₦airaland Forum

Not having been in such a situation before, this is my opinion and should not constitute legal or administrative advice. Every job I have ever held at professional level has a caveat in their agreements that an employee is responsible for overpayment to them of any kind so how you should be responsible for that I don't get. Next time time you make a mistake while performing your primary duties, own up to it like you did but DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT use language that accepts or implies acceptance of consequences that you have no idea what they will be. Hope things work out for you.

dapsonlou:
Don't blame the man , he's traumatized by the Experience. It's not about any man touching his wife. Touching her bring back the painful memory. He felt like he couldn't protect his family and in his mind his manhood is question. He needs serious counseling.

You nailed it! For those saying the man is heartless, you are not in his shoes. The experience was traumatic for both albeit at different levels. What he does need to do is recognize he has a problem, seek counseling/therapy to work through it. If he does that, there is a chance their marriage can be salvaged. What he shouldn't do is walk out on her because the trauma will likely affect subsequent relationships unless he deals with the problem.

Tell him you'll make payment arrangement with the owners of the money (his parents). Agbaya boy!

2ndChance: I have seen similar threads on this topic before but never imagined it could happen in my marriage.
My wife and I have been married for about 10 years now and we have been blessed with both male and female children. For the first 7yrs of the marriage, I earned about 8x my wife's salary and everything was sweet and rosy. We were the envy of most families with houses and landed properties both in the village and the city where we live. But about 4yrs ago, my wife got a better job which made her salary slightly higher than mine. But more importantly, the new job gave her access to bulk money by way of loans, grants, etc and ever since, my family has never been the same again. My wife suddenly became unruly, she doesn't consult me on any issue concerning the family again. I have sat her down on countless occasions to know what the problem is but she refused to say what is responsible for her sudden change in attitude. Even when I seek her opinion on projects concerning the family, she shows indifference most times. I then resolved to continue to engage her and be as open as I can hoping that things would improve and indeed I really noticed some slight improvement. But when I was about to settle down and relax, I got the shocker of my life -my wife had built and completed a building without my knowledge! As if that was not shocking enough, I later found out that the man who has been fronting for her on the said project is the same Priest (Reverend Father) that joined us in holy matrimony!!!
I am really confused right now, having mood swings between laughing and angry at the same time. I just don't know how to handle this.

OP,

What is the sticking point in this situation? Is it that she built the house in her name or because she did it without consulting you? Did both you agree on finances and investments being joint or separate before getting married? If roles were reversed in this situation, will you consider it ok or outrageous if she leaves the home because of what you have done? The answers to these questions should form the basis of your subsequent actions on this issue.
While I understand the viewpoint of those that say you should send her packing, consider the effect it will have on your children. They are the ones that are innocent in this matter but will bear the brunt of the punishment if you send their mother packing. Before you take any steps, do some soul searching and see if you might have contributed to her behavior as a lot of men do throw it in their spouse's face when they make considerably more than she does. Once your soul searching is done, take a stand and fight (spiritually) for your home because your vows were till death do you part not till house or money do you part. All the best!!!

I don't understand why some parents feel it diminishes their children to speak their native language. My children can't speak mine and I would give anything to find a way around it but the common languages between my wife and I are English and Spanish

dazekid: Lol..PAWFECTION... fpt

Nice word play!

Nigeria, we have a problem.

A key member of the second arm of government has made the the right to be a paedophile his priority instead of finding solutions to myriad of problems that plague Nigeria. How in the name of anything good can anyone with functional reasoning faculty, claim a child has the ability to decide on marriage and deal with the attendant situations that accompany it when adults who are more matured find it difficult to do. He mentioned a few times the age of consent in the US which by the way is between 16 and 18 in all states with age difference between partners not more than three years.

Anything over three years gets the older partner charged with statutory rape resulting in jail time AND a place on the sex offenders register for life. Hopefully this debate wil make parents understand that they have a responsibility to educate their children and not see them as a get out of poverty card.

Originalsly: Hmmm...you live and you learn. I park very well...need only like 20cm clearance space front and back and a minute to park a car...parallel and close to the curb.About wheel not being straight....it shouldn't be straight. If you are parking on level road or the car is facing downhill...the wheels should be turned into the curb.If you are parking and the car is facing uphill the wheels should be turned outwards...as if to drive off.The reason being if for some reason the car should roll off it will be stopped by the curb or if no curb...it will roll in a circle. If parked with wheels straight it will roll down the street and increase speed the farther it travels and that would be a disaster.Do practice turning your wheels in or out if you are parking downhill or uphill.

+1

Mr.chippychappy:
[size=14pt]
Igbos(emenike / Mba) scoring the goals
Hausas(Moses/Musa) providing the assists
South south(Oboabona/Efe/Echijine) Manning the defence
Yoros shouting GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!


MEN I LOVE THIS ONE NAIJERIYA [/size]

Am Yoruba but I cant help laughing at this!

Metalgoong: ESPN live!!!!

ESPN 3

And behind quite a few unsuccessful ones too

ayobase: I thought there is always a woman behind every successful man!

Your situation is one I can relate to albeit from a male point of view. Male or female, be thankful you are parents as some people will give all they have to have a one child. There is no guarantee the male child you seek will not be a source of regret to you whil the girls are your pride and joy. Do not jeopardize your physical and mental health simply because you want to give your hubby a boy after all his "swimmers" determine the sex of the children.