 Politics › Re: Forgive Me For Your Prison Experience, Lamido Begs Sons(pics) by huthority01(m): 9:09am On Jul 20, 2015 |
coolestrogue:
This great man was victimized by Buhari, while the others(saraki and co) are roaming about. that's the man who many parties look up to woo for 2019, a very strong and standing man in the north. The aligation and imprisonment is just to tarsh is political image ahead of the next general election. |
| Politics › Re: THROWBACK: How Gowon Declined U.S. President’s Invitation To Visit America. by huthority01(op): 7:30pm On Jul 19, 2015 |
FRONT PAGE MOD........ |
| Politics › THROWBACK: How Gowon Declined U.S. President’s Invitation To Visit America. by huthority01(op): 6:23pm On Jul 19, 2015 |
President Muhammadu Buhari is on his way to the United States to honour an invitation for a state visit to Washington, extended to him by President Barack Obama on June 25.
Mr. Buhari would be in the U.S. for four days, meeting President Obama, top level officials of the American government, American business leaders, Nigerians in the Diaspora and members of the American War College Class of 1980 in which he was a participant.
But let’s flash back to 1971, 44 years ago, when a Nigerian leader – Yakubu Gowon – diplomatically spurned the kind of invitation Mr. Buhari is honouring today. [We are publishing this just for historical purpose only].
According to declassified diplomatic documents seen by PREMIUM TIMES, the 37th President of the United States, Richard Nixon, had written to then Nigeria Head of State, Major General Gowon, requesting him to make a state visit to his country in October of that year.
Mr. Gowon initially accepted the invitation, saying he would request Nigeria’s foreign ministry officials to work out a convenient itinerary for the visit.
But the Nigerian leader, then just 37, later changed his mind, writing to President Nixon to say he was too busy at home, and in Africa, for any visit to America.
In the September 18, 1971 letter, Mr. Gowon wrote, “I am afraid I am still not free of my immediate preoccupations at home and in Africa. With the coming fall and winter, and having regard to the arrangements which you will have to make in so short a time to receive me in the midst of your other many pressing engagements, I hesitate to suggest that the visit be postponed till later in the year.”
He added, “I deeply regret my inability to visit your country this year. The decision has been forced on me by circumstances beyond my control. As a man with an abiding interest in my country and Africa, I trust that you will understand my position.” [Read full letter below].
In his October 29, 1971, response to Mr. Gowon, a disappointed President Nixon said he had looked forward to meeting the Nigerian leader in Washington D.C. and regretted the postponement of the visit.
“I want to assure you that my invitation remains open, and I hope that, as our respective commitments for next year become clearer, it will be possible to find a mutually convenient time for our meeting.” [Read Mr. Nixon’s full letter below]
If Mr. Gowon had accepted that invitation and proceeded on the journey, that would have been his first and only visit to the U.S. during his about nine-year tenure.
It is not clear whether American Presidents before or after Mr. Nixon (who resigned from office in 1974 in the wake of the Watergate scandal) extended similar invitations to the Nigerian leader, but Mr. Gowon did not visit the U.S. until he was overthrown in a coup d’état on July 29, 1975.
Those familiar with Nigeria’s diplomatic posturing of that time said Mr. Gowon was only “courteous and diplomatic” by telling President Nixon the visit should be postponed to a later date.
They said once Mr. Gowon received Mr. Nixon’s invitation, a decision was taken by the Nigerian authorities that Mr. Gowon should “tactically decline” in what was conceived to be a powerful message to the American authorities that Nigeria remained disappointed by “the U.S. snobbish and cunny posturing during the Nigerian civil war”.
Nigeria had at the time just come out of a brutal 30-month civil war with the secessionist Republic of Biafra, a conflict which led to the killing of more than 100,000 soldiers and over a million civilians.
Although the U.S. tried hard to be seen as neutral during the war, the Nigerian authorities believed the country tacitly supported Biafra by failing to sell arms to the Nigerian Army and then accusing Nigeria of killing civilians through a deadly blockade of relief efforts.
The 1970s is believed to be the golden era of Nigeria’s foreign diplomacy. The country had competent and confident diplomats almost always able to stand up to American and European officials to push Nigeria’s interest.
On one occasion that speaks volumes of that era, a blunt Nigerian official told a United States ambassador that Nigeria was not one of America’s “banana republics,” stirring anxiety in Washington.
The comments were made by Joe Iyalla, a permanent secretary in the Gowon administration and a respected career diplomat.
In 1972, according to diplomatic documents seen by PREMIUM TIMES, Mr. Iyalla summoned the US ambassador to Nigeria, John Reinhardt, and detailed to him the sins of America, in a peculiar way worthy of reference today.
