₦airaland Forum

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* My wedding still holds this month.
* I never brought myself to tell my bride to be about this episode, As I was advised against doing such from majority of the elders aware of the case. (Don't judge me please)
Maybe one day I will...if ever.

Thanks & God Bless.

Finally, I'm able to say this:

* She was indeed pregnant.
* It wasn't mine
* The mother was innocent of the whole episode as she only got to know after she confessed to her.
* She only just told her mom whom the real owner of the pregnancy was (her ex)
* Unfortunately, it has been aborted.

I have learnt a lot from this ordeal.

DeUrch:
You are not responsible for the pregnancy if at all she is even pregnant.
Secondly, the person that spoke with you on phone was not her mum.
All was a carefully planned tactic to false charge you into marrying her, because she has studied you quite well and has seen your unnerved trait.

She is. I have been to her house to meet her in person. I made it clear to her I am not a kid to run away from a pregnancy but I will not marry her daughter cos I doubt it is mind. But she just kept repeating, did you sleep with her or not? Which I said a firm yes to.

dochenaj:
No one has sex by accident. Every sexual encounter is always premeditated. You had fantasized about having sex with her one time or the other and eventually when the occasion presented you couldn't stop yourself because your brain had long decided on it.

Now you have damaged your relationship with your fiance all for some 5 minutes of pleasure.


However I think it was a setup, but since you had sex with her you can't escape the consequence. Sex on 30th and pregnant on the 12th. That's fishy. She has not even had a chance to miss her period before going to confirm pregnancy which means she was sure she was going to be pregnant. Like she already knew.

Remind her that there is paternity test and that if the baby is yours that you'll take full responsibility.

You made your bed, now lie on it.

Flee fornication.

I repeat, it wasn't. I am not proud of what I did and I totally regret my actions. Yes, I did have sex with her and there was no reason I would deny that even to her mum was asked.

Since we are both adults here, this was what really happened.

Mid way into the movie, where Bella & Edward were kissing, she simply asked how those oyinbos kiss in movies without actually getting moved at all. I just answered, how can? with all the cameras and people behind the set? Then we talked about the kiss and kisses for a while, next thing she asked if kissing was that much of a thing for me and I said Nope. I joked about how professional I could be on set too if I was an actor. That it was just a kiss and their profession na, that I could even kiss her and not feel anything. She said lai_lai. The next thing, she got up and we kissed for about 3mins or so. I was just indifferent. That was when i should have been weary of the evil to happen.
Next thing, she was like she would get my weak point by force jokingly. The rest is history.

And as for the condoms, I am not denying the fact that me and my fiancee are sexually active, so I do have condoms at home. Though, we stopped having sex since we started the 6 months courtship couselling program the church.

It was totally not premeditated.

I am very glad I voiced out. I feel much better getting this off my chest. Thanks to everyone.

Meeting with my family (my mum in person) to tell her first hand how I messed up. I think I have found enough strength to tell it all to her.

We are both adults, she's 27yrs and I am 33yrs.

RedpillAnalyst:
1) You can shift the marriage forward a bit. Your marriage is starting on a rough path if your wife is aware of it. Most likely won't go well, so be cautious.

2) There is pre-birth DNA Test, but expensive and has to be at a later trimester in the pregnancy.


3) You must be a good man. Women know guys who are good step daddies or good father who won't smell paternity fraud.


4) Fornication never results in anything positive.


Bonus: Where is her dad? Is her mum still married to her father? If she is a single mum. They are both scammers.

She has a step dad. This is her mom's 3rd marriage not that it means anything or relates to what's at hand.

Connoisseur:
You know you are not responsible for this pregnancy, the lady knows too.

My advice:
BE FIRM

Nobody can force you to marry a lady you don't want to. Inform the lady and her family that you are willing to take care of the pregnancy till birth until you do a DNA test. If the baby turns out to be yours, you will continue to take responsibility but you cannot marry the lady.
This will put any ideas the lady have of hooking you on hold.

To your fiancee, you have to tell her everything. Tell her you have no intentions of marrying this girl in question even if the baby turns out to be yours. It's her choice whether to continue with you or not. It's a hard decision but it has to be done.

Then, you have to prepare yourself for the battle ahead; mentally, physically and emotionally. You'd have to withstand all sorts of intimidation and emotional blackmail for the next couple of months. Believe me, this will still pass one way or the other.

Amen... Thanks.

