₦airaland Forum

Rip

Chai shy na this type of person is going to be our president hmm, never

Na this tym he will do dat type of things let them cum to power 1st he will not do dat, we don upgrade for Nigeria don't full us

Good write up

QuinModah:
Kindly take some time to go through this writeup. You will never regret the resources you put into reading it. Those saddled with the responsibility of raising adolescents will find this very informative!

This is a fallout from the happenings in Chrisland School VGC Lagos.

He came in with his father into my consulting room. They were almost passing for twin brothers, the only difference was the built and the look The father had more built and obviously looked older. That was the result of adolescents' rapid growth. Adolescents are people between 10 and 19 years. My patient was 16. Many things are special about people in this age group. One prominent thing is their thinking and view about life. They believe in fairytales a lot. Dont mind me like I was not once in the same dreamland before age and reality of life woke me up.

What did I own this visit Tunde I asked my patient? (real name withheld), he went straight to the point my dad promised me a dental brace for my exam success. I just passed so I was here to get my brace. They had gone to dental unit of the hospital earlier. They were directed back to General out patient department to get referral. So Victor was in my consulting room to get the referral letter to the dentist to get his dental brace promised him for exam success by his father. I asked him any tooth anomalies? What was his reason for wanting a dental brace. I was shocked the answer Tunde gave me and this was what prompted me to write this piece. He said the celebrity he loved was using dental brace that was why he wanted it. I am not sure I heard the reason victor gave well.

As a General practitioner, I know people use dental brace for cosmetic reasons but a teenager of 16 years without any teeth anomalies wanted dental brace because his hero celebrity he was watching on TV was using it? This shock made me to turn to the father who granted such request. In fact, bigger shock came from the father. I asked him if he heard the reason his son gave for getting a dental brace. He said yes and further justified it by saying" Doctor what can I do ? He said that was what he wanted for his success in the exam. Even at home that was how he behaved. Anything he wanted if you didn't give him, he would not be happy again. Did I just hear that from Tunde's dad too? I screamed in my head. A 16 year old boy dictates what he wants to you at home and you are the father and parent? The father smiled back sheepishly again.

Seriously ladies and gentlemen I entered counselling mode immediately. I saw impending danger here. The future of a young man was at stake. I saw wrong parenting for an adolescent here. I asked Tunde for his permission to counsel him with his father together. He did not decline though but was wondering what the counselling was for. Any problem? Counselling format has always been basically to ask what the patients know about the topic and you as the the counsellor give them all the correct information and options then guide them to make a rational decision best for them. I ventured out on this voyage.
The topic I had to deal with here with Tunde and his dad was ADOLESCENCE AND PARENTING. I asked Victor what he understood by being an adolescent. He seemed not to understand much about adolescence despite being one. I asked the father about parenting an adolescent, he said and I quote" doctor is there anything special about adolescents being parented ?". Within me I was screaming in my head again. No wonder Tunde was in my consulting room this morning for cosmetic dental brace motivated by hero celebrity.

Time will fail me to tell you all information I gave them on ADOLESCENCE AND PARENTING but l will summarize it not to bore you. I told them: Adolescence is a stage of life for people between 10 and 19 years. This stage can be developmentally divided into three according to World Health Organisation (WHO). First is early adolescence (10-13), mid adolescence ( 14-16) and late adolescence (17-19).

These 3 stages can be summarized thus developmentally:
Early adolescents have brain of a child and body of an adult.
Mid adolescents have 50% child's brain and 50% adult's brain and body of an adult.
The late adolescents have brain of an adult and the body of an adult.

Hence the decisions taken at this stage of life go hand in hand with these peculiarities. Tunde is 16. He has body of an adult already but 50% child's brain. You are wondering why I would say that? Was it not obvious from the decision made by Tunde so far?

Now to parenting, parenting is guiding and nurturing a child in all aspects of life either you are the biological or non biological parents. There are 4 ways you can parent a child and the meaning of each parenting style based on two issues which are LOVE AND DISCIPLINE.

