Successtube: I never thought I’d find myself contemplating divorce just two years into my marriage. As a bachelor, I’d look at couples splitting up and wonder how they ended up there. Didn’t they date and get to know each other first? Didn’t they see the signs? And yet, here I am, standing on the brink of making the same decision. I dated my wife for a year and three months before we got married, and I thought I knew her. But I was wrong. She lied and pretended to be someone she wasn’t. Now, I’m starting to see who she truly is, and it’s tearing me apart.
Immediately after our wedding, I noticed changes in her that hadn’t been there before. One month in, we were not having sex like any newly married couple would. Every time I tried to be intimate, she’d have some excuse—a headache, feeling tired, or being stressed from work. I tried to be patient, thinking it was just a phase. But it didn’t end. When I finally asked her what was wrong, she bluntly told me she didn’t like sex. I was shocked. How could she not like sex? We had been intimate enough times while dating for me to believe otherwise.
“How can we have children if we don’t have sex?” I asked, trying to keep my frustration in check. Her response was indifferent, almost as if it didn’t matter. From then on, she’d sometimes only have sex with me during her ovulation period, like it was a chore to check off her list. It went on like this for over eight months, and I felt more and more disconnected. I felt unwanted, unloved. Every attempt to bridge the gap between us only seemed to widen it.
But the cracks didn’t just stop there. Through a relative of mine, I managed to get her a job that paid her 300,000 Naira monthly. She seemed happy, and I was glad I could help. Then, fate dealt me a blow—I lost my job. After months of searching, I managed to find another one, but it paid only 120,000 Naira a month. I couldn’t afford to stay home, so I took it, thinking it would just be temporary until I found something better.
My 120,000 Naira salary barely covers our expenses. I take care of the rent, food, bills, and still fuel my car to get to work. The one that hit me hardest was when our rent increased to 700,000 Naira around the same time my car’s engine gave out, needing another 500,000 Naira to repair. I felt the walls closing in on me. I was struggling, juggling all these financial burdens alone. I turned to my wife, thinking she’d step up and help. After all, she was earning more than double what I was. But all she could offer was 50,000 Naira.
I was speechless. She looked at me and said it was a man's duty to cater to his family, and she could only "assist." Her words felt like a slap. Here I was, drowning under the weight of our expenses, and she was holding back. I had to sell one of the lands I’d bought back in my bachelor days to cover the bills. I never thought I’d be in a position where I had to sell my hard-earned property just to survive while my wife, who I had helped get a better-paying job, stood by and watched.
The emptiness gnawed at me until I reached out to someone who had once filled a different kind of void in my life—my ex. We had broken up years ago because of distance when she moved to London for her studies. But we never really ended things on bad terms. There was always a "what if" lingering between us. Now, in my loneliness, that "what if" turned into late-night conversations, laughter, and the kind of warmth I hadn’t felt in a long time. I sneak out every now and then to be with her. I know it’s wrong. I know cheating is not the answer, but I felt like I was drowning, and she was the only one who could save me. With her, I felt alive again, seen, and heard. Things quickly escalated, and before I knew it, I was back in her arms. It felt like a betrayal of my marriage vows, but at the same time, it felt like the only way to reclaim a part of myself that had been lost.
I never imagined I’d be contemplating divorce, but here I am. I want to marry my ex. I want a fresh start, a chance to feel loved again. I don’t know if I can continue in a marriage where I feel more like a burden than a partner. Maybe it’s time to face the harsh truth: some people change, and some people never really were who they claimed to be. Maybe it’s time for me to choose my own happiness, to take a leap and start over.
Don't make the same mistake I made. Study your partner thoroughly before to married, don't rush!
Here is what I have to say 1. Did you both discuss finances while dating? 2. Sex is important in marriage, however sex is not love. Do you know her love language? 3. Because you’re cheating on your ex now you think she’s a better woman than your wife right lol. Just know that she’s also doing same thing to you(cheat) when you eventually marry her. Or probably when you marry her and she changes your new solace with be your ex wife abi😂😂.
You ex GF already can’t trust you to be honest. Even if she gets married to you you’ll feel trapped because she felt if you can do this with her you will definitely do it with someone else at any little issue.
Oga fix your home/marriage o. You both should see a counselor.
Trenow: Hi guys I need an advice,my brother have being in a heartbroken situation right now after finding out that this wife is dating a local yahoo scammer for long now up to 2 year now.
