₦airaland Forum

uote author=Starz825 post=121712150]How many ex you sef get....

Whenever any of.my ex calls me...

Two of huna go dey ok[/quote]Just a few sir. Nothing is existing between us anymore since his emergence

Good day everyone. Pls, I seek your respected and polite opinion. I seem to have gotten myself into the most difficult, complicated yet sweetest relationship ever and I'm stuck and helpless- can't even quit cos I love him but can't have myself trust this guy though he's good.
I am a young lady doing well for myself with a thriving business. Last two years, this young man in the company of his colleagues ( corps members) came to buy some stuff in my shop. I have long finished my service though in Ekiti state. I welcomed them warmly and tended to all of them very well and they bought lots from me. I liked all of them, both him, the other guy and the lady.
He came to the market again and bought some things from me and I think we exchanged contact and we were communicating through the phone. Our communication started getting better and fulfilling. I think I started falling in love with him anyway. One certain evening, he called and we were talking, I asked him to come over to the shop and he obliged. I was lovestruck seeing him at the Tower of the market approaching my shop. He sat beside me and I felt the aura of love and sweetness over me. Was wishing the feeling and bliss doesn't vanish but night was fast approaching. He offered to help me pack when I was seeing him off but I declined. We kept communicating over the phone and seeing occasionally whenever he comes to buy stuff. Then on the 25th of Dec. 2021. I visited him for the first time, I got pretty comfortable with him and spent some days. He later travelled for the New year but always in constant communication with me through video and voice calls. When I was spending time with him, he asked about my relationship status which I answered complicated. Reason being that I just separated but not done with my guy some months before I met him. You know this situation na- there's a misunderstanding and the problem came from my guy, so I kept my distance from him at the moment, though he was trying to mend fences but I was hurt and tried to avoid him at the during those times.
So, when this new guy came back from the holiday. We started dating normally. He shared his relationship history with me and asked for mine. I told him mine. I loved him and still. Nobody should mistake I took him as a rebound cos I loved him more than my ex and I have actually healed before I met him, although, I didn't formally separate from my ex. I loved this new guy naturally without reasons and I like him also for these reasons:
He's an extremely neat guy. He's mature, independent and responsible( he saw himself through school). He has a good heart. He's selfless, gentle, caring, loving and does his chores all by himself including cooking even when am around. Infact, he's a modernized man. He told me love is freedom. He's a good man.
His bad sides are: he's too jealous. He's clingy anyway and always want to know my movements. He has a fighting spirit- not physically but don't yield easily during arguments. I was able to speak to his soul,he was teary and sober and told me he became that challenging because of the hard time he passed through after he lost he's dad at age 14, with no support from anywhere. He became hard and won't take the opinion of anybody in his life because no one was there in his life except God and love from his mum. But he promised to improve which he's keeping up to.
Luckily for him,upon expiration of his service year he was retained at the Ministry he served as a site supervisor since last year cos he studied Quantity Surveying.
How I think the fear and lack of trust developed:
1. Telling about his past experience with his ex and occasionally saying things about her offends me. He still keeps her best pictures up till now. I complained about it and he moved the pictures to his phone's dual space. Note: he was the one that first started checking my phone and was asking questions. Claiming I put him in the dark concerning my ex- Francis cos he was still calling and chatting me trying to mend fences. I told this new guy that I never put him in the dark that I told him my relationship status was complicated never said I was single like he told me. He keeps saying if he didn't find out by himself, he wouldn't have known about Francis. Mind you nothing is going on between me and Francis now but he takes it that am cheating on him whereas I'm only trying to lay off Francis. He asks questions about almost every call and chats he reads in my phone. So, he planted that phone checking seed in me. I haven't been like that before.
2. Refusing to remove her pictures raises concern for me because it makes me angry and jealous. Those pictures were taken when street smiled on him. So he said he appreciated people that were there in his life when it was tough. The same girl still left him after afterwards Sha.
3. Being aware of his fantasy and wishful thinking. He likes big ass ladies. Though he never cheated on me but being aware of his preference is disturbing. I'm a slim fit with moderate ass. He testified to loving big ass ladies but still assured it's not all that matters to him. Meanwhile, he has loads porn videos of big ass ladies and nude pictures of big ass ladies.
4. My cousin's (pastor) assertion of him though from a spiritual point of view is a course for concern. He meant he's an opportunist. That he coming for me because of my little achievement not out of love.
5. My dad's reluctance in accepting him when he tendered drinks though I understand where he's coming from: difference in ethnic group. His mother is very cool with me and ask of me whenever she calls him.
6. Being hostile to me: trying to avoid what happened to him in his past repeat itself. I feel he's punishing me for his ex's betrayal.
7. He does not want public marriage. He have asked for the list(dowry) but he always put it first that Igbo marriage rite is very expensive and he fears he may not be able to meet up with the requirements. My question: will a man who really want you be fizzled or bothered by long existing tradition?
8. Using this remark of "imagine if he's the one still talking to his ex, how would I feel " whenever any of my ex calls me.
Please, house help me analyse and draw give your verdicts. I mean your submission.
I am so messed psychologically. I can't even make an intelligent decision right now. I'm so confused, compromised and stuck

I was aggrieved as anyone of you before but lately there is this conviction in me that BAT will outdo Buhari. BAT is an all- rounder( can lobby, understands the economy, a good strategist, and creative as well). Let's give him a try. He will perform better than his immediate predecessor.

Pls go and run proper test for your prostrate

First off, it is not uncommon that a- 16 year old young girl should indulge in sex without knowing the repercussion of such indulgence. The blame still fall on the parent or caregiver for failing to protect her on the status of her being a minor. She is still under your care and custody and you failed her. That's why I blame our culture that stiffs reception to Sexuality education. Most African homes shy away or vilify sexuality education, but we must embrace it. I mean home based sexuality education, I said Sexuality education and not sex education because Sexuality education encompasses sex education, knowledge of one's body, sex orientation and behaviour. Sexuality education is taught age-wisely to children right after birth till adulthood. Children are the vulnerable population owing to the fact that their cognitive ability is not fully developed. So, you as the caregiver must live up to the task of protecting them not just physically but also emotionally. Else they will be preyed upon. " Giving information is not giving permission" . At her age she's supposed to have learnt about her body( I mean womanhood) and the consequences of engaging in risky behaviour.
You can mail me at gilbertjoy63@gmail.com or send me a pm here for more information on what parents should know to enable them carry out effective sexuality education
You can also get daily or weekly tip on sexuality education as well as buying a resource book authored by myself

These are possible symptoms of HIV you can't neglect. The symptoms are as a result of what is called Seroconversion which takes place a few weeks after exposure to HIV. Your body is producing those symptoms as a result of antibody- antigen reaction in your body system for the first few weeks. Though the symptoms will decline after some time and you may feel nothing again after viral attachment to host cell. Go for a comprehensive Retroviral screening test in a hospital.
Though bear in my these symptoms are not confirmatory test for HIV as other infections can present same symptoms.