He accused the United States of maltreating Nigerians in the U.S, and failing to investigate the killing of a Nigerian amongst other shortcomings in what he said formed a “trend and pattern” showing the Richard Nixon administration’s effort at undermining Nigeria.
One case, for which Mr. Iyalla also sought explanation for, was the case of American businessmen and politicians arriving Nigeria for a business interest, and gearing to have an audience with the then head of state, Mr. Gowon, without prior appointment.
“I think we got them straight,” Mr. Iyalla told Mr. Reinhardt, “and they now realize that Nigeria is not one of your banana republics.”
Mr. Reinhardt regretted the events, but explained that the U.S. government could not be held responsible for all the transgressions of its citizens abroad.
BELOW IS GOWON’S LETTER TO PRESIDENT NIXON
STATE HOUSE
DODAN BARRACKS
LAGOS, NIGERIA
18th September, 1971.
His Excellency
Mr. Richard M. Nixon
President of the United States of America,
The White House,
WASHINGTON, D.C.
My dear Mr. President,
I wrote to you earlier in the year to accept with profound gratitude your very kind invitation to me to visit the United States of America. While our officials were trying to suggest mutually convenient dates for the visit, I continued my programme of State Visits to a number of African countries particularly to thank their Governments and peoples for the unwavering support they gave to me during the civil war in my country as well as to promote vital interests common to our peoples.
At the same time, I was, and continue to be, intensely preoccupied with the formulation and implementation of my country’s current Development Plan. In the midst of the foregoing commitments, I have had to accept a number of urgently necessary assignments under the aegis of the Organisation or African Unity affecting the peace and progress of Africa. In the firm belief that my visit to your great country would cement further the cordial and friendly relations which so happily exist between our two countries, I still hoped to be able to visit your country this year. Hence the delay in indicating my preferences for the dates in October suggested by your officials.
I am afraid I am still not free of my immediate preoccupations at home and in Africa. With the coming fall and winter, and having regard to the arrangements which you will have to make in so short a time to receive me in the midst of your other many pressing engagements, I hesitate to suggest that the visit be postponed till later in the year. Consequently, I want to take the liberty of our friendship to express the hope that your invitation to me to visit you remains still valid and open. I shall therefore be highly delighted if another mutually acceptable date for my visit can be fixed through our diplomatic channels, preferably not within this year.
I deeply regret my inability to visit your country this year. The decision has been forced on me by circumstances beyond my control. As a man with an abiding interest in my country and Africa, I trust that you will understand my position.
Accept, Mr. President, the assurances of my highest consideration.
(MAJOR-GENERAL YAKUBU GOWON)
Head of the Federal Military Government,
Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces
of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.
BELOW IS PRESIDENT NIXON’S RESPONSE TO MR. GOWON
THE WHITE HOUSE
WASHINGTON
October 29, 1971
Dear General Gowon:
Thank you for your kind letter of September 18 explaining the urgent concerns in Nigeria and Africa which rule out for the present your undertaking a journey to the United States.
I have looked forward to our meeting and genuinely regret its postponement. At the same time, however, I am encouraged by the ongoing success of your Government’s policies at home and the broadening scope of your personal involvement in decisions affecting peace and prosperity in Africa.
In these endeavors, you have my continuing support and my warmest wishes for success. I want to assure you that my invitation remains open, and I hope that, as our respective commitments for next year become clearer, it will be possible to find a mutually convenient time for our meeting.
Sincerely,
Richard M. Nixon
His Excellency
General YAKUBU GOWON
Head of State and Commander-in-Chief SOURCE: http://www.premiumtimesng.com/news/186912-throwback-how-gowon-declined-u-s-presidents-invitation-to-visit-america.html
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| Education › Quotes To Live By…. by huthority01(op): 4:14pm On Jul 19, 2015 |
“The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively”
Ultimately we will be remembered not by what we have but by what we have done for others. Let your legacy be one of positive impact.
“Don’t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright”
More often than not, if you allow it, things turn out BETTER than we thought. With a positive attitude and a focus on gratitude, things often work out!
“The winds that sometimes take something we love, are the same that bring us something we learn to love. Therefore we should not cry about something that was taken from us, but, yes, love what we have been given. Because what is really ours is never gone forever.”
We can’t hold on to the past and the future at the same time. Everyone who comes in and out your life has done so at the perfect time. Everyone you have met has been there to teach you something. Everyone one or everything thing you have lost has done so for the same reason. You can’t control what happens, but you CAN CONTROL what it means. Its all about learning and growing. With that said, when you love someone or something with your heart and not your eyes, there is no separation.
