₦airaland Forum

NEWLY RENOVATED BLOCK OF 6 FLATS

Location: 24 Kudaki street, Ikotun Lagos

Details
ASKING: N46,000,000

Price reduced
48m


House Type: 2 blocks of flat
Block 1 : 4 flats with 3 bedrooms (1 self contained Master bedroom)
Block 2: 2 flats with 2 bedrooms
- Corner Lot
- Borehole with pump and 2 overhead tanks
- Interlocking stone pavement
- Aluminum Roof
- 6 foot fence with security barbwire
- Self contained security house
- 2 gates access
- 7 pay as you go meters
- Ceramic tiles throughout
- Prewired generator house for all 6 tenants

Other details: the property is excellent for investment, with a single tenant currently occupying the entire building. It is located on a prime street for businesses like hotel, bank, hospital etc.

Available for sale is this very clean tokunbo 2009 Toyota Matrix .

Vehicle is equipped with a list of factory standard options including Auto transmission,Fabric Interior,power windows,Ice cold A/C, adjustable steering wheel,adjustable seats,In dash CD player and so much more..

Milage 59,000

Price 2.0m naira

Location Ikeja

Might consider swapping as well

Call kola On 08172052666

Mine is

www.iyandasdiary.com

Mine is www.iyandasdiary.com

Need someone who can operate and manage an Epson Stylus Pro 7800 printer used for printing on both canvas and flex.

Position suitable for a graphic artist who can operate the machine. Also looking for a busniess partner who can see to the use of the machine and operate it .

Can Siblings Love One Another Equally Even Though They Are Not Of The Same Mother?

Love has been defined in different ways by different people; but do you think love between siblings borne of different mother can be defined in similar way. When it comes to love between siblings of the same father, but different mothers, do you think it’s a different ball-game all together?

What is the possibility of siblings from different mothers loving one another equally? Perspective is an issue that always comes into play when defining love between siblings of different mother’s .Do you think siblings address things differently or treat one another differently if not of same mother? Could it be that some mothers do influence their children or does it just happen that sometimes that they treat each other differently?

In the African setting where polygamy is almost the order of the day, is there is a slight possibility that siblings of different mothers can truly love one another without acrimony? Can you love your half-brother or sister the same way you would love someone of the same mother as you? Do some mothers unknowingly or knowingly create the gap.

The question may sound or look daunting, but it is a reality some people are facing or might have to face at some point in life. So let me know what you think about it. It is also important to know if you can love your siblings equally regardless of who gave birth to each of you.

SOURCE ;www.iyandasdiary.com

Is It Possible To Be Completely Open With Your Partner?

Strong and enduring relationships in the views of a lot of people are built or founded on trust, openness, and ability to share certain secrets. However, is it really possible to be completely open to your spouse/partner? Is there a limit to what you can share with your partner?

Is there a limit to certain secrets you can open up to your partner? A lot of people see things differently, and of course, have reasons for believing or sticking to what they believe in; but what justifies certain decisions to reveal some while hiding some details from our partners?
We live in a world of reality, and when treating an issue or topic as controversial as this, certain factors come into play. Emotions always run high, and the debate is always intense.

What an individual thinks or believes in might be different from what someone else thinks. All the same what your views are can be influenced by several factors, which could have a lot to do with your past in some cases.

Whatever your views are, it is significant to share it with us, and let’s discuss the possibility of opening up with your partner or the other way round

If The Father Is A Muslim And The Mother A Christian, What Religion Should The Child Embrace?

For reasons different from what a lot of us think we have in our minds, we find out that we get married to people whose thoughts, religion, and lifestyle differ from ours sometimes. A situation where the father is a Muslim and the mother a Christian; what religion should the child embrace? Actually there are families where both parents are indifferent about what religion their children/child chose, but this doesn’t happen all the time. Do you think the child in some or most cases could easily get confused?
Religion is the opium of the people as they always say; with both parents being sympathetic towards their religious practice, what position should the child take? Can he afford to be neutral and become anonymous; not bothering if this has consequences or not? If you found yourself in that situation, what would you do? Would you glady accept if your child chooses to be Christian as his mum even though you are a Muslim?
As a parent, can you afford to be neutral and not encourage your child to take after your religion?
Whats your take on this issue?

SOURCE ;www.iyandasdiary.com

Why Do Some Women Continuously Put Down Their Men?

I am not saying this happens with all women, but the truth is there are some women out there who have developed a knack for putting down their men.

I was aware that some women appeared to instinctively desire to tear men down. This was primarily due to the frequent belittling I saw wives and girlfriends meting out to their husbands and boyfriends at times.

It is still disturbing to hear the way in which some women who had barely lifted a finger in years to support themselves regularly attempted to put down the very men who paid their bills . It didn't matter if the man’s accomplishment was in business, employment or any means. it was quite normal for the woman in his life to belittle it at every opportunity telling him he is noting or not doing enough.

Well, you can say it goes both ways .Its true Men and women each criticize one another but from what I have heard it’s more common in women.

Do you think Some women criticize to hurt their men because they feel hurt and underappreciated ?.Or are they actually trying to help their man? Also, do some women who also mean well and support their husband still guilty at times of putting them down in the process?

Do men feel they are trying to help but maybe the way they usually come across may not sound very helpful? Does it have anything to do with the man’s societal status as well?

I have heard guys talk about how they are harassed or continuously put down by their wives. Is it true they accuse them of not doing enough or not doing as much as they should be doing? Some go to the extent of comparing their husband with their friend’s husband.

I heard its worst sometimes if the woman earns more than her man. But does it give her the right to still talk to him anyhow?

Perhaps, it is not always about money or career; but the truth is that a lot of these is happening in the society these days. A lot of men find it difficult to express their views publicly because they feel they have an iron woman who is always ready to mouth them off.

Feminists would tell you that the world has changed, and things are no longer the way they used to be. They all want you to know that submission is different from what it used to be, and a woman should be free to express herself anyhow she wants too? So what do you make of this?

Do they do it knowingly or is it out of frustration that they wish things and finances could be better ?

SOURCE : www.iyandasdiary.com

Will You Marry Your Spouse Even If Your Pastor Disapproves Of It?

Marriage has shaped and reshaped the life pattern of millions of people all over the world. Some have come out of marriages, wishing they never went into it in the first place, while some have continued to endure strong physical and emotional pains while hoping that things will improve. That is why a lot of singles go to their pastors to seek ‘spiritual’ tips or advice before going to marriage. This shows how much respect a lot of people have for pastors and men of God; and which brings me to this big question.

Will you marry your spouse even if your pastor disapproves of it? Most people do, and even more don’t; but what is your take on this? Marriage goes much deeper than a lot of us already know, and sometimes it is not half as easy as telling the other person off. Calling off a long-time relationship is not always an easy thing anyway.

But do you honestly think your pastor knows your spouse well enough to be able to determine maybe he or she is the right one?Do you also think he would be a good judge of character even though he doesnt know much about your spouse?

Supposing your pastor tells you to severe your ties with your would-be bride/groom for one reason or the other, would you heed his call or advice? Let’s know what you feel and what your reactions would be.

Would You Love An Adopted Child Same Way As Your Biological Child?

Chiefly among reasons why most people adopt children is when they have given up any hope of having theirs.

However, what happens when after adopting one you discover that you are blessed with a child of yours later on?

Is it truly possible to love an adopted child same way as yours?

Let me make the scenario clearer and easier to understand. Can you leave your wealth and possession to a child you adopted from a motherless home?
Would it be right to treat an adopted child with levity to the detriment of your own biological child?

Do you think your own biological child will understand later in life if he found out that his sibling was adopted? Do you honestly belief they will be treated equally always or maybe partial in bringing them up?

We watch it on television most of the time, and we hear of women maltreating adopted children simply because they feel threatened. They suddenly become anxious due to the fact that their husbands could leave majority of his will to such a child.

Now that you understand the scenario better, would you truly love an adopted child the same way as your biological child?

Share your thoughts on this issue please and remember that your thoughts, opinions, and answers can go a very long way to help the situation of people out there.

What Is Your View On ‘Arranged’ Marriages?

An arranged marriage for those who may not have heard of it before simply means bringing two people who have never dated each other before together for the purpose of getting married.

Such people do not always have the opportunity to know each other, but eventually get married relying on mostly the information provided by people who brought them together. Most times you hear of parents arranging marriages for their children because they feel they know better and believe in the family they want the child to marry into. Is it right for someone to marry another just based on what you hear about the other party?

