₦airaland Forum

10 rules for dating my son.Composed by a concerned mother.A must read by all ladies .Lmao

Source:www.iyandasdiary.com

Times are definately changing o.Imagine those days of our grand mothers ,compare it to wives of today and try imagine what the wives of future would be like.God help us .Lmao

For more amazing , interesting true life stories .

Do visit www.iyandasdiary.com

MY PARENTS HATES HIM

Dear readers,

I’m the only daughter of my parents and the last born. I was aware that three of my elder brothers got married to women from our hometown in Offa. In fact, my immediate brother’s wife’s family house is just a street away from our house. Despite that I knew all that, I never related it to a family norm.

I have been dating a guy for a few months now and we are getting serious about the relationship. Things are really going smooth between us and I feel confident that he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. All I ever wanted was to get married to him.

There is one huge problem. My parents are completely not in support of the relationship. They haven’t met him one on one before but, I’ve briefed them about the kind of humble person he is. Yet, they hate him. I keep trying to get them to spend time with him and get to know him, but they refused. They completely wrote him off based on superficial judgements and they swore not to have anything to do with him.

I told my guy to also put in his effort to convince them. I told him to try his best to change their perception about him. He called my dad on phone and he out rightly despised him. he also called my mom who was calm with him. She explained to him that the situation was beyond her control.

One day, I angrily went to question my mom concerning the reason why they are treating me like that. How could they hate a man they have not even seen before so much like that? I started crying unto her. That was when my mom explained everything to me. She said my father has forbidden any of his children from marrying people from another tribe. He believes that they would not have a successful marriage based on the difference in their background.

It was then I realised why my brothers married people who live close to us. But, to me, it didn’t make any sense. How can a father decide who his children marry? I can’t afford to lose the man I love to this barbaric belief of my parents. But, my father has sworn not to bless any child who goes against his order. Where on earth will I start from?

I don’t want to loose the relationship and I also don’t want to move on without my parent’s blessing.

What should I do?

source :www.iyandasdiary.com

WHY DIDN’T I FORGIVE HIM?

Dear readers,

In this world, we have different people with their different ways of life. You basically find yourself having to live with people’s deficiencies. There are people who are good to you because they have a good heart. While there are some who are good to you because they want you to think that they have a good heart. In either case, you must cope well with them.

I didn’t realize this early in life and it has made me lose so many people. I had a friend back in school. We were so close and we were almost like brothers before I realized the kind of person he was. It made me run totally away from him and now I regret ever doing so.

Yinka used to be hard to deal with. Aside that, he’s jovial, nice, friendly and approachable. The major issue he had,Is that you can’t do business with him without regretting it. Initially, our friendship went on smooth. Whenever we had troubles, we settle it with ease.

Not until one day that I gave him money to help me secure an accommodation because i wasn’t around.That was when I realized the kind of dubious person he is. He actually got a place for me but I wasn’t contented with the condition of the apartment. The money I gave Yinka should have rented a better apartment and I insisted we collect the money back and get another one worthy of the money. My friend refused. He said there was no point in stressing ourselves. He insisted that we can never get a better place except I add money so I gave it up.

I lived in that house for about four months but, was still on a personal lookout for a better apartment. I soon got a neater and cheaper house. I requested for a transfer of ownership of the apartment and I got someone who was ready to rent my former apartment. I was supposed to be refunded with the sum of fifty thousand naira for the remaining eight months.

To my surprise, the landlord gave me twenty thousand naira. I explained that my money should be fifty and not twenty thousand so he brought out his copy of the payment receipt. I was shocked when I realized that the apartment my friend got for me was thirty thousand lower than the money I gave him.

I was furious and without thinking, I went to his house to harass him. I told him to refund my money and when he was adamant, I gave him the hardest blow ever on his mouth. When neighbours came to intervene, I left the scene angrily.

About a week later, Yinka came to meet me in class and apologised. He said he wasn’t thinking right when he did it to me. I didn’t want to hear him speak further so I walked out on him. I made sure everyone heard about it because I was really not happy with what he did.With that, Yinka gave up on reconciling with me and we graduated without saying a friendly word to each other.

Many years later I joined facebook and got connected with most of my old friends but, I never for once searched for him. To me, he had done something that is unforgivable.

One day, I saw another friend of mine use Yinka’s photo as his profile picture. The next thing I saw on his post was “R.I.P Yinka”. I could not believe my eyes. I quickly called the guy to confirm what I saw. Yinka was dead for real. I couldn’t believe my ears either.

I felt so horrible. I saw myself as the worst being on earth. Yinka actually apologised to me but I refused to forgive him. How could I have been so cruel? He did something bad but everybody does bad things. If I knew he was going to die soon, I wouldn’t have been that wicked to him.

I want to forgive him now but, he’s not here. What am I supposed to do? Will I ever be chanced to forgive him to his face?

I wish he could just see my heart and understand how terrible I’m feeling right now.I am with a heavy heart .God help me.

SOURCE: www.iyandasdiary.com

Dear readers,

I don’t know whether to move on with my new life or return to my past . Two roads lie ahead of me. I can’t take the two roads at a time and I can’t decide which one not to take. They are so similar and dont know what to do.
I’m a young guy who is full of life. I’ve always believed in having a single relationship all my life.I was even called “lover boy”.because i truly believe in dating one girl at a time.

When I met my girlfriend, she was a Jambite looking for admission. Then, I was in my final year. She used to be very innocent and disciplined. I loved her so much and I could tell she loved me to.

By the time I graduated, she gained admission so we didn’t pass through school life together. But, no weekend passed by without seeing each other. Even while I had no job, I still found means of getting money to visit her in school. She was the love of my life.

One day, I had an accident along Ketu- Ikorodu road. A young girl who probably was not in her right state of mind drove to the extreme side of the road and hit me.When i woke up I found myself in the hospital and from the corner of my eyes, I saw her crying beside me and Iguessed she was the one who hit me with her car.She looked relieved when I opened my eyes and told her not to cry anymore.

She kept apologizing and told my she was lost in thoughts when the accident happened.I was very upset but i just had to forgive her when i saw how sweet and innocent she looked . She was there with me throughout my stay at the hospital.
Even though I was in so much pain and I just discovered my leg was broken ,the person i really wanted to hear from was my girlfriend and i tried her couple of times,sent her text messages , telling her about the accident. But, to my surprise, she didn’t get back to me.

Later on, i noticed the phone had been switched off and I made efforts to send some friends and family members to check her out in sch ool but to my utmost suprise it was like she dissappeared into thin air.Thoughts flooded my mind, I kept on worrying, thinking maybe i did something bad or where i went wrong in the relationship for her not to want to call me or hear from me again.I was heart broken i knew i had to just focus on getting better.

When I was leaving the hospital after some months, the girl who hit me was the one who drove me home.We got to know each other better during my stay at the hospital and her parents also visited me. She requested to come and visit me from time to time at home to know how i was coping . I agreed to her request so we became very good friends and saw each other almost on a daily basis.

I tried my girlfriend’s number for a while and really tried my best in locating her .I finally gave up and before I knew what was happening I discovered I had strong feelings for Tare and thats how we started a relationship .She’s from a good home but also very humble and so caring .What tripped me most about her was how simple and loving.

I found out that she had all I wanted in a woman. Her characters were not different from my former girlfriend’s own.We were fine together and I just forgot about my old relationship.I eventually built my world around Tare and it was fine with me.
Soon after, I heard news that my ex had been ill and was taken to her village for treaments .Thinking back now ,I realised it was almost the time I had my accident. When I heard the news, I wasn’t myself again so; I quickly went to her school to make enquiry from the informant.

