₦airaland Forum

22rockbottom:
Good Evening,

I got married 11years ago, my mother in-law has always in the picture of everything in our home and has total control of my wife. My wife cannot object anything she says even when I, as her husband challenged it. 90% of the major issues we had as a couple were caused by my mother in-law. After 11years, I decided to confront her to stop controlling her daughter and stop interfering in our marriage and home. I confronted her and my wife left the house. Her reason for leaving the house is that I disrespected her family.

more details later

If the reverse was the case now you won't do anything. Yes you disrespected her family

Mokole2023:
Dear Nlders,

I cant say if this problem is peculiar and I would sincerely appreciate mature comments and suggestions.

My marriage is just about a year old though I had an on/off online friendship with my now-wifey since 2017 before we decided to get serious late 2021. Our physical courtship was kinda brief - about 6 months - while we both resided in the same state but different Cities (about 3hrs apart).

I used to be very sexually active in my previous relationships - trust me when i say I'm quite good in bed - but with my now-wifey, I decided to limit the sex part cos i felt at a man's age (tho my sisters also advised same) that there r other things to look out for in a woman. So basically, we did not get too intimate during courtship. Worryingly, even the few times we did it, I rarely got to orgasm cos she couldn't match my stamina.

Fast forwards to 1 month into the marriage, I was diagnosed with High blood pressure which the doctors advised BP drugs might affect my libido but it will later regulate/normalize. Then the problems started! First, I get aroused normally with good turgidity enough to penetrate my Wifey's tight "body" but I tend to loose erection after some mins of thrusting and that's the end. Never comes back on again. Few times I was able to finish but that's not without alot of mental imagination to make me finish ontime.

Very worryingly for me, I decided to check myself with other women and dear readers, I achieved stronger turgidity and no fail moment. That was my first shock.

Summarily, my wife and I still dont live together but this situation has gone worse now. I got no sexual feelings towards her and na by force we dey manage run 1 round in weeks. Meanwhile, I get sex requests from other girls on a daily. I'm very sad about this situation especially when i look at my wife because she ought to be enjoying this thicke alone forever.

As a man, you can imagine how you'd feel when your woman feels ur impotent while other women are bugging you for your time.

Various extreme thoughts have crossed my mind and I'm seriously bothered which isn't even good for my health. Should i confess to my wife?

I await your responses, suggestions and advice.

Many thanks,

Everything is in your head. I also pray she finds someone to satisfy her because deep down she feels you can't because of your yeye stand and fall prick. Since you have tried outside let her try too.


You're not ready for marriage oga stamina.

taylor89:
is Pete Oonis mate?

As you be king for your land na so another person be king for him land

Even me wey no be anybody I no fit bow my head for Ooni

Ooni wey dey marry different women per week dey find respect

Rubbish

No be Ooni wan use two hands shake white man so?

E don reach Pete una penis stand

If Ooni waka anyhow for night sef guys wey he collect their babes go knack am 2 by 2

Ooni should be thankful say Kanayo no use am complete June sacrifice

Thank you o. Ooni is in his house not bothered but there are here ranting.

Naijalarry:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=im0cHn2jXGc



Source- https://punchng.com/ooni-pete-edochie-handshake-stirs-controversy-on-social-media/

Pete Edochie is also a chieftancy title holder and also a chief to say so all these afongas just shut up abeg. We know your haterd for the igbos is compared to none. Mtchewwww

CuriousMind2022:
It's a known fact that most Nigerian girls marry who they consider ready for marriage and not necessarily who they love. I am exactly in that dilemma and the question I am asking myself is whether I should continue in this loveless marriage or slowly drift and walk away.

My marriage is barely 2 years and a few months, but it has been a rough journey for me. Things I never envisaged I would experience in my marriage, I have suffered, from utmost disrespect to verbal abuse.

I came to the conclusion that she doesn't love or care about me based on what happened yesterday. I was recently transferred from my base to a new location and because of that, I would only be able to visit weekends or twice a month. Prior to that, we barely had sex once a week.

We had already had sex the normal once we usually had it (Saturday morning), but I wanted more because I will only be coming back after two weeks. I initiated a move on Sunday morning, she declined because she was thinking of preparing food for our baby before we leave for church. We went to church and came back, and as usual, my wife was in her undies (just panties and bra) in the sitting room (This was what she wore throughout that Sunday).

I watched her walk around the house in that and that even turned me on the more. I am a practicing Christian, and I try not to look after other women lustfully, but common this is my wife, even God sanctions that. After being turned on throughout the day, I went to my wife in the night, (note she slept in the sitting room with our baby leaving me alone in the room) to enjoy my conjugal rights with her, but she gave me excuses that she is upset and not in the mood.

