₦airaland Forum

Fineman2:
This is going overboard

It's not on her skin/flesh. Its makeup

tomi4life:
I am 35 and my wife is 29, we have been married for 6 years now, we have 2 children a boy and a girl. We didnt court much during our courtship because of long distance.

I really have a problem with my wife and not sure what can be done to address, now I must be very honest am not sure there is anything I can do I just want to use the platform to vent my frustration.

My marriage has not been very good, lately myself and my wife leave like room mates and not lovers, despite the age difference between me and my wife she doesnt really respect me. For the 6 years we have been in marriage 3 things have caused all our fights: cooking, Sex and finance

My wife rarely cooks in the house, things around welfare are not taken seriously, actually in a week, my wife can cook for me just 1 time. She cooks for the children and baths for them daily, we also have a help who does alot of cooking. She rarely askes me what I will eat, honestly I always have to go to the kitchen to sort myself, sometimes I buy food outside from eateries and bucker. Sometimes when she cooks it usually very late 10pm. I have complained severally and what happen is she tries to change, after a week, we are back to the same state. My wife can do without cooking for me for weeks. It really really pains me cos am a foody and I knw hw my mum treats matters of food. she is this person that forms busy, either she is busy with work or some church activities, she always has an excuse. She goes to work only ones a weeks the remaining 4days are remote. To address this issue I now order soups from major restaurant outlets, An example is today easter sunday, I had to tell our maid to prepare rice for myself and the kids, cos my wife was in church, we all went to church but she decided to stay back, knowing fully well no food was prepared.

Sex: [/b]our sex life is very boring, when we got married we always fight about sex, cos anytime I ask for it she always complain she is tired, so what I now do is ask for it only sat morning, brethen this is only day I get sex. If I miss that day, it is still next week. We sleep in different rooms, she sleeps with the children in the master bedroom while I sleep alone in another room. I can tell most time she doesnt enjoy it and never ever askes for it, I always ask and initiate it. She just lays like a log, even kisses is a no no, except she is really on, which rarely happens.
[b]
Finance: I have always earned more than my wife, when we got married, I was earning 3 times what she was earning, but she changed jobs and got promoted severally and we were earning the same amount. she also does alot of side runs where she gets 200-300k monthly as side hustle, there was even a time she was earning more than I did. I dint let it bother me I continue to foot the entire house bills. 95% of the enitre house of comes from me, she only pays the maid , buys cooking gas and my sons diaper. Every other thing in the house is covered by me, house rent, school fees, project, all the bills. I give her 75k as food money monthly. I have continue to question her why I should give her food moeny if I still have to end up going out to eat. I think the only reason she sometime listens to me is cause i still provide the finances for the house. The time she was earning more I could see how she belittle some of my decisions. I just prayed to God, cos I noticed the respect was gone, when I talk to her about her role as a mum and mother to the home, she says she is working, she is busy, I mentioned to her that the money she works is for her, she doesnt share with the house, I have never asked her for it and am not against her working, she however should not neglect her responsibility as a mum. That my role as a father, God helping me is to provide, and this is why I work. I also noticed when I got a new job and my salary increased she kinda off felt jealous she didnt tell me but i noticed it, she began to aggressively look for jobs.


I really dont think we have that initmacy, we are just there, my wife cant come to tell me anything bothering her, she keeps to herself. Funny part is she is a very religious person, my wife will sleep with bible on her hand, wake up with bible pray and serve in various church unit, I however dont think she really understands what she reads. She also has a very bad temper sometimes when I raise certian issues, the ways she talks sometimes I have to hold back a response if not the whole thing will escalate. There are days I will raise certain issue up, the next things she mentions is " let just dissolve this marriage as it is not working" sometimes , I just refer her to her bible cos the utterances that come out of her mouth makes me doubt her understanding of Christianity.


I have never assaulted her, we have nt had any physically fight, what happens is most times when we have issues, I dont speak to her for days, then she come back apologizing. Sometimes when am wrong I also apologies.

Am not saying am perfect, I know there are areas I can do better, like in the buying off gift, I rarely buy her gift, not cause I cant but Cos she earns well and I believe she should buy whatever she needs with her money my wife earns approximately 800k monthy.


I expect my wife will support me but it like she is stressing me. when we go see my parent or our parent, it is all smiles, they dont knw hw stressful their daughter is, she even forms trying to serve me food and all.

