₦airaland Forum

Focusmind:
Worse in Houston, especially, among my town union. Poknosing into people's private affairs, who is cheating and who is footing the bills. The cheating gossip is just too much, swirling like wild fires. Every town union meeting would be an opportunity to settle scores, with some going for physical fight with anyone that they believed must have [b][/b]gossiped against them. Then, those not wanting people to marry because of same gossip. It is the women sha. Me and my wife stayed in Houston for 4 months on a visit within our town's union circle but the gossips, back biting and jealousy we saw were much. But the good thing is that lots of people got their breakthroughs through their association with town union. You get certain privileged information, access to jobs and connections through the union. Just take the positives and throw away the dirts of association with your kith and kin abroad.

Honestly bro. Sometimes it can feel like you are tip toeing everytime. When you move away from that space, you feel a whole lot of load lifted from you. But like you said the good connections are there. It’s just a maze game - hard.

RodgersAkpafu:
even the ones "doing well" for themselves
na the same thing Gee.

I'll say only like 2 in 5 have their heads screwed in properly

B like say dis guy kno wetin dey sup

Deeegbee:
Low life!!

A “Low life” you will never be able to afford

Ur father is a cow mumu

I d normally want to avoid the above commenter but just for the public, let me mention. Saw my ‘guy ‘ daily flirting with my babe. On her phone. In my face there is no way I’d know this was happening.

The thing is I’m sure this is happening yo many other guys. Abi i lie? If so like this comment so i d know others share the same

Deeegbee:
Stop yarning nonsense!! How did you know he wants your babe? Secret my foot

Ode

SeriouslySense:
I observed how Indians will cook together take care of themselves, share with each other and advise each other i never observed fighting or drama. Very organized, composed and show decency. (I know Indians fight amongst themselves in their country but they act wisely and talk wisely outside their country, and they have wise stories, they always talk about, from their history and traditions.)


When i tried to associate with Nigerians it feels like i am being probed and its just unnecessary stress. Some are loud lousy and like fighting all the time, others are weird and feel like they are better than others. its better to just avoid unnecessary drama. Life is too short for self centred selfish ones.

My brother I notice d same too anyhow people

I was talking with a friend and not long in I got to know about girls I have never met and the guys sleeping with them. Same guys are getting married and this friend too wants to sleep with the girl and they work together. Mehn. I thought that was too much personal info to know. I never got that level of depth to people’s lives when I was in Nigeria

faceland:
How can a stranger come into your personal life just because you share thesame nationality?

You provided them with too much info.

Dude, just what I was thinking. I think the issue happens when you are a novice and you don’t know much so you are quite open in your first days. Unfortunately for you, you don’t know that you are open to a snake. Heck even toxic people are in well dressed attires

Tflex01:
I can say for Canada 💯
Many carry their toxicity in Nigeria fully down here.

In fact, many stop associating with you immediately they know you are not from their tribe. But I no send anybody papa.

The whole thing confuse me my brother. Before I came here, I’ve had friends from mixed ethnicities. Coming here made it seem like there are “issues” with different ethnicities

busomma:
U're in the wrong crowd. Look 4 progressive associations & join.

What I am trying to do. Although last one i got close to wanted to nack my babe. Legit between us, there was no such conversation. I found out in secret

elasticlala:
This is hasty generalization!
That might be your own experience. I wonder the country and Nigerian community you are referring to.

To be honest, the Nigerian community in the state where I live in the USA here is nicer than even my family members in Nigeria.

Ofcourse it cannot be everywhere. I can’t disclose my location but i ve also noticed it in adjacent locations

sheldonbbt:
I am trying to avoid Nigerians as much as I can. It is really annoying.

I housed someone for a year abroad without them contributing to rent, but it appeared as if I did them wrong by asking them for their plans to get a place.

The individual prefers speaking to mutual friends in language I don't understand. Infact 99% of his phone calls are in his local dialect which I do not understand.

I have every reason to suspect the individual was already gossiping about to people and it is quiet painful cos I don't know the lies that has been told.

What I have realized in this abroad is that no matter how much you help anyone even if you did it out of a communuaal embrace. Some people just don’t like when you help them. The problem is that you don’t know if you are helping a friend or competitor anytime you do so

valentineuwakwe:
If you have been hurt by a Nigerian abroad doesn't mean the Nigerian community abroad is toxic......here in niaja we all learn to live by our neighbours and despite all the govt sufferings on the masses we are still smilling!

They say life abroad is "boring and "mind-your business ", so why wont a Nigerian be happy to see a fellow abroad? Why cant they mingle n discuss how to survive in "obodo oyibo "?