She has been sending money to the guy to the tune up to 500k and the guy keeps promising her heaven and earth that when he cash out from his foreign client he is going to take her in. This my brother wife is someone with 6 children,my brother had forgiving her the first but she later continue with the same guy this year, not minding the financial difficult my brother is having his wife will have mind to be doing this nonsense somebody has no main work..
Please is there any Agency or. office that can handle this matter to be able to recover the funds from the person,we have his number and their WhatsApp chat
The three of you (your brother, his wife and you) are not okay.
Duchexx: Tueh! You begged that woman to stay with you! You disvirgined her! And now you’re fed up! You were the problem in your previous marriage! You didn’t know “ To myself, even if you want us to live together as couple atleast I should know your parents and do something on your head to prove that we are both married” when you were begging her to stay with you o. Shameless and wicked man
Afodot0022: She is naturally lazy to the core. Despite her being around, I do my laundry myself, I clean and sweep, I cook attimes , wash dishes. All she does is lie on bed and sleep at day. What surprised me was when she just picked her cloth alone about of our both dirty cloths and left mine. That was when I knew she doesn't worth the sacrifices I rendered her. She hate spending her money and expect me to sort all bills including feeding on top say I be her boyfriend. What she say is that am her boyfriend so I should handle all of it. Anytime I bring the discussion of her getting her place, she will start crying and saying all emotional blackmailing words. Some girls can just be so irresponsible, you work and earn and don't want to spend your money. I told her, did she realize that if she got her apartment, she will start paying bills and feeding herself, so why is it difficult to do such now you live with me. I see it as been stingy, selfish and self centered, reason I want to kick her ass out. She doesn't worth the sacrifice
How do you expect her to save and get her own apartment when you clearly know she was sharing rent with a friend. If you can’t sacrifice for her in her down time then let her go.
She’s lazy to the core but she’s not lazy to open her legs for you when it’s time to satisfy you 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄. Grow up
Afodot0022: Top of the day to my nairalanders family, God bless you all in all ramifications. I know some will be familiar with my stories here, if you are not, you can visit my profile to get familiar.
My girlfriend have been living with me for a month now and reason I took her in was that she was kicked out from her friend she shared an apartment with and got no choice than to accept her briefly pending when she gets her own accomodation.
Initially I thought it will be beneficial she staying as I expect her to support but she is sole dependent on me even knowing that she works and earn well.
Now the narrative is changing as this my girlfriend is getting too relaxed, comfortable and looks like she doesn't want to leave again and want us to live together. At first I wanted this cos I expected she will also contribute in the house but I noticed she has been keeping her money to herself despite her working and depending on me solely and making me take husband responsibility that I have not signed for.
She is kinda lazy even despite her living with me, I still do my chores, clean and attimes cook. She only do these once in a while. There was a time she wanted to do her laundry, our dirty cloths was in the basket, she picked only her own dirty cloths and left mine to wash her own alone, I was surprised she acted that way despite the help I rendered for her.
I was divorced 2years ago and don't even want to think about another marriage any time soon cos of the issues, stress and responsibility involved in marriage, now it seems this girl is driving me to that route which am not even ready or prepared for.
The last time I told her to get her apartment before this month end, she didn't take it well with me, she started crying and manipulating me emotionally. To myself, even if you want us to live together as couple atleast I should know your parents and do something on your head to prove that we are both married but truth be told, am not ready for such for now, am not ready for marital commitment.
Pls house, advice me on how to navigate through this situation, how can I get her to leave my apartment nice, as it is now, I don't even care if her leaving will be the end of the relationship, cause I remember she mentioned that if she leaves, she won't come to my house again never I just want to have my place to myself so I can plan and focus with the little am managing instead of her adding to my responsibility which am not st for.
Pls if you have once been in this situation, kindly drop some tips and advice that will help me out on this cos it's giving me sleepiness night and I don't want to treat her harshly or rudely. I will appreciate all you inputs
LOL. Tell me she’s not doing wifey duties for you in the bedroom? 😂 I’m happy young girls are beginning to wise up.
You want her to cook, clean, wash, and still contribute to the upkeep of the house and still have s@x with you. But you’re not ready for commitment/marriage?😂😂😂 so what exactly are you complaining about.
She definitely knows the relationship is not going to end well. I need her contact to tell her how happy I am with her. 😂😂😂😂
ExAngel007: "The only crime I committed was trusting a man" - Nigerian woman narrates how her husband travelled to Lagos 3 weeks after their wedding and never returned
A Nigerian woman, Chinenye Anyanwu, has narrated how her newly wed bliss was cut short when her husband vanished into thin air three weeks after their court wedding in 2019.