“The people who were trying to make this world worse are not taking the day off.
Why should I?”
The negativity is consistent! The doubt is consistent! That’s why your optimism, faith and contribution need to be just as consistent!!
“If you get down and quarell everyday, you’re saying prayers to the devil, I say.”
You get more of what you focus on. When we focus on negativity, that ends up being all we can recognize. Starve your fears and feed your faith! |
| Romance › 3 Step Guide To Tying The Knot At The Ikoyi Marriage Registry... by huthority01(op): 6:28am On Jul 18, 2015 |
Here a step by step guide on expect when seeking to wed at the registry (Nigerian to Nigerian)
Step 1 (FORMS)
Obtain and fill out form called “NOTICE OF MARRIAGE” (see downloads to preview this form). When filling out this form, all birth names of couples should be boldly written with both surnames underlined. One(1) passport of each couple should also be attached. (please note that a stipulated fee is charged on submission of this form)
Return to the registry after 21 days with already filled forms. You would be given another set of forms “AFFIDAVIT ON APPLICATION FOR CERTIFICATE”. This form is to be submitted with the birth certificate of both parties (in absent of a birth certificate a Declaration of Age can be presented).
The next form to be filled is the CERTIFICATE OF BACHELORHOOD/SPINSTERHOOD. If couples had been previously married an AFFIDAVIT OF MARRIAGE should be presented instead of the CERTIFICATE OF BACHELORHOOD/SPINSTERHOOD. If one or both couple had children before this marriage, an Affidavit should also be presented stating the number of children. On enquiry why this was, I was told that is was for the purpose of fairness and transparency.(please note that a stipulated fee is charged for these forms)
A date for interview for couple is set
Step 2 (REQUIREMENTS)
You are required to notify the registry on your preferred wedding date.
You are required to provide two witness from both parties.(please note it’s not genders specific)
You are expected to present 2 rings(male and female) or a bible/Quran as the case may be
Step 3 (WHAT TO WEAR)
Wedding dresses and Suits
Native attire
Corporate ensemble
(Please note that short sleeves, shorts and jeans are not allowed)
Nigerian to non-Nigerian/ non-Nigerian to non-Nigerian
Step 1 (FORMS)
Obtain a form called the “particular for special marriage license. This form aims at getting enough information and data about the couple.
Written application for special marriage license by either spouse
Birth certificates or attestation of age of the couple from the national population commission(for Nigerians only)
Scanned copies of data pages of international passport of the couple and stamped entry page(where applicable)
One recent passport of the couple (each)
Certificate or letter of identification from state of origin (Nigerians only)
Sworn affidavit of bachelorhood or spinsterhood from a law court or recognized institution with the evidence of a payment of prescribed fee or If couples had been previously married an AFFIDAVIT OF MARRIAGE or;
Sworn affidavit/evidence of single with child/children from law court or recognized institution with evidence of payment of prescribed fees.
While foreign nationals should provide any of A-D(as applicable) above from equivalent/institution in their countries.
Payment of prescribed fees.
NOTE: YOU ARE TO PROVIDE ORIGINAL COPIES OF THE ABOVE DOCUMENTS ON THE DAY OF YOUR INTERVIEW.
Step 2 and 3
as seen above still apply
Now you have it peeps! Go get married…..hitch free |
| Crime › Re: Why on earth will a mother or father do this ? by huthority01(op): 6:12am On Jul 18, 2015 |
VickyRotex:
Hilarious kor, funnylious ni.
So this is funny to you? Or do I say you just see people using the word, but you don't know it meaning.
No vex me o  Evry funny to me oooOOOOO......... cuz i find it vry difficult to believe it a mother will do such after carrying a pregnancy for 9months. |
| Christianity Etc › Israeli Scientists Create World’s Smallest Bible by huthority01(op): 5:41am On Jul 18, 2015 |
[b]The Bible is known for many things. It is the most revered book for Christians, and it also contains sacred texts for the Jews. It is also the most widely translated book in the world, having been translated into 2,400 of the world’s 6,800 languages.
Now, the Bible also holds the distinction as one of the few books to have a nano version—a version with text so small that it could fit on the tip of a pen.
The world’s smallest version of the Bible, conceived by Uri Sivan and Ohad Zohar, was created by scientists from the Technion- Israel Institute of Technology in Haifa, located in Northern Israel.
How exactly was this diminutive version of the Holy Book made? The scientists created a very thin layer of silicon, with a thickness of less than 100 atoms, to which they placed a golden plating.
Using a focused ion beam, a machine usually used in the semiconductor industry to etch surfaces, the scientists carefully engraved 1.2 million characters, one at a time, blasting away the gold plating to reveal the silicon beneath.