I rushed to her village some days later. I was shocked and couldn’t believe my eyes when i saw my ex.I really felt sorry for her. I instantly blamed myself for not trying hard enough to locate her .I just assumed she had found somebody else and was avoiding me or maybe travelled out or something but i never occured to me that she could be in such a terrible state of health.

When I saw her, I asked her why she didn’t pick my calls or didnt try to get in touch for months and she explained that she has been in such a terrible state for a long time and even the shame of her been bed ridden made her to stay away from everyone .I told her my own ordeal and we just started crying.

I didn’t like the condition I met her. I wanted to stay by her side till she recovers fully but, the thought of Tare won’t let me. I also want to hasten up and go and see that lovely girl again.

I thought much about whom I love more but, I can’t just come to a reasonable conclusion. I’m with my ex now and the thought of Tare won’t set me free. She’s been calling severally but, I can’t pick her calls. I don’t know what to do.

SOURCE :www.iyandasdiary.com

I LOST EVERYTHING

Dear readers,

If I could reverse the hands of the clock, I would do things differently. If there were a second chance to life, I wouldn’t mind coming as a woman. For me, being a man is harder.

I’m a middle age man with no wife but a son. Counting back, my son should be about 15 years old there about. The last time I set my eyes on him, he was 3years old. He looked smart back then so I’m confident that he’ll do fine wherever he is around the world. I just pray he doesn’t end up like his irresponsible father.

When I was young, I always dreamt about being a medical student as most male children would dream of. As I grew up, I ended up being a block- head. I knew the fault lies in my foundation but nevertheless, what will be will be.

I was dropped from medical school in my year one in the university. I decided to enrol into other science courses but, I failed their entry exams woefully. When I decided to switch to any Arts or social science course, I realized I could not do so due to my subject combination in my O’level. I was advised to sit for another O’level but, I refused. It took me years before I could make a complete five credits in science courses. I didn’t want to go through that pain again. I knew I was a dullard.

I began to roam about the city when I met a group of reckless guys who introduced me to thugery and pick pocketing. As I was also a nonentity and a dumb- ass, I easily mingled with them. We did a lot of things together that responsible and educated people should not do.

There was a girl who usually sells food to us at our joint. She was a pretty girl so every one of us wanted to have a taste of her. All of us in the group had made various advances to that girl but she didn’t give in to any of us. She was so decent.

One day, I sighted the girl on my way to the joint. I looked around and confirmed no one was nearby. I caught up with her and raped her. I met her as a virgin so I wickedly took it from her. I left her there alone and went away.

Two months after the incident, the girl came to find me on the street with her mother. She pointed me to her mother and she calmly came to me to seek for audience. I excused myself from my friends so the mother explained that my girlfriend was pregnant. That was when I knew that she didn’t disclose that I raped her. Her mother thought we were dating so it was easy for me to deny.

I totally denied her and said I’ve never seen her before. I wondered how a responsible mother could have followed her daughter to such shameful scene. By the time I started raising my voice at them and people were starting to gather, they left immediately.

My attitude was still nonchalant when she gave birth to my son and I watched him grow. He looked so much like me. I never for once cared for him. He doesn’t even know what his father looks like. I don’t even know his name. I’m really a pitiful person.

Five years after the birth of my son, we were raiding a market nearby. It backfired on us and people started chasing us. One of our members got caught single handedly by a man and it led to a fight between them. He stabbed the man in the stomach in order to escape but, the man didn’t let go of him till people caught up with them. The man eventually died so the case became grave. We all were later caught and incarcerated.

I spent 15 good years in the prison with hard labour. During that period, I had thought about my life and wish to repent for good. I wished I could reverse the hands of the clock. I won’t mess with my life like this again.
I went back to the area to make enquiry about my son and his mother but they’ve relocated. I tried to find them by all means. But it was hard for me because I don’t know their names.

Dear ID readers, am lost and don’t even know where to start from again. What can I do?

Dear Readers,

The saddest moments of my life are those times I remember that I’ll have to go to work the next day. Whenever I think about my boss and how to cope with his bossy attitudes, I usually feel sad.

I want to quit my job because of him but and i am really fed up of the whole situation. It has gotten so bad that I have tried looking for jobs elsewhere but there’s not much job opportunities out there and hardly even have time to attend interviews because my boss is like a guard dog most times. So here I am stuck with my job but cant afford to quit because of my responsibilities.

If you are talking about age, my boss and I are age mates. If he’s older than me, he can’t be more than few months. But, because he’s my boss, he is totally in control of me.

I work under him as an accountant. But, he doesn’t treat me like that. He treats me like a general worker who should fill in every vacant position in the firm. I work as the office assistant, the accountant, the typist, the personal assistant and lots more. I gathered all my strength to put up with such tasks but, my boss wouldn’t just acknowledge my effort.
I didn’t mind all that, I still put in my best effort. He shouts at me, scolds and threaten me openly, I try to overlook most times but am really frustrated and I can’t put up with him anymore.

Some few weeks ago, my boss employed a new worker. The employee is a young girl. She’s a fresh graduate who just finished her youth service. She had no working experience aside the primary school which she worked for her service year. She was employed as the personal assistant to my boss. I felt relieved as I won’t have to do all the office running around anymore. But I was totally wrong.It got was with time.

Being the accountant, I asked my boss to tell me how much she earns as salary so that I can update the salary details. He told me she would be collecting 100,000 at the end of the month. I felt puzzled. I’ve been working for him for the past one year and I still earn 70,000 as salary. How come a new worker who has no working experience will come overnight and earn way more than me.

Immediately, I challenged my boss. I requested for an increase in salary. He sternly rejected my request. He told me that if I wasn’t ok with it that I can quit. He even said that whatever the girl tells me, I must do. In better words, she’s also my boss.

I felt so angry. I want to quit my job but, how will I survive without my job. I’ve not been opportune to search for another job because of the tasking nature of my present job. How could my boss be so cruel as to not appreciate all my efforts? When that company was nothing, I stood by him. When I was earning 30,000 from him, I tried all my best for the company to survive.

I want to quit my job because I’m just so frustrated.

Do I quit or continue to take rubbish from him.I don’t know what to do anymore.

SOURCE :www.iyandasdiary.com

Dear Readers,

Do you agree or dissagree that when a WOMAN says “I will be ready in 5mins ” IS EXACTLY THE SAME AS when a MAN says “I will be home in 5 mins”

Well, men are always on time and keep to time as well. Am just saying o.LOL

AGREE or DISAGREE

IYANDA

SOURCE :www.iyandasdiary.com

Dear ID readers,

I’m going through a hell of time in my home and I think it’s about time to cry to the whole world. I’ve been suffering in silent and I can’t bear it any longer.

I and my husband dated for a long time before we got married. I’m eight years younger than him so we hardly pick up fights during our courtship due to the respect I had for him. He treated me like his younger sister and I also treated him like my elder brother.

We never had sex during our courtship. Not even for once. But, we maximally explored the romantic world. Sex was the only thing we didn’t have. I made him vow not to have it with me before we married. At first, he didn’t concur. He insisted that he can’t date a girl without having sex with her. I wasn’t comfortable with that so I laid him off.