Chinenye, who shared her story in a Facebook post on Tuesday, August 27, 2024, said that her runaway husband, who is suspected to be a scammer, made away with everything he could lay hands on.
According to her, Olumide left for Lagos on what was supposed to be a one week trip but never returned till date.
She said two weeks into the trip, she informed Olumide that she was pregnant but he wasn't thrilled about the idea of being a father.
Unknown to her, she was in for more shock. In what she described as the “biggest scam in history,” she said it turned out that Olumide's ‘family members who came to the wedding weren't real."
She alleged that they were either ‘hired, tricked to attend or play roles at the wedding.’
So traditional marriage is a joke to you people right? You think court wedding is the ultimate? 😂😂. Next time try and go to the village of your prospective spouse
NonsenseRubbish: Wow.. just wow. Reasons she lied ?? A lie is a lie. At least you accept she’s a liar. 1- You obviously don’t pay bills or/and take care of a family,bf/gf. In this current economy we find ourselves wastage cannot be condoned if it keeps happening. 2. Stingy? How? She has access to his house and wallet. And he still tries to provide 3. It’s his house. It’s a simple observation. He knows when someone has cooked in the kitchen. You should know if someone has laid on a bed you dressed yourself right ? 4. She’s not free in his house ?? She has a freaking key to his house and goes there when he’s not even home. How much freedom do you need please ? 😂 she’s just a liar abeg 5. He obviously values cleanliness in his house. It’s only right he tries to instill the same values in her as well. And like the OP said she isn’t a tidy person to begin with. But you are still here looking for flaws. You are a very manipulative person and it’s disgusting. The guy will have his own personal flaws because I’m sure he’s not perfect himself but don’t give reasons for lying and try to turn tables
Imagine saying all these trash when you’re not even the one who made the post. If he wants someone tidy he should stop stressing her and probably the two of you can make a good couple. Radarada
Ayomide11111: Should I consider what happened yesterday? Nairaland pls advice.
I came back from the studio yesterday's afternoon and I met my girlfriend in my house, yes she has one of my spare keys, I entered the house and I went straight to the kitchen.
I met her washing plates in the kitchen and I greeted her that she has done well but when I was about to leave the kitchen I observed that the kitchen walls were wet because anytime you cook in my kitchen the tiles on the walls gets wet due to the heat. Then, I asked her "babe what did you cook?" She said nothing that she only boiled water. I believed her and I did not suspect her because of the response but I was kind of thinking the water must have boiled over 100°c for those tiles to get wet.
I left the kitchen and I went to the bedroom when I got to the bedroom I saw some trashes she left undisposed and I was irritated and I decided to go and disposed them but when I got to our refuse bin I saw a fresh egg shells and some fresh noodles' pieces, I was kind of confused that which of my neighbors would have left his/her waste bin and come to used mine. Yet, I never thought too much because I knew it was my girlfriend, maybe she just wants to pull my legs that was why she lied at first, I concluded.
When I got inside I found her inside the bedroom, she's done washing plates, then I put it to her jokingly "babe next time you cook noodles and eggs make sure you dispose the nylons properly because you didn't do it well today." As if I ignited a flame she took it up with me angrily that why should I be saying that, that she never cooked anything since morning and I was accusing her wrongly....bla..bla..bla..bla... And she acted so real and dry like as if truly she didn't cook.
Mind you, that she cooked wasn't my problem, why would I get disturbed that my girlfriend cooked and ate in my house? But every evidences I was seeing were making me to ask her if truly she cooked but she kept denying and not that I got angry at this point.
I told her to forget about everything that not that I'm suspecting her but I just felt all what I have been seeing showed me that you cooked and not that I will kill you if you did. You're my woman why would you lied to me if you do things in my home. We shut the chapter and everyone was fine.
After like 5 minutes I went to the kitchen to cook beans, personally I don't like it when my gas cooker is dirty but my girl is a messy lady she doesn't care and I have been fighting over this on how to sort her out. I decided to clean the gas cooker and immediately as I raised the stand I saw enough fresh noodles at the angle corners of the gas Cylinder. I stood up and gave it a thought. After, I decided to show her so that she would not deny it. I called her to come to the kitchen and when she got to the kitchen I showed her and she could not say anything.
Then I asked her "as little as cooking noodles and you lied. Why did you lie on this very little matter? Why babe? " Not that that I will quarrel with you why you cooked and eat. Why? When I was coming from the studio I have already bought things that we are going to eat. Why such a big denial and lie on a little matter? Why?
Pls Nairaland I suggested this is one of the RED FLAGS. Isn't it? Pls advice.