ALLNIGERIANSMAD:
Oga go and take your responsibility and leave devil out of this. Just listening to your self. You watch movies together when your fiancee is not around!! You need slaps

I do not blame the devil, I did this, I slept with her not the devil.

stunning324:
Stop lying to yourself that there’s no premonition from you before inviting het over to your place. We’re not kids. Na chop and run don hook you, as she dey smart pass you. Just carry your baby.�

The bolded isn't true. My regrets or guilt isn't that I'm getting married or got cut, I regretted from the moment the deed was done. Went as far as cutting off all communications with her which we both agreed upon. Honestly, how it happened that night remained a mystery to me cos it never, I repeat, never crossed my mind such a thing would happen. I even inform my fiancee I was having a friend over for the weekend (though I never mentioned the gender) so I wouldn't be bored during our causal chats.

Josephamstrong1:
Go ahead with your marriage plans

Quite difficult. I think I should break it to the lady's family I am getting married.

goodamerican:
That it ―you sleeping with this other lady― is your first slip in the 2-years and 3-months of being in a relationship with your fiancée doesn't mean you get a free pass. You're not supposed to have any slips at all, definitely not when you're in a committed relationship with or about to marry another. Tbh, you chatting with this other lady about "anything" (an emotional affair) is you slipping way before this happened, which you saw nothing wrong with and which you most definitely would've continued into your marriage had this not happened now.

Whether this pregnancy is yours or not, your fiancée deserves to know what happened. You'd want to make sure you're walking into the marriage with no skeletons in your closet and with a clean conscience. However she takes it is something you've to prepare for. If you cared about protecting your relationship with her in the first place, you would've cut off this your friendship relationship with this other lady long before this happened.

Lesson learnt the hardest of ways & I really pray for God's guidance in overcoming this trail.
I have been so reluctant towards moving on with wedding preparations & my fiancee on few occasions did ask what was wrong, I simply blamed it on the whole preparation thingy and the day fast approaching.

I do appreciate the advice. Thank you

Ishilove:
Congratulations bro

Please, what's with the congratulations for God's sake ? Okay I messed up, so what next?

Ginaz:
you have to come clean with your wife. there's no way to get out of the mess you have given room to manifest. she has to know then call an elder with wisdom in whom you respect to handle the pregnant girl and her mother. DNA test should be done.

Telling her is a big problem I just have to say the truth, I'm thinking of going through her mother whom I have a very close relationship with or our counsellor? I can't take back what I have done but now I am cork sure I ain't responsible for the pregnancy.

It was just this once. I deserve all that's thrown at me at this moment but for the records, I have NEVER cheated on my fiancee in the last two years we have been together, not for once. But then again, this means nothing after this one slip especially knowing fully well I was even getting married in days. I feel worse already okay. Let he who is without sin...

MrBrownJay1:
pregnancy test positive 12 days after having sex?!?!?! what kind of pregnancy is that??!!? bro, the babe was either pregnant already and istrying to pin someone else's baby on you and/or she is NOT pregnant and just want to blackmail you into marrying her with this fake pregnancy story....either way, you will probably lose your gf in the same process, and hopefully that will be a great lesson for you to learn.

either way, you have shown the world that you cant be trusted, unfaithful, deceitful and lack control. what person in their right mind would want to marry someone like that?!?!

BTW if your girl goes to watch movies in a cozy setting with dudes, would you like that?!?!?

It is well. Thank you.

Ishilove:
Op RecadMe, you are a bot. I don chop ban two times on top your mata.

All you commenters, comment without quoting the op to avoid getting banned by Aunty Spam Butt

Unfollows thread*

Thanks for the observation.

Saintmary:
I don't mean to make you feel bad, in fact I typed those things so that you can know the danger of adultery in marriage.


What is done is done, ask God to forgive you, restore you and ask for help so you won't put your spouse in danger anymore.


As for the pregnancy, tell her you will take responsibility after DNA test, that's after delivery if she wishes to keep it.


I wish you all the best.

Thank you. I do feel better spilling this out. Honestly these past weeks have been terrible. Talking about it here make me feel slightly relieved.

Baronthecelebri:
you see, when they tell you guys to be careful with women, you'll be claiming sharp guy. From your story you're not the father, she was pregnant before she came to you. Listen when a woman give you free thing she has an evil agenda. Swallow the redpill, stand your ground and don't be a SIMP

Thanks for the advice.