I left and went back, seriously konjified, I managed to sleep. The next morning, I woke up with my urges and went to the sitting room to have my morning devotion, but I could barely concentrate because I was still very Hot. I explained to her that so really wants me to go to my new station like this knowing fully well I will not be coming back until 2 weeks time. This woman did not care!

I took my bath, prepared myself, and set out for my office. I was not happy with her but I kept my cool and left for work. She had demanded that I dropped some money for her before leaving and despite the fact that I was not happy with her, I dropped the money in a conspicuous place where I know she will see it before leaving. This was my own way of saying I am not happy with what you did, but I still cared.

I try to do things I usually do for my wife even when I am angry with her. This is my own way of saying I may be angry with you, but I still cared about you and I am open to a resolution. On the other hand, my wife doesn't care what happens to me when she is upset. She immediately stops cooking for me ad any other thing she does for me when she is upset. It is obvious to me now that to my wife I don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. She is only caring and concerned, when she is not angry (when we are good and we don't have any issues). I believe that when you love somebody, you treat them right and show genuine love and care for them even when you're upset with them. This is what I have constantly shown to my wife in our 2+ years of marriage.

Back to my story of what happened weekend/Monday. My wife never bothered to call me to check if I arrived safely since I left the house yesterday. I even called her once (primarily to check on my daughter), but she didn't pick up and she didn't call back, and up till now, we have not spoken.

She obviously does not care whether I arrived safely in my station or not. In this country of insecurities, a family member of yours will travel and you do not care whether he/she arrived safely, that is the height for me, and in the actual sense, I should be the one upset here because she left me high and dry, despite knowing fully well I am very Hot.

I am a family-oriented person, I have always dreamt of having a peaceful, loving, and Godly home but unfortunately, the reverse is the case for my wife. I began to understand why family background is very important in a person's life, after getting married. My wife is from a family where they place little or no value on marriage. Her mother had children with 2 men, and my wife is obviously working very hard to follow that same path. She shows little or no enthusiasm in making our marriage work. I am always the one to initiate moves to resolve issues when we quarrel, whether I am right or wrong, I do not care, my focus is just on making my marriage work and my home peaceful.

This last episode shook me very hard, and I have been asking myself whether I want to continue in this loveless marriage or opt out. Working and living in a different city will even make it easier for me.

I needed to let my thoughts out and thanks to Nairaland, I have done so.

With everything you have said. I didn't see where you said you asked her what's making her angry. And try to find out why. All you're concerned about is SEX and satisfaction. Weldone o because I know after she gives in to your sexual desire you will continue ignoring her without knowing why she's mad at you. You men do this alot.

Built2last:
And if you check out people like him most likely came into the country through a worst route sef, now he is turning around to contribute to putting sand sand in others garri
This man has ended the dreams of many

Yoruba people see them. After they will shouting go back to your state. Senseless

Redoil:
Such lecturers are most times above the laws of the school and the laws of the land. She should tell the lecturer that she is engage and everything will end

That's not a good reason o. Haven't you heard of married women cheating. Moreover is the man not married as well.

manee2:
I really can't give the best advice to my 24-year-old sister struggling with the frustrations of a married professor in his late 40s who wants to have a sexual affair with her.

The lecturer handles two different courses, each having a three-credit load and she is afraid of being failed for not complying with his sexual advances.

Having given many excuses for not meeting up for a date and refusing his gifts, tonight I found her crying after talking to him over the phone and it seems he is upset about the whole situation.

Record their conversations and make the idiot loose his job since he doesn't want it. Useless randy men.

2mercy:
https://www.lindaikejisblog.com/2023/5/man-left-confused-after-wife-conceived-again-despite-him-undergoing-vasectomy-2.html

Nlfpmod

All the Nigerian men left the WhatsApp group to ho and look for a good and affordable DNA facility. He-goats

OnGod247:
Pls a quick one...

Which can I go for in terms of Salary structure and better working environment, FRSC (Road safety) or NDLEA?

Pls both have invited me for screening.

Pls I need urgent contributions.

Thank you.

How were you notified about the screening because I haven't.

princeemmma:
Have been trying to check for about 7 people, but have not been able to general the slip

How do I check if I gave been enlisted?

flyca:
I was there at the 90th hour

Beautiful dress. Please kindly recommend your plug or a good store for nice dresses in lagos.

[quote author=lovediehatelive post=123125724]I met this pretty homely girl sometimes ago.

She was reluctant the first time I toasted her and won't want to date me. However, I persisted till she succumbed.