What is your personal opinion on this? Do ‘arranged’ or ‘arrangee’ marriages as most people on the street call it ideal in the society today?

Can such marriages stand the test of time as well as the trials that affect marriages? What if they don’t succeed, who takes the blame? Is it the people responsible for bringing both parties together or those who mutually consent to such arrangements?

Do such arrangements render the concept of courtship not so important than the arranged marriage?

If you found yourself in a situation where a parents are trying to pressure you into marrying a particular person, would you give in to their pressure or simply say no?

Would you be able to love that person the same way you would have loved someone you dated and courted on your own?

Dear readers, I pray you won’t find yourself in a situation where a woman would turn you against your friends and family members because that explains my present situation. Now I truly understand why a lot of people say love is blind. For me, it was blind, but now I can see clearly. The storm has settled, and my vision has never been this clear. The only problem is that I never got to know this in time to save me from all the headaches and heartaches has Titi caused me.

Titi was not my first love, and only God could actually reveal the reason why I did all I did without considering the implication. How could I have been so blind that I refused to heed the warnings of my friends and family members? I mean I did everything for that woman without holding back.

When I first met Titi, it was as if I had seen an angel; she was looking so radiant, and my desire was to make her my woman for life. Though, it took me a long time to finally get her approval; yet the wait was worth it. I thought that was my bus stop; finally a woman to call my own. I thought I had found a woman to help me build my home and family; but I was stupidly wrong in the end.

I shared all my secrets with Titi, and did not keep anything away from her. There was nothing she didn’t know about me including my salary. Despite the fact that she was working and earning a reasonable salary, I was still responsible for buying her everything including toothpaste, underwear, sanitary pads, and virtually everything you could think of.

Anyone who dared to ask me to take things easy or deal wisely with Titi became an enemy. It even got to a point when I saw my mom as someone who didn’t want me to get married all because she voiced out her opinions about a woman she felt was not godly enough. The thing is I wasn’t just giving to Titi because I wanted to; I gave her because she was always asking. I didn’t see anything wrong in buying her virtually everything she needed despite the fact that she was also working.

On the other hand, I wasn’t looking as attractive as men who were working and earning reasonable salaries. I was earning fat salary, but living the life of a pauper because all my earnings were going into taking care of my girlfriend. Titi and I dated for about 5 years, and I can only recall getting only one or two Christmas or birthday gift from her.

Gradually, I started losing my good friends. My friends were buying lands and building houses, and some were buying cars and establishing businesses; but on my part, nothing tangible was happening. Meanwhile, Titi had moved in with me, and we were living as couples even without being married. I was a little bit concerned that my friends and family members were no longer coming to visit me; but I didn’t see anything wrong with it until I lost my job.

I lost my job not because I was involved in any criminal activity or fraud; my company asked us to go because they were no longer making profits. After collecting my pay-off from the company I worked for, I got home and explained everything to my girlfriend. She was sad, and even encouraged me by saying that God will definitely open another door for me. Meanwhile, she never saw anything wrong in me buying all her personals because she never stopped or suggested that I stopped buying them just to save some money until another job would come. I didn’t complain since I knew I was going to get another sooner or later.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months; yet no job came my way. I was getting frustrated because I could no longer keep up with my responsibilities. To make matters worse, Titi was not giving me all the support I needed. We had arguments on so many occasions, and she called me names; labelling me a lazy man who only sits at home to idle away while she goes out to work.

My bills were piling up, and my rent was then two months away from expiring. My caretaker sent me a reminder via an official letter, which I also showed to Titi. She didn’t say a single word the very first time I told her; only for her to wake me up later that night to ask what my plans are especially concerning the rent and other bills. I thought she wanted to help me out so we could clear the rent, pay some bills, and at least stock the kitchen with foodstuffs; but I was wrong. After the chat we had that night, she said she would see what she could do when she got back from work the next day.

Dear readers, it’s been 3 months, and 1 week since Titi made that promise; and that is not the problem. The problem is that it’s been 3 months and exactly 1 week since I last saw Titi. I got a text from her the very day she left my house, and the text or sms reads: “I don’t think I can continue to live a life that offers me no hope of a better tomorrow; after all, your friends and family never wanted me in the first place.” She also sent another one that reads: “I have decided to move on with my life, and I advice you also do the same.”

Today, I am still trying to mend fences, and reach out to people I hurt during the course of my relationship with Titi.

SOURCE:www.iyandasdiary.com

My mum is a hypocrite, and I am saying that without regret! How can someone who fought tooth and nail to marry my dad who is a Yoruba man be secretly forbidding me from marrying the man of my dream because he is also Yoruba?

My mum is an Ibo woman who faced a lot of opposition from her family members before she was eventually allowed to marry my dad who is from the South-West. I used to envy her guts and ability to fight for what’s right; but how can one explain her deep hatred for Moyin?
Moyin and I met at my mum’s 50th birthday a couple of years back, and we have never stopped to look back since then. Mum never liked Moyin from the first time I introduced him to her; and her reason is based on him not being born an Ibo guy. I wasn’t expecting that from her because I thought she was not cut out for tribal stuffs; but of course, I was wrong. Now she is threatening to do everything within her power to bring an end to my relationship with the love of my life; how pathetic!

Mum is hypocritical about the whole thing that she keeps drawing my dad’s attention to the problem Moyin had a year ago instead of coming out clean on what the real problem is. Moyin was wrongly relieved of his appointment while working at the branch of a particular bank. The issue was investigated, and he was only dismissed because of negligence and not even because of fraud. To my dad, that is not a problem; but my mum keeps harping on other issues and nagging my dad all day all night about my Moyin not being good enough for me.

The problem with my dad is that he doesn’t want to believe that my mum doesn’t like Moyin because he is not an Ibo man. My dad seems to think such things are not possible with her because she once fought against that same problem some years back.

I know I am the only female child of the family, but it doesn’t give my mum the right to choose a man for me based on tribe or even religion. At my age, I have earned the right to choose the right person to settle down with, and no one can deny me that. She is just acting out a script written long time ago. When I was much younger, she used to drum and sing it into my ears that she wants me to marry a man from the east. Her excuse or reason was that it is almost impossible to find someone from the west who as similar attitude as my dad. My mum loves and adores my dad so much that she doesn’t believe any other man from the west can be as nice and caring as him.

What do I do, and how do I go about making my dad believe that my mum is playing the ethnic or tribal card? My dad knows that my mum doesn’t like Moyin; but he always believes that things will eventually smoothen out. However, things are not going to get any better because only last week my mum went to Moyin’s house to warn him off her daughter or he should be prepared to face the consequences.
Now Moyin is beginning to show signs of someone who is getting tired and frustrated with the entire situation. I am afraid that he might want to call it quit sooner or later as I am not the only girl in town.

Please help me because I know there are some people out there who have been in similar situation before. I just need help on how to get out of this quagmire before my mum’s selfish and hypocritical attitude drives the only man I love out of my life.

SOURCE:www.iyandasdiary.com

Education VS Wealth.Why Pursue An Education?

As days succeed days, I realize that things are turning around in this world. There are some logical things that have suddenly turned around and the odds are happening.
Back in my young days, I was made to realize that education is a sure way to success. Educated people are viewed as most successful especially when they work in corporate sects. When you are educated in those days, you were admired by the whole community and assumed to be very rich. If again you could speak impeccable English, you have won their hearts and have become a role model for the young ones coming behind you. Education was the best in those days.
But, nowadays, things are totally different. People who are educated struggle to survive under those who are not. I’m not saying that all educated people work under illiterates. But, the number of literates in Nigeria is so much that there are no places to fix them in.
Meanwhile, there are some who did not thread on the part of education. Instead, they engage themselves in businesses at a very early stage. They struggle hard to gather wealth while their mates are in school. At the end of the day, they make it big time.Those who were busy in school then will finish and take their CVs to them seeking employment, taking on roles that they are over qualified for just in the name of surviving. Isn’t it awkward?
If you look around the political sector as well, not many of them are well learned. Examine it from the local government level. Most of these people are primary and secondary school leavers. Yet, they decide the fate of those who have stressed much to make themselves learned.
No wonder most youths of nowadays take education with levity. They refuse to read or attend classes because they believe they won’t work with their certificates or get paid peanuts thats if the job is available in the first place.
Students are devoting most of their time to extra activities that can raise them money other than getting serious with their academic works.
What is becoming of this nation? The hope of success for learned youths are depreciating. Some students who graduated with upper credit in the university have turned to frauds in despair. They engage in various acts of frauds which they call “yahoo- yahoo” or “yahoo plus”. They dupe innocent people to survive. Several people have committed suicide after being duped by these set of people yet, they feel no guilt. Recently, they have been unable to dupe as much as they want because people are getting wiser. Instead of them to stop these fraudulence act, they eventually improvised by doing it spiritually.Even kidnapping is like a way out for some graduates as well.They make innocent people surrender their money by force. The government is doing nothing about it.
Whenever I think about all these pitiful things befalling this nation, I usually feel very sad. How can a government reign for years without putting graduates employment in place? What are they governing if not themselves? These issues have not for once stopped to bother me. Will Nigeria ever be developed and stable in this our generation?
That people prefer to earn money through other dubious means than education is absurd to me. Education is supposed to be the best legacy and not an avenue to speak English. Once you can speak good English in Nigeria, you are learned.It is the highest misconception I can ever understand.