He refused to go and demanded for explanation on the reason why I made that choice. So I told him it was our tradition that anyone who disvirgins us will marry us. If he wanted to do it anyway, he should marry me first. So he left.
After some time, he came back ant told me he has agreed. I told him to promise me never to have sex with another girl outside our relationship.He also made me promise to be romantically active.

He said if I don’t, he’d walk away and never come back to me. I didn’t want him to go because it’s rear to see a guy who would agree to such terms. So I promised.Throughout the time we dated, he never for once made attempt to break his promise.

I also fulfilled my side of the bargain. Whenever he needed to ease off, I was there for him. We had a fantastic dating period and I can hardly forget those moments we had together.

The time came and we got married. We had our honeymoon and I gave him my reserved flower with joy. It was the first time I experienced it in my life. It was more fantastic than painful because he was careful as not to hurt me. I was happy and fulfilled and hoped to get more of it from my husband. But, I really got more than I expected. Alas! It was the first and last time I enjoyed sex in our marriage.

My husband suddenly turned into a beast. He immediately turned our former food meal into sex meal. Sex became the only thing we do frequently in the house. If I don’t feel like it, my husband would force me and if I don’t comply, he would hit me.
My husband leaves his work place to come home to have sex sometimes before closing hour. Each of the time, he comes home to descend on me. Even when I’m sore from the previous one, he won’t mind. I cry and bleed every time we have sex because he does it too often. He’s so much older than me so he had power chances over me if i want to fight back.

I called him one day and pleaded with him concerning the issue. I told him to please be considerate. He bluntly said no. he said as long as I’m his wife, he has the right to sex me anytime he feels like. He said he was making up for all those times that I deprived him from having sex. He said he kept his potency safe all because of me and so he had to make up for those inactive years.

I couldn’t complain further because I also know what he had to forsake because of me. But, instead of his malady to reduce, it kept on increasing. Due to too much harsh sex i believe , I’d lost two pregnancies. The doctor advised him not to have sex with me at the early stage of marriage but, he wouldn’t listen.

I am really frustrated. If I opt for a divorce now,where do i start from.

Dear ID readers, please, come to my rescue.


SOURCE :www.iyandasdiary.com

@ royal .Quite interesting the way you actually read my article word for word but guess you are missing the point.I am a christain as well but all i am suggesting is we were gven wisdom also by God to know the right thing to do not to just do it because you feel you can at the discomfort of others .Guess you didnt understand the message and it was my own point of view and you dont have to be cheeky ,you did express yourself and i could also tell you that you are totally wrong but we all do have our own personal opinion and have to be civil enough to discuss and learn from one another but you decided to just attack .Oga at the top , its fine and i did learn something from you as well .You should visit iyandadiary o.LOL

Passengers Turned Against Mobile Pastor

Several times, I often think about how these people who preach in the bus finds it convenient to inconvenient people who board the same bus with them. If you are still part of people who board public buses, pray hard to God to deliver you from it because I know the pain we go through every day. The way these so called preachers menace passengers in the bus is alarming.

Honestly, I can’t imagine coping with the driver and conductor’s nuisance and still having to tolerate additional noise from preachers. It is so annoying that this is done without considering the passengers especially people sitting close to them. People often find it difficult to complain because of the words of God which is involved and therefore, suffer in silence. I personally love God and would not like to offend him but, you can’t abuse my peace because of that.

It is so despicable that most of these preachers cannot even speak English correctly. They end up purging out the wrong scripture from their mouths. Yet, they expect people to listen to the nonsense they speak. They even tend to shout at the top of their voices thereby, spraying the passengers with concentrated saliva coming from their mouths.

It reminds me of my experience in the public bus one day. There was a preacher sitting at the back sit of the bus. No one knew who he was until he called for audience. He said “praise the lord”, and some of the passengers replied with a grudging “halleluiah”. And so the mobile pastor commenced his preaching. Trust me; his voice overpowered the nearby noises from conductors and thugs.

I was also sitting at the back sit with two other passengers between us. It was like the man was shouting directly into my ears. I was amazed that people were comfortable with it. I didn’t hear anybody’s voice in protest. So I also kept quiet. I managed to look at people’s faces to see their reaction. Their faces were squeezed with anger but they refused to talk.
I noticed that the passenger who was sitting directly in front of him was covering his ears with handkerchief and I felt sorry for him. I could imagine his pain. Other passengers too were grudging angrily but the preacher didn’t pay attention to them because there were few three people who were responding to him.

It got to a stage when I thought the preacher should stop. But, instead of stopping, he brought out a box and handed it over to the woman sitting in between us to pass it round for offering. The woman reluctantly dropped 100 naira in the box and passed the box to me.

Angrily, I threw the box on his laps and told him never to pass anything to my side again. Before I knew it, passengers turned back to him and started harassing him. One man was like “that is how they hide under God to deceive”. The woman who reluctantly dropped 100 naira in the box retrieved it back immediately. I was dumb- founded.

Let’s come to think of it. If I need to do offering, don’t I know the way to the church. How can I do offering for a mobile pastor who cannot even preach the scripture correctly? I didn’t benefit from him except that he succeeded in giving me headache with his noise. Is he really preaching or begging.

People find it difficult to challenge this act of nuisance. No one wants to sin against God. But these preachers will not cease to find your trouble.

I even noticed an advert on one of the Brt buses “No Preaching Or Hawking allowed “. Now i know the reason why.

Iyanda


SOURCE :www.iyandasdiary.com

I Can’t show him off

The kind of love I have for him is the type that I can’t categorically express. I don’t even know if I understand what I feel for him. To me, he’s the only man that makes me happy and he coped well with my deficiencies.

I’m this kind of a complicated lady. Several people find it very difficult to understand me. I’m not a bad person. It just looks to them like I complain a lot. But, why won’t I complain about things that doesn’t please me? Some even do complain that I can’t be pleased. Well, I don’t know about that, it’s just their perception about me and I’m not worried.
Due to the kind of person that people see me as, I’d found it difficult to have a stable relationship.Despite that I’m a very pretty girl, I still can’t have a relationship that last long. The highest period of time that I dated a man was 3months. I’ve dated for two weeks before even a day. I was just unlucky with guys who are really annoying.

They speak annoying words to me all in the name of starting a relationship. The one I dated for a day was the most annoying of them all. When I gave him my “yes” answer in the night, we spent the next day together and had a memorable time. On getting back home, I started receiving annoying text messages from him. He started talking about how he had been looking at my ass when we were walking. He even went further to describe how it was bouncing.

Bullshit! I got pissed by that and broke up with him instantly. If I didn’t do that, he would have gone excessive in abusing my womanhood. I came across lots of men like that. I couldn’t have just put up with them.

When I met Demola, things were different. He puts up with all my repelling attitudes. Although, Demola is not handsome. He’s far from the guy I used to dream of. He’s also a broke ass guy but, he’s the only guy who has ever swept me off my feet. He made me see all the good things about me. He never for once focused on my bad side. I was so comfortable with him.
Despite the way I feel for him, I still cannot figure out the reason why I find it difficult to introduce him to my friends as my boyfriend. I denied him on several occasions, saying that he was just a friend. He still would not get angry. Demola is so calm and God fearing.

He spoke to me about marriage. Deep within me, I knew Demola was the only man that I can successfully get married to due to my kind of person. I still could not tell him “yes” for some strange reasons. I told him to let me think about it and he said I have the whole time in the world. He said he’ll humbly wait until I decide.

Now, I’m thinking about how to break the news to my friends who actually thought Demola was just a friend. At times they even mock him in my presence thinking that he was just a friend.