The 4 types of parenting are:

1) Permissive parenting which is LOVING A CHILD ALL THE TIMES WITHOUT DISCIPLINE;

2) Authoritarian parenting style which means DISCPLINING A CHILD ALL THE TIMES WITHOUT ANY LOVE;

3) Uninvolved parenting style which means the parents are not even doing any of the two, NO LOVE, NO DISCIPLINE, the child is on his or her own and the last parenting style which is

4) Authoritative parenting style,also known as Balanced parenting style, which involves LOVING AND DISCIPLINING A CHILD EQUALLY. Research rated Authoritative parenting style as the best parenting style world wide and the remaing three parenting styles as defective.

Now I turned to Tunde's father which of the parenting styles I have explained now do you think you have been using for Tunde? The 60 year old man was quiet for almost 2 minutes, surprising to me, with almost tears in his eyes said, doctor I never knew all these types of parenting styles and their consequences as you just explained. He said doctor no doubt the permissive parenting style seemed to be the one I have been using with Tunde." Doctor what can l do now? Is it not too late for him?" That was how l raised all his 2 elder brothers and doctor l must tell you they have not been doing well on their own.

The first brother had drug issue and the second brother was irresponsible. To my surprise, Tunde in tears after hearing my oratory education on Adolescence and Parenting and its consequences and heard his father's helpless question, he said daddy it is not too late. I don't want any dental brace again. Daddy guide me the authoritative way. The best way you think I would turn out best guide me. The two hugged each other with mist of tears in their eyes and left closing the door of my consulting room behind them.

Now my own tears erupted in my head, did I just change a life, a future, a family, a generation? Because Tunde would have gone ahead to likely parent his own children too this wrong way and the trend continues and becomes trans-generational. I am happy l have just made another impact.

As l close my write up, I will like to appeal to every parent reading this anywhere in the world, LOVING A CHILD WITHOUT DISCIPLINING THEM IS NOT LOVING THEM, IT IS DESTROYING THEIR LIVES.

Please LOVE your child, meet their needs, cater for them, ask for their opinion and respect their opinions to the extent that opinion is beneficial to their present and future and make sure that after putting everything together and considering their highest good, have the final saying by showing them the right path. They may not appreciate you today don't worry, when through your BALANCED LOVE AND DISCIPLINE PARENTING STYLE, they look back tomorrow as a fulfilled soul, they will forget the temporary gratification of all love without discipline and bless the day God gave you to them as their guide through life.

I hope this article speaks to you. Copied

We want pay per view

Pls just tell them to do pay per view we are fedup of increasing der moni every tym

SarkinYarki:
Look at these clowns , when Buhari govt keeps increasing NEPA tarriff , Port Tarriff, Airport Tarriff, VAT tarriffs , where were these clowns and their stay action order ..you can not force a private company to run at a loss , DSTV is not an essential service so if anyone can't afford the service for now they can move to cheaper alternatives like Startimes TV or free to air cable or just stop watching DSTV entirely

I do every day

Not yet I don't know what to do

Vasgas:
did you later resolved it

Michelle70:
Stop fire, those people increased it o.

Monopoly na free gift

yes oo monopoly market dy are doing for us dat we are doing viewing center y can't dy do pay per view

Any football stations, are dy viewing life football march?

Thank God � for your life, thank you Nigeria ministry God will continue to protect you all

lagosrd:
When the regulators here in Nigeria only interested in money money and money

our electricity is not good in dis country if they do pey per view it will b ok if they Increase ther money people will not d talking and I think some of our leader our eating from there we all should fight it we want pay per view

lagosrd:
Where there is no law there is no SIN. multichoice can choose to remove the important channels form the regular price and create a new channel that will accommodate the new price regime. The issue is bad leadership . Once they can afford it shikena

y can't they do pay per view

This people's did not av respect for Nigeria Court the court order Dem not to implement d praise as at yesterday but they disobey they don't av respect for us in our country and d Nigeria bar association are looking at them shame on them

adeoba2008:
Na them.