Sivan, one of those who conceptualized the Nano Bible, said he wanted to spark people’s interest both in God’s Word and technology.
“More than any other book, the Bible symbolizes the transmission of human civilization from one generation to another. We tried to connect to the device. We wanted to get people curious about the revolution that is taking place before their eyes,” he said.[/b] 
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| Crime › Why on earth will a mother or father do this ? by huthority01(op): 5:30am On Jul 18, 2015*. Modified: 6:14am On Jul 18, 2015 |
Why on earth will a mother or father do this ?
see pix below... 
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| Romance › 5 Relationship Problems Faced By Couples Who Get Married Early by huthority01(op): 4:18am On Jul 18, 2015 |
1...Problems With In Laws: This is another problem young married couples face. If you get married too early, you wouldn't give an opportunity for creating a good rapport with your in laws. You wouldn't know them too well and problems can surface before you realize it.
2...Feeling Restricted And Stuck Up Well, if you get married and haven't been in any kind of relationship prior to your marriage, then you cannot be more stuck up, can you? You might not realize it now but you will, sooner or later.
3...Taking Up Responsibilities Taking up responsibilities are a common problem, once again not confined only to couples who marry young. However, people who get married early in their life face a greater hurdle as far as division of responsibility is concerned.
4...Giving Each Other Time Some couples want each other so much that they just cannot wait, can they? If wanting each other too leads you to get married early, well, things wouldn't be all that rosy post marriage.
5....Communication Problems This is relevant to the previously mentioned point of giving each other time. Communication problems strike couples who marry young, mostly owing to heightened individual focus on careers and jobs. |
| Jobs/Vacancies › Re: I Got This From GIS, Who Else Did? by huthority01(op): 8:24pm On Jul 17, 2015 |
The registration is closed for now bro, i will keep the house informed as regards any update: Benny4:
Ummmm, can u give me the link to register, cos i cant seem to go to the registration as the one you posted is going directly to the job posting. Thanks for ur response.. |
| Jobs/Vacancies › Re: I Got This From GIS, Who Else Did? by huthority01(op): 2:17pm On Jul 17, 2015 |
Benny4:
Plz what is the "Interns Unique Beneficiary code".... Plz Reply ASAP! Thanks Its a unique code given after successful registration. |
| Career › Re: Obama The Gay Lord by huthority01(m): 1:43am On Jul 17, 2015 |
FTC; |
| Jobs/Vacancies › Re: I Got This From GIS, Who Else Did? by huthority01(op): 1:20am On Jul 17, 2015 |
taiwotosho22:
@huthority & @jerome Is your state listed among the states? Nope bro: it doesn't have to do it ur state of origin but ur state of resident. |
| Jobs/Vacancies › Re: Startimes Invite by huthority01(m): 1:00am On Jul 17, 2015 |
Ftc: Dedicated to a wife am proud to be her husband.
MOD' Front Page . |
| Culture › Re: What Is The Bride Price In Your Own Hometown? by huthority01(m): 7:10pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
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| Jobs/Vacancies › Re: I Got This From GIS, Who Else Did? by huthority01(op): 6:54pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
janengozi:
have you been matched by gis already. I applied since December 2014 |
| Jobs/Vacancies › Re: I Got This From GIS, Who Else Did? by huthority01(op): 6:53pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
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| Culture › Re: What Is The Bride Price In Your Own Hometown? by huthority01(m): 4:11pm On Jul 16, 2015 |
42 Bitter kolas (Orogbo)
42 Tubers of yam (Isu)
42 Kolanuts (Obi abata)
42 Chilli/Alligator Peppers (Atare)
42 pieces of dried Fish (Eja Osan)
1 Dish of peppered corn meal (Aadun)
1 Pack of Sugar
2 Baskets of Fruit
2 Decanters filled with honey
4 Crates of canned or bottled soft drinks
4 Crates malt soft drinks
4 Cartons of bottled water
2 Bottles of non alcoholic wine
2 Cartons of fruit juice
1 Bag of salt
1 Bag of rice
1 Umbrella
1 Goat
1 Keg of palm wine
1 Keg of groundnut oil
1 Big suitcase containing clothes, shoes and hand bags including aso-oke fabric, 2 sets of lace with gele and 2 sets of ankara
1 Wrist watch, Earrings and Chains
Biscuits and Sweets
Engagement rings for bride and groom
Bible(for Christians)
Monitory / Fees
Owo Ori (The Bride Price) – Varies
Owo Ijoko Agba (Money for the elders consent) – N,1000
Owo Baba Gbo (Money for the bride’s father’s consent) – N,1000
Owo Iya Gbo (Money for the bride’s mother’s consent) – N1,000
Owo Ikanlekun(Door knocking fee) – N1000
Owo Isiju Iyawo (Fee for unveiling the bride) – N1,000
Owo Aeroplane (Bride transportation fee) – N1,000
Owo Iyawo Ile (Money for the Housewives) -N500
Owo Omo Ile (Money for the Children of the household) – N500
Owo letter kika (Letter reading fee)-N500
Owo Telephone (Fee to call the bride out) – N500
Owo Isigba (Engagement gifts unveiling fee) – N500
Owo Alaga Ijoko (Master of Ceremonies fee) – N500 |
| Career › Re: Working With A Falsified Statement Of Result For 2 Yrs by huthority01(m): 12:02pm On Jul 15, 2015 |
CUM4WHAT:
.Forget the guy jooor...