It would be nice to hear your opinion and suggestions on what can be done to get back on the right track.

SOURCE www.iyandasdiary.com

Love Shouldn’t Cause Heartaches, But Mine Does

Dear readers, why are we always attracted to love and relationship that costs us so much pain? I know they say love is blind; but I thought one shouldn’t lose his senses when ‘dying’ for someone? Like Fela’s popular song says-‘if you dey follow follow, make you open eye.’ My eyes are wide open, but I can’t seem to see what I am doing clearly or is it really love?

My name is Omotara Adegoke, the only daughter of my parents. I grew up in the Bodija area of Ibadan with my parents who made sure I never lacked anything an only child could ever ask for. My parents did not only spoil me with all the good things of life including sending me to one of the best private institutions in the south west of Nigeria; they also gave me so much liberty to mix with people from different societal backgrounds. It was while I was in the university that I actually met Ladi the supposed love of my life. Ladi and I didn’t attend the same university; but fate brought us together at a birthday party we both attended few years ago.

My love for Ladi knows no bound even though we both hailed from different societal backgrounds. What wouldn’t I do to make him happy? I dotted him with love and gifts, and provide virtually everything he needs even before he makes any request. If sex was food; Ladi always gets the best from me because I am also good at it.

My reason for putting this into writing is so you guys out there can tell me if I am losing my sanity. The problem I have with Ladi is the way he treats me. Ladi treats me like a lady who lacks class. He rarely reciprocates my love and kind gestures. He treats me as if my parents or someone forced me on him.

We have been dating for 4 years now, and I can’t remember the last time he sent me a surprise birthday present without my reminding him first. Yet he says he loves me; but the truth is I have been waiting for 4 years just for him to clear the doubts on my mind. He knows virtually every member of my family, while I hardly know any of his.

I started questioning my mental state when I got seriously beaten by Ladi during our last outing. It happened when he went through my bbm chat, and discovered that I was actually chatting with an old school mate of mine. He felt I have been cheating on him, and descended on me instead of giving me the benefit of the doubt. After putting me through so much shame and humiliation that evening; Ladi walked out on me and left me all alone in front of a very popular hotel along Ring Road Ibadan.

With tears rolling down my cheek, I managed to drive myself back home, and walked straight to my room; ignoring my parents who noticed my mood. My mum came into my room almost immediately, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk. Of course, she wanted to know if all was well; but how could I tell my mum that I got manhandled by the man they know I love so much.

It has been 3 months since that incident occurred between Ladi and I, and you won’t believe he has even gone ahead to humiliate me on 2 other occasions. I can’t even share this with my parents since it may have far-reaching consequences on the part of Ladi. My dad and mom had never for once raised their hands on me; at least not since I became matured to know my left from my right. Now the man I am madly in love with has done it not once not twice, but 3 times in 3 months; and yet the idea of calling it quit seems far from my thoughts.

This love is already costing me so much pain emotionally, financially, and physically; yet I can’t seem to imagine life without Ladi. Do I really love him? Please I need your advice because I seem to be losing my sanity.


SOURCE :www.iyandasdiary.com

A Stab On The Back-Does True Love Still Exist?

Dear readers, I advice you to take to your heels when next that sweet talking handsome young man says he loves you; because that word (love) doesn’t exist anymore! You heard me perfectly right; the word ‘love’ doesn’t exists for me at least. I will tell you my story; but since it’s a free world, you are free to go on loving that man.
I don’t want to sound funny; but what makes you think the ring around your finger is a guarantee that you are the lucky one? What makes you think because he has given you a ring then he is as good as yours? At least, I didn’t know a ring was just a fancy little jewellery until I met Tade. Tade has changed or redefined what a wedding ring represents for millions of women who believe in holy matrimony.
The beast I call a husband doesn’t in anyway deserve to be happy because he has succeeded in turning me into a woman who may never love and trust any man again. He did not only cheat on me with loads of women out there; he also got my best friend pregnant.
Tade and I courted only a couple of months before we eventually got married in 2011. Our wedding was so successful that it became the talk of the town during that period. However, successful weddings don’t always lead to happy marriages or homes; and ours is an example of that.
Our marriage didn’t get off to a great start because I caught my husband making love to a lady I thought was his secretary the day after our honeymoon right there in the office! Did you find it hard to believe? Are you wondering how I found out? Call me Ruth or whatever, but I got so bored sitting back at home a day after our honeymoon and decided to pay my hubby a surprise visit in his office only to catch him on a woman.
My hubby’s office is designed in such a way that you can walk in even without anyone knowing since the floor is covered with a rug. I didn’t find anyone at the secretary’s desk as soon as I got to his department, which gave me unrestricted access. Since it wasn’t a residential apartment, there wasn’t any need for me to scream or ask if anyone was in the office. Whatever may have given my husband the courage or confidence to convert his office into a chalet where he could have a quick one with his secretary is still not clear to me as I am writing this; but the truth of the matter is I caught him on his secretary. It could even have been anyone walking into the office beside me; and that shows how stupid some men can be.
I still don’t know how we managed to settle that issue; but I know things didn’t go smoothly between the two of us for months. Before we got married, I thought the only thing I had to deal with was Tade’s smoking habits; and he sure proved me wrong as I later discovered that he has a large appetite for sleeping with my friends.
I am the type of woman who loves giving my man the benefit of the doubt. I don’t just judge or confront my man because someone gives me a hint; but that was a mistake on my part. I wonder how I never got to find out that Tade had already slept with four out of my six friends who graduated from the same university as me; and even got Elizabeth my childhood friend pregnant. Some ladies are so cheap that they never have problems opening their legs as soon as the opportunity comes their way. Everyone warned me about how they see my hubby and some of my friends in his car at odd places and during odd hours; but I never listened to them. Now Elizabeth is not only pregnant for my husband; I also discovered when I went to pack my things from Tade’s house that she has also moved in.
I don’t want to go into details; but I just want you to know that Tade has even moved on from my friend Elizabeth unto other women. He seems to have this passion for chasing anything in skirt.
Whatever happened to those promises of love before we both got married? It is so strange because Tade and I were virtually inseparable during courtship. How and why he suddenly changed is what I still don’t know and can’t explain. Where did it all go wrong? Our adventure into marriage only lasted two years; and now he has left a scar in my heart. Can I ever love again? He was not the only one who stabbed me on the back; my friends too. Can I ever forgive anyone of them?

SOURCE : www.iyandasdiary.com

I Never Thought Her Departure Could Leave A Big Void In My Life

There are some people whose impact in your life may never be felt until they have left. That exactly explains the story of Lydia, the woman whose love I took for granted. Lydia, your departure is causing me a lot of heartaches, and that is why I am pleading with you to come back home. The kids want you back; the neighbours also want you back. Everyone including our bedroom misses you so much.

There are only very few women left in this world with brain, charm and beauty; and this is not an exaggeration. I know exactly what I am talking about because I once married, lived, and spent quality moments with one of the very few.

Lydia and I got married close to seventeen years ago in Jos. God’s faithfulness towards our union was manifested in virtually every area of our lives. He gave us two sons and a daughter, and all our children are not doing badly in their various schools. However, I was not too buoyant; at least not up to the standard of my wife who is from a very comfortable family. Lydia came from a family where Christmas was always celebrated in the UK almost every other year.

