Okay-I have made the promise that I would no longer put too much of my personal business on NL, so I will generalize as much as possible:

Please list, or tell me all the dating mistakes or gaffes that you can make when dating a 9ija man that can make him angry with you? If you're a man, let me know what would make you not want to date a woman (especially Akata) anymore? Please remember this is only referring to new relationships/dating only.

I'm only asking cuz I know there are some cultural differences that we as Americans don't think much of, but it's a big deal to you guys. Your input, please.

this lady makes me sick. everytime nigerian man or american man,this and dat, r u d only one to date one? haba. wat do u mean dating mistakes with nigerian men, r they not men again? abeg

Nikky23:

this lady makes me sick. everytime nigerian man or american man,this and dat, r u d only one to date one? haba.  wat do u mean dating mistakes with nigerian men, r they not men again? abeg

ooooooooh-aren't you a little hostile? LOL! Need I remind you, I am from a different cultural background and trust me when I say-THERE ARE DIFFERENCES. The only constant between Nigerian men and Akata men are what they have between their legs.

If I agree with your point, will you agree that you, as an 9ija woman and I, as an African American woman, think alike?

What cultural differences? Instinct is instinct, common sense is common sense, I don't subscribe to the school of thought that a behaviour you should beware of, is typical or limited to just Naija men or Akata men alone.

Men will always be men, always embark into a relationship with them with one eye always open



One mistake I used to make: Not listening to my female instinct.

Mistake they thought I made: that I can be stubborn and their wrong perception that I don't listen.

Busy_body:

And this does not stop with naija men only, instinct is instinct, common sense is common sense, I don't subscribe to the school of thought that a behaviour you should beware of, is typical or limited to just Naija men or Akata men alone.

Men will always be men, always embark into a relationship with them with one eye always open



One mistake I used to make: Not listening to my female instinct.

Mistake they thought I made: that I can be stubborn and their wrong perception that I don't listen.

I will agree with the female instinct thing. I refuse to be a fool again-I'm just having fun while it lasts for now. But I also don't want to trip up and do things that will make him mad with me-I actually like hanging around this dude.

And we all know that if you have a mind to not do everything they say, most Naija men will say you are stubborn and don't listen, lol.

IyaKadijat:

And we all know that if you have a mind to not do everything they say, most Naija men will say you are stubborn and don't listen, lol.

Arrgh yes this explains it having a mind of your own means you are stubborn, lol, well tough luck to them i say

Busy_body:


Arrgh yes this explains it having a mind of your own means you are stubborn, lol, well tough luck to them i say

well see, there's a cultural difference right there-most Afr-Amer guys appreciate a good debate with their women and chalk it up to her being intelligent.

IyaKadijat:

ooooooooh-aren't you a little hostile? LOL! Need I remind you, I am from a different cultural background and trust me when I say-THERE ARE DIFFERENCES. The only constant between Nigerian men and Akata men are what they have between their legs.

If I agree with your point, will you agree that you, as an 9ija woman and I, as an African American woman, think alike?

hostile ke? im only saying the fact. not being hostile here. i kno u hav a different cultural background but u talk like u r the only 1 dat has and is dating nigerian men even we nigerian girls dont talk as much as you do. ok which one is dating mistakes with nigerian men? dont u kno how u go on date with other men from different cultures or better still go on a date with a man?

IyaKadijat:

well see, there's a cultural difference right there-most Afr-Amer guys appreciate a good debate with their women and chalk it up to her being intelligent.

Naaaa, I didn't fall for your trap I just felt like having a sly dig at my Naija men, hence that was just a rant I wanted to get off my chest, lol

Seriously speaking though, when you are dating and courting someone is the time you have to kick them to the curb if you feel your man is coming across as stifling and controlling and trying to dumb you down. I personally cannot date such men you painted in the scenario above, they would not go past the first date, that is if that first date happens sef

Every nationality have their good and bad and I cannot touch majority of Nigerian men and Akata men with a loooooog bargepole cos of their mentality

Nikky23:

hostile ke? im only saying the fact. not being hostile here. i kno u hav a different cultural background but u talk like u r the only 1 dat has and is dating nigerian men even we nigerian girls dont talk as much as you do. ok which one is dating mistakes with nigerian men? dont u kno how u go on date with other men from different cultures or better still go on a date with a man?

The hostile part was saying I make you sick-can we be a little more mature here? And in case you haven't noticed, I happen to be 1 of only a handful of akata women that come on here-and honestly the only one that stuck around withstanding double criticism becuz I'm American-so it's not not like I have other American women to exchange notes with on here, lol.

And maybe I should have clarified myself-I wasn't just talking of "going out" on a date as much as I was talking about getting to know a man on a deeper level.

@ Nickky23

Give Iyakadijat a break if dating Nigerian men is what floats her boat And trust me she ain't one of those Akata women who come to NL to run down Naija men with their mouth. Her dude treated her badly and she is just using this avenue as an outlet.

Even if you notice, she has opened this thread to seek advise for help on how to proceed in her next relationship, so help a fellow sister out please

Busy_body:

@ Nickky23

Give Iyakadijat a break if dating Nigerian men is what floats her boat And trust me she ain't one of those Akata women who come to NL to run down Naija men with their mouth. Her dude treated her badly and she is just using this avenue as an outlet.

Even if you notice, she has opened this thread to seek advise for help on how to proceed in her next relationship, so help a fellow sister out please

Thanks for having my back, girl! lol

^^^ Anytime babe


In case you have time on your hand and you want to let your hair down, here is where the fun is currently at; https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-282577.0.html