₦airaland Forum

Acidosis:
you sef, why is your husband 'lean'

Hahahahah no problem on a very Good day u will see how slim he is.

Ewuro4:
Nobody's ruling the need of grandparents for omugwo here but how to avoid cantankerous ones ... the need to be independent and be able to control your situation when life seems tough.
Yes people need help, after all nobody's an island. But when the available 'help' seems impossible and no go area, we should try and avoid it and make alternate plans around their scheduled life.

2. I went to school right after unplanned emergency CSection myself because I didn't want to retake the class and worked as well then but thank God hubby's schedule was flexible so he worked most evenings throughout school session. Though his mom came for couple weeks & that was it, we only had ourselves.

3. One can only entrust a willing family member to care for their children. I'd rather put my children in daycare than allow one cranky grandma mishandle them.

By the way , you have a good reason here, what's her own excuse, unable to change diapers?
Her husband told her not invite his mother, that speaks volume but she still insisted. she should continue spitting fire on NL instead of putting her stinky mouth to good use. Yenyenyen 'I want to confront my MIl' go and co front her now

Serves her right. Mannerless girl.

I have seen how mannered you are, clap for urself, inugo? I don't know why u are too sad and bittered, anyway its non of my biz. I thought u are a super woman? Y did u invite ur mil to come at first. Besides when u read try to read with understanding don't just rush and started typing like a fool. Get it right hubby suggested we invite Mil's sister instead of her. I know it's very unfair to her and it will bring serious trouble at the long run. Keep on talking trash like I said earlier its ur right OK? I know it serves me right therefore don't bother disturbing urself with dat. Nwanyi OMA inugo?

cococandy:
Honey I was just making an observation. pls leave me out of the angry talk.

I'm not fighting anyone.

BTW it's not that serious. I don't know why you got upset all of a sudden. Or maybe I do. lol .

Lolxxxx am not upset in anyway and can't be.

cococandy:
I just want to make an observation to you and Ewuro's post.
Sometimes people need help not out of laziness but out necessity.

I'll use myself for example. Going to school full time and working part time leaves me no chance to be home all day with my lil' one.
And of course DH can't resign from his job to sit with her all day. How will we survive? Therefore we need help.
I'd rather a family member stay with her than take her to strangers when she's just weeks old.

Everyone's situation is not the same.

Nnem don't mind them, they don't know what it means to deliver via CS. Am not all dat selfish and wicked to be tasking my hubby like dat. Imagine d first week u won't even bend down to carry ur baby not to talk of other things or maybe they want my hubby to leave his office and business because I delivered. Well I don't blame them everybody has his or her own right to rant and talk anyhow

Waoh Thank God. The dog tried shaa.

Ewuro4:
But you just did *evil laugh*

She's just what you need... Enjoy the ride sweetie

Thank you

Ewuro4:
wow... She must be dealing with you big time. Just what you need for this uncouth attitude of yours.




My dear same here, I learnt everything via online & common sense. Now I'm a pro and go to area mama.

The earlier couples stop relying on some retired cranky old folks (that are better off in their own homes) and start to take full responsibility for their own offsprings , the better.

These old women are here for vacation. That's what most people fail to grasp. They are not your maids! I just leave them be. My own mother said everyone should seer the number of wards they're capable of raising, if my own mother will utter such(which is by the way,true) , i wonder what my mil's thought process will be?

Everytime hubby and I watch the kids home videos , we are always proud of ourselves. We've weathered all seasons carrying our children around our waists all by ourselves through the years so NOBODY can come to my house and yarn rubbish nor talk to my children anyhow.

DILs should stop looking for trouble, being lazy and care for their own wards!

Dear, I don't need to reply you well because u don't have any sense of human in u. So senseless and selfish.

Hahahahaha Ear infection? He will soon be deaf.

EbukaFran:
Do you write all these epistle for people that call Buhari a dullard and a peadophile?

Do you say the same to people that abuse Aisha Buhari and her children?

Do you same to people that deny the adoption of over 200 girls just because they are northerners

Of course you wont

Wicked IPOB people

so na because of buhari and family (wey don't even know u) u are bringing all this curse upon u and ur family. Karma is real and it hurts. Continue!!!

EbukaFran:
Do u say the same on the people that abuse Buhari every minute on NL?

Of course u don't

Because he is a northerner

Now u are all so wound up because it's about your Jesus of okrika

Patience is a bastard childless corrupt fat animal

Most u call her barren whatever, can't u just call her names without including d word barren. People are trying to correct u and u are still repeating urself. Don't let God's anger descend on you. You are not God dat give children and u don't have d right to call someone barren because u didn't get ur so called kids by ur own power or do you? Be careful dear remember ur sin can hurt ur kids

EbukaFran:
I have children already




Do you

Even if u have hundred kids if God decides to make u childless it won't cost Him anything. Please let's mind how we talk.

