short and straight to the point ,  It feels good and after a lot lighter  ,  I enjoy my time with baby my baby he enjoys his meal and time spent together then he sleeps ,  and I get some sleep  if I'm luky or do house works,  thats it realy its a labor of love ,

biggaboy:

@ poster

madam, what are you looking at since all these days, 3 months is too much ooo.meaning there is somethings wrong somewhere. it is your duty as a wife to talk to him and find where the problems lies, from your side , try and talk dirty and entice him towards the main thing, dnt expect him to initiate it , another things is , try and remember the last time you guys had it, what went wrong, search your soul, you find answer, omo the things sweet o, let your hubby feel u well as u too muct use the material at fullest, best wishes,

OK a little off topic but the last time it happend with me it was after a argument I have a friend that i sometime sms my man found this ,  nothing bad just talk of school and studies,  the problem was my friend had same name as an old friend of  his that he had argued with and no longer spoke to ,  we argued over this he accused me of chatting his friend.  I was so angery with him when it came to bed time I totally ignored him. that night he pulled me close said he was sorry there is more than one Joe in this world what happend after that was Bliss. my friend lives over seas and we have never met I guess what im trying to say is what if he thinks your getting it some were else   My man was jelouse becouse he thourt I was getting it on with ex friend men have insercurities too my girl take the leap of faith and talk to him get it out there and maby you will find bliss in his arms too hes your man sometimes he needs to know you still with him

devistating, 
one word could not describe the torment ,

justwise:

This is all nonsense, i have dated more white ladies than i can remember and quite a few black sisters from other African countries.
I don't like it when pple start slagging one race off or trying to compare based on very limited experiences.
Lets treat pple as individuals, our black sisters got their own strength and weaknesses just as white does. Date whoever u get along with [/b
[b]White is not cheap neither are our black sisters.

[color=#000099][/color] Amen to that
why do we automatically think all men or ladys are that shallow, and that all white girls are fat and ugly ,  we all have right of opinion Ive seen some big woman it my time ok yes we pick on them but think how you would feel in there place when a man use them just to hurt them I feel sorry for them and the pore heath they must have. sickness and infertilaty becouse of their weight ,  love is blind and when you are lonley and obess then  you will be frowned apon and used by the shallow minded.  but we also have many bb ladies out there and I would not call them fat and ugly our sisters and brothers are  beautiful in loves eye

tutuola:

when did this become a hate free for all?
looks like no one likes women in here, no liking black ladies and sure as hell not white ladies, why do we have to try to put shame on some one for wanting to screw,marry for love or paper work, do what ever with these women its sad.
so much hate makes the soul heavy

                 My heart fills with the feeling of sadness that we only see what we want have you ever stopt to think of the hearts that are broken by the lies that are told to some of those woman in the name of papers. Some of our white and yes black  sisters go into those relationships with hope in there hearts  and love that this is real to them
Dose there heart mean nothing to that man so much that he lie and steel her heart only to trash her latter its a sad fact that I have seen happen too good friend ,  and before you say too bad she deserve it ,  I say no she did not a good and beautiful heart was distroyed that night
yes WE all do things too better our lives that is how man and woman work ,  who we date is personal dissision all I say is love were love is good and respect all we are gods children and we deserve that, Black man white girl or reverce what dose it matter ,  think Of the ones so confused that turn to there own sex because love with a man or woman, has let them down,  I dont disrespect Gays ! it just bad carma each to there own I say,  I'd rather be cellerbit than go that way ,  but hey thats my oppinion!
   ok I will be the first to call myself a bitch but should any one easle call me a dog ,   horror of horrers a Id turn and Bight there ass,    lol. Just ask my husband ,  I  fight for what is mine no poodle lover gets its Paws on my N man  Grrrrr 

too_soon:

If sex on phone is cheating, then watching pornographic movies to satisfy your urge, while denying your boyfriend of sex is also cheating!!!