To me Nigerian community abroad is the best n full of fun.....

Bro Legit yes should be how to survive in the town. I recommend 100 percent.

But you know what I have found. Person wey you dey reason together go enter your marriage wan nack your babe. Drama drama drama . I think people don’t usually know when to separate the negative drama from the positive uplifting bits

NovusHomo:
You are the company you keep.

Naa bro. I don’t keep this company. Infact, I get people try to derade me for kind of staying away. It is what brought me wondering why they are like that.

emkz:
This is too generic.

My reading of it applies to Nigerians and everyone else everywhere.

Most people are looking after their own interests. Once you find out their interests would require too much sacrifice from you, why not stay away?

There are pastors who claim they were called and collect money from struggling Nigerians both in Nigeria and abroad who follow them.

There are some Nigerians who get close and start getting jealous of you: wanting what you have including your network, your money, your wife and even your life. Why do you keep such relationships if something is not wrong with you?

Then there are Nigerians too. Professionals who always show up for one another. They help each other genuinely. When I was abroad many years ago, there was one. A woman. She showed me the way to settle and held my hand to avoid pitfalls. I returned the favour to others.

Pass it on.

Avoid needless competition. It is exhausting. Cooperate to advance each other. That is how the Indians and Chinese get ahead of blacks.

I can’t modify the op but what I was going to say is that there is this deep competition in that community

Klass99:
I have only heard from a friend and one relative abroad. 90% of my phone conversations with said friend was about the drama of their Nigerian group in their host country.

I heard about people I don't know personally, heard of drama that was none of my business, yada, yada, yada. At first I listened to her because a lot of the group dynamics/issues bothered her, as she was at the centre of some it, but subsequently it became exhausting for me.

I had to ask her one day did you go there for your masters programme or to socialise and fratenise with the Nigerian community over there? Why do you get embroiled in all this drama? Who sent you message to be organizing bridal showers, birthday hangouts, etc? Is that what you left Naija for or a masters degree?

I tend to know so much about peoples personal lives. Information that should be very private. People seem to love to spread too much gossip in those spaces

Unclebayo:
you're asking people living in iragbiji and ogbomosho if they've noticed toxic community in UK... Kontinew playing

Hahahah

I have tend to notice that the nigerian community “abroad” is toxic. People are just filled with too much gossip, people also try to one up you, you wonder if they are your friends. Some come to your personal life and after its a mess as they come with a wave of drama to it.

Sometimes its annoying being in those spaces because its all about ‘this guy’s wife sleeping with different men who are sleeping with different girls and so on and so forth. It’s kind of annoying

Has anyone noticed this? Thoughts

Maduekkkkksssss

nooniiiii

superCleanworks:
these two are clear signs of a dangerously shallow brained and erratic person that can kill you and cry crocodile tears at your burial.

See you, See early grave.
even the bible says RESIST THE DEVIL.

Leave the guy. I only hope he doesn’t learn it the hard way

tnenge:
This is no fiction or story. I DNT want to include name, pictures or state to avoid negative comments from some ppl.
My wife abuses me physically, psychologically and even spiritually.. these are some of my pains..
1. She stopped me from performing any conjugal afffair when she was 3months pregnant till now. Our son is 1yr some months now.
2. Physical abuse
3. Death threats 3 times, when I told her family she brought a defense that she only say that in her anger state.
4. Out of same anger she went out naked bfo ppl in my compound n rain curses on me.
I sent her back to her parents. After some days She went and made some crocodile cries before my parents and now my parents and that of her's are calling to beg, telling me she has repented. Now my family are telling me to err is Human and forgiveness is divine. Am running for my life but my friends are equally saying I shd let go the past.
My fellow nairalanders, i made a promise to make my self and parents proud.. pls advice a brother.

Brother, I have been in this exact situation. Believe when I tell you to RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!!

Please do not ignore this please

The people around you are only giving you advice based in their perception of the situation. You are the one in it and see it live. You will not run here if it was all peace.

Please if you have never done this before, believe in yourself and leave!!!!!!!!!

I can guarantee you one thing. Those so called friends of yours do not really feel what you are going through.

Domestic violence against men is one of the hidden devils that plague men today because there is no good outlet, we feel shame talking about it and no one will even believe which makes it worse.

This advice is from a first hand experience.

Run away for your peace

If you think the violence will stop because she cried and apologise, I promise you to prepare to be shaken beyond your imagination.

Women are masters of manipulation. In the long run, you will regret it and she will blame you for it all.

This advice is for you to save yourself 1st!!

Lol