Don’t get me wrong, I am also comfortable, but just that Lydia’s father is a very wealthy business man.
Lydia and I courted for only four months after which we thought there was no need to keep wasting time. We got married and like I said God, blessed our union with three lovely kids. The first few years of our marriage was paradise, we won several awards in the church as ‘wonderful’ couples. We went to places together, ate, together, and did wonderful things that a lot of couples no longer do few years after marriage.

As our family started expanding, our financial needs also started expanding. Our salaries could not sustain us that much because we probably didn’t plan for some of these things. Lydia in particular was not used to being stretched to the limit financially. Demands on the salary we thought was mega were obviously too heavy considering the fact that we had to pay our house help, pay the kids’ school fees, and pay the house rent amongst several others.

Maybe it was insecurity or whatever it was then; I started noticing some changes in my woman. She would nag and nag, and ask me to do something about what we were passing through. She asked me to get another job or take a loan from the bank so we could start a business of our own. She wanted something done so our financial situation could improve. However, I wanted us to do things differently from what she had in mind. I wanted us to cut down on our expenses. I suggested that the kids’ schools be changed. I suggested to her that we send away our house maid. I just wanted us to cut down on our expenses.

We couldn’t reach a compromise, and all we did was fight over these issues everyday. She went to her parents on so many occasions to complain; and this was contrary to what we both agreed to before we got married. Lydia and I had agreed that we would leave our families out of issues like the ones we were going through. So I was not happy when the mother sent for me one evening. She offered to talk to her husband so they could help us out. I just want to point it out that we were not in financial CRISIS; it was just a passing phase, but my wife was not prepared to see the cloud even for a moment.

During those periods we were no longer having sex, we were no longer eating together in the dining, and we were no longer doing those things we used to do together. So the intimacy was no longer as strong as it used to be; we were like strangers. My woman was becoming too overbearing, and I was not going to have any of that!

Crisis Point
One Sunday afternoon after we came back from church, we received an unusual guest in our home; my father in-law came to visit us. It was an unusual visit because he only comes to our house anytime we had an event like child naming or during my wife’s birthday party. After exchange of pleasantries and greetings, we went somewhere outside to talk privately.

He counselled my wife and I on how to live happily as couples, and advised us not to involve the kids in our problems. He made me an offer, which to be honest was highly tempting; but I asked him to give me time to think over it.
He asked me to come and work with him for sometime so I could learn a few things about business. He promised to pay almost double what I was earning as income in my present place of work.

After he left, I sat my wife down and asked her what she thought of his dad’s offer. I knew what her answer would be because she wanted the good life. Of course, she said it was a great idea, and that I should hand in my resignation letter the next day. I asked her to give me time to think seriously about the offer and the resignation thing; and that was when the second part of our crisis started.

She kept pressuring me instead of helping me to consider all angles to the matter. She threatened to pack her things out of the house if I didn’t tender a resignation letter before the end of that week; and that was when I got really mad at her. I didn’t know what came over me or what I was thinking when I uttered some words that changed her mood. I said she was good riddance to bad rubbish! I said her presence in my life was nothing but trouble. I used a lot of unprintable and despicable words; but I was shocked because my wife didn’t say anything in return.

She was speechless for an hour or more. She didn’t also deny the family some of the things she ought to do that day. Later in the evening, I called her and apologised to her for the things I said. She said she was okay, and that she had forgiven me; but something within me knew that she was up to something because she was unusually too cold for my liking.

The next day when I got back from work, I discovered that my wife had packed her things just when I was away at work, and the kids were in school. She didn’t leave behind any note. Not even her colleagues at work knew about her plans because I was told she didn’t come to work that day.

It’s been four weeks now since I last saw my Lydia. Her phone numbers are no longer active and her parents say they don’t know her whereabouts; but I find it hard to believe because they ask if they could have the kids so they can be well looked after. The kids are worried, and my neighbours are suspicious.

Please come back home Lydia! I know we can sort out things! As a matter of fact, I am ready to hand in my resignation letter and accept your dad’s offer.


SOURCE :www.iyandasdiary.com

I Married For Money-Now I Am Filled With Regrets!

I was brought up not enjoying some of those things people of my age enjoyed. I used a pair of shoes for years, patched my school skirts on different places, and shared a bottle of coke with my sister. My dad did his best in his own little way, but we wished things were different from what they were. My parents did love each other no doubt; but they had their terrible moments. Who says money is not relevant in terms of building a happy home? My dad gave my mum all the affections and love a woman could ever ask for; but not so when it came to providing the best things money could buy.

Who says you can’t have it all; money, love, and happiness? That was exact question my mum asked me the very day I completed my secondary education in Aba. She advised me not to marry based on love alone because she no longer considered that to be enough in marriage. She advised me to be careful when choosing a man to settle down with as my happiness in the future depended heavily on taking the right decisions. I didn’t ignore her words that morning, and moved swiftly to ask God to bring me the man that would provide all I needed to be happy my way.

From then on, every man that came my way was viewed from material perspective alone. It had to be money or what you can provide before love. Love didn’t matter much because it won’t guarantee or put food on my table when I wake up in the morning or before I go to bed every night. Love did sustain my parents for over twenty years; but not without fighting over money for food, clothes, and other domestic necessities.

My wish or prayer for a rich husband did come to pass as my parents eventually gave my hand in marriage to Okechukwu a few years after my mum asked me that question. Though, my dad was a bit sceptical about the man I wanted to get married to at first; my mum was able to convince him. Okechukwu and I got married and immediately relocated to Port Harcourt where he continued his business (he sells auto spare parts).

Okechukwu was unable to complete his secondary education before dropping out of school; but this was not a problem for me at first. I just wanted a man who could provide for my basic needs, and extend a hand of benevolence to my parents as well; and I found one in him. Well, I also didn’t conclude my education because I didn’t go back for my HND program due to lack of money. My parents were able to extract a promise from my husband that he would help me complete my education as soon as we settled down.

He did fulfil his promise though, as he successfully secured a place for me to start my HND program. However, securing me a place in the polytechnic didn’t come on a platter as my husband insisted that I had to go to school everyday with his sister hanging around the school premises to watch and track my movements. He did this because of some of the stories flying around about how undergraduate live their lives while on campus.

It got to a stage when I couldn’t take it anymore and had to complain. He said I either do it his own way or forget about going to school again. Finally I bowed to his wish and continued to going to school with an escort; but that was only the beginning of things to come.
The problem with my husband is that he is way too jealous and is always on my case because he feels that my decision to return to school is a threat to him as a man. Things are beginning to get out of hand because even with all the beautiful furniture, nice and quiet apartment, and cosy environment; there is nothing to be happy about. I can’t go out on my own I can’t make or receive calls without my husband getting jealous, and I can’t even spend a few minutes longer than necessary without having to face a panel at home. I am 4 months pregnant as I write this; and yet my husband treats me like a nobody just because he can’t seem to tame his jealousy.

My fear is, if Okechukwu is doing all these now that I am still in my first semester of HND1; what happens when I graduate and want to go for my youth service? My husband calls my family all sought of names because he feels he spent above his expectations during our traditional marriage. I am just fed up, and I feel like running away from this slavery that is called marriage.

Dear readers, please what should I do? I know I had a have a hand in what is happening to me; but is there nothing I can do to bring peace, love, and happiness to my home? Please I need your advice.


SOURCE ;www.iyandasdiary.com

Madness-He Has More Respect For My Marriage Than I Do!

