating that whether this is achievable or not remains to be seen as they should both work together towards this.

Yep, it's a no-brainer. Granted men aren't mind readers, but it's common sense to know / realise without it being spelt out in A, B, C to you/him that this day of all days is special. And what do you do on special days, MBJ. Do you let them pass like any other ordinary day? If yes, then why bother getting married in the first place, since it's just a piece of paper anyway? Why bother with celebrating it?[/color

[color=#000099]I disagree about it being a do-or-die-affair for the reasons already stated above.

For a man to expect a woman to come up to him saying "I do not want a fancy wedding" shows he's nothing but a tight-fisted, miserable Scrooge who would do better with remaining single than part with his precious coins.

This lady in question works and earns her own money. She isn't a leech nor a liability so your suggestion for her to have a drab day of a wedding is moot.
You know, she didn't beg the man to propose to her, you know. He did so without a gun being held to his head. If getting married to her is going to cause him so many sleepless nights, then he really should question himself as to whether tying the knot now is the best option.

He isn't doing her a favour by marrying her. Why would you even suggest it? Is she an orphan with no family of her own? Did he find her in the gutters? Would him marrying her elevate her to heaven-knows-what-sort-of-dizzying-heights? From the sound of it, he's even struggling to make ends meet and she's been very patient with him.

MBJ, advice your brother to learn some much needed skills in tact and decorum. He's definitely in need of a good polish. He's just too rough around the edges.

Wow! So intelligent and matured.
EfemenaXY Can we be friends?

EfemenaXY:

Shouldn't it be? How many times should a young, yet-to-wed couple envision getting married in their lifetime? Multiple times??




Shouldn't it be?

Isn't a girl entitled to have dreams about what her wedding day should be? Is her wedding day meant to be just any mundane, ordinary day? Is it the crime of the century to want the day she marries her true love / better half to be special?

You seem to be deliberately overlooking the bit where I followed on immediately by stating that whether this is achievable or not remains to be seen as they should both work together towards this.

Yep, it's a no-brainer. Granted men aren't mind readers, but it's common sense to know / realise without it being spelt out in A, B, C to you/him that this day of all days is special. And what do you do on special days, MBJ. Do you let them pass like any other ordinary day? If yes, then why bother getting married in the first place, since it's just a piece of paper anyway? Why bother with celebrating it?[/color

[color=#000099]I disagree about it being a do-or-die-affair for the reasons already stated above.

For a man to expect a woman to come up to him saying "I do not want a fancy wedding" shows he's nothing but a tight-fisted, miserable Scrooge who would do better with remaining single than part with his precious coins.

This lady in question works and earns her own money. She isn't a leech nor a liability so your suggestion for her to have a drab day of a wedding is moot.
You know, she didn't beg the man to propose to her, you know. He did so without a gun being held to his head. If getting married to her is going to cause him so many sleepless nights, then he really should question himself as to whether tying the knot now is the best option.

He isn't doing her a favour by marrying her. Why would you even suggest it? Is she an orphan with no family of her own? Did he find her in the gutters? Would him marrying her elevate her to heaven-knows-what-sort-of-dizzying-heights? From the sound of it, he's even struggling to make ends meet and she's been very patient with him.

MBJ, advice your brother to learn some much needed skills in tact and decorum. He's definitely in need of a good polish. He's just too rough around the edges.

Wow! So intelligent and matured.
EfemenaXY Can we be friends?

coogar:

how's his statement an insult to the OP? if the OP doesn't want to feel insulted, then she should withdraw her own money & pay for her cinderella wedding.

i thought you are a purveoyor of gender equality.....what's the OP's input in the 2 big projects ahead of them? she doesn't have money to spend & yet when the options are presented to her, she still felt insulted.

nigerian women-eating their cake & having it since 1914.

Like I told you before what you don't comprehend you ask questions.
who told you that I don't have money? i refuse to pay for my wedding in Jesus name, i can only contribute not sponsor.Thanks for your time anyway.