That aside, how will I take such a man who’s not physically attractive home to my parents and siblings? I could remember that I and my other siblings have always been in that game of bringing home the most handsome man. Also, my mother had warned me not to marry unless my man has a good job.

Demola on his part has a job, but, he’s not earning much. He planned on getting a room and parlour apartment for the start. How will I narrate the story to my mum, siblings, family and friends?
I’m so in a tight corner and don’t know what to do.

Dear ID readers, please help me out!

SOURCE :www.iyandasdiary.com

MY STEPMOTHER IS WICKED

Dear ID readers,

Whenever I narrate my story to people, they usually think I’m gisting them about some kind of movies I’ve seen. My story sounds too much to be real but it’s certainly real.

I am from a polygamous family. My mother was the last wife of my father so, I am the last born of the family. Not only that, I am the only child of my late mother.

My mother died when I was six years old so I didn’t know much about her. The things I know about my mother are those things I heard from my step mother who I lived with. My father didn’t live with us. He always comes over some weekends but, he doesn’t relate with us except my stepmother. Whenever my stepmother reports me to him about things that I didn’t do, he always beat me like a slave.

Part of the interesting stories that my stepmother told me about my mother was that my mother was a witch.
She always told me on several occasions that I was also a witch. I used to think that witchcraft was hereditary so I believed. At times she will beat me with broom and claim that she wanted to cast the witchcraft out of me.

So I lived all my life thinking that I may also end up like my mother and I prayed to God in silent to help me out.
I later gained admission into a secondary school in Osun state last year. I’ve always been the type that keeps to myself a lot. It was because I was scared of people getting close to me. But, out of everything one could avoid, one can’t avoid friends. Even if it’s a single one.

I ended up having a friend. We became suddenly close that I knew almost all her stories. I felt that it was unnecessary for me to hide myself from her any longer. I told her all I am facing in my stepmother’s hands and also told her about my mother’s issue of witchcraft and all.

At first, she said I was narrating a film to her. But, when she saw the sincerity in my eyes, she believed. She told me not to worry that everything will be alright so I believed in her.

Before I knew what was happening, my story was the talk of the school. I never knew that my friend’s mouth leaks and I will regret confiding in her till my dying day. In no time, I became popular in the school and it got to the school authority. They had to summon my stepmother and asked her for details about me.

You won’t want to believe that she told them that I was really a witch and that they’ve been trying their best for me in the family. She said that before my eyes and I busted into tears.

The school then concluded that they take me back home and do deliverance for me. They said I could not continue coming to school because I will be creating fear in students which can blackmail the school. That was how I quit school and ended up working for her at home.

I Thought i should share my story with people .I really dont know what to do anymore.

SOURCE : www.iyandasdiary.com

Who is a saint?

Well, as much as it’s not easy to admit, it’s harder denying it. But, I can assure you it’s due to the sensitive and a heartfelt person that I am. Not until now, I do believe that men don’t cry. I wonder why I’m realizing it now or have I always been like that? What exactly has happened to me? I do not only cry to unimportant things, sometimes, I find my eyes uncontrollably, filled with tears. When I try to analyze those uninvited tears, I discovered some reasons behind them. Whenever I’m overjoyed, I see tears, I see tears when I feel sad or see people experience sad things. What actually is my business with people who experience sad things? I can’t just stand it. Can I still be called a man?

Some thoughts will just never go, regardless of your best efforts to relieve the mind off them. Like nocturnal visitors, who come into the house unbidden, armed to the teeth and make you indulge them, such thoughts hold your mind captive. They follow you wherever you go. At nights, they steal your sleep. I carry such burdens on my young mind and I like to share one of them with you. I hope you will find it interesting.

It has gotten to a stage that even my friends laugh at me but, who cares as long as I’m able to satisfy my emotions. Am I supposed to act like a so- called man when I lost a loved one? I absolutely can’t. The birth of my son was another moving story in my life. You won’t believe that I even weep at the cinema whenever I watch tragic movies. Hmmm! The level of suffering and poverty of people I see everyday around the world, I can’t stand it. I personally attribute the suffering of people to political selfishness of our leaders and their endless greed. Religious crisis is not exempted.

A million and one questions going on at the same time and I find myself seeking for answers .Most times in order not to worry so much , I have learnt to accept some of them and just believe its fate or how things are meant to be. My heart is heavy most times , I try to live to the best of my believes and by my faith .Not wanting to ask too many questions , worry or think so much but I still find myself doing just that.

As a person, I am God fearing to the core,and am from a christain family but I find it difficult to obey all his commandments . Nevertheless, I’m only human. I even find it hard to direct some questions to God because of the guilt of not obeying his words but, is that completely necessary? What if I’m not a Christian, will I be judged? This is where my question arose from. I ask myself, what if I was born into a Muslim family? The kind of practicing Muslim family. What if I grew up knowing only Allah and reading nothing but the Quran? If I never had access to publicity and never heard about Christianity and I died on the run? What then is the fate of my soul? You may also view it the other way round.

I am not trying to start a religious war here, just writing as it comes to my mind. Now, I try not to dwell on such questions but spend more time doing what I believe in and the way I was also brought up. I still keep asking if I am giving excuses or maybe deep down, I truly want to know the answer. Is it right for me to think this way or am I sinning knowing that as a Christian I shouldn’t nurture such thoughts? My intention to contribute to helping the world is giving me the courage to take the risk. Sin? God knows best.

About four years ago, precisely on the 25th of December, 2009, the whole world woke up to the sad tale of Umar Farouk Abdulmuttalab, a 24-year-old Nigerian who attempted to blow up a plane in America. He failed and was arrested and charged with terrorist activities. It was said then that as a young boy of 17years, he had been recruited and indoctrinated by a terrorist group in Yemen before being sent to perform the despicable act in the United States.

I pondered long and hard over the incident at the time and was eventually compelled to somehow, make some justifications for his action. I thought of the inveigling and the damage to his innocent mind. I wondered then, whether many of the people condemning him would not have done the same under his circumstance.
Presently, the wanton destruction of lives across the globe on religious grounds has not ceased to baffle me. As usual, I have tried to find an explanation for such acts. I think the solution is obvious. I want us to have it at the back of our mind that regardless of the religion you practice, your character and attitude towards others determines what become of you . That’s my thought anyway.

There should never be a justification for religious crises. The logic is simple: we are not responsible for our religious inclinations. Ninety-two percent of people did not choose their own religion, they had it thrust on them by their parents or guardian or the society where they were bred. Only about five percent of adults practice a religion different from that into which they were raised and three percent have no religion at all. So what justification can there be for molesting another person for practicing his own religious belief? Should a man be hated for being short or ugly or black? Certainly not. Philosophers say the mind of a child is like a clean slate at birth (tabular rasa). Whatever is inscribed on it stays for life. Some things are bigger than us, religion is one of them. How can we foster unity among people of different religious inclinations?

As we grow older, we get to make our choices in life as we come across them. Only if we are fortunate to come across them.I urge people that has intention of making good impact on human race to see this write up as a piece from the good heart of a humble soul.

Feel free to contribute to this in various ways with tangible points to enlighten people.
Let me just include that I stand corrected anytime and would be nice to share your honest opinion about the topic!

