₦airaland Forum

Omojudy:
Yes sperm is cheap. But eggs(not one oh) are BTW 100k to 200k. Is that too big for someone doing ivf and surrogacy before that they will go and let the surrogate have something to hold them with?

True.

Thank you for the info, very much appreciated.

danielistics:
Ephesians 5: 22 & 24

Lol you’re making her argument for her. That’s a verse written by a man. Spirituality and the true ways of Christ have been corrupted by man AKA religion. The men of those times manipulated the ways and teachings of Christ to suit their agenda.

Everybody just picking and choosing, manipulating words and actions to suit their ultimate agenda.

Omojudy:
Why use a surrogate's egg and have her related to your children when eggs are quite affordable?

They are? I didn’t know that. I thought donor eggs are like 10x more expensive than donor sperm, rightfully so because of the stressful process of extracting eggs. If they are then obviously a surrogate without a genetic link will always be a better option. I thought a traditional surrogate will be cheaper than donor egg + surrogate.

Omojudy:
Gestational. Sorry for the delay.

Oh ok, no problem, I understand. I was looking for info on traditional surrogacy, I know it’s becoming increasingly uncommon. Thanks and congratulations once again.

GboyegaD:
Cordiality is the key. The ones that doesn't want to fall in line, leave them where they belong. I don't know why we put to much of our concerns on in-laws in our society. They have no hold on our homes. As a guy, no in-law can harass anyone in my family of procreation. Not my family or my wife's family.

Thank you. You sound just like my brother. I have an older sister-in-law, my brother’s wife and I can’t do that in their house, my brother will not even tolerate that, one thing we were raised and taught is not to waste food. To also be gossiping about my brother’s wife and his home to the neighbours, where they all live?? It’s a no no, my brother loves his privacy like mad, the day he knows he will personally drop me off at our parents house.

GboyegaD:
Some are not happy with the choice of partner or sometime feel the new party wouldn't make them feast on their family member's wealth the way they used to. In essence, some hate for no right reason.

Thank you! Some in-laws don’t just have love at all, if you like donate your kidney, they will never appreciate. In fact the more you try to ‘win’ over the more they know they can treat you like dirt. There are some that you can get in your corner or make to like you, for others just leave them, mind your family and be cordial to them, that’s the best you can do.

sassysure:
Every hatred from inlaw started from somewhere. No matter how bad it seems and look, beneath that exterior gragra, we all want to live in peace and harmony. That they will continue to hate u despite all u do is simply a big fallacy. U have not touched the right bottom.
U use your emotions to follow them instead of brainwork.

That girl is 20 yrs. The things relevant to her now are boyfriend, fixing hairs and nails and of course her school work.
That is exactly what u will use to get her.
Trust me, it has never failed.
If it's other family members, different approaches.

Her case is minute. I have seen worst. Gangs of family members plus their brother's former betrothed that the family want him to marry all living with them. The babe came in as extended family member who want to stay with them for her IT. The wife never knew and spoiled this babe with love and affection. By one month, confession here and there. Husband was outside the country for a 6 months course. So called betrothed confessed and begged for forgiveness. As for the rest of the girls, today, in their various home, it's this same woman they call when things go south for advice.

U will never lose with showing love and affection. It's like opium. Humans are wired to respond to affections as they receive it,positively or negatively.

U can only lose if u don't do it from your heart, if u give with one hand and take with the other.
If u allow your emotions to dictate for u. If your ego is way above your head.
My dear, I have seen so many,countless numbers of cases so bad but turned good because of how the woman reacted.

Remember, everybody in that family will not accept you.
It's your job to make them love you, period.
And don't forget, u can never ever separate a man from his family. They were there before u.
The same way a man will never separate you from your family. So why fight them. You have already failed before u start. So why not use one stone for two birds.
Don't be selfish. If it's your cousin, u will do more than that. Not to talk of your sister. We are Nigerians and we know how this works.
Sometimes we women are the cause of our marital woes. A very simple thing we wanna blow it out of proportion.
The only thing u own as far as that man is concerned is his rod. I'm not even sure of that anyway. The rest is shared. EOD

Okay. Each to his own.

I can never tolerate what I can’t from my younger sister from my younger sister-in-law because she’s an in-law. Na marry I marry, I no kill person. Bending over backwards to reward bad behaviour in order for ‘peace’ to reign is a lifetime job. Life is too short for that, marriage is not supposed to be suffer-head, we make it more difficult than we need to, if everybody treats each other the way they want to be treated all these in-law wahala will not surface. Why do I need to bribe someone with hair and trips so she can behave decently towards me??

I understand that families are different sha, maybe you need to do all that to live in peace, At the end of the day we’ll all log off and live our real life so everyone should do what works for them.