Dear readers, there are sometimes you find yourself in situations that are so embarrassing that you wished things were different. I did have so much love and respect for my husband until Gabriel walked into my life. Gabriel is that sought of guy you wished you had met months or weeks before you ventured into marriage; but I guess fate has a way of leading us to places we never planned or had in mind. Anyway, mistakes have been made, and all I need right now is your advice; I need everyone out there to advice me on what I need to do to make my home what it should be like exactly.
My name is Funmi, I am married; but not happily married, which is one problem a lot of people face these days. Did anyone force me to marry Dare? No, and that is what made me look stupid after I discovered that the man I was trying to commit adultery with respects my marriage more than I do. Can you imagine being brought to earth by someone you thought would lick your feet, and do anything to have a fling with you? I hope that a lot of married women out there would stop running after other men when what they actually should be doing is keeping their homes happy.
I met Gabriel one Monday morning when I took Junior, my first son to resume JSS1 in a federal government college. He was the one who attended to me since he worked closely with the person in charge of registering students who got newly admitted. He was nice to me, and actually helped my son in settling down. I asked for Gabriel’s phone number since that would help me stay close to my son since I was going to leave him behind in boarding school. The truth is I actually collected his phone number because of Junior since that was all that matters to me and not Gabriel; at least at that time.
My intentions were quite clear from start; I only wanted to keep in touch with my son. The problem with most of us that are women is that we get too easily carried away when a man is damn too nice to us. I discovered that I got unnecessarily addicted to going to my sons school even on flimsy excuses. Gabriel was an excuse to stay away more often than not from a home whose breadwinner was not always at home, and who doesn’t even know how to be romantic. Don’t get me wrong because Dare provided almost everything the family needs including money, food, and other needs besides being romantic. I got tired of complaining about my husband’s attitude, and started living my life the way I wanted; but I never contemplated cheating on him until a few weeks after I met Gabriel.
My intentions about what I wanted with Gabriel were clear, and so were his intentions clear that he didn’t want me; but I was too stupid to understand. He made it absolutely clear that he didn’t want to sleep with me because he is a married man, and that he is a Christian who has a lot of respect for marriage. I did all I thought I could do to tempt him; but I never knew there were men with so much discipline. Though, I felt seriously embarrassed having been rejected by a man; I never thought a man who worked as a teacher could turn down a woman who was prepared to spoil him with money and maybe connection. The truth is Gabriel did turn me down, and asked me not to call his number again; not even to ask after my little child.
Now I feel seriously ashamed of my actions; I feel like I let my son down because I made futile attempts to tempt his teacher to bed.
Now I want my husband to understand that marriage is not all about providing money and food at home. I want him to know that there is need to keep the fire that started burning during courtship to continue. The problem is that I don’t even know how to go about achieving that. How do I make my marriage work again?

SOURCE : www.iyandasdiary.com

The Bullies In Khaki Uniforms

One thing that always baffles me is how we got ourselves to a situation where we get bullied by men who supposedly should be protecting and defending innocent citizens of this great nation. Every time I come across a civilian being bullied and beaten to coma by some men in uniform, I just feel sad. The entire situation baffles me and I know I am not the only person that feels this way. However, it would be strange if you felt otherwise because I think it is absolutely out of order.

When I write things that bother on the heart; I believe I speak the minds of millions of people who have had to cope with pressure and bullying. Nigeria belongs to every one of us for crying out loud; and no one has the right to lord it over anyone.

The reason we are where we are cannot be far from the many years we were ruled and overwhelmed by men in uniform. How can you describe a situation where a family man gets beaten by a man whose uniform and salary he also contributed towards as normal? A lot is wrong with this country because people who should protect against attacks from the enemy are exact ones exposing us to attacks.

Men who should protect and execute the law are exact ones conniving with enemies of this nation to ridicule the law. I feel sick watching those big and small commercial busses confidently driving against the traffic on our major highways just because they have the backing of some guys in uniform. It hurts badly seeing the military being called to mediate or bully civilians just because we have got connection. Is it not a shame that some of us could just pick up our mobile phones and call our friends in uniform to help us bully some of our neighbours?

You hit someone’s car while on your way home from work or somewhere, and the next minute he picks up his mobile phone and calls his friend in the military; what kind of a country is that? I am not writing this piece to lampoon anyone or make mockery of the system; but I am dong this to arouse our consciousness.

The relationship that exists between the men in khaki and civilians is something to worry about because it is not just normal. Perhaps, an orientation is urgently needed to put things in the right or proper perspective. A situation where the civilian always bypasses the constitutional and legal way of resolving issues with his neighbour to take laws into his hands is like a time bomb waiting to explode.

The thing is people don’t seem to understand that there are far-reaching consequences especially for the image of our dear country when images and videos of men in uniform beating civilians are televised on international media.

Is it not an irony that some orderlies attached to some military and even civilian leaders are used on assignments different from what they were assigned to? We have heard stories; and I mean true stories of how orderlies have manhandled civilians who dare go near or disrespect their bosses.

Yes the military is already doing something about this; but things must be done quickly because the sight of men in uniform sitting in front seat of some commercial busses driving against the traffic is awful.

Of course, no one is above the law, and that is how things should be; but people laugh it off whenever you say things like that. The sooner we stopped this thing, the better for every one of us. Imagine a little child watching his father being severely tortured by some men in uniform? How would that child feel? Would he not weep endlessly? It is the abyss we have led ourselves into; and something has to be done to change the situation.

We all should learn to settle minor issues without inviting the presence of some military guys. Let’s learn to leave issues that are beyond us to the police instead of calling some military friends of ours; Lol, well maybe the police one is even worse .it is the best we can do to leave in peace with one another.

SOURCE: www.iyandasdiary.com

Not All Beautiful Speeches Are Ever Backed With Actions

Great men they say are always defined by how they treat lesser men or their followers; but this is not the picture that describes leaders of our great nation. How many times have we been promised that our airspace will no longer be death traps? We have been led that route a million times before; yet time after time the big birds (aeroplanes) keep falling off the sky.

There never seems to be an end to numerous ‘sweet’ presidential speeches directing flags to fly at half mast. Will things ever change in this country? Oh! This last plane crash really hit the very depth of my heart; there goes another old friend. I am touched, and I know you are as well; as a matter of fact, everyone that has ‘nija’ blood running in his vein is at the moment of his life when the clock has suddenly stopped ticking.
Dear Lord; not another plane crash! Our leaders will never learn or would they?

We keep repeating same mistake over and over again. Our airplanes are actually like death traps; every other year we lose our best hands. We lose top grade professionals in different industries; men and women that could have steered the ship of this great nation to her destiny.

Fathers bid their children farewell hoping to catch a quick trip to some states in the North or in the East without the slightest idea that they were never going to set their eyes on their loved ones ever. Trips designed to last an hour or less leading to the great beyond where no one ever returns. More and more young widows are made every other year from avoidable and needless air crashes. We never learn; at least not until air crashes become something that happens naturally in our country.

Farewell to all departed souls, farewell to breadwinners, farewell to dreams. Welcome loneliness; loneliness to those families who will have to adjust their lifestyles to suit their new found status.

Is it not so sad that vendors and the press in general are smiling to the banks since bad news sells a lot? These are low moments in our lives; but did you know that hundreds of people out there are smiling to the banks? I guess millions all over the world can’t even remember where they kept the remote control of their decoders; having turned their cable television stations to CNN and Aljazeera since the news of the air crash broke out.

Some are even fed up because it is not the first time they are hearing such news. In fairness, plane crashes happen in other countries, but ours have become a tradition. The only thing we ever get to hear after these crashes are beautiful and emotional speeches from men on babarigas and other traditional attires. Our leaders have become used to constructing beautiful condolence speeches; speeches that never get beyond the lips. We are such hypocrites; individuals who are soon to sweep serious issues under the carpet as soon as we get to the comfort of our mansions and castles.

As I write this, there are several headlines that could drive you crazy. The government is being quoted yet again; yes they have gone on record as usual to promise “full scale investigation into the air disaster;” but nothing seems to happen! Of course, immediate actions will always be taken in form of committees, panel of enquiries, etc; but is that not always where it ends? Heavy clamp downs are made almost immediately in the form of arrests and seizure of licenses; but only for a while. Lives and emotions of millions of people are sacrificed just to please their cronies.

If you feel sick and tired of things happening in our airspace; then you have got company because I am shocked beyond description. No doubt compensations will be paid; insurance companies will be called upon to pay, but is that enough to console those who have lost their loved ones?
I am a bit tempted, and I think there is nothing bad in trying to find out what criteria are used in issuing licenses to airline operators? Are licenses issued on the basis of your financial ability or your relationship with those in authority?

Until things are done the way they ought to; it will be difficult to see those beautiful speeches other than what they already are. They are nothing but words oozing out from lips tainted with hypocrisy and deceit.

SOURCE : www.iyandasdiary.com

Good Samaritan Or Victim Of Weak Legal System?

Nigeria was once described as one of the most religious country in the world. This description cannot be far from being true considering the fact that Nigerians hardly speak for hours without mentioning the name of God. Apart from that, Nigeria is thickly populated by two major religious groups; Christians and Muslims.

As a Christian, I was raised knowing that Christianity is a religion based on love. That is why one of the best passages I love in the bible is one that tells the parable of the Good Samaritan. In the passage, our Lord Jesus Christ had asked who our neighbour was. He simply went ahead to explain how a Good Samaritan had helped a man who was probably attacked by robbers and dumped by the wayside. According to the parable, everyone including the man’s kinsmen had refused to lend a helping hand until this Good Samaritan came.