Iyanda

Who is a saint?
Well, as much as it’s not easy to admit, it’s harder denying it. But, I can assure you it’s due to the sensitive and a heartfelt person that I am. Not until now, I do believe that men don’t cry. I wonder why I’m realizing it now or have I always been like that? What exactly has happened to me? I do not only cry to unimportant things, sometimes, I find my eyes uncontrollably, filled with tears. When I try to analyze those uninvited tears, I discovered some reasons behind them. Whenever I’m overjoyed, I see tears, I see tears when I feel sad or see people experience sad things. What actually is my business with people who experience sad things? I can’t just stand it. Can I still be called a man?

Some thoughts will just never go, regardless of your best efforts to relieve the mind off them. Like nocturnal visitors, who come into the house unbidden, armed to the teeth and make you indulge them, such thoughts hold your mind captive. They follow you wherever you go. At nights, they steal your sleep. I carry such burdens on my young mind and I like to share one of them with you. I hope you will find it interesting.

It has gotten to a stage that even my friends laugh at me but, who cares as long as I’m able to satisfy my emotions. Am I supposed to act like a so- called man when I lost a loved one? I absolutely can’t. The birth of my son was another moving story in my life. You won’t believe that I even weep at the cinema whenever I watch tragic movies. Hmmm! The level of suffering and poverty of people I see everyday around the world, I can’t stand it. I personally attribute the suffering of people to political selfishness of our leaders and their endless greed. Religious crisis is not exempted.

A million and one questions going on at the same time and I find myself seeking for answers .Most times in order not to worry so much , I have learnt to accept some of them and just believe its fate or how things are meant to be. My heart is heavy most times , I try to live to the best of my believes and by my faith .Not wanting to ask too many questions , worry or think so much but I still find myself doing just that.

As a person, I am God fearing to the core,and am from a christain family but I find it difficult to obey all his commandments . Nevertheless, I’m only human. I even find it hard to direct some questions to God because of the guilt of not obeying his words but, is that completely necessary? What if I’m not a Christian, will I be judged? This is where my question arose from. I ask myself, what if I was born into a Muslim family? The kind of practicing Muslim family. What if I grew up knowing only Allah and reading nothing but the Quran? If I never had access to publicity and never heard about Christianity and I died on the run? What then is the fate of my soul? You may also view it the other way round.

I am not trying to start a religious war here, just writing as it comes to my mind. Now, I try not to dwell on such questions but spend more time doing what I believe in and the way I was also brought up. I still keep asking if I am giving excuses or maybe deep down, I truly want to know the answer. Is it right for me to think this way or am I sinning knowing that as a Christian I shouldn’t nurture such thoughts? My intention to contribute to helping the world is giving me the courage to take the risk. Sin? God knows best.

About four years ago, precisely on the 25th of December, 2009, the whole world woke up to the sad tale of Umar Farouk Abdulmuttalab, a 24-year-old Nigerian who attempted to blow up a plane in America. He failed and was arrested and charged with terrorist activities. It was said then that as a young boy of 17years, he had been recruited and indoctrinated by a terrorist group in Yemen before being sent to perform the despicable act in the United States.

I pondered long and hard over the incident at the time and was eventually compelled to somehow, make some justifications for his action. I thought of the inveigling and the damage to his innocent mind. I wondered then, whether many of the people condemning him would not have done the same under his circumstance.
Presently, the wanton destruction of lives across the globe on religious grounds has not ceased to baffle me. As usual, I have tried to find an explanation for such acts. I think the solution is obvious. I want us to have it at the back of our mind that regardless of the religion you practice, your character and attitude towards others determines what become of you . That’s my thought anyway.

There should never be a justification for religious crises. The logic is simple: we are not responsible for our religious inclinations. Ninety-two percent of people did not choose their own religion, they had it thrust on them by their parents or guardian or the society where they were bred. Only about five percent of adults practice a religion different from that into which they were raised and three percent have no religion at all. So what justification can there be for molesting another person for practicing his own religious belief? Should a man be hated for being short or ugly or black? Certainly not. Philosophers say the mind of a child is like a clean slate at birth (tabular rasa). Whatever is inscribed on it stays for life. Some things are bigger than us, religion is one of them. How can we foster unity among people of different religious inclinations?

As we grow older, we get to make our choices in life as we come across them. Only if we are fortunate to come across them.I urge people that has intention of making good impact on human race to see this write up as a piece from the good heart of a humble soul.

Feel free to contribute to this in various ways with tangible points to enlighten people.
Let me just include that I stand corrected anytime and would be nice to share your honest opinion about the topic!

Iyanda

Touching lives

I wake up most times full of life, ready to go , happy and looking forward to a new day which I start of by thanking God for seeing me through the night. I begin my daily duties and bury myself into various assignments that I must carry out. As each day comes to an end, I usually, begin to have such feeling that I am yet, unfulfilled. I keep seeing myself as someone who hasn’t tried his best especially for people that are in need.

Just as the day wears out, I am filled with thoughts, worries and anxiety over what I have, want and need to do even though I try to follow my to do list of the day. My thoughts are clouded about things and people that mean the world to me, thinking of what difference I could make in their lives.

I try as much as possible to speak to people I meet daily with words of encouragement, advising them in the little way I can. But is that really enough, I keep asking myself. What can I do better to help people, touch lives and make a difference? That’s just what my mind yeans for .Even though I have some ideas yet, I find myself caught up in my own world. Trying so hard to make it in life, be successful, financially stable and also where does the balance come in as an individual?

I keep asking myself “what can I do better?” “What service can I render to people around me to make them a better people?” This is all I want to do but how? I find it difficult to do what my heart wants because I am so drown in my own waters that I can’t see other people. I feel I haven’t met all my own needs so I put others aside till I’m through with myself. When exactly will I be through with my own self?

I’m sure you think I’m selfish. I’ve also thought of that too. Am I really selfish? Can I, out of my tight and busy schedule squeeze time to help others out? I reasoned deep and I’m out with a conclusion that I can actually help people even if I have to make a little sacrifice. Am I even strong enough to shelf some of my goals too and touch lives the way I would like to. Hmmm! life o life, the questions keep coming. I just know I need to help people.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not just about financial help I am talking about. I just wonder why I am not so committed to doing simple things like helping the needy or less privileged to accomplish simple things. My main excuse is like my time is not even enough for me.

I got this bbm chat from a friend recently and I like to share the excerpt with you. it goes thus: ‘I have been receiving this BC from a couple of folks and I think it’s worth sharing…that your neighbour, whose children go to school with torn uniforms that cost only 5k, have you changed it for them? That your friend who just flashed you because he didn’t have N20 airtime, have you sent N200 airtime to him? That your office colleague who didn’t go for lunch today because he is broke, did you share your lunch with him? Those numerous shirts in your wardrobe that you have not touched for the past one year, have you given all of them out to people who will wear them every day? Because it had be the only one they have got? That girl that sells recharge card to you every day, do you even know her name? Do you know your gateman may not have taken his bath with soap this morning because he couldn’t afford to buy N30 lux? ….’’ It ended by saying ‘…help someone today’.

I find this chat very instructive indeed. I have always prided myself as being a giver. In fact, I feel a sense of satisfaction each time I make someone happy through a kind deed. I know that I stand no chance of winning a prize for the most generous personality in the universe (if there was any prize like that). Yet, I am always compassionate enough to help people in need, if I can afford to.
But just how far can one go to help people and touch their lives. I know of people who will give their last kobo to someone in need even if it means they themselves go hungry. Bill gates at the instance of losing world richest man status has given out an estimated 28 billion dollars to charity. That is more than one third of his total fortune. Yes, you might say he has the money. But how many rich men today can afford to give out even ten percent of their fortune? Well, I know I can hardly do a fraction of what he has done given his means. That is why, each time I read of such deeds (and challenges like that of the bbm chat), I cannot help but see my selfishness accentuated. Do you find yourself in this position too? Where you feel like doing more, but lack the will to do, because you think you have your own needs to meet.
It has now gotten to a stage where I don’t know if I’m being too hard on myself.