thank you, asserted y can't u advice den to do pay per view as our tellcumulation

That' is what they use to say, y can't they do pay per view that is what we want, no electricity in Nigeria nw we want pay per view

That's what they use to say doing COVID tym something like that was seld and d house summon d mutichuce MD he did not answer he sends he av COVID den till new nothing as b don abeg make una no full us there is corruptions in dat department ther is some people that are eating from them, if they can do it like that it will b better coz our electricity is not good in dis country

Way are dy not viewing live football premier league and co

If they Increased there money fine, we know what is going on in Nigeria nw, but way can't we fight for pay per view like our handset I don't understand what is going on with this people's did they have power dan so in our country? If we sub nw no light, petrol na wahala, desu na problem at d end of d mouth your sub experyed without viewing ten days na waaoo #payperview..,

Terrible

Is that way they brought crazy bill for us this mount? They brought 57k for us this morning, when the light is not stable, EndSARS is the one we c the one that is coming will b more than EndSARS

I listen to Godwin Enagena last week wen he celebrated this man on his show when he is 80, he z this man was one of his mentor when it comes to talking sport he called baba but one of is son pick d call and speak to him on d show d son z baba is sleeping that day that is 4days ago, baba Rip

They just killed innocent Nigerians they send they killed one person which is lie, they killed up to nine and many are in d hospital

Did they say that they killed up to 9 people's NO innocent people's many are in d hospital just shooting anyhow if they start another ENDSARS

Y can't they parade d so call super cops

Lemmy123:
Eweeeeeey!

For me o, I think NDLEA is doing their job these days, anybody wey him hand no clean, has to face the full wrath of the law, Abba Kyari inclusive...

By the way, I'm available for your writing and design jobs, see my signature below, thanks

I know that is what they will say this guy's are just street guys in the statement they did not say they killed people's they killed up to 9 people's many are in d hospital as am taking nw they are just shooting straight bullet they killed innocent Nigerian that are selling in Lagos island way are they doing this they act unprofessional asserpted, this guy's attack them but if they are professional they should know how to do and respond I was there today only God self me

[most of them did not know anything about this and the so called super Corp kan that did not parade him they are layer God bless Nigeriaquote author=BigYash post=110573454]Disturbing America


Them never still parade super cop ,the drug Baron. But they are quick to parade these poor dealers.[/quote]

NDLA want to start another end SARS I heard that several people as b killed, they are just shooting anyhow

Where are you going in Lagos?

No b like that police self they do, what goes around comes around

This man have strong backing, he still AV d gorx to b talking some strong people's are behind this case u will c after 2 to 3 weeks new we will not here anything again that is my country Nigeria

You are right did u know y I z that I don't like people discriminate that is way I z that but in the case of kemi adeosun and other Yoruba you mentioned is it not same Yoruba people that brought her from abroad that went to expose her I even heard that amosun is pat of them bcoz she did not dance to his tun

babaolofin:
You are not a Yoruba. You said Police do support themselves, if Tafa Balogun is an Hausa / Fulani as IGP, Nuhu Ribadu wouldn't have rubbished him the way he did to Tafa. The same is applicable to Ibos. I remembered the case of Stella Odua. The fact is that Yorubas are surrounded by enemies who never supported or wish the Yorubas well. The case of Onyema Allen and the case of Abba Kyari are just one of several cases where tribes defend their kinsman. If Abba Kyarri were to be a Yoruba man heaven would have been let loose. The attacks would have been very severe and the polity very hot.

I remembered the case of Kemi Adeosun forged Certificate of EXEMPTION. The tribe waging psychological war against the Yorubas made Certificate of EXEMPTION looks the same as Certificate of SERVICE. I have the cases of Bolaji Osomo, Prof Nike Grange and Iyabo Obasanjo also the case of Bola Onagoruwa and several hundred Yorubas that were unjustly humiliated.