Lets go downstairs and make babies.... Na jelossy dey worry her.........more so for him to have got the job, it means he's gat more dan what it take and worth more than his certificate.. babe forget story u hear? |
| Jobs/Vacancies › Re: I Got This From GIS, Who Else Did? by huthority01(op): 11:42am On Jul 15, 2015 |
Front Page pls |
| Jobs/Vacancies › I Got This From GIS, Who Else Did? by huthority01(op): 10:11am On Jul 15, 2015 |
Dear Omoniyi Internship opportunities are available to interested graduates in 7 States (FCT, LAGOS, AKWA IBOM, CROSS RIVER, DELTA, EDO AND IMO) in the following sectors: Ø Agriculture & Export Promotion Sector Ø ICT & Telecommunication Ø Banking / Finance / Accounting / Audit Ø Manufacturing & Services Ø Education & Real Estate Ø Hospitality & Health Ø Power & Others. Opportunities is opened ONLY to those registered on the GRADUATE INTERNSHIP SCHEME (GIS), SURE-P IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN ANY SECTOR FILL OUT THE FORM WITH THE LINK AND MAKE YOUR SELECTION BELOW Click the link highlighted below or if link is not highlighted copy link and paste it on a browser to complete the survey. http:///forms/H8BkeFZE4vDEADLINE FOR SUBMISSION IS ON FRIDAY 17TH JULY, 2015. |
| Family › Re: PHOTOS: Driver Knocked Out Two Teeth From His Baby Mama by huthority01(m): 12:11pm On Jul 14, 2015 |
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| Politics › Re: No Genuine Reason To Remove Oil Subsidy Yet–buhari by huthority01(m): 10:48am On Jul 14, 2015 |
I dont thinks Nigerian(s) need another political campaign based on denial and avoidance of some of our real problems. It needs a crusade to reform and renew our country, this same subsidy he uesd as the basis of his campaign and now he's not seeing any reason for the remover......
God save Nigeria and Nigerian |
| Family › Re: What Will You Do If Your Spouse Slaps You In Public? by huthority01(m): 11:23pm On Jul 11, 2015 |
I will HUG and give her a KISS |
| Crime › Re: BREAKING: Boko Haram Seizes Damaturu-maiduguri Road by huthority01(op): 8:05pm On Jul 11, 2015 |
Where are the JTF ? |
| Crime › BREAKING: Boko Haram Seizes Damaturu-maiduguri Road by huthority01(op): 8:00pm On Jul 11, 2015 |
Reports reaching PREMIUM TIMES say Boko Haram militants have taken over the highway linking Maiduguri and Damaturu, capitals of Borno and Yobe states respectively. A police officer stationed in one of the villages along the highway, told PREMIUM TIMES that travellers are being asked to return as the terrorists have taken over the road between Benisheik (a town 85km away from Maiduguri) and Ngamdu (35km away from Damaturu). The officer, who asked that his identity be protected for security reasons, said the terrorists had attacked Ngamdu village and killed 10 persons there. SOURCE: http://nigeriana.org/184448.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Jetheights+%28Jobemy+Nigeria%29 |
| Politics › Re: Senator Solomon Adeola Attacks Ekweremmadu Over Comments On Boko Haram by huthority01(m): 8:34pm On Jul 10, 2015 |
What is it with APC and this gentle man for God sake? |
| Family › Re: 23 Ways To Win Over Your Mother-in-law by huthority01(m): 7:20pm On Jul 10, 2015 |
Ibiyomee:
Are you married? About to marry? Are you terrified at the mere mention of the name ‘mother-in-law’? Do you feel a few drops of hot urine stream down your panties when you hear your mother-in-law knocking at the door? Well, I grew up in West Africa and I know that some mothers-in-law are actually matters-in-law (but that is not to say that all daughters-in-law are angels). So, how do you become best of friends with the mother of your husband and lover? Let’s roll!
