oyinda.:

funny topic. i'm going to make a perfect wife then lol

are you forreal
seriously start looking for a non-nigerian if you mean those two responses you made. Otherwise, you will be husband-less for a very LONG timeeeeee.

I was surely being funny-I know, I know, I have a weird sense of humour, lol

ElRazur:

From what I recollect. The elbow, knees and joints in the feet and hands get used every day and as such have over the years evolved to better protect us, this have lead to hyper pigmentation of these areas. Also, it was also alleged that due to our forefathers crawling when hunting etc [Some African tribes still hunts in this manner], these areas become hardened and darked as well. Something that have been passed down us to us. And as with many things passed down the human chain, [gene] it can be more pronounced in some than in others.

I'm looking up for definite answers, and would post them if I come across anything.

wow! that is very interesting. I mean I know things are passed down genetically that are no longer necessary for today's environment like the appendix or goose pimples, but who'd knew darkened knees and elbows were a part of that? I actually found out there is actually a genetic, biological reason my backside is so huge-and that dates back to Africa, too-lol.

You are very well-educated and that is seriously sexy-boy, if I wasn't seriously dating somebody right now-you'd be in trouble! LOL!

na2day?:

i guess, those lips just looked like they did suck the life outta me

I've heard something like that before in real life, lol. Won't elaborate anymore-I will get in trouble on here, o!

ElRazur:

Lol. Me too I disagree jare. I am in London, and going to Peckham [Black area] you see all these body shop cream actually selling every day Toning cream. This cream appears to be made for every day use - for the whole body. From your Tura gel, IKB, Movate, Fashion fair etc are all marketed as "Toning cream"
You know that the elbows, knees are dark for a good reason - Biological reasons actually - and why people need to undo this is beyond me.


Allow me to play along on your God's view. If God make us in his image, I guess on that alone we do not need to make any improvements, especially those that kills of what is meant to protect and benefit us. No?


But why do you see the need to use a toning cream? Perhaps you have allowed the Western world of beauty's perception to get to you? In other words brainwashed into thinking you need to make adjustment to your skin appearance? Just a thought.

If I am your boyfriend, I would tell you that you are beautiful and you do not need any alteration to your skin.

Trust me, I know how the stuff is marketed-they want you to feel comfortable buying bleaching cream without everyone around you know that's what you're buying-kinda like "discreet" packaging. But please enlighten me on the biological reason my knees are black? I really wanna hear this one, lol.

And yes, God makes us in His image, but as imperfect beings-we all do things to mess up that image. I know my knees got blackened from always kneeling on them as a kid. I know I got the dark circles under my eyes from not getting enough sleep-why can't I try to improve what I myself know I messed up on my body? Do you think the Lord will say its a sin?

ElRazur:

This is precisely my problem with those who do either acts - They are more or less doing some sort of damage/manipulation to the skin. Bleaching and toning in my views are just same thing. One is more harsh and the other gentle.

We are rich in a melanin for a good reason, and it appears that people tend to miss this. I will not call a few spot on my skin as a blemish or imperfection. As far as I am concerned it is what makes me, me.

If you agree that Black is beautiful, why even think about making changes to it in such manners? [Not implying that you do]

I have to disagree with you here-bleaching is done over a large percentage of the body-perhaps to make the whole body the new skin color they're trying to achieve. Toning is done in spotty areas-like a dab here or there under the eyes, or on the knees, etc.

I love my skin and love the way God made me-that doesn't mean that I don't want to improve or change any imperfections. I wear make-up every once in a while-that doesn't mean I don't love my skin-just means I'm going for a different look.
I have once used toning cream on my knees before because I wanted to look cuter in above-the-knee dresses and skirts but I could never remember to use the stuff, lol.

Anyways, that doesn't mean that I will stop wearing above-the-knee skirts because my knees are black-I really don't care-some dude somewhere is still gonna think I'm sexy!

Anybody see the movie "Dance Flick"? With the interracial couple, every time the Black guy saw Black girls passing by, he would push the White girl aside and say "Black girls, Black girls-I don't know you!"