Ooh I hate to admit it but I agree with this
If you are willing to self satisfy yourself yet refuse your man/woman then you are cheatting on him/her
or may be you are saying they cant satisfy you in the same way

but Yes I would feel betrayed if i found him talking dirty to some one even though calls made on the phone intimacy internet or any means . 
what dose it say about the partner
call me a prood  but when bf is away I don't Play Ever.
I consider it a betrayal of his trust and of our commitment to each other 

I had a man call my house once   I don't know him at all  he said , ( I've cleaned it up a lot ),  will you talk dirty to me while i masterbate ,  I called him a sick **** and hung up on him
I never knew him any one in my home could have taken that call as children were in the house I thank god it was me  not a child hearing his bad language he used towards me

O m G
This happend to me
But luckily i was not totally in love with bf at the time, we had drifted apart
I use to sit with his best friends WIFE and we would talk and she would say what do i see in him , I never really loved him in that way I spent 6 years living with him he was a jerk and beet me I but did care for him.
long story short after time I left him as relationship was going no were. he beg me to come back I went back because we had a son together a boy needs a farther
he had an affair with my best friend , I was really more upset with my friend I thought stupid , ##, I was so disappointed with her didn't care about him in the slightest not by that time!!!
she admitted later that she used him to get away from bad marrage so in my case It made no difference good bye to bad rubbish i say
If it happend now I would be devastated I'm not violant person but I would be crushed.
revenge is best served cold so you have time to think of a better way to get him back as for my EX friend that would be end of that. I would give him a second chance but he would have too prove himself before. I would let him into my heart again. Probley balm myself what did she give that I can not, It would be there always to forgive is not always easy even for the one you love so dearly,

In my house when we eat i always have the meat mixed in small pieces, so i can eat both
but when it comes too big meats I eat them last , , more room on the plat lol
I find after I prepare the meal and then eat it if any meat left behind my husband will take it and I miss out so i eat a little of each as i go he eats meat last so I try to follow his lead so as not to insult his culture

yet he is always keen to finish the meat even mine from my plate if i slowdown to digest my meal.
I'm a slow eater and always last to finish, I don't know why that is either

I would like to know how to do the cows leg soup. Im still learning and I know this to one of my beaus favourites
Its simple enough but I dont know it though I have tryed it

Thanks Kearra

Quote from: papine on March 31, 2009, 02:36 PM
Don’t miss interpret me please
If it comes too telling stories about my past life, I am good at it.
But i don’t think this is the right place or time to do so.
been through hell and back in their hands (the woman)

@
gabrywyl I am very sure you where born with a sliver spoon, and I can bet that you have not seen the worst…… so enjoy as long as you can
which one would you prefer, a man that cheats on you or a man that assault you ?

I am jus saying that a man who is ready to accept his wife or girlfriend got in the act!!! is a real man,,
@
kearra if he comes back begging, will you forgive him., that’s the point
but I can bet, a man will receive you with open hands
topup. I agree with you is not all the woman, but can you still recall when you where young, what happen to your first love ?@


In one word, it’s is not when you go into another man’s or woman’s bed, is cheating
Just think

My first Love: Left me for another Becouse I said No , I was 16. He wanted Kids bfore marrage
my EX:
I wont forgive him for the pain he caused, but water passes under the bridge of life , he see's his son on occasions but I will never forget what he did or how he treated me ,
Oh he also cheated on me with my then best friend ,
they lived together and my son tells me they fight and he is missrable, poetic justice i say
At least when I see him ( my ex ) I dont want too Put a bullet through his head, We forget the past for the sake of my son,
he would beg forgivness one day just too abuse me the same night,
I dont have in me to cheat belive me I thourght of it but why bring myself down to his way of thinking
God made me a better woman for my experiance, for that I thank him , and my Son of course good dose come from bad

My new man Knows of my past but are yet too meet face to face,

Take care and remain safe, God bless all

brein:

@Topic.
Love can be very stupid atimes, u know

touchmeder:

i smell a rat. who smells it with me? i pray i am very very wrong sha.

how much does a ring cost for God's sake? But then again why buy a ring when to the world you are not married?
you need to talk to this man, first things first, tell your family apologise and all that
move to your own house as soon as you guys save enough money
if you still have something left, it will be nice to go with him to Africa by December so you see the parents and do a small traditional stuff
you can do something later in Australia where your family and friends can see you (every girls dream)
don't sweat it too much babe, take it easy.
if the white wedding means so much to you, you can do it but that means going to Africa will wait, just prioritize these events
you need to tell your parents first, its only reasonable at this stage for someone who really loves you. the deed has been done nothing more to hide.
i hope