Anytime I see or hear a story of how an accident victim had been left to die on the roadside unattended to; the first thing that comes to mind is the parable of the Good Samaritan. Why is it difficult to stop and offer a helping hand to someone who is an accident victim? I won’t be the “first to cast” the proverbial stone; but it is important to ask because a lot of us have watched accident victims die when we could have been of great help.

As I seat in front of my computer typing away; I can’t help but wonder why we turn the other way when we come across accident victims or people who truly need our help.
Well, is it because some people can’t stand the sight of blood or are we worried about the possibility of getting into trouble because of the society we live in?

We live in a society where a lot of innocent people have been sent to jail for daring to offer a helping hand to car crash victims. Our laws have been made in such a way that even hospitals struggle to accept accident victims without police reports or initial deposits. Our society is so cruel to people who dare stop bye to save lives of accident victims; but should that be enough reason to abandon a man or woman who needs our urgent help to stay alive?

I have watched and heard on national news how the government had on several occasions promised to amend existing laws to encourage people to offer assistance to accident victims without being made to suffer unnecessary consequences; but I dare say nothing has come out of those promises.

Some of our hospitals have failed us in hours of needs, and we have hopelessly watched innocent people depart this world when all that could have saved their lives was a show of care. People who shouldn’t have died in the first place are dying in our hospitals; and we couldn’t care less.
Children and innocent pedestrians are run over by escorts and other reckless drivers who have turned our roads into racetracks. Ironically, hospitals that should provide care and first class treatments are not helping matters. Even when some of these hospitals are willing to offer a helping hand; the required medical equipment are lacking.

Our society is so cruel that the rich who get involved in accident are soon flown abroad where they get first class medical treatments; while the poor are left or dumped at a general or private hospital with no first class medical equipment.
Sad thing is, when a Good Samaritan decides to damn the consequences just to save the life of an accident victim; he is discouraged by the ‘no doctor on duty’ or ‘no police report’ disease. Issues like these have led to the death of hundreds of people all over Nigeria.

The law should not only protect accident victim; but also protect the ‘Good Samaritan’ who should be given the benefit of the doubt; and not treated like a criminal. Our country should stop treating the poor as second class citizens who should be dumped in some local hospitals to die waiting for non-existing drugs or doctors to cater to their needs.

We either treat or respect them as Good Samaritans or turn them to victims of weak legal system. We owe it a duty to stop making monsters of our citizens. In other civilized societies or democracies, laws are made for the people, and not the other way round.


SOURCE:www.iyandasdiary.com

He Wants His Son Back After What He Made Me Go Through!

Dear readers,

Men are horrible; and I have no apology for using that word! After what he made me go through, he now wants his son back.
My name is Abake, and I am a single mother of a beautiful and charming four year old boy named Daniel. I was in senior secondary school 1 (SS1) when I Daniel’s father put me in the family way. Imagine the disappointment in the eyes of my parents, brothers, and school authorities when the story of my pregnancy was made known. Those days were terrible for me as I was immediately expelled from school, and virtually ostracized in the neighbourhood by family and friends.

To say I didn’t contemplate suicide during those days is a massive understatement especially since Justin, the guy responsible for my pregnancy denied he had a hand in it. Justin was not just my boyfriend during the time; he was also the one who deflowered me. He flatly denied responsibility for my pregnancy; and relocated to an unknown location when my parents threatened him with the police.

The pressure on me was so much that my parents had to send me to Oshogbo to stay with my dad’s younger sister. My relocation to Oshogbo was to help me get over the pressure and give me a new lease of life. Through the help and support of God and my dad’s younger sister, I was able to overcome my emotional and psychological trauma. Aunty Aduni, my dad’s younger sister also registered me for my compulsory antenatal. She also registered me in a fashion school where I was to learn how to sew and design both ladies and children’s wears.

I gave birth to Daniel just a few weeks to Christmas and even though things looked a bit tough as a young teenager who was being giving a baptism of fire in a very hard way; I was able to overcome.

Afterwards, it was tears every night as the pain and shock of Justin’s denial and the thought of what to tell my son when he grows up and start asking for his father. I cried every other night; and my aunty did all she could to encourage me. More shocking is the fact that never for once did the supposed father of my son visit our home or ask after me even from my friends.

I returned to Lagos just few days to Daniel’s 2nd birthday; and this time around, my parents welcomed me with so much love. Though, it hurts, I decided to move ahead with my life without letting the events of the past weigh me down.

Daniel is now four years old, and guess what? He is every inch like his father in terms of physical appearance. My child may look just like his father in terms of physical appearance; but God forbid that he takes after his father’s heartless character.

One Sunday evening as I was taking Daniel to the salon to have his haircut; guess who I saw? I saw Justin, the heartless father of my son walking towards my direction along with one of his aunties. Imagine the anger and bitterness in my heart and on my face the moment I set my eyes on him. I was not prepared to say hello or acknowledge any of his greetings; but I couldn’t help but respond when his aunty greeted me. Justin’s aunty asked if I could spear her a couple of minutes; and I bluntly told her I was in a hurry. She didn’t make any effort to persuade me; but I knew it was certainly not the last time because it was obvious that they wanted to have some words with me.

Justin’s family members, friends and several church members have since been sending messages to plead on his behalf. The truth is he doesn’t just want forgiveness from me; he also wants my bundle of joy.

It is possible to forgive him; but is it really possible to give him the privilege or honour of calling him the father of a child he once denied? What if I had lost my life during those periods?
Another problem is that my parents don’t even want him around me and my child. He is even a persona non grata in my home.

SOURCE :www.iyandasdiary.com

See Where My Desperation Has Landed Me

Dear Readers,

Any woman would give anything in the world to be blessed with a man like Larry; but the thing is, not everyone would love to be in this same situation I now find myself because of my desperation.

My name is Beatrice, and I have been married for eleven months with a man you could call the most charming husband this part of the world. To say eleven months was a long time not to have been blessed with a child yet is a massive overstatement because there are couples that have gone several years without one.

I knew how important a child is to every home; but that was not enough reason to have chosen to do such a terrible and despicable thing. I wanted to give my one and only Larry a child; but eleven months was a long time to wait. Larry encouraged me to be patient and that God would bless us with a child of our own in His own time. My husband’s family were not yet up in arms with me; but I was so desperate that I insisted that Larry and I went for a test.

Everyone excluding myself noticed how desperate I was, and that gave the devil the opportunity to exploit me. Then one day I decided to take my desperation to an entirely new height by asking a friend of mine to help me seek solution to my supposed problem. Uju agreed to help me since she too was unable to bear a child the first six years of her marriage.

Uju’s decision to help me was the beginning of the problem I now find myself in at the moment. Oh! I wished I had listened to my husband and our church pastor who advised me to continue to wait for God’s time.

Uju took me to a native doctor who promised that I would be able to get pregnant and give birth to a child in the next nine months. I saw this as a cheery news since all I desired was to bear Larry’s child in my womb. He gave me some concoctions and gave me specific instruction on how to use them; and warned me of dire consequences if things were done contrarily.

I did everything the native doctor asked me to without skipping a single step; but nothing changed. From then it was one native doctor’s or pastor’s place to another; but all to no avail. Then I took my desperation to the height that finally landed me where I have found myself at the moment; I arranged for a man to get me pregnant without knowing all the while that Larry was the reason behind my inability to bear a child.

I am so ashamed to say this; but I managed to get myself pregnant through a guy Uju introduced me to. I couldn’t hide my excitement when the doctor gave me the result of the pregnancy test confirming that I was 5 weeks pregnant. I went straight to Larry’s favourite joint, where he always met with other friends of his to deliver the news to him.

I was expecting Larry to throw his harms around me and give me a big hug since that was what we have always wanted; but what happened next really took me by surprise. He took me outside, and asked me who the father of the child was. I was shocked and scared at the same time; did anyone ever see me with the guy responsible for my pregnancy? Not even my attempt to pretend not to know what Larry was talking about could change anything as he quietly walked away.

It was obvious from Larry’s reaction that something was wrong somewhere; whatever it was, I was definitely not prepared for it. Dear readers, I got home that evening to discover through a couple of documents/papers deliberately left on the bed by Larry that he would never be able to get a woman pregnant.

These documents didn’t look like forged ones as they were signed by a reputable doctor from a reputable hospital here in Abuja. They were results from tests conducted after Larry was involved in an accident some years back before we met.
Larry was wrong not to have told me about it; but I was also wrong to have not only cheated on my husband, but lied to him that the baby I was carrying belonged to him.