EbukaFran:
Childless corrupt woman

The wickedness of her heart blocked her unproductive womb

Now her husband has to fuvk other women to bear children

Useless fat barren woman

IPOBs quote me and amadioha damage your future

u are such a foolish man. May God judge You.

infogenius:
Mmotimo has spoken well.
I also agree with a few that have posted good suggestions.

Kaira33, never you think or imagine confronting your mother in law. Never and I honestly mean it. You will simply start a battle that may cost you your happiness.

Your husband's inability to talk to his mum is simply because you tell him more about what his mum has done wrong.

The more you do, the more he feels you are picking on her.

Let him do more of the observations and I can bet, if it gets too much he will talk to her.

Report less about what she does, ignore her direct comments made to you. Be nice to her and in a matter of time she will go.

It will be a big mistake to give your husband an impression that it is you he must choose ahead of his mother. You may just be asking for trouble.

Please and please let her be, tell your husband more about her good sides rather than what she said or have done wrong to you.

I know it is biting because you spend most of your time at home with her. Which exposes all these unnecessary issues.

You can get busy doing something like writing or reading during your spare time just to take your mind off what she may come up with.

If you husband understands that you don't dig his mum (no matter how bad she is) you will not enjoy him as much as you should.

Please live peacefully with her and I believe God with you that you will be fine in your marriage.

Thanks dear. I appreciate

Ewuro4:
Yanga dey sleep...It's your fault, you knew this woman is trouble yet you sold your own mother short and invited her despite all her ill manners toward you after your wedding(according to you).

what do you mean you need elderly woman to care for your first born coz you're first timers, isn't that what those routine clinics they do in Naija for?

Your husband is supportive, both of you can care for your child without her help.

Let her stay put in her house and YOU face front and stop looking for trouble and putting your man in awkward position.

Be independent , grow up & stop being naive; you can't force people to like you, so eye service won't help you.

What is this one saying? Sold whose mum short? In case u want to know y she couldn't make it. She is working for her pension stuff and couldn't travel outside d country OK? Please if u don't have anything to say please shut up ur dirty mouth and don't annoy urself please.

MMotimo:
This post is the crux of the matter. If you cannot rely on your husband to back you, I recommend you suck it up and prayerfully await her departure from your home. If your husband would back you, then communicating your displeasure should be through his mouth, not yours. Always remember - blood is thicker than water. What she would tolerate from her child/ren, she and the rest of the family would likely not accept from you. No man likes his wife to get mouthy with his mother. If my husband is displeased with my Mom, I expect him to tell me so that I handle it. Same way I would not open my mouth at his Mom, I would tell him the situation for him to handle.

My simple advice is to do whatever would not cause war between you and your husband. If he cannot put mouth in his mother's dressing, I have a feeling he's very reluctant to put mouth in this matter too. So, who are you to tongue lash her because you don't like what she's saying?

I expect you knew her personality and how her son regards her before your marriage? Well, nothing has changed, she's still held high on that pedestal. Your speaking your mind to his Mom because of her utterances towards you (agreed, not fair) might start a war you can't win and strain the relationship between you and your husband. Mama will eventually leave but a war with your in laws can endure forever. Is it worth it?

By the way, only you know " all he has done for you" we don't. If you know he has elevated you and/or your family true true, please respect yourself before his mother tells you your family story and how her son delivered you. To be perfectly blunt, whenever a girl without a job gets married to a man of a higher economic status, you risk this perception of he's your savior - right or wrong.

"By the way, only you know " all he has done for you" we don't. If you know he has elevated you and/or your family true true, please respect yourself before his mother tells you your family story and how her son delivered you. To be perfectly blunt, whenever a girl without a job gets married to a man of a higher economic status, you risk this perception of he's your savior - right or wrong" Dear, nobody is my saviour. My own family is very comfortable more than their family b4 God used their son( hubby) to better their life. Let me put it the exact way she normally say dat. Upon na o na-arasa gi ukwu na aka. She is just not happy how hubby takes good care of his family dats all. I lived a very comfortable life b4 I got married OK?

misreal:
your problem is not with your mother inlaw but with your hubby.it is only your hubby that can make her keep quiet.tell your hubby what you have told us and beg hum to please talk to his mum on your behalf..if you mistakenly speak to her insolently in front of her son,he will never be the same again..

Good advice dear but I know my hubby he can neva confront his mum for anything. For instance, there was a day she was wearing leggings and short top as in improperly dressed. Hubby saw her instead of telling her, mum this thing u are wearing is not good look for gown top since its leggings or something like dat. He called me and was like baby go and tell mum dat what she is wearing is not good and visitors will soon come. I was like me ke tell who. I told him she is ur mum please correct her if I do she might misunderstood me. Could u imagine he didn't do that until she corrected herself my using wrapper. I have told him several things she normally do which are wrong but he wouldn't confront her.My major prayer point now should be let omugwo end so dat she can travel back although d way am seeing things she is not planning to travel back dis year sef.