Dont get me wrong she has some good side, but this thing is really getting into me. I dont drink, smoke or womanise, divorce is also not on the table for me.

Its obvious she's holding onto something you did that's she's finding it hard to open up to you. For her to boldly say something about dissolving the marriage you both needs counselling/therapy ASAP. Because once a woman loose it Oga forget it she has made up her mind about it.

Odewaleadesoye:


DAILY POST

Some ladies don't have taste sha. Imagine the way he looks so ugly

DeJoeee:
My gf just developed this recent habit of going to the kitchen with only her panties and shower cap leaving her breast bare.

Sometimes she will wear my polo(which is long on her cos I'm much taller) with no panties
This is a girl who is naked shy as recent as december last year.

I'm not supposed to suspect her cos she's from a very responsible home and possibly my wife to be but the experience of others have thought me to suspect any new move of the other gender no matter how innocent.

Do I need to worry about this?

Please mods help push to front page for more mature advise . This issue is of big concern to me

You have seen her finish what exactly do you want her to be shy of oga. This gender that betrayed Jesus so confuse.

officialwdhtv:
Man who built home on Inlaws land uproots and moves the home after their divorce.

#wetindeyhappentv

Source:

https://fb.watch/jMK-aUy7hl/


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHPU32SeYA8

It can only be God.[left][/left]

EriMma1:
Please, people are criticizing this prankster for doing this. Is he to be blamed for the girls looseness?

How can you be doing runs at your place of work and now everyone is saying the guy did wrong. Me I don't see any wrong here. If the girl was decent and well trained, she won't fall for this. So cheap. All her is on the money. Kai! Girls!!! who do us like this?

Let them keep getting disgraced until they change and begin to live a decent life.

Just watch how this girl was disgraced.

https://fb.watch/jMV-UYy__7/?mibextid=jf9HGS

Until who change.?? The he goat that can't control himself wants to sleep with a lady doing her job. This gender that betrayed jesus won't stop amusing me.

Trendygurly:
I hear !! Thanks for the suggestion.
But I wouldn’t want to put my family in mystery the way I’ve put myself!!
I’ll bounce back
This phase shall pass
I’ll testify
Bookmark this !!
I’m not the first to feel this way and I won’t be the last!!

You're just delusional. Imagine the rubbish you're spewing out. Now I see that your village people are taking possession of you. I pity the poor father of the child you killed.

Trendygurly:
If you were like me thinking Abortion will make your life feel better then you’re in for a depressing ride!!.
I terminated a 6weeks old pregnancy because I didn’t want it
Hmmmm
I was being foolish and hopeless
Now I’m so regretting my actions
I feel so suicidal and the only way I can cope is by leaving it here. I’m such a selfish demon!!!
The gentleman responsible for it accepted it with all his might and Love but because of the demon In me I went ahead to tamper and terminate my a month baby!!
I feel sorry for my darling fiancé too cause I don’t deserve him!! He begged me to birth the child and give it to his mum but i vehemently refused !!

I don’t think I can ever recover from this life disastrous act!!
My baby was suppose to be due by 28th November 2023
If you ask me why I did what I did
I can’t even explain!!

God doesn’t make mistakes.. He knew I needed this child in my life because Apart from my Fiancé nobody cares about me and then he gave me this beautiful creature to love me and care for me and I had the nerve to discard it like a piece of thrash … Ahhhhh Lord have mercy on me !!

The painful part is I don’t even know if the abortion was successful cause the blood I saw wasn’t what the quack nurse that did it for me said!! Now I’m on a cross road whether the abortion was complete or whether I’m still expecting a damaged and disfigured child!!

Please don’t be like me
Don’t follow my path
I hope I recover from this and if I don’t so be it.

Sorry for yourself. God have mercy on you.

Lovilla:
trash..

if i am to be in my sister's shoe, i would ve poisoned that girl on a lowkey.

Lol with this comment I know now

Lovilla:
My married sister kept complaining how thier house help is about to bring her marriage to the mud.

She said her husband is no longer giving her attention like before just few months the maid arrived.

The maid is taking over her marriage slowly, as her husband only eats food prepared by the house girl.

She has been crying all day.
She said she has tried everything possible to chase the girl away but her husband always kicks against it.

She is afraid of loosing her marriage.

Please, what must she do?

What the hell is she doing with a house help. I bet she's an igbo woman lazy set of.