She's everything I want in a lady. She didn't want to visit me when we started dating until one day I promised that I won't touch her.

She visited and was so graceful that I thanked the heavens for sending my soul mate to me.

We discussed a bit and I made her feel comfortable because she was really uneasy.

As promised, I didn't touch her. She felt so free that she rested her head on my chest.

The urge to kiss her became so strong, but I resisted.

What's the use of spoiling things now when she can be mine forever?

She later left and we became really close from then.

I was happy because she's madly beautiful yet so down to earth.

I was thinking she is a virgin but I needed to clarify.

So one day, I used talk to bring talk and stylishly told her a bit about some rough life of my past for her to feel uncomfortable.

She later opened up to me about her first kiss and how the guy went on to have sex with her even though he promised her nothing will happen.

She was 19 years then.

Since then she stopped visiting guys and is no longer in contact with the guy.

She swore that she hasn't kissed or had sex since then.

Now she's 23.

The thing is I really deeply love this girl because she's just exactly what I needed. But I promise myself that I will marry a virgin and nothing else.

My love for this girl is beginning to affect my thinking.

Should I ditch her and keep looking for a virgin?

Or should I continue with her?

I'm planning to see her people this December.[/quote

Then make her a virgin. I couldn't read your post but decided to comment. Bye

taylor89:
NA THEM KNOW THE REAL PAPA

I understand grandparents and calling their grandkids their preferred name

And I know every human has one or two other names their family extended family calls them just like me now my name reach 30

Just like when you tell someone to tell you about themselves during talking stage you’ll hear my name soso my grandma calls me Adaobi my grandpa calls Ogbenye Alu my friends call me Sobechi etc

But you see switching from Charles to Daniel

Which are just same random English names and not a native name just grandparents always give

Oga that child isn’t yours

I laugh in swahili.

Fabulozz:
should I pay for her brideprice to silence her right ?

Lol yule edochie protege. Hope you see what he's passing through. Continue

Fabulozz:
As titled above. I made the worst mistake in my life impregnating my baby mama for the second time. She and her mother had given me so much trouble in the past. I don't even know what came out of me to start sleeping with her again. Boom she is pregnant and has refused to abort.

She want me to pay her brideprice or else she will tell my wife. If only I had control my manhood I would have not found myself in this terrible situation.

What should I do now mature advice please?

You want mature advice. From who exactly? Because you're not mature to begin with. Marry her since you can't keep your useless manh**d one place.

PoloG:
Nothing to like about igbos

Go and die then or leave the shores of this planet

sukkot:
See at this point I don't understand most Nigerians anymore. Every time I offer a helping hand to Nigerians they turn to your enemy. I don't understand the dynamics behind it. The whole interaction just gets very awkward after that . It's like they hate you for " humbling " them. It never fails.

But the ones who have a pure friendly relationship with you? Are the ones you haven't given anything yet. So in my everyday life person to person I try to do charity because charity covers a multitude of sins and givers never lack.

So this is a recent case study. This young guy , a security guard was sent by the company to guard the house I stay. I would say about 19 years old. One night I went grocery shopping and I was going through the gate he runs over from across the street and told me he was hungry. So I said what does he eat ? He said he likes indomie . So I went to my place and brought out like 5 indomie and 3 soft drinks and 2 sardines and gave it to him. He thanked me.

Every 2 days when I go out I would do small grocery shopping for him. Indomie and biscuits and soft drinks sardine or bread. A few times when I go out to get bottled palmwine for myself I would get him palmwine or orijin beer he likes. But I started noticing his entitlement behaviour like on the days when I don't buy him anything he would time when I Am coming home and sit beside my door when he sees me carrying my own groceries and he would be looking at me like he is depressed. And he would Always be watching me to see if I am going grocery shopping and he would hang around the car to see if I would come out with grocery.

Let's just say this guy got ridiculously stalkerish and so I called him up 4 days ago and asked him has his salary being paid yet? He said yes. Because am thinking all these things he is doing because he is new on the job and has no money and is hungry so I put up with it for like a month.

But once he told me yes that he had being paid, I in a roundabout way told him I don't tolerate the stalking. That he doesn't need to be following me or waiting on me. Anyway since that day this guy just turned into an enemy. Someone who I have been buying groceries for for almost a whole month just turned hostile like that. Now all that time I was buying him grocery he would do ass kissing stuff like when I drop my black trash bag outside my door he would take it to the bin outside for me but since that day the guy just bone my trash bags lol.