As a wife, it is a great fear lurking in your heart, and you wonder: Will my mother-in-law tear us apart? Will she hate me with passion? Or love me like a daughter? What can I do? What will I do? Will he support her and tell me to go to hell? Get a glass of chilled pineapple juice and relax! I can feel your heart thumping already, and yeah, get a handkerchief and wipe off the steamy sweat! The legendary war between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has
been there from the beginning of time but with wisdom, you will not only survive it, you will be a darling daughter to your mama-in-law. Memorize these tips, girl!
1. Never See Your Mother-In-Law As Your Rival:
Actions start from thoughts and you nursing such dangerous ideas will only lead you astray. See her as who she is:
your mother-in-law and the mother of your husband, and hopefully, your newest female friend. She is NOT your rival.
Some ladies enter marriage with a nuclear arsenal and the mindset of ‘demolishing’ their ‘enemy’. Don’t create
problems for yourself. As a woman thinketh in her heart, so she is.
2. Do Not Put Him In A Tight Corner:
Some ladies go to the silly extent of giving the guy an ultimatum or asking that nauseating question to choose
between you and his mother (like who does that?) If you cannot differentiate between maternal love and spousal love,then you are not ready to become a wife. Your roles are different, distinct AND separate. It is a bad husband who will ask you to choose between him or your own mother. Water and oil are both liquids, but
they just don’t mix. Hope you get that, sweetheart? Next!
3. Become A Detective:
Huh? I don’t mean you have to take up a job with the FBI or the SSS, but hell yes, get as much information as
possible about your mother-in-law. Know her preferences, understand her thinking, comprehend what she likes
(especially what will make her laugh no matter how angry she is) and those things that really makes her go gaga
with fury. Such CIA job should not be too much for you to do for a woman you will be stuck with for years. I said be a detective and not a spy….lol! Your hubby will surely help you with that.
4. Be Respectful And Courteous:
According to the Yorubas, ile oko, ile eko ni. What that means is that marriage is a place to learn (especially
manners, etiquette and good behaviour). If you really love and respect your husband in the first place, you will have no problem with this. If you are too pompous, arrogant or downright disrespectful, you may as well stop reading here. In virtually all the societies of the world, respecting your in-laws is very crucial to having a warm relationship with them and stabilizing your own marriage. However, I must mention something very important here: to be respectful does not mean you should become a slave or servant. You are a wife and you must always maintain your
dignity. Do not be rude but be firm. A daughter-in-law does not have the same spelling as a housemaid. Hope you
get my English?
5. Never Make The Mistake:
Of what? Of pointing out a mistake, flaw or error of your mother-in-law in front of your hubby. You are his wife and as a lady, there are much more subtle and cunny ways to draw his attention. Do not criticize your mother-in-law. Ridicule her, you ridicule your lover, and of course, the granny of your kids. According to Shimon Peres, the Israeli President, there are two things in life that you cannot achieve without closing a bit of your eyes: peace and love. Let me rephrase that: the personal lifestyle of your MIL is not your business.
6. Do Not Be Too Forward:
Inasmuch as you are to be proactive when relating with your mother-in-law, do not try too hard to impress. Do not
go to her place everyday (familiarity breeds contempt) but see her on special occasions or when she requests to see
your lovely face (with or without your husband and kids). According to one of the 48 Laws of Power, scarcity will
always create value. If you don’t believe that, why are diamonds much more valued than stones and rocks? You will
come out as fake and you may even be suspected of having a hidden agenda if you are always trying too hard.
Remember how that girlfriend of yours irritates you with her fake life? Be yourself, be natural and genuine. She will appreciate that.
7. Let Her Know You Love Him:
Yes, forget the superficial jealousy, a mother-in-law will love you to pieces when she knows that her son is in safe hands. But, that has to be done with maturity. Every mother wants a good wife for her son but their maternal
instincts makes it difficult for them to just let go. Blame the hormones. Prove to her (by your actions) that you are caring enough and you will over-ride her instincts.
8. Appreciate Her Gestures Of Kindness:
Not all mother-in-laws are devils. Some are really really very nice and will love you immensely even before they
meet you. Appreciate them and not take them for granted.
9. Discuss With Him:
In a case where your duties as a wife are being encroached by an overbearing mother-in-law who will dictate what
he eats or what he wears, register your displeasure with him (but relate well with her). A loving husband will come
back to his senses, and a sensible hubby will not even allow such a scenario in the first place.