There are many reasons why she lied 1. Because you complain of her wasting your gas 2. You’re stingy 3. You’re too petty (imagine entering the kitchen and looking out for wetness on the walls) your type will count the amount of beans and foodstuffs at home before leaving for work. 4. She’s definitely not free in your house that’s why she has to lie and cover up before you get back. 5. You want her to take out trash, you get angry because she didn’t clean the cylinder ah ah but she’s not free to eat common noodles. You would have count the noodles na or I guess she bought them with her money.
SweepingBroom: After dissecting, I further rolled the chicken on the fire slightly. It kept sizzling and turning slight golden brown and then I shook my head in affirmation of the sweet aroma
Try to clean your chicken very well by removing all the feathers. Goshhhh
Freshtruth: I have been struggling with Masturbation, virtual bet and brothel habbit The masturbating was 10yrs old I was able to quit it since 2020 I have never gone back till date
The virtual bet9ja was 3yrs old I started it 2016 Oct I ended it September 2019 till date I have never played it
Since I quit this 2 habits my account that was always zero naira has miraculously risen to above 300k
The last habit is the brothel habit I have lit it but still go there once a while .
Helpe Thank God quiting this addition is not an easy feat
Your village people are obviously doing a good job. After quitting one habit, you tend to learn another. 😂😂😂 I pity who ends up with you.
The only thing she likes is the fact that he called her “Aunty” nothing else. Yoruba people are bunch of rud@ and arrog@nt fellows. But the demands respect as if they have it in them.
madone: na your pregnant girlfriend i am sorry for cos she will still suffer this kind of shit from you in future even if u overcome this one. For the record you dey very maaaaad.
To be honest. You’re right, once this particular sales girl goes he will continue with the next.
adebowales: Hello nairalanders! I seek your opinion concerning this situation I find myself in.
I have been in a relationship with my fiancée for 3 yrs already to which she is pregnant for me at the moment! Though we have been together enjoying our relationship until recently I employed a new sales representative which is getting me confused.
Since the day I employed my sales girl, she had been handling my business perfectly even while I wasn’t around, she always defends me well, though I pay her well for this, but she had been managing the business like hers and she makes good return daily, besides she is also a good girl in management.
The relationship I have with my fiancée is getting to marriage soon but I feel recently am making a bad choice even though she is pregnant for me.
Recently, my sales girl profess love to me by telling me she really loves me and she has falling in love already, this makes her get pained seeing me and my fiancée together. I had to explain to her that, I am the kind of person that is very loyal to my commitment, if we had met earlier, no one also would be able to take me away from her, so by that, I love her, but it’s late already as me and my wife has gone deeper and breaking up isn’t easy at these moment at all.
Recently, I found out my sales is already talking to different suitors which at times gives me bad feelings which makes me confused at the moment if I may loose her and this will definitely affect my business except I find someone better also.
You are obviously not in your right senses. Imagine the rubbish coming out of your mouth. And you wants a wife who’s faithful right? You’re just loose. Small boy
Gistmedia10: A Nigerian man from Edo State has shared a hilarious and heartwarming video of his parents' first encounter with a washing machine in the UK. The father, who is used to hand laundry, was left stunned and fascinated by the machine's ability to wash clothes automatically.
In the video, the father is seen squatting and intently watching the washing machine as it operates, his face filled with wonder and curiosity. He seems to be mesmerized by the machine's spinning drum and the ease with which it washes clothes
The son, who is heard laughing in the background, can't contain his joy as he watches his parents experience the convenience of modern technology. "My dad don fall my hand!" he exclaims.
LocalFARMERS: You are wrong my Brother. The sugar was not much. Remember,sugar is very expensive these days. She is also managing the little sugar she have.
Did I hear you say she’s managing sugar? That’s not possible. This stuff requires a lot of sugar to be sweet and moreover people from the north naturally have sweet tooth 🦷
LocalFARMERS: After working in my Groundnut farm, I decided to buy Fura da Nono #500 as my lunch meal. Fura da Nono is a popular food that is common in Northern Nigeria and Countries where Fulani herdsmen are found.
Nono is 100% Cow Milk. While Fura is made from Milet. Fura da Nono has a unique taste. It contains the same vitamins and minerals that, the Milk we buy in our markets contain.
Exceptional300: so would you advise I speak to them about it to know what they think?
The best person to speak to is a doctor and he will tell you that there’s nothing wrong. I know of a woman whose pregnant with one ovary during my ante natal days.
Family › Re: I'm Contemplating Divorce After Two Years by jessylaurel(f): 11:39pm On Sep 03, 2024
