₦airaland Forum

forkadict:
FORK ADDICT'S PRESS BRIEFING ON HIS RELEASE FROM JAIL.

First things first, I would like to seize this opportunuity to recognize and thank the people that identified with the struggle to secure my release from incarceration. I deeply appreciate yall from the deepest recess of my soul. But for yall and the solidarity, I would have languished in the prison till 1st DECEMBER 2014.

Prominent activists in the movement are @The Amaka, @Spade, @decanta, @Eustachio aka (Ochon), @maum, @thandii, @reincarnated, @kgr28, @Agbgift, @rusello, @shegxi, @sugarcoconut, @pseudome, @kirrs, @nigeriangirl, @shezy, @librate, @cestmoi1, @Captain Jason, @Orirebaby, @ToyinDipo, @dominique, @Worldpeace, @Forwetinnah @GHKwame1 @Youngwhy (pls pardon the spelling) and others that I may have ommitted their monikers, I just want to say a big thank you to each and everyone.

Just before I adjourne this briefing, please permit me to bore you a little about my experience in jail. It was HELL. I was locked up 23 hours a day. I was fed with only beans cooked with no salt, no oil and no pepper all thru my stay. The guards were all Alusa and Samantha fans. And to add salt to injury, they were all UNILAG graduates. Even worse was the fact that @Obinoscopy (personally addressed by me as OBOnoscopy), my Jailer who coincidentally is a UNILAG graduate gave strict instructions to the guards to make my sojourne a very miserable one. So I was done for ab initio.

Thank you very much once again. Now the predominant task before me at the moment is to try to bring myself up to speed on the thread. So i go back in time to dig up some posts that I couldnt respond to while i was behind bars. Be right back.


SIGNED,
EX-CONVICT FORK ADDICT.

[color=#000033] Kwasia! Welcome back.[/color]

cutemii:
Trouble u

Now u have come to wake sleeping dogs

[color=#000033]Troublemii I met the dogs awake, so I brought them along. [/color]

lertee:
You mentioned them like they are your favourite in a ceremony .

[color=#000033]Lol, nah. Not my fave. In a ceremony, I'll just go for rice; I don't run experiments with my stomach. It's my preciousssss. [/color]

lertee:
Tuwo or ewedu or zobo?
Do you get to eat all these in a ceremony?

[color=#000033]Looool, except rice, I don't know what peeps eat in a ceremony; not my thing. You tell me, do you get to eat all that in a ceremony? [/color]

cutemii:
Seen...hmmmmmm...niceeeeeeeeeee

But hope say u tall 4real no be that hair style dey promote ur height?

Cos I want to be blv the only dwarf we have here is Reincarnated

waxdude:
Hv said it b4 I'm not a 6footer nd nt a midget too ...,in btwn mbok... tnx

iphie25:
When I saw this I immediately dashed for my Tab...sent d msg and it worked!!! non stop voting 4baba T

[color=#000033]Hehehehe [/color]

ellab:
According to twitter peeps, Etisalat has decided to make voting for Tayo free.

Those with etisalat, text VOTE TAYO to 34350.

make una test am 1st o. I no dey sure of am.

[color=#000033]Tried. Worked. Trusted? Er... When I have lil cash in this SIM. I don't trust Etisalat promos.

Thanks, sweetie Ella [/color]

spade:
Guys, read this. It's a thread from another forum, created last year:

"What Happened To BradTheLadLong?"

[color=#000033]Lmfao! The last post sef... [/color]

Bradtheladlong:
Y'all say you want racism to end, but keep promoting it with your endless racist remarks. What does it matter if a white man's services is engaged in a black show? What happened to 'one word'? Like I said, I'm only here cos the organizers want me here. I'll be gone once I fulfil my contract obligations.

[color=#000033]Answer: letter L is missing in the context of that phrase.[/color]

Bradtheladlong:
nigga, you got a thing for names?

[color=#000033] [/color]

Eustachio:
You smell your "shortness/dwarfness."

Bradtheladlong:
oh, I see. I'm Bradley

[color=#000033]...Charles Cooper?[/color]

[color=#000033]Wait o, Baldone is a moniker.

Bwuhahahahahahahahaha *dies* Eustachio, is that you? [/color]

braindamage:
...Please come quickly...redeem the house and this thread from the ghost asylum it has turned itself...can't believe the whole day's updates have been about who has the latest shag tape.... But who really has that shag tape ?

[color=#000033]Hypocrisy. [/color]

Eustachio:
Na joke o.. That's how we joke around here. It's just like how sexy, slim & chocolatey Thandii1 likes cute, v-shaped Jeykllandhide.Jekyllandhyde. Just normal likeness.

[color=#000033]What do I smell? [/color]

lertee:
Just kidding jare,i'm always busy these days. I am doing some preparations.

[color=#000033]Lol, everyone don busy sha. It's time for me to grow up.
Preparations for tuwo or ewedu or zobo? [/color]

njokusboy:
If na last year, I for suspect god of music

[color=#000033]Asssin ehn, lmao. Giiyaz, where the hell are you, troll? [/color]

lertee:

When are we having another session?

