₦airaland Forum

So, the other day... I entered an elevator and met this pretty young lady. I tried to engage her in a conversation and decided to start with the most basic and obvious question of all... Simply asked her "Hi, are u heading down?"

And she went... "God forbid!... It is u dat will go down, I am heading up, biko, in d name of Jesus!"

I was shocked beyond words oo

Lmao.... Feel free to add urs jare

opeaceo:
Yes oooo, "I dey your back" , the queues in some banking hall can make you loose hope and when they start with their grammar "there is no network", I go just tire.

Lolz.... I so hate that punch-line eeeh

importexpert:
lol, hahhah. this is very true. op which category did you fall in?

Hehehe.... Bros "na I dey ur back team" oo

6 sets of People You Meet in Nigerian Banks

1. The Pen Borrowers: They never have a pen. These people are quick to say, "Please, borrow me your Biro" and once you give them your pen, just forget about it because that's the last of them you'll see, except if you're extremely lucky.

2. The "I dey ur Back" Team: Immediately they enter the bank, even before picking a slip (withdrawal or deposit), they are already asking who the last person on queue is. And before you answer, they'll say "I'm at your back." In most cases, 9 people will tell you, "Bros, I dey ur back." At the end of the day, you end up settling dispute between the person wey dey d back of person wey dey ur back.

3. The No protocol team: This kind of people don't even care who the last person on queue is. "First come first served" don't make any meaning to them. Immediately they come in,they just walk up to the manager, who offers them a seat, and within 5 mins they've completed their transactions while u go still dey dere dey grow grey hair for queue. (Diaris God oooo!)

4. The Bank Door rejectees: These category will always have problem with the bank door. You'll see them removing their belts, car keys, mobile phones etc and yet the machine keeps shouting "Bros , pls go back". Oga, next time come into bank naked! Biko, he go allow u in... LOL!

5. The slip wasters: These kind of people can waste slip 4 Nigeria! To fill the withdrawal slip or deposit slip na JAMB questions? You'll see them cancelling, tearing, squeezing & taking another one. To write common 3,785 Naira in words na gobe. The so called "undergraduates" are the leaders of this group. Na wa o.

6. The Voice of the People: These are the rebel leaders of the banking hall. "The queue is not moving na". "Yes, It's true. These people are just lazy". "I mean, this is arrant nonsense! I've been here for 59 mins 22Secs! This bank is a crap. I will close down my account and find a better bank" Come tomorrow, you go see am again for queue wit big goggle... speaking grammar. Bros, na only you waka come?

Okay, which group do you belong to in these 6? No lie o. Remember, diaris God o!

Hello everyone.
I studied Biochemistry ( currently serving). Please I'd like to know the sort of professional courses one can undergo to pursue a career in QC/QA. Thanks.
Jimtiger4@gmail.com

Wat is there Dis has been happening since d days of Jacob...

This space is not for sale!

Beware of 419

....and my son Tope

The cat is moving in a straight line ni..... And it will continue to do so with uniform acceleration,unless it is acted upon by an external force

raumdeuter:
Rochas is one of the few ibos who have sense

One of the few ibos who have sense ..... Shey if i tell ur papa to swear before amadioha say him get sense,dem go say i don start ba

himkers:
Before it was 3pcs in a can for 100naira, now it's 2pcs for 150naira. It's pure cheating

And the oil don reduce ni

wetin God go judge plenty oo ....e go reach Steve turn to receive judgement,instead na Eve go showcase

Who get d sentence arising from the judgement ni

AsanwaKC:
I de suspect one babe for my hood...the painful thing be say na she Abi him de catch all the correct bobos

I feel your pain.....

No be to dey here dey make noise ...... Go to nairabet and bet either on Goodluck or Buhari to win ..... Put ur money where ur mouth is!

Inec training here for Niger state,dem ask ''who is eligible to vote?'' ... People just dey shout ''anyone with pvc'', ''anyone who has been authenticated'' etc ....... Smiling in my mind, I just chip in '' anyone with pvc and/or crude weapon liable to cause harm'' ...... Even if na razor blade!

Ewuro4:
See bush Pipu

He's removing the Gather from his bride's thigh, and will eventually throw it to his friends to catch ( like bouquet tradition)

Hehe

Ur case bad pass oo .... Which one come be ''gather'' again. When e change from garter to gather ....... U must be from somewhere I know in Bayelsa #ButThat'sNoneOfMyBusiness

And these are the sort of issues where I obey the biblical injunction of not judging God's ministers/messengers ..... Let God be the judge and reward each man according to his works!

daveP:
Fallicio add hominem

his Premise is invalid, therefore his argument is totally invalid!!

Bros ..... Do u even know the meaning of ''ad hominem''

kestolove95:
boss am a nigeria...until we stop taking tribes and. religion sseriux..onli den nigeria will move forward wats dia if I insult yoruba or igbo..i bet u if I tell u ma. Language u will. B suprix. But lemme giv u a clue...whch tribe is yemi alade?..dats also ma tribe.

[b][/b]


Bros ...... How only u take be Nigeria na

yahx:
when I say drugs I mean even wt weed. Diazepan solution cocaine just mention

Bros ..... U don dey long for this business #ExcessExperience

thaoriginator:
Which of the game reserves you escape from? Sambisa or Yankari?

Lol ....... U be 2gb RAM oo

thaoriginator:
Before nko? Wetin we dey pay them for?

Fish brain ..... Oya go fight make we pay you. As ur life dey worthless ni

I need more lies please ...... As to why I've not yet accepted my dad's friend request on facebook #Na dis kind thing I dey try prevent oo