EOD

freeze001:
I'm sure you missed the point of the bold part you tried to emphasise. If she knew she wouldn't eat the food then why dish it only to eat the meat, abandon it and then cook the same meal afresh for herself? Does that even make sense if not to[b] spice the wife?[/b]

Exactly! This is passive aggressiveness.

merahki:
This would be me on so many occasions o (guilty)
I would want to try and find out that I can’t get the food past my throat without retching (honestyl). sometimes. I don’t think I can eat peoples’ beans, soup, etc. I have disgraced myself over pasta and lasagna specially made for me in two other countries before. My fad has gone international . It is a deficiency that I have. All my people know this. I could sniff out and exclusively drink Coast milk as a child. They always wondered how I could tell it apart from Peak, Nido or carnation. My nose is weird. Now I hate all milk, but nobody cares to know this, sorry!
So my point is that I fit the bill of someone who would be served food, would taste and hate it, and just eat the meat. And cook my own or more likely buy my own. Without wishing to disrespect anyone, or to undermine their kitchen ownership and wifehood at all. I am not the best with peoples’ food. I actually can’t picture myself living in my married brother’s house, at all . But now thinking, if I lived there they would love me and my stay and always worry about what I would or wouldn’t eat, lol.
But all these “me and my kitchen” ladies are very boring sha. So much ado about food . In my house, people always have a blast (just don’t make me cook is all I ask! Sometimes I cook and magic happens shaa, but I don’t like cooking).

I get all of that, it happens you start to eat and you know the food is not for you.

The wife doesn’t serve her, she dishes her own food, if you try someone’s food one or twice and you don’t like it, why continue dishing YOURSELF from the same cooking and wasting the food?? Can she do that in her own house that she lives with her parents? Why not just cook your own food and leave the ‘bad’ food for your brother and his wife.

cococandy:
OP your thread won’t get many meaningful contributions because the first reaction from each poster would be to correct you.

So fix your title and maybe folks might not be distracted and actually discuss what you’re really asking.

It will, from his fellow ageist evening newspaper gang.

I’m using a US version of the iPhone, please how do I edit the autocorrect. Whenever I type it updates my spelling to American English. How can I change it?

I have gone to settings but can’t find where to change the language.

Thank you.

sassysure:
See great opportunity u are missing.

If it's me, by the time I finish using her head, she will become cook, cleaner, planner etc. Any outside fight or gossips concerning me, she will be my defender. Me, I go dey cruise with shakara.

U can even make the devil like u and do your bidding if u set your mind on it.

Start by going to saloon for hairdo.
Take her with u, u wanna fix acyclic, do so for her. U do 5k hair,do 5k hair for her, and allow her to chose. U can even snap her after the hair with your phone, she want to loosen her hair, do that for her, she will volunteer to do yours. U ask her to choose which food to cook for dinner,even if u don't like her,tell her Oya,let's go and cook.
Jist,u love watching naija dramas,a very good avenue to establish bond. By the time u finish with her, she will become your number 1 fan.

One day she will tell you about that Jonny who is disturbing her or Ben who disvirgined her. Never ever judge or condemn but listen. When she gained your trust, u can advice subtly.
That babe is your surest card to get your inlaw to love and respect you. During your dark days with your husband's family( sure it will come), she is your only way out.
Don't fukkk it up with this me and my hubby ish. It hardly happen in our society.

Be wise

All what you typed is rewarding bad behaviour, and that’s why in-laws behave the way they do. They know wives would ALWAYS want to bend backwards and accommodate bad behaviour, in order for peace to reign in the house or not to upset husband.

This won’t work for every in-law. There are some in-laws that are not interested in living peacefully with their brother’s wife. Someone that will dish her own food and not eat it, doesn’t sound like someone that is rational. Most of these people are entitled because you’re married to their brother, sometimes stoop to conquer behaviour or pele pele can backfire and empower them.

Madam poster people treat you the way you allow them o. If you’re older than her, then treat her the way you will your younger sister. If your sister wastes food wouldn’t you rebuke her?? You don’t even need to bother your husband, handle that sh!t your self, nonsense. These people take advantage of the fact that you don’t want to shake the table and behave the way they want, inconsiderate and ungrateful.

How will someone dish the food you cooked, not eat it and then go and cook her own. If she doesn’t like the taste of your food, why dish it all? to add insult she’s also carrying your in house matter outside.

Mindlog:
They are most times older than their wives, so the chances of them dying before their wives is high.

Also right from birth, females have higher chances of survival than their male counterparts thus we lose more baby boys than baby girls to infant mortality as the girls are biologically stronger than the boys and this is evidence-based.

Even before foetus gets to baby. A female foetus is more resilient. Most miscarriages are male foetus.

Monishaa:
Bukatyne, I thought exactly the same thing when I first saw this color combination, not on her though.

What?!! Where were you guys during the colorblock trend in the 2010s? It was everywhere!!

Congratulations on your twins.

Is it traditional or gestational surrogacy?

aeion:
Are you the OP?

Also, to add, not only you don’t have the right it’s also insensitive asf.

aeion:
. Men with these sexist, I'm-always-right-you're-always-wrong, my-way-or-the-high-way characteristics are usually like that before marriage. You probably saw some of the signs before you got married and thought he would change Or you were too caught up by him portraying himself as a so-called man of God that you didn't pay attention to the things you should have. This is who he is.

Also, I checked your threads. In September 2018 you were seeking financial assistance here and you mentioned being a mother of 3. In another thread in Health in November 2018 you mentioned having a 3-months old. In this thread, you mention being a family of 4, so between last yr and this year you just had another child. Idk why you keep having more kids when you're struggling financially?

The bolded is so not true and it’s not always the case. Some men know how to pretend and behave the right way just to tie the knot. Some men that are like this are the type of boyfriends that apologise or call you many times even when the girlfriend is wrong or never keep malice. Please all this blanket “you must have known he was like that but you still married him” it’s not true for all cases. Unless you knew them when they were dating you have no right to insinuate this was the case.

Dating and being married are different things, there are some scenarios where you can never know how the person will react or behave unless you live with them 24 hrs.