Na film." Ukwa's burial"

Vikky014:
hmmmmm quite annoying. swty just endure since she wont stay 4ever bt dnt make dt mistake of inviting her for ur omugwo again. try and tell ur hubby to shun her mum anytime she makes such comments by opposing her mums view. his silence is deadly

Thanks dear.( My rummy don catch me for nairaland). Honestly its no longer funny. Am tired of complaining to u. If not i for done gist you for whatsap

His own mum is wicked because I can't leave such a little boy to another woman's custody. Co - wife for that matter. God forbid bad thing

Thanks to you all for ur wonderful advice but people shouldn't blame me for not inviting her sister instead of her as hubby suggested. Since my own mum couldn't make it and I can't cope alone, I thought its very unfair to her if I invite her younger sister instead of her. She won't forgive me in dis world if I have done dat but I have learnt my lessons.

cococandy:
You should have listened to your husband when he said he didn't want her to come.
Well too late.
Ignore her just like some posters have said.
She's just looking for an excuse to find faults in your marriage.

Which one is that he's now dark and you should change his cream for him. Is he a baby? Some women sef.

Nnem ask oooo silly talks and things dat are so meaningless

Thank God

Mindfulness:
Why do you choose to take what she says so seriously?
I wouldn't bother if I were you. Ignore mode. It is that simple.

It's up to you whether you let her affect you and whether you choose to invest energy into an argument, which will put your husband in an uncomfortable position. And it is also up to you whether you choose to rise above the situation.

Dear, u won't understand. Assuming u are d one u could have choose to take what she said more seriously than I do. Imagine someone always trying to label you a bad person in d presence of ur hubby. Its Neva easy to take dat only by God's Grace

Melahou:
The only way you can have rest of mind is only if she's not staying with you in your husband's house

Talking back at her is not a good idea...it will only deteriorate thing for both of you.

Some mother in laws are naturally like that. You can't just impress them.

Continue being that good wife you are and sometimes play "DEAF or MUMU" with her.

Thanks and God bless. Dats y its good to share ur problems sometimes. Me don plan how I will blast her next time but for d sake of my hubby I have to seek for advice because I don't want anything dat will hurt him.

TheArchangel:
Why not focus on your hubby and baby instead of allowing MIL to live rent free in your head.? Any negative or contrary words from you will be seen as an insult, so I suggest you avoid her as long as she is there till she leaves.
She is a ticking time bomb, do not give her the satisfaction of talking back at her to correct her negative impresions cos your hubby is gonna side with his mama at the long run. Delete her from your mental space. Please.

True talk. I appreciate

Julietcutie:
see whether you can cook something she loves serve her like a VIP after that tell her 'mama I want to have a private talk with you ' while discussing tell her u love her son and plead with her to stop saying those mean things... try to pet your husband in her presence treat him like a king... do some public display of ur love with your husband too also in her presence... and finally pray

ok ooo thanks dear

byvan03:
Jokingly tell her" mama e be like sey nah only you go sabi marry your son, if you keep talking like this he no go fit live with womanooo". Dey talk am dey shine teeth . If she vex" dey laugh dey talk sorry and keep saying " but mama you know sey nah truth" . Terrible MIL!

My dear nobi today ooo. I don de shine teeth since but it's not working out. What made me to create dis thread happened just today. Ok, After several disturbances dat her son is too dark (which no body is complaining na only her oo) dat I should go to d market and change his cream. I told hubby since am fair maybe let's be using my own cream together. He accepted only for her mum to come out today again to tell me to my face dat upon everything her son is doing for me dat I don't take care of him. My hrt is so heavy dis morning. Honestly I need to put an end to this.

Julietcutie:
take her matter to God... pray well and try and see if you can get close to her like you and your mom in law should be like 5 &6

I understand, I wish to be 5 & 6 with her. But what I needs now is how to make her stop saying all those things especially in the presence of my hubby b4 she spoil his hrt towards me.

I love my mother in-law and she loves me too. Oya silly nairalanders go and hug transformer.

Nb. If there is no light please look for d nearest lagoon.

APC people are not well ooo. See healthy fine baby they said they rescued from sambisa

vizkiz:
If you like me, you better say it, I am too busy to be reading a girl's actions... Simply tell me. "Viz, I like you" then we will know what to do about it. how will you be calling me big head, for what now?

#Teamnotimeforiranu

Go joor u no follow

Most she open her tummy to be sexy? Dis is rubbish