Have I done just enough that I didn’t realize it? No! I haven’t done anything. No wonder I envy the great people who are brave enough to make impact in the lives of people even at the expense of their wealth. Some even sacrifice with all their power and energy for people to benefit from them. Can I be like those people? I’m sure I can. The question is how can I?

We are all guilty. We are too busy to visit our sick relative in the hospital, too tired to pray for others, too laid back to speak kind words to those who are down, too judgmental to encourage those who have made terrible mistakes and too preoccupied with our own thoughts to smile to a stranger who needs love.

Just how far can you go to touch someone’s life? Share your honest opinion.

IYANDA.

SOURCE :www.iyandasidary.com

Dear Readers,

Cry Of A Lonely Heart

Loneliness is not about being alone in one corner of the world with no one around you. Although, it is part of it. Loneliness is not about being caught alone in an action that many were involved. It’s just an inch close to it. You may be anxious as to know what loneliness actually means to me.
There are times in life that you feel troubled. There are periods in life that all you need do to put your heart at peace is to lean on someone. A problem shared is half way solved, so they say. But, when you are willing to share a problem and you encounter the problem of whom to share it with, you are lonely.
That is exactly my case as I write this short article. I feel that if I am able to share my worries with Iyanda readers, I may be eased off the heavy thoughts that have consumed my spirit. Who knows, I might be able to live happily again.
I am an orphan. I had lived all my life hoping that one day I make my parents happy wherever they are. In order to make them happy, I knew I must be successful in life no matter what. Even if it cost me doing it in an unacceptable way. I wanted to fulfil my parent’s last wish before they died.
I finished my secondary school education a year before both my parents died in a car accident that took many lives. My mother could have saved herself some minutes before the car exploded. Instead, she pushed me out through the window which could have been her escape route insisting that I must live. My father at his own end died instantly.
No day has passed since then without me thinking of my parents and how terribly they died. Most importantly how my mother saved my life. For that reason, I saw the importance of staying alive and making headway at all costs.
At first, I stayed with one of my aunts who maltreated me a lot. According to her, it was not necessary for me to go to school. I pondered over the reason why she had wickedly stopped me from going to school. After all, she was a rich woman. I couldn’t find the right answer for that so I decided to do it my own way.
I stole a huge amount of money from her safe box and absconded with it. With that money, I went to rent a house close to a university in Port Harcourt. I did that because I have always had the intention of going to university of Port Harcourt. I immediately paid to some people to help me runs the admission into that school and immediately, I was admitted. I lived well without anyone’s help thanks to my aunt’s money which was depreciating fast.
As soon as I was through with my first year, the money I stole was all gone so I had to think of another way to raise money for myself. I never wanted to sell myself out to men in order to get money so; I did it my own way for another time. After all, I thought I was smart.
I decided to go into prostitution without letting any man have sex with me. It is funny isn’t it? It was possible for me to do that because of several tricks I had spinning in my head. Whenever a man for that job, I will give him my rules that I don’t like to have sex when I’m tired. I will plead with him to let me rest for a while and during that time; I’ll keep myself busy by watching out for where he keeps his cash. Then, that will be my next target. And the moment I lay my hand on it, I will be gone like the wind.
It was like magic, it worked really well for me. And throughout my stay in school, I lived like the daughter of the president. And I was contented with myself because I believed my parents will be happy seeing their smart daughter live happily. I had a lot of valuables ,courtesy of my captives who will not be able to find me anywhere.
There was nothing else left for me to do except to find a man to head me. So, I decided to quit my job since I had a lot of business fetching me money. e.
I was about thirty years old when I met the man of my choice. He was the only child of a popular senator. We were so into each other that we had to hasten up our marriage. He took me to his parents and nemesis caught up with me.
There was a man I duped with close to a million naira. I never knew he was a senator. If I had known, I wouldn’t have had anything to do with any senator’s son knowing that I might be in danger. Prior to the issue of that man, I had always been careful enough to know the identity of my customers. I guess the senator was one of the few instances of people who hid their real identity and I was doomed because of that.
The senator totally disagreed with our marriage but, he didn’t give any reason because of the presence of his wife. That was the moment I realised that the life I lived was not a life to live. If I had known that life isn’t all about money, I would have made a different choice.
I had no friends because I didn’t want to. That was because of the life I lived. I wouldn’t have succeeded with friends around me. I wish I can go back to my aunt who seems to be the only family member that I know of but, shame wouldn’t let me. Who is left for me to turn to? Now, I live my life with fear of not bumping into others that have hurt so much in my hands.
Dear readers, what should I do with my life? Or has it been totally shattered?

SOURCE :www.iyandasdiary.com

Should I Go On With The Wedding Despite Our Genotype Mismatch?

I've always heard of stories like this in time past, and I was really quick to say they should never get married, now I'm in such dilemma and I do not think I'm ready to let go.

Love is the greatest force on earth, as far as I am concerned and I don’t want to believe that it cannot conquer this barrier.

I met my fiancé at the NYSC camp in Bayelsa, at that time I thought it wasn’t going to last long enough before we went our separate ways, but as time went by, our love grew stronger.

After service he proposed to me, and without thinking I said yes. We began preparation for the whole wedding, and we informed the elders in the church.

They asked us to do a series of medical tests which we did, but to our shock, we found out that we are medically incompatible, and the chance of survival of our children would be so slim as I am AS and he is SS.

But he’s been healthy all the while, falling ill just three times in the year, I thought to myself.

Now we are being advised to break everything up, and I'm not ready for this. At this point we have resorted to prayers, but I'm still a bit confused.

What should I do?

SOURCE :www.iyandasdiary.com

Where was my self esteem?

Dear ID readers,

I used to be a victim of inferiority complex. I used to think that other people are superior over me. I can simply tell you that I suffered a lot from egoism disease.
I thank God today for healing me from the supposed disease. I want to share my part of story so that people who are still suffering from it can be cured.

Looking at me physically, I am far from what they call pretty. In addition, I’m also from a poor background. My family lived in abject poverty and through that, I managed to be educated at all costs.

Due to my background and facial look, I get easily intimidated. I don’t pass my boundary but, people tend to frustrate and make jest of me. I accommodate all forms of trash that people throw at me because I couldn’t face them to challenge them. I was ugly and poor. What mouth do I have? I didn’t witness anything until I got to the university.

If I go here, I see beautiful girls. If I go there, I see pretty girls. I looked totally different from them so, I never tried to be friends to them. Although, I studied hard and had good results. But, it couldn’t have been so if my looks weren’t that pitiful. But, since I had no choice, I studied all day and made best of results.

There was a period during my final year when the most outstanding student was to be sent abroad for masters. Apparently, I was the most outstanding but, I was surprised as another student name was announced. Some classmates were surprised as well. The class was then turned into a confused scenario and many were eager to know why I was cheated.

Soon, rumour started spreading that my position was chanced because of my looks. They said further that the student who they gave the scholarship was the one next to me. That student was a handsome looking guy who was also intelligent and outspoken. He was given because he could also express himself well unlike me who couldn’t defend herself anywhere.

