I Married For Money-Now I Am Filled With Regrets!

I was brought up not enjoying some of those things people of my age enjoyed. I used a pair of shoes for years, patched my school skirts on different places, and shared a bottle of coke with my sister. My dad did his best in his own little way, but we wished things were different from what they were. My parents did love each other no doubt; but they had their terrible moments. Who says money is not relevant in terms of building a happy home? My dad gave my mum all the affections and love a woman could ever ask for; but not so when it came to providing the best things money could buy.

Who says you can’t have it all; money, love, and happiness? That was exact question my mum asked me the very day I completed my secondary education in Aba. She advised me not to marry based on love alone because she no longer considered that to be enough in marriage. She advised me to be careful when choosing a man to settle down with as my happiness in the future depended heavily on taking the right decisions. I didn’t ignore her words that morning, and moved swiftly to ask God to bring me the man that would provide all I needed to be happy my way.

From then on, every man that came my way was viewed from material perspective alone. It had to be money or what you can provide before love. Love didn’t matter much because it won’t guarantee or put food on my table when I wake up in the morning or before I go to bed every night. Love did sustain my parents for over twenty years; but not without fighting over money for food, clothes, and other domestic necessities.

My wish or prayer for a rich husband did come to pass as my parents eventually gave my hand in marriage to Okechukwu a few years after my mum asked me that question. Though, my dad was a bit sceptical about the man I wanted to get married to at first; my mum was able to convince him. Okechukwu and I got married and immediately relocated to Port Harcourt where he continued his business (he sells auto spare parts).

Okechukwu was unable to complete his secondary education before dropping out of school; but this was not a problem for me at first. I just wanted a man who could provide for my basic needs, and extend a hand of benevolence to my parents as well; and I found one in him. Well, I also didn’t conclude my education because I didn’t go back for my HND program due to lack of money. My parents were able to extract a promise from my husband that he would help me complete my education as soon as we settled down.

He did fulfil his promise though, as he successfully secured a place for me to start my HND program. However, securing me a place in the polytechnic didn’t come on a platter as my husband insisted that I had to go to school everyday with his sister hanging around the school premises to watch and track my movements. He did this because of some of the stories flying around about how undergraduate live their lives while on campus.

It got to a stage when I couldn’t take it anymore and had to complain. He said I either do it his own way or forget about going to school again. Finally I bowed to his wish and continued to going to school with an escort; but that was only the beginning of things to come.
The problem with my husband is that he is way too jealous and is always on my case because he feels that my decision to return to school is a threat to him as a man. Things are beginning to get out of hand because even with all the beautiful furniture, nice and quiet apartment, and cosy environment; there is nothing to be happy about. I can’t go out on my own I can’t make or receive calls without my husband getting jealous, and I can’t even spend a few minutes longer than necessary without having to face a panel at home. I am 4 months pregnant as I write this; and yet my husband treats me like a nobody just because he can’t seem to tame his jealousy.

My fear is, if Okechukwu is doing all these now that I am still in my first semester of HND1; what happens when I graduate and want to go for my youth service? My husband calls my family all sought of names because he feels he spent above his expectations during our traditional marriage. I am just fed up, and I feel like running away from this slavery that is called marriage.

Dear readers, please what should I do? I know I had a have a hand in what is happening to me; but is there nothing I can do to bring peace, love, and happiness to my home? Please I need your advice.


SOURCE ;www.iyandasdiary.com

Sometimes money can't buy peace of mind

Hmm. I sympathise with you dear. But, uv made ur bed, u have to lie on it. Still, could it be that der are certain things u do dat provoke ur husband's jealousy? You need to constantly reassure your husband that you are his and his alone. May God give you wisdom. If you are a xtian, prayers will go a long way. Whatever happens, try and make d best of what ur experiencing.

Money is not everything and xperience remains the best tutor, had it been that sm1 advised you against ur wish earlier, u would have been enemies with the person...its for better for worse so my advice is that u draw closer to God and tell him what you want cos he's the only1 that can do all things...goodluck!

The truth is u must stay with him afterall, was it not ur dream to marry a very wealthy man......?

Okechukwu has come to stay, no excape for u....

@Post

Life is too short to be miserable. Divorce his a55 and move on with your life. Next time, open your eyes before leaping into marriage because the grass is not always greener on the other side as you have now found out.

white mosquito: Hmm. I sympathise with you dear. But, uv made ur bed, u have to lie on it. Still, could it be that der are certain things u do dat provoke ur husband's jealousy? You need to constantly reassure your husband that you are his and his alone. May God give you wisdom. If you are a xtian, prayers will go a long way. Whatever happens, try and make d best of what ur experiencing.

Its not correct to say she did something to provoke his jealousy. A person come in a relationship with their own personal bad experience and thereby insecurities. So she is not responsible.