MRbrownJAY:

although you may not have discussed it directly with him, he knows/understands how you feel about it....just like we all do (from what you are writing here).

again, as i said earlier, if we men could marry for free and be done with the ulcer that is called fancy marriage ceremony.....we would! thats because we view this ceremony way differently than you women.

let me be the bearer of bad news (I am just the messenger o):
sadly, the man IS doing you a favour....if you expect a fancy wedding that cost as much as building a home, but you have no money to bring to the table, and yet expect HIM to pay for it all.....then yes, you must admit that he is doing you a favour by having the option of a fancy wedding ceremony on the table, when you fully well know that he wants to build a house with this money. the only reason the fancy wedding option is on the table is because of YOU.

You still don't get it because by the Grace of God I work and earn money so I cannot even possibly lock my money without contributing in a little I can.

coogar:

oh please - spare us the sentiments.
if you don't prefer the fairytale wedding, why didn't you tell him when you had the chance? why are you telling us here? na NL members you go marry? it's very glaring that given the opportunity, you want your wedding on the moon. how many women sincerely think beyond their wedding day?

house ko, foundation ni

what you don't understand you ask questions.
nairaland is for all so I can post what I deem fit.

MRbrownJAY:

the above in bold STILL points to the the reason why hubby ask you this question.....although you may not choose a fairytale wedding over building a house, a fancy fairytale wedding is what you would choose if there was enough money for both, and that is the MAIN issue here, lol!

ok let's look at it this way: the man has saved a certain amount of money, with this amount of money he fully well knows he can only do ONE of the option laid before you. he also do know that you wouldnt mind a fairytale wedding (if money permits).....so because the man doesnt want to be viewed as the insensitive guy, he asks you for your opinion and lay the ultimate choice on your lap, and thats why he said the marriage is in your hands (aka if you really want that fancy wedding, you must bring your views to the table as to why we should have it over building a home).

there is no smoke without fire, if this man put it in such a way towards you, then that must have been because of the "signals" you sent him over having a fairytale fancy wedding OR how you felt about walking down the aisle with your dress bla bla bla.

btw if you guys aint got so much money then why are you even considering a fancy wedding that would cost the equivalent of a building a home? imho, the option of fancy wedding shouldnt even be on the table.

first of all I want you to know that we have not discussed how our wedding would be before.
my annoyance is why he asked me as if he's doing me a favour.

MRbrownJAY:

the man did bring a suggestion......marriage or house. that was the option and he asked his partner for her input in this matter that will impact both their lives. whatever his wife suggest will be EVALUATED like anything should. marriage is not slavery or dictatorship.
the only person who did NOT have an opinion is the lady, the man was "seemingly" ok with either way, and therefore asked his partner to bring her views to the table....which she didnt.

@Damiso
you will be wrong to assume that some women would choose right....i remember a few months ago a lady came to NL because hubby wanted to spend money on building a home instead of fancy wedding, and future wifey was against it because (as she put it) if he died then his family will come and collect the house, and she will have no right over it because it was "his house"....or some BS like that. many people do marry for the wrong reasons, and many women NEED that glitzy glamourous fairytale ceremony, by any means necessary. abi na only today we hear people borrowing huge amount of money (they dont have) for wedding ceremony?! the power of shallow women out there is alive and well.

There is a huge difference between: babe we will do our wedding in a very low key and babe choose marrying you/house project. or babe let's plan this money I have.please get that because I am not silly to prefer a fairytale wedding to otherwise.

MarvellousGod: The bolded makes it look like he's doing the girl a favour, doesn't sound like he's concerned at all..

Exactly why I was angry with him.

coogar:

he suggested 2 projects and he wants his wife's opinion on which should wait. if he couldn't use his brain, he wouldn't even have a fiancée or the money to build a house in the first place.

when people ask questions, it's not because they are clueless most times, they are just seeking a second opinion. he asked a genuine question & the OP should have answered to the best of her knowledge.

and if he had taken the decision without consulting the OP, she would be here crying that her opinion doesn't matter. this just shows that majority of our nigerian women are not ready to make crucial decisions when the opportunity avails itself.

all they want is to be fed, screwed, eat like a boar & fart while watching african magic. female education in nigeria hasn't done much - what a pity!

Oga Cooger so my marriage is my hands abi. we have not even talked about how our wedding would be low key/elaborate. He said I should choose GETTING MARRIED TO ME WITH THE MONEY OR BUILDING THE HOUSE.

damiso: I actually don't see the need for the question ' our marriage is in your hands' like seriously.He expected her to say ok yes let's do wedding don't build a house'. Even the shallowest of girls (I think) will find it difficult to say let's spend the money meant for building a home on a wedding.

