₦airaland Forum

AishaYesufu:
Your father is getting aged (if not aged), you are now his GOC in matters like this. You did well to correct her irrespective of how it is interpreted because with time she will appreciate you for it.

Mryacks:
As irresponsible and selfish as your sister is, that child is innocent. You are not helping out because you want to be rewarded. You are simply a good human being who will surely be blessed by God.

Sometimes in families some carry more cross than others. You didnt cause it, but life happens. You were born into it. As long as God keeps blessing you materially just do your best for that child. That child is like your "first" child. Believe me in the future u will be tha proudest person in the world when you see how that child turns out.

Been there done that..

1F30M4:
After reading your story & deducing some more from your replies..

Paying your niece's school fees shouldn't be obligatory, her mum & dad should be saddled with that responsibility.. Your dad should ask to meet with the man, all members of your family should be present as well.. Y'all need to address this issue, he should make known his intentions, lay them on the table so y'all can move forward, what exactly does he want with your sister? Most importantly, why has he been found wanting in taking up full responsibility of their daughter, what sort of father is he? If e do anyhow, make una give am anyhow, deploy strict measures if need be.. Your parents should put their feet down, how can they turn a blind eye in this kind of situation? It's the way they handle(d) things that he has the guts to do as he pleases/feel as though "anything goes, nothing dey shele".. Question their acclaimed love for your sister, is that the best life they'd want for her? How come she feels superior to them? Was that how y'all grandparents groomed them? They should put a stop to this madness now, clip those wings now.. Imagine having a growing child around her, what sort of role model, what values, what morals will she portray to her daughter? Your parents should really sit up, they've been putting up with her excesses for too long hence she feels so comfortable & sees nothing wrong in her actions.. She should go find a job, anything to settle some bills & take care of her child, no matter how little, that fulfillment is second to none..

Focus on your purpose, self-discovery, career & life in general.. Doesn't mean you won't help out if you can, financially or otherwise, if they seek your advice and you have one or two, do tell even if they don't take it, it's not on you.. If your sister can't see that you've been nothing but a good brother to her then she could as well crash & burn lol I didn't quite mean that but she seems so irredeemable gosh.

cococandy:
Yes you are being used. Draw the line somewhere

Klass99:
Please do not listen to anyone who tells you blood is thicker than water.

A man's worse enemies are from within his own household - na bible talk am not me.

Why have you taken on responsibility that isn't yours in the past? When Nancy and her baby daddy are not cripples incapable of doing honest work to cater for their child?

AishaYesufu:
As a man it is your responsibility to handle family issues but not inherit their problems. Whenever a complaint is made about her, offer listening ears and give the most appropriate advice BUT if they decide not to follow your advice, leave it at that. If they repeat the complain, repeat your advice and let them to decide.

AishaYesufu:
Obviously your father's love for Nancy is making him act beyond his natural self. He needs to take hard decision on her for the good of all.

Richy4:
[color=#000099]All I can tell you is to give money to your parent for their upkeep as always........ whatever they do with it, just act like it's not your business....
For example, If it was #10 you give every month, make sure it's just that amount... If they like, let them use it to train the kid.. If they ask for money for the kid, tell them that your sister is old enough to work she should find a job.... if she's old enough to get pregnant... she should be old enough to face what goes with it

If you wanna go overboard, Tell your parent that you are saving for your wife's bride price... that you too are old enough to have your own kids and Family..

bdchange:
Let me simplify it for you. There are 3 set of people in this case that is causing nuisance to the society. Firstly the said girl, who opens her leg to every tom and dicks available so she could get laid. Secondly the supposedly impregnator who goes about putting his dick in every hole available just to test his manhood and bring miscreants to the world because he will never be responsible. Thirdly the poster who doesn't know how to make his stand and let people be aware that they are responsible for what they create. Believe me if this three set of people dont exist, then we can be dreaming of a better society. Lastly becuase we have sympathisers like you who refused to call a spade what it is then we are in a long shit in this country since we have many of your category out there.

Klass99:
Please do not listen to anyone who tells you blood is thicker than water.

A man's worse enemies are from within his own household - na bible talk am not me.