10. Place Yourself In Her Shoes:
Know that it hurts her and is a patch of mixed feelings. Yes, he is your husband but it’s still her son, even though she now knows that another lady (YOU!) will now get all the attention and devotion that she has received
UNCHALLENGED for decades. She will subconsciously see you as a coup-plotter ovethrowing her ‘government’, and
displacing her from power. Once you understand this, you should be smart enough to sympathize with her by
reacting with wisdom. In short, do not take everything personal.
11. Detach Yourself When It Gets Too Hot:
If she is still determined to give you a tough time and make life hell for you, detach yourself emotionally and discuss with your husband. Just know that some mother-in-laws are incorrigible and can never be satisfied. Do not kill yourself over that. Maintain your distance but never disrespect her or worsen the condition. At this point, your hubby will do the rest of the healing.
12. Gauge Yourself:
Are you wicked yourself? Yes, you. Stop rolling your eyes…lol! Is there anything evil or indecent about you that is always pissing off your mother-in-law? For the sake of your marriage and peace in your home, assess yourself and
make sure that there is no fault from your own side.
13. Draw The Lines:
You married her son, and not her. Let her know when she is crossing the boundaries. Do this compassionately and
very subtly. Get clues from your spouse. In the African setting, many mother-in-laws find it very easy to intimidate wives who do not seem firm or do not even know the basic responsibilities of a wife. But remember, in asserting your rights as a wife, do it with the tact and skills of a diplomat. Don’t get him irritated.
14. Sync Her Up With Your Own Mother:
Mothers-in-law suffer from the same ‘son absence syndrome’ and always understand themselves better. Also, being
of the same generation, age and mentality, your MIL is more likely to get along better with your mother than you, a
‘flashy’ babe of the 21st century. Let your mother handle that aspect. A good relationship between the two women
will only tip the table in your favour, okay? Good.
15. Communicate With Her:
Did your heart just skip a beat?! I hear some of the ladies saying ‘Over my dead body! I can’t have anything to do
with my mother-in-law’. Remember, loving the honey and hating the bees is not only hypocritical, it does not make
sense. Choose your time very well, when she is in high spirits and have a deep, mother-daughter discussion with her. Do not avoid your MIL. You will only succeed in making yourself more of a stranger (which was your status before).
16. Be kind and compassionate:
Especially if she is of frail health. You’ve got a mother too and one day, you will also become a mother-in-law.
Remember the Golden Rule, and yeah, the Law of Karma.
17. Chill:
Most of the time, mothers-in-law do not have any evil behind even the most mischievous of their actions. They are
only a bit insecure thinking that no person is good enough for their child, or a woman has come to spoil the existing mother-son relationship. Such a reaction is perfectly normal and natural. Do not give yourself sleepless nights over that. Studies have show that most of the time, they mean no harm.
18. let him take up responsibility:
Make sure your husband performs his roles and fulfills his responsibilities as a child to parents. Apart from the fact that you will be laying a very good foundation for your own kids, no one will accuse you of being a callous wife who made him turn his back on his siblings and parents. Be very firm and insistent on this. That he is madly in love with you does not mean he should forget his source. Remind him if he drifts off, it will be to your benefit.
19. Do Not Let Your Ego Get In The Way:
Do not think twice before apologizing and making amends if you have offended her. But do not degrade yourself for
something you’ve never done. Do not allow anyone to blackmail you into submission or surrender. Funnily enough,
she may find it difficult to apologize to you because of many reasons. Do not take that to heart. It is the pride of a mother-in-law.
20. Avoid Arguments With Her:
Oh, you prefer to cook meat by boiling it and she prefers steaks? Do not drag the issue needlessly. Calmly agree.
Remember arguments with even your own Mom do not always come out nicely. It is better to lose an argument to
your mother-in-law than for you to lose your mother-in-law to an argument. Use your head and keep your debating
skills for your girlfriends (especially if you are a lawyer…lmao!)
21. Always See The Good Side Of Your MIL:
Positivity helps. Avoid being judgmental. You cannot form that bond of love if you are always judging her.
22. Let Her Mingle With Her Grandchildren Freely.
Studies have shown that mother-in-laws actually see your own kids as 100% theirs! If she wants to pamper them to
high heavens and take them out and have them to herself all day long at the beach, just let them go. You will even
have the whole house to yourself and your husband! And what can be better than that? #winks!
23. Pray, pray and PRAY!
For those who think MILs are overbearing, you need to realize that she actually made him who he is. She fed him,
suffered for him, was hurt because of him, kept him safe and warm, watched him grow…all these understandably
makes her possessive (she has the right to), and that is normal (are you not jealously possessive of your hubby even without all these, yes, you now gerrit). She may also be afraid or insecure that she will grow old and the son she has laboured for all her life will forget and abandon her. As a daughter-in-law, ease all these fears, see things through her lenses and you become best of friends!