Supremos:
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid02jHfApvKFCsyqYi4hbuoCRgWCqe8a3pE6zzgsh9q8cnK71hoAmoWnNe6C6kpdCybtl&id=100000479373538&mibextid=Nif5oz

You mustn't stay in corpers lodge. Get a good apartment abeg suffer no dey tire you??

nedekid:
Let me use myself as example. When we started my wife was not working as she was still doing her studies. So expenses was on me. Once she started working expenses reduced. Nothing like allowance, money to do hair etc. Why will she ask when she is working? Even today, over 22 years later, it's basic things I do, eg service her car. She personally gives the children daily school money for years I don't even know how much while I pay the school fees.
The food we ate over the weekend, I do not even know how it was made. We have basic foodstuff, but she must have bought the eggs, turkey and gizzard.
The last time we renued visas, she organized and paid for everything up to priority service. I bought the aline tickets and sponsored the trip. What I mean is that it should be a mutual team work. Not the one a woman marries and feels everything is the "man's work". I hear that happens alot in Igbo households.
I know a lady that is having marital issues. She has a very good job, has money, it is from I mouth I heared this "man's work" for the first time. Even if she buys toothpaste in house, soap, pepper, onions, she will add it on the list to and present to the hubby that works in the same organization with her. Ofcourse they have problems as the guy looks and treats with disgust.
My brothers wife works and earns well, but same thing, he must pay for everything. What does she then do with her money? She went for a 2 weeks training and demanded 300k from Bros to pay. I told him not to, but as a mumu man, he hid to pay. Her 1 naira does not enter the house. He is complaining but cannot do something about it. Problem loading for him.

Like you said in your first paragraph 'you were in charge of her studies expenses and homefront' and now she working. Any mentally stable person would have to reciprocate/appreciate I guess that's what she's doing by taking charge of some bills. You're taking care of your parents at old age not because of anything but to show a sign of gratitude for what they did for you while growing up. Your wife is just reciprocating. Your case is quite different from the poster though.

nedekid:
Hmm, If you have that mindset of "that is your job" . All I can say is wahala wahala.
Note that unless the person is wealthy like them Obi Cubana and his goons etc, then my reference to wahala wahala is valid.
Note this is a young couple just starting, the man earns, the wife earns. He pays for food and runs the expenses, yet still will pay her allowance. Every expense she makes, she expects a refund.
Na marriage be that?

You don't know how Cubans started so that bring him up in this situation. I'm not saying he shouldn't ask her to assist but its too early. Imagine you just had a girlfriend and all she does is ask for money when the relationship is still fresh what will you call her I guess you will say she's a leech. Everything is all about reasoning.

BarrElChapo:
Koba akuko onye mgbu. Go out there and see your gender hustling and making their coins and spoiling themselves, you want to be collecting pocket money ontop your salary.

Your useless insults will go back to you. Onye nkuyere

Femmyfamous4u:
Alright thank you.

However, times and times again, I have shown capabilities in all of this and as well as her family.

I'm seeing it from your angle though that even if we earn same income, her money is hers and mine is ours.

You can put it that way (according to your last
Paragraph). However when its time to get investments in terms of properties or starting up a building/business project you should bring it up with her and make her see reasons why she can/should put in financially.

EriMma1:
This is why I'll never marry an average income earner because they can complain and press calculator? See all of them here. Calculator pressers.
That is why i advise men not to get married until they have a high income job, to avoid all this kind of headache but no, that small thing dangling under can't wait to start eating what the big boys are eating. They just jump enter marriage with 120k salary and start punching calculator here and there.

So when it comes to giving your wife money, mathematics go enter am?. You can't give her money to maintain that same body you mount every now and then? Na him you turn financial expert seeker/adviser.? SMH. This generation of men have lost it.

Na this kind things make marriage no dey hungry me again because if all a man can offer is to panel-beat my body and not care whether knots and bolts don dey loose or find it difficult to give me when I request, then ill rather live singularly, work and take care of myself without stress or any body knacking me up and down with no benefits or care. abi you wan dey chop me make i no chop you back? Damn! Na wa o.

Oga, give her pocket money. Na that one she go take know say she marry. Men are supposed to spend on their wife's, working class or not. That is why igbos name their wifes Oriakum, "eater of my wealth". It is your obligation to spend on her. I'm guessing you're Yoruba otherwise mouth no go gree you come talk this kind thing outside. I'm sure all your supporters here na Yoruba men. Kobojunkie number one.

Exactly. He should show that he's capable. An igbo can't be dissing out the useless question he's asking.