Two weeks after and I am yet to set my eyes on Larry; and I don’t even know who to turn to. Is Larry’s mother already aware of this because it is unlike her not to come to our house at least once every week?

What should my next step be? Should I open up to my pastor or quietly pack my things and leave Larry’s house?

SOURCE :www.iyandasdiary.com

Dear Readers,

I know a lot of people would be wondering at that headline or topic; but I suggest you wait until you have heard me out. I believe in perfect love; one that is unconditional, but not when it always reminds me of where I am coming from. Not when it reminds me of a bleak and not so reassuring future.

Until now, no one; not even those who never see anything positive in me doubted the love that existed between Dele and I. Dele and I have been dating for quite sometime now; eight years to be specific. He loves me, and I have no doubt in my heart that I love him. However, I am not convinced that the love that exists between us should end in marriage; now that is strange isn’t it?

I will be honest with you because I want someone who can convince me to do otherwise. I want someone to convince me that love alone is enough to make a happy home. I want someone out there to convince me how love alone will be sufficient to put food on the table, pay my children’s school fees, secure the best university education in CU or Babcock University, and on and on.

Yes, I also wish to be convinced that a man who would climb the highest mountain to profess his love for me;but earns below 25,000 Naira is the kind of man that will take me to the next level in terms of destiny. My mother married for love; but that was a decision that has deprived us of quality education. That was a decision that has virtually turned my family into one that is constantly harassed by landlords in various houses we have lived.

Things are so bad in our family that we only recently changed our black and white television set into an old school coloured one. If love brings peace and harmony in the family, why are my parents always at logger heads over money? History will not repeat itself in my case; I love him, but I am not convinced that he is the one to make me happy.

My determination not to marry him becomes even stronger each time I see my mum grabbing my dad’s shirt for feeding money.
Do I want to marry a man who can take care of me and provide everything that makes a home happy, and lively? Yes I do. Do I want to marry a man I love, but whose present financial status is not convincing, and the future doesn’t look convincing enough as well? No I don’t!

I will never marry him for love alone; except of course someone out there gives me practical reason to do so.


SOURCE :www.iyandasdiary.com

Dear Readers,

My name is Alade; Alade Adejare, the only son of my parents. I grew up not knowing who my mother was as I was told that she passed away when I was just six months old. From all the things I gathered while growing up, my father adored my mum so much that the thought of marrying another woman never for once crossed his mind. My dad had raised my sister and I virtually all alone even without asking for help from any of his female friends.

Then on my 21st birthday, and just when my sister and I were beginning to think we would never see our dad bring in a woman to live with us; things suddenly changed! Yes I was expecting a birthday present from my dad and sister; but never for once did I ever imagine it was going to come in form of a stepmother. Yes you heard me right; my dad was already advanced in his plans to take Lara as his wife. He broke the news to my sister and I; and quietly introduced our new step mother to us.

For one who never really understood what a mother’s love really feels like; I didn’t have much to complain about. However, I wasn’t too happy, not because I cared if he got married or not; but because Lara was way too young for my dad. Lara was not only cute and attractive; she has this looks that makes me feel she is desperate.

To cut the story short, and spare you details that might never do you any good in the end; Lara started buying me gifts. She would buy me gifts and support me even when I am in the wrong. She treated me just like an adult or was it because she wanted something? We went to eateries and social engagements together; not as lovers, but at least as stepmom and son.

I knew we were getting too close for comfort; but it never bothered me because my intentions were not tainted with dirty ambitions. Then on one of those days when my dad was far away on one of those business trips of his; Lara started showing the other side of her.She would come into my room late into the nights when my elder sister was fast asleep. She would come on the pretence that she couldn’t sleep, and wanted to have chats with me to while away the night.

Then on one of those nights, she finally opened up. She revealed how she had fallen heads over heels with me from the very first time she saw me. She complained bitterly of how my dad had failed on so many occasions to make love to her; and how she wished things were different with me as his lover. Of course, I was shocked to say the least; to think this had been Lara’s plan all the while. Now I perfectly understand why those gifts have never stopped coming. Now I also understand why Lara would defend me even when I am out rightly wrong.

The thing is I definitely don’t want to sleep with my father’s wife; but she just won’t give up on her plans!

Now what do I do? Should I tell my sister; who never liked the idea of marrying a woman like Lara in the first place? Should I tell my dad? Will he ever believe me?

SOURCE: www.iyandasdiary.com

Wow,with a heavy heart, I’m back on my computer. Typing and trying to wrap my head around how I actually burst such a move.
Why I would hurt someone I love so much? I was madly in love with Joy; gosh I truly loved everything about her. She was indeed my little angel. I always had the impression I was taking care of her but to be honest she was my soul. She was there for me when I needed her and was even there when I didn’t need her. She was all I ever wanted in a girl and she was no ordinary girl. She was full of life; she had a very good heart and just lovely to be with.

Enough of how I felt about Joy. Our relationship was just how I wanted it. We were not just like friends but complete lovers and I had met all her siblings, she had met mine too and they loved everything about her as well. Even Voltron, her dad was now close to me, we chatted up most times and it was just nice knowing her wonderful family as well. While it all looked perfect, I was dying inside.

My head was filled with all sorts of questions. Wondering and asking myself why I was getting too serious with Joy. The more I tried to stop loving her, the more I grew closer and fell deeper in love. It kept going on for a while and I just felt I was capable of taking care of it. But my precious Joy, would look at me at times and just tell me to pray and talk to God. Tell him my heart desires and just trust in him. Gosh I just felt I was losing it.

I was used to being on the fast lane, partying, drinking, clubbing, but here I was trying so hard to listen and try to do the right things. Why is it so hard to do the right things and the bad ones so easy…?

One thing I loved about Joy was that she was a Good Christian and I admired her for that. She gave me a Bible one time as a gift. Silly me, was expecting a bottle of perfume or a shirt or something nice. If I had known o, maybe I should have appreciated my Bible more than I did. LOL. She was quite close to her creator and we did go to church together, but it was always my baby asking us to go, taking charge and wanting the very best for her man.

She was perfect, too perfect, but most times I will come up with silly reasons just to pick arguments with her about the way she pointed out and told me my mistakes. She was my Love teacher o. He he he.

Life went on as usual and we talked about moving forward and doing away with some of my naughty ways. Gosh I was naughty; I just felt invincible and thought she wouldn’t hear of my escapades. I started slowing down, but you know a leopard never changes his skin. But this leopard was so determined to change for the one he loved.

I did, Oh yes, I did change, stayed away from the babes totally! Well, maybe for about a month or two. It was just me and my baby, and it was kind of the best time of my life. It was peaceful, not running from one hostel to the other or trying to satisfy every girl I came in contact with .Lol. We were inseparable, always together, things got better, and she was just so much into her God and her man. Her health was getting better by the day and she kept radiating more and more.

She really tried so hard to carry me along with her to be more faithful , religious and live according to our Christian morals but I struggled, I fought, I tried my best but the more I tried , the more I slipped .

My thought kept flooding back, asking questions again, why I would be blessed with such a beautiful girl who loved me so much and wanted the best for me. But in the process of her pulling me up, I was pulling her down and it was killing me and was eating me up so bad. At times I just tried to avoid been alone with her. Though she was such a strong person, I could feel her let her guard down at times just because of love, she would see me do silly things and after scolding me she will still accept me back. I was totally confused, God what should I do?

I kept talking and it was so difficult for me to share with friends because they wouldn’t understand. I called her and mentioned it that I was feeling bad because I always felt I was the one pulling her down but she just waived it off and told me not to be silly. It went on and on, I did everything to change, I did try my possible best, but guess it wasn’t good enough.

Well, after so much thinking and praying, I knew I needed a miracle to get me out of this situation, because I just wanted the will power to be there for her all the time, but it wouldn’t turn out that way.

I called my Joy one evening and we took a walk around the lecture room where we finally found a dark corner. We talked and I told her I was madly in love with her and she will always have a special place in my heart, but I felt I was really dragging her down, and told her she deserved someone better, (all this while I was crying, sobbing like a baby). She just didn’t want to believe what I was telling her .

The more I told her how and what had been on my mind, the more I cried because I didn’t want to let her go but I knew I had to, I had no choice so I thought. We both just cried, held each other so close and it was so difficult saying goodbye to someone you know was a soul mate .Kolawole mi , Kolawole mi, Kolawole mi, why? Why? Why? Was all I heard her say. I tried so hard to make her understand but guess I didn’t understand it myself. It was one of the most horrible nights I have ever witnessed in my life.