Me and my honi went to see that movie together so now whenever I see my Afr-Amer men passing by us, I started pushing him aside and saying "Akata men, Akata men-I don't know you!"

and he has done the same with Nigerian women passing us-"9ija women, 9ija women-I don't know you!"

LMAO!

trust me-there is a reason we do it! Sometimes, we just don't want to be bothered-especially if we have a boyfriend or significant other and don't want to have to go thru the whole "I got a man" routine to the hungry beasts that call themselves men. LOL

The difference between bleaching and toning: Bleaching is for those who are trying to make themselves look White.
Toning is for Black people who just want to correct imperfections or uneven skin tone.

And unfortunately, no-you can't literally scrub the Black off. I can wash from now til tomorrow and I will still have Black knees and elbows, underarms and dark circles under my eyes(from lack of sleep). Black folks tend to suffer from hyper-pigmentation in certain areas because of our blessing of melanin to protect us from the sun so I say if you want to correct those problem areas by toning-there is no problem there.

However, not loving yourself enough to know that Black is beautiful and that bleaching just makes you have an unhealthy, sick-looking skin-tone-then maybe we should start a thread on that one.

Busy_body:

@ Nickky23

Give Iyakadijat a break if dating Nigerian men is what floats her boat And trust me she ain't one of those Akata women who come to NL to run down Naija men with their mouth. Her dude treated her badly and she is just using this avenue as an outlet.

Even if you notice, she has opened this thread to seek advise for help on how to proceed in her next relationship, so help a fellow sister out please

Thanks for having my back, girl! lol

This was the perfect response to my question about dating mistakes, thank you! LOL!

OMG-this is funny! Maybe that's why I'm almost 30 with no husband as of yet, lol!

na2day?:

i tried and what i saw wasn't pretty

okay-to each his own, lol

Nikky23:

hostile ke? im only saying the fact. not being hostile here. i kno u hav a different cultural background but u talk like u r the only 1 dat has and is dating nigerian men even we nigerian girls dont talk as much as you do. ok which one is dating mistakes with nigerian men? dont u kno how u go on date with other men from different cultures or better still go on a date with a man?

The hostile part was saying I make you sick-can we be a little more mature here? And in case you haven't noticed, I happen to be 1 of only a handful of akata women that come on here-and honestly the only one that stuck around withstanding double criticism becuz I'm American-so it's not not like I have other American women to exchange notes with on here, lol.

And maybe I should have clarified myself-I wasn't just talking of "going out" on a date as much as I was talking about getting to know a man on a deeper level.

Busy_body:


Arrgh yes this explains it having a mind of your own means you are stubborn, lol, well tough luck to them i say

well see, there's a cultural difference right there-most Afr-Amer guys appreciate a good debate with their women and chalk it up to her being intelligent.

cold:

But it's really funny how we're appreciated by other nationalities more than our sistas,just goes to confirm that truly a prophet is neva recognised in his own home

Let's not go there-you know how many 9ija men I have come across that admitted they don't like their own women? I always thought that was a little weird. I'm not saying I don't love my strong Afr-Amer men, I just have a preference for 9ija brothas.

But I have had 9ija guys say they REFUSE to date a Naija woman for various reasons-but the weirdest reason is they didn't like "Americanized" 9ija women-which I didn't understand if they were dating me-and I'm as American as they come!

Busy_body:

And this does not stop with naija men only, instinct is instinct, common sense is common sense, I don't subscribe to the school of thought that a behaviour you should beware of, is typical or limited to just Naija men or Akata men alone.

Men will always be men, always embark into a relationship with them with one eye always open



One mistake I used to make: Not listening to my female instinct.

Mistake they thought I made: that I can be stubborn and their wrong perception that I don't listen.

I will agree with the female instinct thing. I refuse to be a fool again-I'm just having fun while it lasts for now. But I also don't want to trip up and do things that will make him mad with me-I actually like hanging around this dude.