Remember that even the strongest of marriages can be destroyed with inlaw troubles. Be smart, diplomatic and calm
in all your dealings. A friendly disposition will go a long way to helping you and making friends out of your enemies. At times, you may need to work very hard to make it work but do not give up because it is worth it.
http://www.informationng.com/2015/06/23-ways-to-win-over-your-mother-in-law-2.html Personally, we find the whole bride-to-be vs. mother-in-law power struggle to be a bit overstated. It's not like we're ever going to actively choose one of you over the other. That's far too much work. We prefer to remain completely aloof to the whole thing while it gets sorted out around us. To ensure we can stay out of it when the time comes, we're letting you know now what will surely keep you in our mother's good graces. Recognize If the whole idea is that this tug of war happens because she knew us first and you take care of us now (and again, we say "if" because we don't buy this as that big a deal), then the simplest move for you is to simply "get" that. Understand where she's coming from and just kind of deal with it. So she's quick to remind you our favorite meal is her homemade lasagna when you know we'd much prefer your "dump everything in the crock pot surprise" every day of the week. Big deal. Suck it up and let her have the moment. You'll win her over by tacitly admitting you'll never win the battle (even while you're mentally targeting her with Jedi mind control rays). Open Up As far as wedding jobs and responsibilities go, mother of the groom is one of the lamest. If you want to make her truly happy, just give our mom something to do. Seriously, anything. She just wants to be involved and feel like you trust her to help. She may be most excited to join you for a dress fitting or help us choose cake (actually, forget that, we get all the cake), but you could have her do the crap that makes you want to stab your eyes out just reading it in your to-do list and she'll crush it. Congratulations, you've just scored points for the future by having someone do your dirty laundry for you. Like a boss. See more: 5 Things You Should Never Say to Your Future Mother-in-Law Reach Out Yes, we know, you have your own mother, and thank you for reminding us again. Nobody's asking you to be besties with our mom (admit you love it when we say things like "besties"  , but we would highly recommend building some sort of relationship with her outside of us. Things will be leaps and bounds smoother in the future if you can start understanding each other now without requiring us to mediate. This is key. Game's on. We can't be over here mediating. Call The single highest-impact tactic you can employ to win our mother's love forever is to pick up the phone and dial her, or convince us to do so. Why? Because we never will. It's not that we don't love our mom (hi, mom!) but we just won't ever call her. Knowing this, and seeing that we now have an awesome everyday companion who has taken over the duties of keeping us warm at night (aww yeah), our mom will start to worry that she's going to lose touch with us forever. That's where, if you ask us, this whole thing starts and ends. So keep the lines of the communication open and let her know she'll continue to remain an important part of our lives. If anything she should rest assured knowing we've found someone else to eventually change our diapers. SOURCE: http://www.brides.com/blogs/aisle-say/2015/03/how-to-win-over-mother-in-law.html |
| Romance › 24 Ways To Keep A Relationship Working (advice)................................. by huthority01(op): 6:57pm On Jul 10, 2015 |
1. Love each other
2. Don't lie
3. Keep communication open
4. Stay sweet
5. When you get hurt just forgive and forget
6. Never talk about break-ups
7. Never say it's okay even when it's not
8. Forget about "pride"
9. If you say sorry mean it
10. Don't compare your past with
11. Don't talk about your stupid ex's
12. Give and take process
13. Beware of his/her feelings
14. When you had a fight, don't let the day pass
15. Don't be the perfect one, be the right one.
16.Listen without interrupting
17.Speak without accusing
18.Give without sparing
19.Answer without arguing
20.Share without pretending
21.Enjoy without complaint
22.Trust without wavering
23.Forgive without
24.Promise without forgetting. |
| Politics › Re: Police Detail How Bukola Saraki Used Credit Card To Launder Stolen Funds - S.R by huthority01(m): 4:54pm On Jul 10, 2015 |
Can I ever be interested in SAHARAREPORTERS ?? |
| Politics › Re: Caption This Photo Of President Buhari With Ezekwesili & A Little Girl by huthority01(m): 4:51pm On Jul 10, 2015 |
PMB be like: Na today for #BBOG |
| Family › Think Through Math And Win Recharge Voucher Of N200 by huthority01(op): 4:45pm On Jul 10, 2015 |
Think Through Math and win for yourself recharge voucher of N 200 each................ “Terms and conditions apply”In months: I have lived 395 Months since my birth In days: 12035 days since my birth In hours: 288840 hours since my birth In minutes: 17330400 minutes since my birth And next birthday will be in 18 days time, How old am I ?
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