I felt so bitter. How could life be so cruel? I was denied the scholarship when I was undisputedly the best student in class. I wanted to fight for my right. They had no right whatsoever to give it to someone who didn’t have the best grades. But, I couldn’t defend myself because of the fear that they may also end up mocking me because of my looks. I also silently wondered how someone as ugly as I am could actually grant the scholarship so I gave it up.

Not only that, there was also a so called big girl in my class then. She stepped on my foot one fateful day with her pencil healed shoe. It pierced a little through my skin before she realized she had stepped on someone. She was about to apologize when she realized that it was I. She then turned back and started moving forward. I wanted to call her back angrily to make her apologize as blood was coming out from my foot.

I quickly remembered the kind of shoes I was wearing and decided to let her go. The shoes were tattered and old fashioned. If I called her back and demand for an apology, people around would unconsciously look at the leg that has been stepped upon and so would see my tattered shoes.

I didn’t want any mockery from anyone so I kept quiet. I was being treated like an invalid. That was why that girl didn’t feel the need to say sorry. She would have said it if it was somebody else.

I bitterly narrated the incident to my poor mother when I got home. She angrily despised me and made me feel sadder. She told me to use the boy who wore a coat of many colours to school. His mother made the coat from pieces of rags due to poverty.

Despite that his friends were mocking him; he saw his coat as the most expensive among all of them. He even argued with the people mocking him that all their coats are not as worthy as his. He was proud of it and no one could harass him further.
Ever since that day, I’d decided to live my life being proud of myself. I lost so many things due to my inferiority complex but, I won’t let that happen any longer. Now, I see myself as the most beautiful thing God ever created. If I can see myself like that, anyone who thinks otherwise if of no importance to me.

Dear ID readers, please learn from my story. Don’t cheat and don’t be cheated. Say no to inferiority complex


SOURCE :www.iyandasdiary.com

Dear readers,

I had wanted to share my experience with you a long time ago but, I think this may just be the right time for me to do so. My wedding is in two weeks time and I am in a confused mode hoping that with your help I may get over it.

I used to be in love with Dapo but, as fate will have it, things went the way I couldn’t control. To be honest with you, Dapo still remains the man I love most in my life.

Dapo is from a rich and God fearing home. He is not arrogant and annoying like other rich men’s son. Back then in school, he knew what he was doing and studied well. He used to be one of the best students in our department and my attention was drawn to him because of that.

Unlike every other girl, I walked up to him and told him how I felt about him. I told him that if he’ll accept me, I’d like to be his girlfriend. He frankly declined and I felt terrible. He told me that I wasn’t his type and that I shouldn’t be offended. It took me a lot of courage and rehearsal to walk up to him and since he declined, what am I supposed to do?

You might be thinking that I have no pride. I wouldn’t say you are wrong. I may not have pride but, I don’t settle for anything. I settle for the best. To me then, Dapo was the best. No other man appealed to me. I felt humiliated and horrible but, I summoned courage to attend classes knowing that he might have exposed me to his friends. But, to my uttermost dismay, I didn’t hear it from anyone, not even my female classmates who like to carry rumours about the school.

I didn’t give any other man a chance till my final year. It was because I didn’t meet with a man of my choice. The time came that finalists were to have a get- together and award winning party. I actually declined from going because I wasn’t used to going to parties. But I changed my mind because several people had been coming to meet me that I will be given the award for the most promising student.

Silently, I thought of the award as an avenue for me to feel important in front of Dapo who has totally dissed me as nothing some years ago. So, I changed my mind and got ready for the party. I put in place the best clothe I had. Although, it wasn’t party- like but, who cares? My status was going to be increased anyway so, I felt no puzzle.

The day came and I was announced as the most promising student. I went proudly to retrieve my award and my friends flocked the stage with cheers. I was happy. I was asked to dance and I did dance like an amateur not minding the crowd. By that time, my friends who danced with me were gone and I was asked to give a little speech to the audience. I gave a shy speech and as I was about to hand over the microphone, I saw the shock of my life.

Dapo was the one who collected the microphone from me. For a moment, I pondered over his intentions to have showed up so suddenly behind me. I innocently thought he had come to blackmail me before the people that have hyped me. And believe me, members of other faculties were present and the atmosphere was intense.

Within a second, I had thought of how terrible I’ll feel after the outburst from Dapo. I felt I had stayed too long after handing over the microphone so I managed to free one leg in anticipation to start moving. But, to my surprise, Dapo drew me back and made me to face him.

He shamelessly knelt down before me and proposed his love for me. According to him, he confessed he had not met with any lady as brave and decent as me. He pleaded with me to be his girlfriend and if I refused, he won’t stand up.

I could hear the crowd shouting that I should accept. Tears rolled down from my eyes and for another time, I threw away my pride and hugged him. That was my reply to his proposal and the crowd started jubilating.

Soon after, we graduated and Dapo travelled out of the country for his masters. He made me promise not to have any other man till he comes back and I did. He also promised not to let me down and I believed. But, when he left, things changed and he stopped calling me. I wanted to keep my promise so I wasn’t shaken. Although, I like to be pampered by a man but, I stood strong. You can’t always get what you want all the time.

Two years later, I managed to collect his number from his cousin that I used to know back in school. We bumped into each other one fateful day. I called Dapo on that number and told him I was the one. I accused him of not getting in touch with me and cried onto him. But, all he could tell me was to wait a little bit more that he was not ready. I banged the call on me and I immediately felt depressed. I decided then to give another man a try even if it costs not loving him. i wasn’t getting younger and I must act fast. So, I met Biodun.

No one ever showed me the kind of love that Biodun showed me in this world. I can only compare it with that of my parents. But, no matter how I tried to love him back, it just wouldn’t work. The time came for me to marry and so I settled for him since he was more than willing. We fixed a date in advance and both families had started to prepare in earnest.

Now, the wedding is in two weeks time and I suddenly got a call from an unknown number. Alas! It was Dapo. He told me he’s back for me and I was dumbfounded. I don’t know what to do.

Am I to cancel my wedding to Biodun who has loved me with his life? Or am I to marry him out of pity and let Dapo out of my life. If I do that, I may not have the opportunity to love again. What if I settle for Dapo? Can I be sure that he‘ll love me as much?

What should I do dear readers?

SOURCE :www.iyandasdiary.com

Dear readers,

I am married with three kids. I have a good and God fearing husband. In fact, you wouldn’t be more proud of a husband. He is just one of a kind and I wish we could last forever until recently that it dawned on me that my marriage is at stake.

My husband used to be the manager of a popular bank in Nigeria. During this period, I was still in my 100level in the university. He gave me a lot of support back then and because of him, I was able to live large among my friends.
Some of them often try so hard to get his attention but, he was so into me that he didn’t give in to any of them. He made me happy and I was so proud of him.

Despite the storms and squalls that tripped in along the way, we were determined to be together so, we overcame it.
Time flew and I graduated with a second class upper. I felt so fulfilled that I swore not to start any work that offers me less than 150,000 naira for a start as a fresh graduate with a second class upper credit.

I stood by my slogan and I was eventually employed with a monthly pay of 200,000 naira. I felt on top of the world and my husband was happy for me.

We felt that we were ripe for marriage and we settled for it. We had a son soon after our wedding and we all lived happily. Our son went to one of, if not the best school in the neighbourhood. Soon after, I got pregnant again. It was then that I experienced the first moment of sadness in our home.