Kobojunkie:
1. She works and she makes good money so you are not married to a "liability" yet you want to live as though you are, why?

2. She works and makes good money so you are not married to a "liability" yet you want to live as though you are, why?

Did you know that if you and your wife shared the bills 50-50 or even 60-40, while you are both responsible for the upkeep of your family, it will also help you both make wise decisions for the sake of your marriage and family - number of children you can both handle, how much to put aside as a couple for their future, emergency savings, business investments, etc.?

It's too early in the marriage to be sharing bills. I'm not saying she shouldn't assist bet he should show that he's capable and when she sees that he can't then she can come in.

Femmyfamous4u:
Hello all, I need to know if I'm doing some things right or over reacting.

My wife and I just married some months ago and we just spend here and there on stuffs. I bought food stuffs in the house and told her I will place her on 40k monthly to cover for soups and all and I expect her to add to it if it's not enough.

I foot all bills- house rent, Power, and all . She earns a decent 6 figures salary also which is slightly higher than mine without the allowances I get.

She expects me to still give her another allowance apart from the 49k I give her for food.

Each time she buys stuff in the house she always want me to pay back in full; most times, I just pay a part of it which she always frowns and complains about.

It appears she has a notion that her money is her money and mine is ours.

My income is more than hers though.

Do you think I should still give her personal pocket money?

That is your job. You're responsible for every bills in the house and also for her allowances. Moreover the 4ok is too small with the hike of prices in the market.
However she can decide to assist, I guess she feels it's to early to be footing Bill's when you just got married you have to show her that you're capable of taking care of the house alone before kids start coming.

accordadoga26:
This will serve as a lesson to the Obidients who think they can always bully everyone on the cyberspace.

What exactly has this got to do with obidients?? This is a clear example of cyberbullying.

Nsogbu001:
I'm from Ebonyi state and it has been from hand to mouth. No long stories. This picture shows how God transformed my life

What country is that? They look like koreans.

Nsogbu001:
Hahaha
I'm an EX-SEMINARIAN SHAAA

Hmmmm. Why didn't you continue. You like woman lol

truthCoder:
True.

In addition, some models would stop working or not work in the long run. How do you want to survive in Nigeria when you simply cannot charge your customers fees. You want to compete with Opay et al? Ordinarily sms alerts that GTB charges once in a while, Nigerians wont let Twitter rest.

We have more fintechs here than in any other African country.

Someone commented that why do i need to have 1,000 ways to pay for a yam.

Unfortunately, many of these fintechs are the same solution with no new innovation. If you are planning to start a fintech and your major solution is still deposit and withdrawal, copying kuda, opay, palmpay and the 150 others, then you might fail.

I just downloaded opay app how do I go about registration?

Adebisi0070:
Good Day N'Ls..
Finally, I fixed the bike I bought last week. Driving my okada today and I was able to raise about 3k!

While riding under the hot sun, I was flagged down by this tall well looking, fair guy.. He told me his location and we agreed for transfer, he's to pay me 200 naira.

While on trans, he told me we should branch an eatery, he needs to get something for himself.

Baba went inside after I packed the bike, came out with 3 meatpile.

All of a sudden, He gave me 1meat-pie! Claiming he loves the way I drive.

We got to our destination, immediately a boy of about 10years+ came to him and whispered something to him, immediately he became uncomfortable.

He asked me to give him 2k cash that he'll transfer it to me with my okada money and that it's a matter of life and death.

I gave this guy and he ran into a compound, though he told me he'll be back in right now.

I'm still there and is more than an hour and bros is no where to be found.

I'm at home now thinking about my loss of 2500, this life sha..

You're a novice. But how on earth would you accept a transfer of 200 naira and still borrowed him 2k even when he hasn't paid you. I guess he hypnotized you with the meatpie.

Ehinjuola:
My name is Dimeji (not real name tho), I'm in my final lap in one of the prestigious uni in Nigeria.

It happens my fiancee and I have been dating for long now, recently she discovered that she missed her period (though I'm not happy with it and at the same time I don't want ab*rtion) and couple the fact that I really love this lady and I want future with her.

I want to quickly do her introduction before the bump is visible n I have taken a bold step by taken my parents to hers for unofficial intro before the real intro which has been set for next two months.