[color=#000033]Anytime we're here. Say, weekend. Busy then?[/color]

Bradtheladlong:
you're what?

[color=#000033]Nemesis.[/color]

Bradtheladlong:
soon man. Soon!

[color=#000033]I am Brad ko, I am Bread ni. Smh! [/color]

Eustachio:
Stalker!!

[color=#000033]Mugger!! [/color]

Eustachio:
*dies* Buwahahahahahahahah.. Lord save me.

[color=#000033]lmao, Inuit, keep laughing. They will come for your bald head [/color]

Eustachio:
No nau.. I'm not like that. I have only two monikers.

How will I be liking my posts with over 10 monikers, I'm not dumb.



You are right.. It's just that I thought my "stalker" has arrived again..

Before the hackers attacked NL, I woke up one morning to find 70+ likes on my profile; I checked it only to find out that the "stalker" has liked ALL my diary updates (most have been hacked away) including my old posts. I was like "WTF?!!"


You will see my " " get liked..

My "nice post" reply to someone, liked..

My memes, get liked.. Even boring posts all got liked. I got scared.. Anyway na to ignore the liker.

[color=#000033]Which meme should I post for this lie?

How can one person like 70 posts of yours @ midnight? It must be that bent winzard from your village [/color]

cutemii:


Honestly the write up gave me serious headache

I suspect he/she is related to Bigeasu the Angolan

[color=#000033]kwakwakwakwa *falls inside Sapele water* Stop it, please. I'm gonna mistakenly pee on my body.[/color]

thandii1:
Buhahahahaha @ gun man pose picture
I should format that brain of yours bororo.

[color=#000033]Kikikiki. Your gun man pose pinshure or we don't believe your 5'11 claim.

Who's with me? [/color]

thandii1:
I know it's hard to believe not everyone is a midget like you, unfair life innit? . #team5'11

[color=#000033]Lol, remember I've seen your pinshures severally. Your 'gun man pose' pinshure summarizes your height as an eskimo, dear. [/color]

thandii1:
Yimu. If it was that scary, you'd have stopped posting or talking about it.

On a more serious note, It happened during the chase, even this year to spade and ghkwame1. The more you call the person(s) out, the more they like your posts. They are just catching fun jo, chill out.

And 5'11 is no midget, osun stop that rough play

[color=#000033]Can you stop being a liar naa? So, you mean to tell me that you're an inch away from 6ft? Thandii1!!! Hmmm... Your lies ehn... I take a bow. [/color]

Eustachio:
Yeah, I'm doing well. Just had to remember you. My only nightmare on this thread is my dwarf stature. Can you give me a height potion?


P.S: please whoever is liking my posts, stop, you are scaring me.

[color=#000033]Hobbit![/color]

AndrERush:
My man, I dey o. I just couldn't get into this season as I did the last time. I have genuinely tried watching it for an extended period of time, but wasn't able to sustain the interest. Most times when I'm at home, I find myself preferring to tune in to super sports , to watch old games rather than bba. Plus the fact that I have become slightly busier than last year isn't helping matters either.

Though Tayo is an interesting character, I have found most of the remaining housemates extremely boring , him alone doesn't seem to be enough to make me want to watch all the time. I think I'll stick to watching sporadically for now , until maybe the final week. I haven't even voted once this season. I was left exhausted from voting Melvin last season which was a real fun. Even the bba thread of last year, I feel, was much more interesting in my humble opinion. All the talk of Tamuno, Ekene and Ughochukwu lol amongst other things was truly funny. I honestly kinda miss last year's experience.

With all that being said. If Tayo can make it to the final and has a real chance of winning. Then I will most definitely support, campaign and vote relentlessly for him.

[color=#000033]Lol, I get now. Today's actually my first staying on here for almost 8 hours straight.

Ah! Last year. Kikikikiki, when winches and winzards would refuse to sleep but prefer to hijack someone else's thread for T or D - Tabh, Ochon/Eustachio gollum, Thandii1 the female eskimo, Reincarnated that almost fooled us as MariaRocks, Ksslib the gala hawker from Benin, JovialJov (Thandii1's secret lover), Lertee, Njokusboy, Ellab, Modella, ForkAdict, etc.? Or, the rigorous voting exercise that didn't get us the moolah? That one dey sha! This na new year. Next year sef, I doubt I'll be anywhere active, gonna be so so busy.

If I can, I'll vote via WeChat. Got no time for web or money for SMS.

All same, glad to know you're cool. Talk soon.[/color]

[color=#000033]The way some peeps dey behave 4here ehn, nawa. No day without beef. God save the queen![/color]

Eustachio:
Ode, it's Gollum not gallum.

[color=#000033]Mumu, noted. [/color]

Eustachio:
Jekyllandhyde, stop liking our posts!!

[color=#000033]What do you mean? You should be suspected because you've two accounts and now, you want to rope me in, gallum. [/color]