My husband came back home on that fateful day and broke the news to me that he has been sacked from work. He further explained that there was a huge amount of money missing in the bank which he could not account for. According to him, the withdrawal of that cash was signed by him. but, he swore with God that he didn’t know anything about it. I believed him though but, nothing could have been done so we left everything to God.

Pending the time that my husband was jobless, I made sure the house was balanced. When I gave birth to our second daughter, it was I who took responsibility for the naming ceremony but, nobody knew about it. And whenever I received my salary, I share it into two and give him one part.

I helped a great deal in finding the new job he got shortly after the naming of our daughter. They were paying him 50,000 naira monthly. It was the highest offer so far so he had to take it anyway. And with that, I stopped sharing my own salary with him. After all, he had his own was what I thought. But, I didn’t stop all the support I render at home for any reason. I thought I was a good woman.

Recently, I started noticing my husband’s change in attitude. I tried to understand that he may be frustrated but, it wasn’t helping. He started missing some nights out and all of a sudden stopped making love to me. Whenever our kids ask him for something, he’ll frankly tell them to go to their mum. “After all, she’s the breadwinner of the family.” My husband would say.

Now, I feel very uncomfortable in the house. I even tried to ask him where I have gone wrong but, he doesn’t even pay attention to me anymore. I feel terrible right now and I don’t know what to do.

Dear Iyanda readers, please help me out. Should I quit my job or just maintain it and watch my marriage cramp?

SOURCE :www.iyandasdiary.com

Dear Readers,

I'm four years Older than my Fiance

Age is nothing but a number, hmmm how true?

I met Soji barely two years now, and the chemistry in class was really obvious. Apart from the fact that we were the best students in class, we also liked similar things, and naturally we bonded.

For a year, we went about as friends and reading partners, but along the line we fell in love and we started dating officially.

As things got serious and we began sharing some more intimate and personal things I got to know that I am four years older than my fiancé.

Wow, how come I never remembered to discuss this issue in the beginning? Was I blinded by my emotions?

My fear is this, if I get married to him and all the stress of motherhood comes in, and my body begins to look down, he wouldn’t find me attractive anymore, and would begin to look out, which of course I wouldn’t want.I am also worried about what his family would say when they find out i am four good years older than him.

But I love him and he doesn’t care, what should I do?

Dear Readers,
I happen to find myself in a terrible situation . My parents who i love so much and have the ultimate respect for have threatened to disown me and make sure that none of the family members attend the wedding or even associate with me ever again if I go on and get married to the love of my life who happens to be a Hausa man.
My parents happen to be strict christian and church elders.We were brought up to the God fearing, love people no matter the race or religion. .I was totally shocked when they told me that i couldn’t get marrried to my fiance because he is Hausa .
I told my parents, because he is from the north doesn’t make him a Boko Haram, but they would not listen. I tried to explain that he is from a royal home in Kano, and moreover we met in the states, and he is not capable of such evil act, but they still refused to consent.
They sighted the example of the ‘Mutalab guy’ and said they will not as much as trust any Hausa person again.How shallow can they be but I’m determined to damn the consequences and stick to this guy.
I’m not ready to trade my love for my parents’ perception.
Am I making a wise decision?

Dear Readers ,

This is one question that has been on my mind for quite a while now. The Bible makes mention of women to be treated as the weaker vessels, but are they the weaker vessels or are the men weaker? A sect say, ‘what a man can do, a woman can do better’. I’m really beginning to reconsider it, you know.
Known as The Cocaine Godmother, Griselda Blanco was one of the most brutal and notorious drug lords in the history of the cocaine trade.
After a violent upbringing that was strung together by a series of criminal acts, Griselda eventually found her way into the cocaine business where she played a key role in what would become known as the Cocaine Cowboy Wars of the 1970s and 1980s in Miami.
Blanco was well known for ordering brutal assassinations when warring with other drug lords and for running her business even while serving prison terms throughout her life.
After being deported to Colombia, she spent the remainder of her days plying her trade until she was shot twice in the head by a gunman riding a motorcycle on September 3, 2012.
This is just one example out of the whole lots, and sure the men need no introduction.
So … what’s your take?

SOURCE :www.iyandasdiary.com

Dear readers.

Growing up .I’d always been the ‘shy guy’, the last to voice my opinion on issues, or at times never even voice them.
The only time I summoned courage to pour out my heart was when I met my wife and knew I had to say something, if not I was going to loose her, though I didn’t entirely say it all, she knew what I meant and saved me the ‘stress’.
All the while we dated we were always out at clubs, eateries, movies, we never really ate in, and it never bothered me at that point if my lady could work her fingers in the kitchen or not, because I was just blinded by love.
It was barely two weeks into our marriage that I noticed that my wife isn’t the best of chefs, to say the truth, a bad cook.
I’ve been stylishly lying about having a bad appetite and so I never eat much, I just make sure I eat out before I get home.
But as we clock a year in marriage, it looks like I can’t hold it anymore. That’s where I have troubles; I don’t know how to tell her she is just not a good cook.
How do I let her know this?

SOURCE : www.iyandasdiary.com

Dear readers,

It is said that a leopard never changes its spots, and this saying defines my story.
Determined not to cheat on my girlfriend in my first year in the University of Ilorin, I resolved to going regularly to church, but being that I was not the Church person, it wore off sooner than later, and I went back to cheating.
All this while I thought to myself that when I truly found the person I love, I wouldn’t cheat anymore, but I have just proven my thought wrong.
The day I met Stephanie still remains the best day of my life, we instantly connected, and wow, I loved her on the spot!
I made sure the whole wedding process was sped up and we got married. Somewhere in my head, I thought to myself that now I have the most beautiful treasure in the Universe, I would stop sleeping with anything in skirt and blouse.
I was clean for a whole month after our wedding, and that seemed like 45 years, I was really happy because I passionately love Stephanie, with all of my heart.
My boss at the office got a new secretary, and before long I began to notice she was so beautiful and thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to try her out. It took me only three weeks and I had my way with her, but it didn’t stop there, I got attracted to other ladies along the way and the bad news is that they always fall for me.
I can’t help myself, after trying therapies, trying to put up a straight face at work or when I’m out, in short doing a whole lot, but nothing seems to work.
The good ting is that my wife doesn’t know about this yet, because I’m quite careful, but I have a filling I’m living on borrowed time.
What must I do to stop this?

SOURCE :www.iyandasdiary.com

I’m Bimpe, the third child of my parents, and I come from a broken home.

I tried to manage through the negative effect of seeing my parent’s marriage fall apart as a young girl and always vowed to do any and every thing possible for mine to be a success.

As time went by I began to get a clearer picture of why my parent’s marriage didn’t pull through. I discovered that my mother was sleeping around, not just with her age mates but also with really young guys and my dad couldn’t take it anymore after series of complaints and fights.

My resolve to keeping my home intact is already being threatened as my mother needs a place to stay as she is about to be thrown out by her landlord over non payment of her rent.

At the moment, my husband and I cannot afford to foot such bill, but he is almost insisting that my mother comes to stay with us for the time being, while we try to get her sorted out.

My husband doesn’t know why I am not buying the idea, but it is for our good, because I know the kind of mother I have, I can almost say that at some point she may seduce him and, who knows if he is at his weakest ebb at that point, we would be talking about another thing. (My mother still looks hot, by the way).

Now I don’t know if to let her in or tell my husband about my mother’s “capabilities” or to keep insisting blindly and don’t tell him so he doesn’t entirely hate her and begin to suspect me at some point?

What should I do?

SOURCE : www.iyandasdiary.com