But recently I do observe that she do post on her status about praying not to choose wrongly in term of relationship, (she has once asked me whether I don't feel we are rushing things in one of our conversation one time like that) plus the fact that whenever I called her recently the vibe is not there any longer, this is the person we are both serious with the relationship oo Infact she's the one that's pushing thing initially.

My question now is that, Is it anxiousness or marriage phobia or early pregnancy symptoms or she's just confuse or the feeling of not been ready that's worrying her? (She will be 26 next month)

She has her fear maybe you're not husband material or she's pregnant for someone else who refused to take responsibility and she decided to put it on you thereby giving you attitude because she wish the other person accepted.

Corridon:
As an indigene of Ogun, I must confess that this is our culture so no qualms.

Are you for real??

Ehinjuola:
Hello NLders.....

I have this issue I'm dealing with which seems to be taking ages now.

There are these stubborn black spots in my face which refuse to go after using different antibacterial creams yet the spots are still much visible, will have to wait till dark before I go out.

Help! , its really killing me slowly as well as demoralized me. Even my confidence is no more there as I typed this.

In between I'm oily skin person.

You didn't use antibacterial creams rather you used bleaching creams. Antibacterial creams won't give you black spots.

ManirBK:
This man selling Herbal Medicine, carrying a Big Alive Lizard on his shoulder in Birnin Kebbi old town. He didn't allow me to snap His picture but I quickly snap His picture when he turns back.

So what should we do with the pictures now?

IamANigerianMan:
Madam I feel your pain, the worst thing that can happen to a man or woman is to married and regret, when you discovered this before marriage why did you go ahead? Human being cannot change except God decided to change him or her... My advice for you is to keep praying to God who can change human to change your husband Prov. 21:1

LOL...did I hear you say pray? Just imagine she's your sister will you tell her to pray. Even if she do dry fasting he won't change. You can't change a man that doesn't want to repent.

Dearlove2me:
Alright. I'm thinking maybe going to spend some time in my family house but I'm thinking of going with all my things

Don't leave any pin or a trace of where you're going because the people he's owning will come for u.

Dearlove2me:
The truth is right now, I feel like going somewhere for a while. I feel like I need rest. Somewhere I can forget about all my problems and breathe a fresh air.
My husband has not been honest with me since the beginning of this marriage and I doubt if this is an attitude of a man that loves

He has always been in debt even before I married him. and he wouldn't let me know what he do with the money he keeps borrowing from people. Even my friends I introduced to him, he is owning them and can't pay back.

The bad side is, he borrows and stop picking their calls not respond nicely to them.
He behalves badly to them.
I'm suspecting he's into some kind of addiction that demands money. Maybe gambling but he wouldn't tell me.
He's constantly on his phone.

He is owning loan app everywhere. To the extent that the app had to send hurrible messages to his contact's lists including his bosses, office colleagues and my relatives.
It's so embarrassing and tiring.
He has apologized several times that I should give him time to work on himself to stop an addiction, but he refused to explain what it is. Claiming that I might leave him if I know.
But he has not changed abit.
We are always hungry in this house. No baby food for my 6months old baby, no pampers and everything is total struggle. I quit my job last year but I'll soon start job search once my baby grow a little.
In this house, If I don't look for food, then, we starve, I don't look for means of getting pampers, food, wears,then my baby will suffer, because his daddy is not capable of providing anything for us. It's so annoying.

I have dreams before I married him, but right now, I feel lost. There's no romance, no love, no affection in this marriage anymore, as I wouldn't even let him touch me because of the stress, suffer he constantly brings on us.

Money I raised to start up a business, (340k) I ended up using it to pay for his debt last two months because the people were always coming to embarrass us in the house and neighbors were coming to pleade on our behalf. I had to clear up the loan, yet he couldn't explain what he did with the money.
With that start up capital, I would have been growing by now, but here I am. Still at the zero point.

I'm really tired
I'm so confused here.
What should I do?
What would you advise?

Leave his sorry a** madam. He borrows money and you his lovely wife sort out his debts. Let me laugh first.
Don't tell me you still make love after staving you food.

Anyway I know one thing is they no fit advise woman wey dey in love continue with your inherited struggles .

Houseontherock1:
Wow! Never knew she had a baby

Yeah...she said it that she had a baby through surrogacy.

NwekeUG:
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid0kdQUfrg88RsymoiajXZE5eXNawcr63G8V998b343cGB548XwSHjiCUtEm1qGGqcfl&id=100064596373289&mibextid=Nif5oz

Hausa ritualist enters government and starts stealing like the country is theirs.