₦airaland Forum

LMAO! @ PLAY GIRL MANSION. Is that a Bingo dog?

lammylam:
hahahahahahahah if bachelor they complain wetin u want make d spinster's do?

lol! Abi o! Oya, read about that here- https://www.nairaland.com/3222002/11-things-nigerian-spinsters-tired

Okay, here I go again. Actually, I have gotten a lot of texts from girls after I posted an article this morning titled 13 Things Nigerian Bachelors are Tired of Hearing. I have learnt that females have it worse than us guys. So, I decided to write this article, based on what I learned from the the ladies that contacted me and from my own personally observations. Below are 7 things Nigerian spinsters are tired of hearing. 1,2, 3, GO!!! Wait, Hol'Up! I think I need to say something. I am not talking of the giant sized rat in the Ninja Turtle movie when i mention spinster. His name is Master Splinter. I am talking of an unmarried woman, typically an older woman beyond the usual age of marriage.







1. Why Are You Still Single

She is single because she can't marry herself. What sort of insensitive question is that anyway.


2. You Can't Give Birth After Menopause

She probably already knows that, so no need to remind her of that. Besides, child birth is still possible after menopause, it is just harder.


3. Go and Marry

This is Nigeria, a country in West Africa, and we have not reached that point of social advancement where a woman can propose to a man. How do you expect her to just GO AND MARRY like that?


4. All Your Success Doesn't Mean Anything If You are Not Married

Oh my. I just can't imagine what people like Rita Dominic and Linda Ikeji go through in the hands of cyber bullies that keep typing stuff like this on their social media pages. Why must marriage be the ultimate measure of success for a woman?


5. You Don't Want to Have Children?

Maybe she wants to, maybe she doesn't. She is an adult and can make her own decisions. So, mind your own business.


6. You Are So Beautiful, How Come You are Still Single?

Because she can't 'toast' herself.


7. I've Got the Perfect Guy For You

Yea, right.


8. Don't You Get Lonely

Everyone gets lonely at some point...married or unmarried.


9. You Should Lower Your Standards

I remember why one of my friends stopped going to a particular church in my area. One day, there was a testimony about a lady who was looking for a husband. And the pastor asked her to marry the first person she sees when she opens the window the next morning. That person happened to be her gate-man, and she went and married him. We started calling that church OPEN THE WINDOW.


I am a firm believer in being humble at all times and never looking down on people. But, when we are talking about a marriage that is meant to last forever, the two parties involved should at least be compatible to a degree.


10. I Wish I Was Still Single

Most men just say this to make the girl lose her guard so they can get in her pants.


11. Have You Tried Online Dating?

Yea, she probably has, and she found out that like 80% of Nigerian men online are perverts and just want sex.


http://outoftheordinary101..com.ng/2016/07/11-things-nigerian-spinsters-are-tired.html

See all these girls on here asking me to go and marry but they are not providing me with options...I won't mind settling down with one of you ladies.

jashar:
everything is wrapped up in one statement.

Go and marry

lol!

HoneyB10:
Op go and marry joor

lol!

sinaj:
Op get marid nd stop complaining jore

Okay ma.

mhisbliss:
But ladies hear this things too

Yes. I guess it is worse for ladies sef. I will write on that tonight.

Sad. But wait, a 63 year old lady with a 10 year old daughter? That is technically impossible. And about the rapist, who gave him the name, Baddo? How do they know who he is?

Cool move.

Timbuktou:
We don't need to reach the north, after all, charity begins at home. Ask Theodore Orji why he sacked non-Abia indigenes from Abia State civil service.

GBAM!

tunderay:
LMAO, one of the funniest but precise reaction I have read in NL

lol! And they played perfectly to the script. Very predictable set of people.

mars123:
The Igbo man is literally pleading for his fellow igbos to have sense but common sense is not common.

LMAO!!!

Earth2Metahuman:
Joe has spoken well

The part I find funny is, when they dish out their hate, they expect love and a pat on the back in return.
If someone dishes out little dose of the hate they spread everyday, they start crying and acting like victims.

They made me found it difficult to criticize buhari constructively when he did something wrong cos they already bastardized everything with hate.

THANK YOU O! I don't understand those people. I try...I really try to love them, but they make it so damn difficult. And it is funny that they are the ones that survive by doing business in every corner of Nigeria. How can you keep hating your hosts?

One of the most sensible things I have ever heard an igbo man say. Wise words.

Billyonaire:
There is a good side to this Fayose, I have never seen a governor dress so casual and seemingly integrate with the masses. He has a moral heart but may be a depredatory spirit just like every politician.

Exactly!

I'd say 23-26 for females, and 25-28 for men. You would be very emotionally and mentally matured at this age. But ofcos, you got to be financially okay too.

Yes, yes, I just had to write this. I, and I am sure the other Nigerian bachelors are tired of hearing some things from friends, family, and strangers. By the way, when I say Bachelor, I mean a man who is socially regarded as able to marry, but has not yet tired the knot. Okay, let's get into it. Below are 13 things I am sure Nigerian bachelors are tired of hearing.





1. You Mean You Don't Even Have a Girlfriend?

Hello!!! I just told you I am single...does being single have another meaning?