Why not 'babes I have been able to get funding for the house we are going to call our home.Unfortunately that means we might have to cut back or have a not so extravagant wedding what do you think' that is even a more straightforward decisive 'test' as opposed to 'our marriage is in your hands'.


As an aside, Bellanaija weddings on Instagram sure has a lot of flak to take for all this 'fairytale wedding' thingy.This one that people are now spending hundreds of thousands on pre wedding shoot(which wan be pre wedding shoot again naa ) I had a decent wedding photographer but the cost of weddings these days is getting outrageous.

My dear it baffles me how some guys here misunderstood the whole issue. Thanks for responding.

damiso: I actually don't see the need for the question ' our marriage is in your hands' like seriously.He expected her to say ok yes let's do wedding don't build a house'. Even the shallowest of girls (I think) will find it difficult to say let's spend the money meant for building a home on a wedding.

Why not 'babes I have been able to get funding for the house we are going to call our home.Unfortunately that means we might have to cut back or have a not so extravagant wedding what do you think' that is even a more straightforward decisive 'test' as opposed to 'our marriage is in your hands'.


As an aside, Bellanaija weddings on Instagram sure has a lot of flak to take for all this 'fairytale wedding' thingy.This one that people are now spending hundreds of thousands on pre wedding shoot(which wan be pre wedding shoot again naa ) I had a decent wedding photographer but the cost of weddings these days is getting outrageous.

My dear it baffles me how some guys here misunderstood the whole issue. Thanks.

alutacontinua: IMO, the question was totally uncalled for.
I'm tryna put myself in op's shoes and something just doesn't feel right
see this part of her post:



Any right-thinking woman would understand the need to build a house instead of a wedding ceremony. All I would want from my man is to explain himself to me in such a way that I'll even come up with the idea of going for the house myself, not throw it in my face like marrying me is a burden to him. I dunno if you guys can see this from a lady's perspective but the statement above just doesn't sit down well.

God Bless you. you really understand my plight.

aisha2: OP, dont be mad, a smart woman builds a HOME not a wedding day.
We were faced with same choice, chose the house no regrets.
Choose a smaller wedding and build your home, its just a day and you can do it over later but your home is your home oh.

it seems you don't understand the write up.
Thanks anyway.

@ Kanwulia Hahahahaha Hahahahaha abeg no derail my thread I no get your power

Kanwulia: He set a trap for you. . .and you escaped.
Let him build his house.
You might still get married.

WHERE IS YOUR OWN MONEY?

Abi na empty hand YOU AND YOUR FAMILY wan take marry the man?

I can take every other insult from you as i have known you to be a nuisance in this forum but don't you ever in your life bring my family in this.

For your info I am gainfully employed. Anuofia!

Sophyrocks: Op, its his decision to make and you really should not be mad at him. Marriage is not running away.

I am not even in a hurry to get married. so it would've been different if I was pressurizing him hence my madness towards him.

beeevan: Court wedding costs less than 20k, don't let him keep you waiting. Time is the worst enemy of man....


I doubt if a guy that is really ready to get married will ask such a question.

Exactly my thought, why on earth will he ask me such question.
Thanks

OmoAlata1: you can still have both. He can build his house which is a better investment than expensive wedding. Just ask to go to registry and get married. A year after building the house, you can have wedding of your dreams (a yr is plenty time to save). That way you get best of both world. A husband and a house (that will appreciate in value as time goes by)

thanks

I have been dating this guy for sometime now. he told me he has a plot of land somewhere. he has proposed to marry me and I accepted. But something happened yesterday that made me mad.

He said he want to discuss something with me which I obliged and went to meet him. he said someone has given him the cost of building a bungalow, that he has saved money.

But problem started when he asked me to decide if he should use the money to develop the land or he should use the money to marry me. That our marriage is in my hands to decide.

I told him for the fact he has already asked someone to prepare a quotation of the cost for the building that he should go ahead not tomorrow he will say because of me he couldn't build a house, I also let him know that I can't take such decision for him.

Please house, are my suppose to be the one to decide for him on what to do with his money? especially marrying me aspect, is it truly in my hands?
Are my over reacting because I have refused to talk to him since yesterday.

Your advice would be highly appreciated.