And we all know that if you have a mind to not do everything they say, most Naija men will say you are stubborn and don't listen, lol.

na2day?:

those lips are scary

Yes, my lips can be very scary-they're downright dangerous sometimes. Use your imagination on this one, abeg.

$osisi:

I was wondering
when I read the list and saw that one I was like,Naija man agree that he is wrong
if it happens that easily,someone ought to check his pulse

LMAO! Or check his birth certificate because he must be lying about being a Nigerian man, lol

Nikky23:

this lady makes me sick. everytime nigerian man or american man,this and dat, r u d only one to date one? haba.  wat do u mean dating mistakes with nigerian men, r they not men again? abeg

ooooooooh-aren't you a little hostile? LOL! Need I remind you, I am from a different cultural background and trust me when I say-THERE ARE DIFFERENCES. The only constant between Nigerian men and Akata men are what they have between their legs.

If I agree with your point, will you agree that you, as an 9ija woman and I, as an African American woman, think alike?

$osisi:

@ poster I agree with everything on your list but one

Erm
that one sort of stretched it a little
The average Nigerian male has a proplem with that.
Most of them are always right.

I'm gonna have to agree with you here-most 9ija men will argue with you to finish until you agree that they're right or refuse to say anything at all to remedy any arguments-lol

Okay-I have made the promise that I would no longer put too much of my personal business on NL, so I will generalize as much as possible:

Please list, or tell me all the dating mistakes or gaffes that you can make when dating a 9ija man that can make him angry with you? If you're a man, let me know what would make you not want to date a woman (especially Akata) anymore? Please remember this is only referring to new relationships/dating only.

I'm only asking cuz I know there are some cultural differences that we as Americans don't think much of, but it's a big deal to you guys. Your input, please.

Desiré:

Oh. . . Funny how you'd confuse an l with an I.

I'm a lil on the slow side 2day-I think I've been working too much, lol

Desiré:

death! Quit being paranoid sis. He wasn't talking to you and no one is hating on you or coming after you.

rofl!!

Sorry, babe-his lyk looked a lot like my name for short on here Iyk-lol-my bad.

cold:

U'l kip comin bak lyk a bad habit,lol

can't nobody break my stide/can't nobody hold me down/oh no/ i got to keep on moving!

LOL!

What can I say? I'm a glutton for punishment, lol!

C2H-This is where you been hiding, huh? Missed u, man-wassup?

cold:

Just great,i'm finding it difficult to keep up with ur name change, lyk the Mods kip picking on u

LOL-I'm used to it by now. I went thru 8 years of not exactly being liked by 9ija women in real life, so a little more online int gon hurt,

Honestly, you would never KNOW if your man is cheating unless you walked in a room with him doing it with someone else-and even then he'd sound like Shaggy and say "It wasn't me!" LMAO

Most men's philosophy is deny, deny, deny-so it's up to you to use that keen women's intuition and decide if he's worth the trouble of snooping after and/or eventually ending the relationship because of it. Either that or you can take him to one of those talk shows and make him take one of those lie detector tests.

"You are NOT the father!"

LOL

I always loved the pronunciation of ur name-most American tongues don't say it correctly, but I learned how to say it right just because I loved the way it sounded. That or Anisa was going to be my daughter's name, but we changed our mind at the last minute.

thank you sweetheart. Why did you start another thread on this one?

~Sauron~:

Ohhhhhhh. . . . .I know Remi as a Yoruba name but the "Lekun" is kinda new.

But why would he name you that?
Are u a source of joy to him?

ya think? lol!

davidylan:

Remilekun is yoruba, i think it means dry my tears.

thank you-cuz I really forgot-lol. I think I was thinking of Remilayo about the joy thing.

Its a Yoruba name and I believe it has something to do with joy. I even forgot the full meaning and was embarrassed to ask him again-lol! But I know it means something about joy or happiness or something.

And I'm POSITIVE it's a 9ija name-I mean, I've only been around u guys for the past 8 years-you think I wouldn't know what a 9ija name sounds like by now? lol