2. Go and Marry

Oya, carry me to the alter and make sure you come with a bride. Marriage is not child's play, and the same people urging you on to marry will be the same people asking why you went and got married when you can't buy pampers for your child.






3. What are You Waiting For?

I am waiting for you to hit me in the head with a stick so I wake up and realize that 'marriage is a must.' Of cos I know about the advantages of marriage, but I can't just jump into it if I am not ready.






4. You Will Receive Blessing from God After You Marry

Hmm! Okay, maybe this might be true, but where will I get the money to feed the hundreds of people that would come for my wedding before God blesses me?




5. Unmarried Men are Seen as Being Irresponsible

Okay. I am willing to live with that for now.






6. When Are You Going to Marry?

Well, to be honest I don't know. But what I do know is that marriage is not something you just jump into.






7. You Can't be Happy and Fulfilled Without Marriage

Says who? You?






8. Do You Want to be Going for PTA Meetings in Your 50s?

Well, if it comes to that, I am sure I won't find any problem in doing so.






9. Don't You Want to Enjoy Times with Your Grown Children While Still Young Yourself?

I get this from my friend Sola all the time. He keeps saying, won't you like to be in your mid 40s, looking sharp, and driving around town with your 19 year old son, looking like you are brothers. I can see how that can be appealing to some, but really, we all don't want the same things in life.






10. Do You Want to be Looking for University Tuition Fees for Your Children in Your 60s?

If it comes to that, I won't have to look for, cos I am sacrificing not getting married right now, for financial freedom. So, by then, I would even be able to sponsor 1,000 children through college if I wanted to.






11. Marriage is the Ultimate Goal in Life

Oh, that's funny. Maybe that's why people get divorced a few years after marriage. I guess after hitting the ultimate goal, they became complacent and stopped aspiring for anything else.




12. You're Such a Great Guy...How Come You're Single.

Well, I choose to be single.




13. If You Die Tomorrow, Your Linage Ends

I won't lie, this one kinda hits me hard. Of cos I want to have kids and have my lineage grow, and have a long family tree. But, really, I am willing to take the risk. So, if I do die before I get to have a child, so be it. At least I won't have lived a selfish life...I have given so much to this world in terms of books, articles, and blog posts, and they will live on and help and entertain people born and yet unborn. My name will live on, that is for sure.


http://outoftheordinary101..com.ng/2016/07/13-things-nigerian-bachelors-are-tired.html

NemzySeries:
pls read between lines....i neva insulted u & dere wuz no reason to...... but if dere is do specify & i'll apologise but if derz non which I kw derz non, I demand an apology

If you can't see the subtle insults in what you wrote, then there is no need pointing them out for you.

frankline5:
he is actually the owner of the song you are talking about.
The guy is hot

Okay. The dude has a crazy delivery.

I think the Zoro guy was on one song that had Flavor on the hook. Super dope rapper.

Empero1:
As much as I share in the pains the dead woman must have undergone in the hands of the lunatic lynchers, and also sympathize with the family she left behind, yet I think Christians should know their limit. Public disturbance in the name of preaching, worse still preaching within the enclave of your opponents (the Muslims) should be discouraged. The illusory our religion is better than yours or we are the God's people and you are the devil agents - all because one doesn't share in the same worldview like the other - should be discouraged.

Physical combat is not the only form of violence abuse, no, emotional/psychological abuse is even worse. I wish everyone could do away with religion.

Wise words.

tabithababy:
Why will she be preaching in front of a mosque. .

Exactly! That's like willingly walking into a den of lions.

Very creative and colorful.

Koreslee:
I do ask myself dis question tho..
Cos my boss always talking about marriage err'tym..
I do ask myself is it a must to marry?

Abi o!

oodua1stson:
Truly I never wanted to marry until I met my wife





You'll jam that person one day

I pray I do.

Very informative. I wish I had seen this before I rented the new place I am currently staying in.

3.Dampness

If it is a ground floor apartment or duplex, check the bottom of the wall on the ground floor. If the bottom of the walls were all tiled. This is a sure sign of dampness. If the walls are painted, check if the paint or plaster is swelling or breaking off at the bottom.

I have observed the above in my new apartment. But I am already in it...what do I do now?

RobinHez:
Hmmmm.... Insightful.
But at least, we should grow tired of hearing the same thing being re-packaged over and over again...


and I could accept the beats explanation, but what do you have to say about lyrical content?

I particularly loved your article and it's opening words...

After absorbing myself in Jon Bellion’s recent Album: The Human Condition, I felt I had achieved a heightened state of music consciousness. In my liberality I considered sharing one of the most impressive songs from the album with a Childhood friend of mine. One minute after playing the song from his phone I notice a frown on his face, a sure sign of discontent. He takes off his ear-phones slowly, turns to me and says “this song no sweet jare, e wohn make me sleep”. He immediately deletes the song from his phone.

lol! We love pangolo music too much in Nigeria.

Hmm! Beautiful baby...looks more like Oyinbo baby.

Sad. But for real, how do we know these crimes were committed by Fulani Herdmen?

Beautiful people.

For shock value I guess. Controversy sells.