I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest, but deep down in me I just had to. I took her back to her hostel we hugged and wouldn’t let each other go, we shed more tears. Yes, yes I cried again o. Well, I guess I am a die-hard romantic guy. Guess that’s what the girls I dated said o. ha ha ha.

Wow, I don’t believe ,I am writing all this stuff, it should be about 20yrs ago but the memories are fresh, maybe this will bring a closure to my endless journey of what it means to lose a true love.

Well, finally managed to pull away from each other and as I drove away I could see her walk into her hostel. I felt like running back just to tell her April fool or something but I had to control myself. I drove slowly back to my room, filled with a heavy heart, guilt and sure I made the right decision.

Feeling lifeless, I just couldn’t wait for the next day to come. I had lectures but couldn’t be bothered. I saw a friend of hers and asked if she was fine because I was so worried and all she said was what do u expect. Gosh! I felt my heart racing again, I controlled myself but had to make sure she was fine.

I tried to socialize, talking to friends but kept checking the windshield of my car for notes, but never got one. I finally rushed to her room later in the day and was told she had gone home to be with her family. I didn’t know what else to do then, wait? Pray? silly! I now remembered how to pray.

Well, hours, turned into a day and the second day she came to check on me. We just hugged and tried to be so normal but we could barely look into each other’s eyes unlike before. Exchanged pleasantries, asked if she was okay and bullied that I had to go for a lecture just to get away from that situation because I had started thinking about reversing my previous decision . It was one of the most painful decisions I have ever made.

My family members couldn’t and didn’t understand why I would let my gem go but it was between me and My God. I begged God to grant her long live, even if I had to walk away or risk losing my only true love. Gosh! slowly I became a shadow of myself but I guess I still nursed the fact that we will soon come back together because I started praying and working on myself but with time I knew my soul mate, who was my angel wasn’t around me.

Before long I was trying desperately to hold on but I was back to my old ways, partying and sleeping with anything in skirt. We kept running into one another and we just tried to be cordial but for me, deep down I felt I would surely see her and be with her again. Hmmmm I even entered into a relationship shortly afterwards and she felt I must have broken up with her just to be with this new jambite, (that was what we called freshers back then in school).

It was more hurting for me, knowing she thought I did that to get at her. But God sees my heart, that I broke up just because of how much I truly loved her and it might not have been the right decision but it was done with a good heart. We remained so close that even the person I was seeing was kind of jealous of the friendship, but she had no choice than to accept the fact that it was something I had control over. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months, I still saw the yellow posts and sticker notes on my car but they reduced gradually. Anytime we came across each other, it brought smiles and laughter into my life for which I will be forever grateful. I was still close to her family members and we exchanged pleasantries once in a while whenever we saw.

I don’t know whether she ever felt so strongly or loved me as much as I did love her but I just felt it was right. Well some people might say it was just school love, some others might agree and say she was a soul mate but I know she was really a gem and a treasure.

One of the most memorable events that occurred after we broke up, which was on my birthday was a day I would and can never forget for the rest of my life. I woke up happy, a year older and wiser so they say and things were getting better and falling into shape, had a beautiful girl who was now my girlfriend.

The day was going fine and my girl friend said I should drop her off at the hostel which was where my Joy stayed as well. As I drove into the car park, I saw Joy’s car pulling out of the parking lot but turned around and hurriedly got out of the car. I saw joy running towards me, she had this look and I just thought she wanted to come wish me a happy birthday.

She eased into my out stretched out arms and gave me a hug, wow. In front of the hostel, and she just wouldn’t let go, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. She still wrapped her arms around me and I glanced in the direction of my girl friend who just stared at us. Joy finally spoke and I felt the tears rolling down her eyes. Kolawole mi, happy birthday, she wished me well and she said, she could never forget me, and I will always be part of her life.

Still dazed and wondering what and where all that came from, I said thank you and she looked into my eyes and said kolawole mi, my dad passed away this morning. I almost collapsed. She gave me a warm kiss and I could see people stare at us and she just told me to take care and that even though she would want to forget me, but how on earth could she, now, seeing that she lost her dad on my birthday.

Wow, even as I write this concluding part of this story, my eyes are laced with tears. Don’t worry, I’m not crying o, but just that the thoughts and emotions came rushing back. I live with the memories of having known what love is all about and what it meant to be truly loved.

I travelled shortly after we broke up and must have spoken to her about on very few occasions and we never met but everyone who ever came in touch with me knew this wonderful person. I heard her voice again after so many years and even just me saying hello, she goes kolawole, how are you doing. LOL, what happened to kolawole mi. I’m joking o, I was so happy to hear she was doing very well and happily married with 2 lovely kids.
Please I do hope she doesn’t come across this, but if she does, it wasn’t for any bad intentions, I just had to share it with the world to show that true love does exist out there and I wouldn’t have asked to have been in love with no one other than you, Joy .You were a rare gem and I’m sure your man must be lucky to have you in his life.

As I begin to round off, I’ll say, don’t ever forget to tell your loved ones all the time, how much you truly love them . Make it a habit, life is short and I do hope we will find our heart desires.

Well, as for me I will still keep going to churches, going on badoo, gosh I almost left out weddings .LOL, and all the right places until I meet that someone special who I will call my other half.

Please single ladies send in your application o. he he he. Well, sometimes, all good things must come to an end for the start of something wonderful.

Thanks for enduring and enjoying this three part series of “My one true love”. Cheers.


Iyanda

N.B My one true love Part (1) and Part (11) are available on www,iyandasdiary.com

How Far Do I Have To Run Away From My Forbidden Fruit?

Dear Readers,

Life is full of several opportunities; yet we are always attracted to those things we have been prohibited from touching. Like Eve in the Garden of Eden, we are always attracted to those things that are called taboos; those things that have the potential of providing momentary relief. Is that not why we are where we are today? Is that not the genesis of man’s suffering? The fruit Eve gave to Adam; yes the fruit that has caused and is still causing us so much pain and anguish! That’s what best describes the situation I find myself right now. Dear Lord, how do I get this burden off my shoulder?

I met Deji, during my first year in the University of Lagos; and he is the dream of any woman. He was not only among the most popular undergraduates in the Law faculty, he was also very intelligent; and of course, from a rich family. Though, I was already two years into a relationship before I met him; I wasn’t ready to let such a guy pass me bye just like that. Fate opened a chapter for Deji and I almost the same week we set eyes on each other; and that marked the beginning of my problem.

I was able to keep up with ‘deolu; my boyfriend at that time, and now my husband, without compromising the trust he had in me while also going out with Deji. Yes Deji had it all; but the problem with him and with other cute guys out there as well was the number of girls who also wanted to date him. I got broken-hearted on so many occasions by Deji; yet it wasn’t enough to keep me away from him.

Deep within me, I knew he was not the kind of man I wanted to settle down with; but the will to walk out of the torment I call relationship was lacking. As fate would have it, we both graduated from the university, and got posted to different states for the National Youth Service program. I missed him for a while before memories of him started fading away, and finally things became normal within me; or so I thought.

I got married to ‘deolu and we started a family almost immediately. My family was a perfect example of a happy and Godly one. What more could we ask for; two lovely boys, a very popular law firm, lots of expensive cars in the garage, a house of our own, and of course, tastefully furnished; I mean what more could one possibly ask for?

Then one day, my husband spoke about a lawyer who has been talking him into agreeing into some kind of partnership that has success written all over it. It has always been the dream of ‘deolu to build and establish a law firm that will outlive generations; one that has the best hands in the profession. I didn’t see anything wrong with it since it has always been ‘deolu’s dream; but I was wrong? That friend turned out to be Deji! Yes, my forbidden fruit; imagine the shock when my husband introduced Deji to me as a friend and business partner?

Oh dear! Deji is back, and has never hidden his desire to rekindle the fire that I thought was no longer there; but just that this time, I am happily married with two lovely children. Deji is always taking advantage of every opportunity he has to remind me of what we once had. He would hold me, kiss me, and run his fingers all over my body at the slightest opportunity that comes his way even in the office.

Dear Lord, what should I do? Should I open up and tell my husband that I cheated on him while I was in school? I could barely resist Deji’s advances that keep getting stronger and stronger by the day

SOURCE:www.iyandasdiary.com