Thank you for the feed back I must say I've been surprised with all the replies,
I talked to my man over the past weekend things have settled a little and getting better
marrage and rings may have to wait We really want to fly back to Nigeria this Christmas My man needs to see his family
the white wedding is not the be all and end all of our life
I just felt incomplete as something was missing yet the love we shared while he was here is still very strong
no shot guns no something smelling of rats. I see hope and love in his eyes and i guess that will have to hold me till
things improve. He left for work this very afternoon, sad and a little upset about leaving me alone again

My man is not leading me astray I think I answered my own question , with Your help
I still desire the ring that binds but I say with a smile that love Lives here



Take care to all and Happy Easter

no we are 39 and 40
We met we and I fell in love , it was not love at first sight this happend over 10 months. as for race or colour thats not the question. We are looking for a house of our own my hubby moves from job to job mine is stable in one place. the problem is i work in a hospital in a town far away we both earn good wages so at the moment I wont give up my job as we need the money to save.
Yes it has something to do with no ring I just feel in limbo I'm married but have no rings at all the ring is only small its his promise to wed here in Australia for my family that pains me he will be returning home to my house in 2 days and i do plan to speak to him in more detail about this
we are both working towards a better life and Maybe that is what he waits for


That still does not negate the fact that he has reneged on the promise he made to you
big_bumper Quote from: *Hauwa* on March 30, 2009, 02:47 PM

Justgood,

don't blame foreign women. Blame our brothers who marry for jetting out. maybe brother managed to leave nig to Malaysia and hit on Australian lady he met. it is not her fault. this guy should just do the right thing, get his wife a ring, do family intro and announce the marriage to families and friends. how hard is that?

I always pray his love is real and not as so many here suggest, False I'm not here to judge I'm here for enlightenment. OK yes I'm partly white and Australian born its not a rush my family knew we engaged it was our problems with visa and yes finances that made us disside to marry there I'm Not saying he has tricked me we are not teenagers I'm trying to understand why his change of mind yes it could be finances. he talks of a house of our own, Again mabe this is what he strives for

some one asked if we have children yet no I have a son from previous, My son likes him and to me thats all that really counts my hubby calls him his son and wants to put him through collage etc, but yes he wants child of his own too,

Sometimes i think space is what he needs but at the same time don't i need some kind of compleation in my life too.
something that says I belong , Now is that wrong of me thees are the questions i will ask of him when he comes here to stay until work calls him away again

I do have small place in another town/ village when we visit and stay with family we stay there and no they don't know were married yet my hubby works in city were my family is I work away they supply a home for me ( employer )

its hard we live with them and away from them then i leave o go back to work its a bit like shift work for us both we get back together a few days a month
We have no home of our own yet so we travel a lot too and from work , Live in work
In a patient care assistant , he is a support worker for aged people and young people who are dissabled he works and lives on the property
so the only time we GET together is when he comes up to were i work and live on his days off. or i go to him
at my family's home they just dint know we wed yet just engaged

it wasn't a shot gun wedding it was more of a sprue of the moment thing
my hubby was studding over there Id been to visit him a few times over the 4 years he stayed
he originaly was to come to Australia as a sponsored visitor by me and my family because the wished too meet him . the papers had already been sent for consideration.
He was accepted by the way but the only offed him a 1 month visa, we then applied for a prospective spouse visa to find it was too expensive extra 10,000 ngn. thats when we dissided to do the register wedding to get a spouse visa was only 6000.ngn he paid that all himself.
so i guess after all the spending we were broke i had to return to Malaysia 3 more times to formalise it all that took us 9 months, he was finely accepted and we now live in Australia with my family which he hates were looking for a home of our own.
my hubbys been here 3 months now and finely got work only last month. I already had casual work
Its been a hard time for him I don't want to rush him

No i don't want to rock the boat I just want compleation for a promise, as i mentioned earlier I'm not expecting him to do it rite away maybe in 12 months from the original wedding so it falls on the same date.