Baronthecelebri:
you see, when they tell you guys to be careful with women, you'll be claiming sharp guy. From your story you're not the father, she was pregnant before she came to you. Listen when a woman give you free thing she has an evil agenda. Swallow the redpill, stand your ground and don't be a SIMP

Thanks for the advice.

frozen70:
The issue here is not a new trick

You already had a marriage plan going on

Go ahead and inform your wife to be and continue with your marriage plans

As for the lady, you have to le the her know that, you are not sure you are responsible for the pregnancy

But if she insist, you will have to run a DNA test after the child is born and you have nothing again to say

If her mother insist on seeing you tell her the same thing in a polite manner

That doesn't mean that you won't take care of her while the pregnancy is on

Don't ever make any promises of marriage to her no matter the pressure

With all the above
DNA will prove if it's your child or not and if it's your child, then be ready to take care of the child while the child remains with the mother

She on her own side, knows the true father of the child

It's now left for her to keep the child that's thats if she is 100% sure is your child

Or take the pregnancy to the real owner

Or terminate the pregnancy because she knows that it's not yours

Then she will come up with the story that she had miscarriage

Don't advice her to terminate it

She knows what to do with it and she knows the real owner

I have made it clear to her mum, I have no intentions of marrying her daughter & we never for once even discussed US. We were simply just friends. Yes i know, sound so stupid of me, but that's just the truth. It just happened and I told the mother just that without mincing words. But she just kept saying BUT DID YOU SLEEP WITH HER YES OR NO? I felt terrible...

Romanoff:
You are not responsible for that pregnancy.

You'd need at least 12 days before a missed period before you can be pregnant or even start "feeling somehow".

There's no pregnancy test that can say how far along she is, only an ultrasound can do that and she can never be two weeks pregnant.

She should be at least 4 weeks and some days pregnant with a thick endometrium with or without a gestational sac.

Take that lady to do an ultrasound in a good facility. Only an ultrasound sound can be accurate on dating a pregnancy. Last menstrual period isn't reliable due to irregularities of menstrual cycle.

If after the scan, the dates correlate, it would be time to come clean to your fiancee and be ready to deal with the consequences.

Pregnancy starts from the first day of last period, that week is week 1. So the week after a missed period is week 5.

Thanks for this wonderful insight, a doctor friend just confirmed this to me.

I need help. Could she be saying the truth or she's trying to hook.

I'm in a very stable relationship and as a matter fact, I'll be getting married to the love of my world, the one whom my heart continuously long for daily in next month.

Nevertheless, there's this lady whom happened to be an old friend for about 2 years now. We've been very close chat buddies and virtually could discuss anything online to each other (I mean anything). On one occasion, she suggested we meet up at my place to watch a movie Twilight together. Well, since I wasn't doing anything in particular for the weekend and my fiance wasn't in town, why not? (Trust me, my intents was pure and genuine).

The Saturday came, and we did have a lovely time together until the devil struck. One thing led to another and we both ended up kissing and eventually had sex. I wasn't careless not to have not used a protection but I could remember the condom coming off at a Point and was quickly replaced with another new one. Trust me guyz, we both felt bad immediately after the incident and both apologized to one another and that was it.

Fast forward to the present, I got a call from her for the first time after that incident (I had to cut off all communication with her after what happened) and she broke the news to me that she was feeling a little different which prompted her to go do a test, and to my greatest shock, she said it came out positive, SHE IS PREGNANT!!!

How is this even possible? We made our precisely on the 30th of July and the test results shows she's about 2weeks pregnant (Note: the test results shows it was carried out on the 12th of August. Moreover, I never even released when the condom came off into her and we had to remove it. How is it possible?

Now, the mother called and even asked to see me in person that, the daughter already explained all that ensued between us, and I should come and let's discuss our next move, that no daughter of hers gives birth outside wedlock.

In all these, I am so confused. The honest truth is, I never told the lady in particular I was getting married in the month of September. My wife to be does know her as just a friend and that's all but kept my wedding plans away from the lady despite how opened we were to each other.

Nairalanders, I am so confused. I have cried, begged her, pleaded with her to come clean with me, but she insists I was the only one she meet within that time frame. Even in the presence of her mother, she kept asking her, are you sure? She kept insisting I was the only one she had sex with last month.

My world is presently on pause mode as I don't know what to thing anymore. But I am 99.9% sure I am not responsible for the pregnancy. I even requested she used my hospital for a second test and it still came out positive.

I am currently, planning on telling my wife to be the whole truth and before then, involve our counselling pastor. I can't bring myself to tell my family despite the fact her mother keep insisting she comes to see my mother.

My inner most being tells me I am been set up, because I remember vividly on that night, she kept insisting I remove the condom that it was hurting her but I insisted.

Could the pregnancy be truly mine? Do I come clean to my babe? Do I just runaway? So many questions and I am deeply depressed and sad on how I got myself into the terrible mess. At this moment, I deserve whatever insults is thrown at me. I truly deserve them, BUT I NEVER FOR ONCE DOUBT my love for my wife to be, I truly love her...