OP, all I can tell you is that its gets worst. You cannot change your husband. His insecurities are way too much. This type of love can kill you o. Don't say I didn't warn you when you are sleeping in your casket

You know you made a mistake

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wrong choice. So the advice that you should be requesting from us is, " How do I leave my husband"

When there is a lack of trust and too much insecurities in any relationship, it cannot survive, no matter what resuscitation measures you come up with. It gets worst. Trust is the foundation/basis of it all.

Device a plan on how you will leave him with little financial difficulty.
I feel for the guy though for wasting his precious time on you, when he could have met his perfect mate. But everything happen for a reason.

Your husband is a businessman.... I don't even see his actions as being jealous but as protecting you...his investment. I guess he married you because saw something about you that he liked...or just needed a wife and you presented yourself. In this relationship you never mentioned love...nor anything that would make us believe there is love in the home.... hmmm..... house/mansion. Now pregnant and still no sign of you trying to see if you can accept him as a husband. If he is already a jealous person...and insecure...you complaining of being watched by his sister only made matters worse since he would be convinced that you are up to something.I suggest you two have a talk about the future...try to make the marriage work... and just be committed and disregard whatever security measures he may take. It will take a while for him to trust you.

Everybody have a cross to carry and that was the one you choose so carry it deligently.

1.You are not the 1st gold-digger in town and you won’t be the last, most gals are and your story is a testament that mothers are the architect of what ladies turn out to be in life. It’s shocking that mother didn’t pass on what they learnt from their own mums to the next generation and it might go on like that until our values and morals finally decay.

2.If you don’t have any skeleton in your cupboard, why should it bother you that your husband is trailing you? The fact that you are disturbed means you have something to explain. Trust is earned, not deserved. You probably have betrayed his trust and have a lot to prove. The eggs are in your basket, what will you do with them.

3.This is almost the way most marriages turn out to be, fantasy at first, reality later.

4.It is no gainsaying that most gals marry for convenience, all a gal looks out for is convenience and the level of convenience.

5.Now to the question, you ask what you can do; convince this guy you are trust worthy, shikena, and pray very well, thats all

When the foundation is not right it's just a matter of time when the building starts crumbling.

Lol..........All Girl are the Same, never Contented..........Devil Catch you....

I like the fact that u know that u brought this upon yrself. Live with it&hope for the best,unless u want a divorce.

Ur mum gave u d initial advice, so go bak to her nw for advice, marry 4love, una no de hear***

shei... My sis. I pity u ooooo,but alwalys pray to God,i believe dat there is No situation he can not handle or make a way...JUST BE PRAYERFUL To GOD....nd God will change him To Ur satisfaction....

sweetestguy: Ur mum gave u d initial advice, so go bak to her nw for advice, marry 4love, una no de hear***

actually its a bad idea to marry for love. compatibility is better.

You sound like a really young girl that still wants to have fun and mingle with guys at school, otherwise you'd understand your husband's jealousy and refrain from doing anything to make him jealous or even suspicious so he can be at ease with you, right now you are reaping the repercussions of the bad deeds other women have done to their men and your husband does not fully trust you yet, in fact arguing or resisting his decisions that deter you from keeping male friends only increase his suspicions and distrust. I would advice you to not listen to your female friends or women without a successful marriage till today for their advice, they will lead you astray and destroy your marriage, when loneliness, guilt and hardship set in your eyes will be clear. I won't judge you for choosing your life partner based on his money, but that is an irreversible mistake and there should be common sense to tell you a man that is ready made by himself can never trust a woman, he will always think they will leave when he has no money and their love is a lie, this is the case with all self made men, they will look at you like the cheap girls they are used to attracting very easily with flashy things. They are unforgiving. His monitoring you is well within his rights as annoying as it is because you are his woman, don't attempt to divorce him for a silly reason like him being full of jealousy, or distrust, if you walk out the marriage you are destroying the gift God gave you when he answered your prayers, and he will not give you another opportunity to break another innocent man's heart, you will be single for life or you will have to settle for what ever kind of man will accept you knowing you cannot maintain a commitment, walking out the marriage is the biggest mistake you can ever make. Accept that you are now a married woman who's duty is to satisfy and care for her husband and make sure you change your heart into one that will please him, don't let him see you looking sad or uneasy because of his love and jealousy or he will be affected emotionally too and will never trust you. Face forward and build a future with your man and don't look back at the things single women do, you have crossed that bridge already, don't go back or you will lose what you prayed for, you are not losing out on anything right now, in reality you have a treasure the devil wants to use your emotions to steal from you.

For you to be successful in life always have someone to heap your failure on. In this case blame your mother

I see nothing wrong in what ur husband does. You are just a girl with selfish intentions, I think he married an ingrate.

thank God u find the man of ur dream, u must look for a way to find happiness within urself, like in the scool pls dont make any friend either male or female just be on ur own, follow his advice, u may think his caging u but no he love u nd does'nt want to lose u. always listen to him, now u may feel so frustrated but its tym, try to give him two or three children he must stop all that things he's doing, as long as he's not molesting u.