My family expext traditional being the younest daughter and all. and all 3 of his sisters had traditional, I'm not shaw what his family expect
He is under financial strain right now so that is why we had the quickie so that we could at least be together we even shared the cost of the register. 10,137.00 ngn

To set the record right hubby didn't say i was greedy or insensitive I was asking that question of myself. Am I asking too much of him.

He has only brought up the subject of rings once and that was after some guy came up to me said i was a sexy lady and asked to dance with me , my hubby got mad and told him to get lost that I was his wife,
the argument got nasty when the guy twice his size said she not taken by no man if she got no ring to say she yours !!!
would it be wrong if I brought his ring ??
Is a Australian tradition here that she buy his and he buys hers I like that idea.

I'm Australian Born my man is Nigerian born we want to go back to Nigeria this Christmas , He is the last and oldest son in his family after his bros death, He has younger bro. So he is considered the man of the house his Farther has also passed. I honestly had hoped for is mother he would have a formal wedding he has 3 sisters all Wed. his young bro the only one left unwed.

I wasn't raised in Africa so i don't know the customs . I want to know and understand my man and how he thinks doesn't every girl dream of that day. and a pretty gown.

we married in Malaysia with only his friends in a registry, it happend so fast i don't even feel married no rings have been exchanged only a few very simple words and its over
I'm the youngest of 5 and the last born daughter never married before.

my hubby said that we look on this as an engagement A commitment to each other
my family is not too keen on him and say hes not a good choice they accept him yet they warn me away
I cant keep lying to them , I'm in love with my man and we married without consent.

I'm scared My family will disown me when they find out
his family have accept me and welcome me into there home
I don't want to loose my family but I have given myself and my love to this man I WILL choose him over them.


Tell me im mad OR stupid , I love him completely we have dated each other 4 years this August

I don't have that problem my N man not only tells me his wage i have access to his bank details
we believe in sharing that side of our life we even have a shared acc that is used just for our trips back home to see his family we hope to do that this Christmas its been 2 years since hes seen his family
I pray we make it

he knows mine i know his I think its a man thing he earns more than me so hes happy to let me know that
if he earnt less maybe his pride would hold him back from sharing

my hubby and I use to kiss a lot at first, but after a while it slowed , as long as i get my welcome home kiss and good bye kisses I'm happy i get disappointed when he doesn't kiss but Ive learnt that there is other things we can do
Ive offten kissed his neck from behind or his brow as i pass him by its my way of showing i care with out putting pressure on him, hugs and cuddles are important too don't let his lack of kisses slow you down. show your love and he will return it, mm mm sometimes ignoring him will bring him too you

Yet when he comes to me for a kiss it fills me with such warmth and love he has no idea how his kiss affects me
thats why hes #1 to me they do have a power over us we feel things differently Rite !!

OK this ones a brain tease , I was married in a foreign country to my now husband who promised a formal wedding when we returned home now the tricky part is my family don't know were married

so I want to marry here not right away once were settled of course
Ive reminded my now hubby of this but hes dissided that once is enough no i don't want to spend thousands i just want a wedding is that greedy of me??

I've also told him that if he doesn't want to remarry here that he should tell my family that we are already wed

What do you think ,

just a second note , I lived with a man who not only cheated on me he beat me , 9 Years of hell yet NOT ONCE did i cheat on him , he took my life my dignity and my respect and destroyed it all I gave birth to his son 8 years later then 1 and 1/2 years later i took his son and i left him behind taking nothing Else,
So in the end he lost so much more. My son and i now live haply, with my new husband it took me 12 years be for i could love let alone trust another man, there not all Pratt's,

I truly believe this man has no sense of self worth, what sort of man could possably think cheating is his god given right, next thing you know hell be saying it OK too beet a woman if she says no to him give us all a break and grow up
I'd like to see how he would react if his woman cheated on him

your no man in my eyes just a selfless child , I want it so I take it is the attitude i get from this
no wonder your so lonely

love gives only to thous who give take it away and all you have is an empty heart