Anyway the point here is this ? You create an enemy unknowingly out of those you help - not family members- because I think it is humiliating for them and they despise you for it, so if you are going to offer charity don't offer it to people you have to see on a daily basis. Just find a beggar in the street that you would never see again. Nigerians are funny, they beg you for money but they hate you for giving them that money especially if it is not a life changing amount.

It's like a guy I gave 5000 naira one time and he thought it was an insult, just a regular guy who I don't even know like that, God is my witness, which 5000 is no money but it was just for him to buy beer for the weekend, you can get 15 beers with 5000 when I gave it to him.

So out here on these streets you have to be savage. No more mr nice guy ooo lol. basically if you are not offering guys over 100k just forget it cuz they would hate you. look for a real beggar who would appreciate 5000 or 1000.

This is an example of 'don't start what you can't finish'

victorikpe:
For those of us that couldn't write the NDLEA assessment test slated for Wednesday 10th May to Thursday 11th May, what's our fate? 🤔🙄

I just wrote mine now. I already gave up and decided to login and it opened so keep trying.

Elan83:
From Yikpata Orientation camp kwara state to Ishielu local govt Ebonyi state

Wow
I camped at yikpata also. 2016/17

cyprianovic:
Ndlea no send your papa o... 😂

So I'll advise you keep trying till you see 'exam taken' on your dashboard.

Did you write yours today? I have been trying since morning

Jashub:
Get a house help and see how easily your husband will replace you. Nonsense

You obviously lack self control.

Xerona:
Hello Nairalanders, there is an issue at hand.
I have two kids and recently gave birth to the third few months ago. It's been really difficult for me since I practically do most of the house chores... my husband is hardly around because of work.

I came down with this strange disturbing headache that doesnt go away. So I went to see a doctor and she said the headache was as a result of postpartum stress and lack of sleep.

The truth is I'm awake most of the time because of the baby or when I'm attending to other household matter. I haven't had a good sleep in a long while. So when the doctor suggested I get a house help so I can find time and sleep when shes holding the baby. I knew she she was on point. But the problem is my husband, he wouldn't hear of it, he doesn't want us to get any househelp...

I even pleaded with him and made him see reasons why I needed help, but he refused... I'm beginning to think I ended up with the wrong person because I dont understand why anyone would deliberately want to subject their wife to this kind of torture.

My kids are age 5, 2 and 3 months... I go to the market, cook, clean, i even do school run too...He's a contractor and will be travelling back to work next week.. yet he doesn't want me to get help...

He's very selfish. And I know he can't do half of what you do every day. Men can't in general.
All I can say is don't over burden yourself with work in other to finish it a day. You can create a timetable and work with it.

Lastly teach your kinds how to clean up esp the 5years old after playing/eating it helps you too. If possible do it with a rhyme and sing with them while cleaning.

eddiense:
They are writing NDLEA CBT

Has anyone written today?? I'm trying to login it's not working.

Valme1010:
lol funny questions but it might just help someone ,because even someone that takes depressant can fail a drug test ,because people take it as a means to high ,while some are on it base on medication,so if you are on it base on medication ,you have to leave it,it might just make you loose a drug test

I feel if you're taking depressants for medical reasons you should have a medical report and come with it for the test incase.

sexiestharam:
All these una questions dey make me laugh. Una wan work for NDLEA and you dey use drugs? Lol. Na wa. Wetin una wan find for there?

Free drugs that are confiscated. Don't mind them

unilagfreshest:
1. The questions are very basic and elementary. If you be dullard like me ( add another phone by your side and use Siri to answer some basic questions like who is the ndlea chairman).
2.My 4ck up be say, I answered the law questions too, I wanted to go back but no way.. na so I turn lawyer by force, funny I knew some of the law terms too. Hope that won't count against me, by 2nd assessment we move ,. ✌️

Are options given to choose from for answers?

TheGreatIYANU:
You are wicked! Wicked are you!!!

falcon01:
Is it the Camera or that just looks disgusting

Its disgusting forget about the camera. My concern is what's inside the green bowl

Obavoh:
I had the opportunity to spend the weekend in a rich man’s house and it was a terrible experience for me.

I was given a small room in the boys quarters and was shocked to find out I will have to spend the night with 3 other grown men. The only bed available in the room was a student’s mattress. I had to sleep on the veranda.

The food they served me was very small. I found out they only cooked 2 times a day, breakfast and dinner.

You're very lazy. Now tell me the difference between the two food (rich man food and your) I pity your poor wife that's feeding your lazy a.ss

asshuaiby:
Na you no understand simple information.

Don't be useless and stupid. If you can't answer a simple question keep mute. Take your frustrations elsewhere.