Why have you taken on responsibility that isn't yours in the past? When Nancy and her baby daddy are not cripples incapable of doing honest work to cater for their child?

foreveryoung1515:
If care is not taking, she's coming home with a second pregnancy soon. As for you, don't start what you can't finish, thos type of sister won't give your wife a breathing space if you renege on your responsibility on the baby. Y"all indulged her too much.

foreveryoung1515:
If care is not taking, she's coming home with a second pregnancy soon. As for you, don't start what you can't finish, thos type of sister won't give your wife a breathing space if you renege on your responsibility on the baby. Y"all indulged her too much.

AishaYesufu:
This kind of advice can only come from a woman.

OP disregard

AishaYesufu:
This kind of advice can only come from a woman.

OP disregard

AishaYesufu:
Your father can't send her away but... he errs by indulging her irresponsible behavior.

As for the child's education, do whatever is in your mind

Karleb:
Oga don't let your parents use your head.

Don't train that child. He's not yours.

If the child's parent are old enough to have sex, then they are old enough to shoulder the responsibilities.

You won't die if you disrespect your parents. You are not their puppy.

...maybe they don't really love like you think.

Richy4:
This story is just too annoying to be honest…. If I should say what’s on my mind now, It will be …..

I will only say that you should take the money that you have with u, rent a house somewhere so that you won’t be seeing, hearing and listening to iniquities …

Before you do that, meet/call the irresponsible father of that kid, Ask him that his son will son be in Nursery school. what's his plans... Since your sister cannot say it then say it on her behalf...Tell him to contribute that it takes two to make babies... If your sister confronts you, and insinuates that you should mind your business and not interfere , then that's the perfect excuse to leave that house and strictly mind your business...

DonEd:
Its not ur obligation.

Just do ur best as a brother and uncle.

A person standing on one foot doesnt carry someone on his back.

peepydelano:
Bad advise,very bad advise.This is how you self acclaimed good African people drives people into depression with your holier than thou attitudes. He has his own life to live and as such he should totally cut off from responsibilities and people who do not appreciate him for his own mental balance.QED

anthonyuncle:
you better stop whatever you are doing for her and that child.
it is not wickedness, it is you being fair.

1. they will never be satisfied and it won't make her(your sister) change.

2. the little respect your family is giving you is because you are now made (without their support and influence)

3. (God forbid!) if you go broke tomorrow, they will show you hell.

start focusing on yourself more.

if you are still living in the family house, move out and get your own apartment.

start investing your money in things that can secure a better future for you and your children.
buy landed properties.
advance your education - go for masters and other advance studies.
sponsor the enrollment of people for apprenticeship.
take yourself out and relax more frequently.

johnkey:
weak men everywhere, at this my age sef my mama no fit follow me reason nonsense talkless of when I reach 32. As long as you give your mom and dad money for their upkeep, I see no reason why you should act like a dumb hypnotized chicken. Imagine 40+ year old man and she's still sleeping with him, lol sorry to say but you are a family of fools. pray tell, you attend Lord's Chosen, right?

bdchange:
sorry to tell you this, your family is in dissarray. And you seems not to know your left from your right as well. A person above 18 is an adult and should bear the consequences of their actions. The earlier you understand this, the better your life becomes. Men of these days are so weak, how then can they raise a fearful and discipline children. God help this generation of weak men everywhere.

bestabigaelever:
Don't pay the child school fees at your expense, anything you can dash, give them

If anyone is stressing you too much in the family, show the person crazy
If you change am for them once everybody go respect themselves

I appreciate

sisisioge:
You dont owe her or the child anything. Say no and stand by it.


I honestly dont think Esther has been allowed to understand what it takes to nurture a child. You the community keeps enabling her. No thank you!

johnkey:
weak men everywhere, at this my age sef my mama no fit follow me reason nonsense talkless of when I reach 32. As long as you give your mom and dad money for their upkeep, I see no reason why you should act like a dumb hypnotized chicken. Imagine 40+ year old man and she's still sleeping with him, lol sorry to say but you are a fool.

Mindlog:
I understand that concept of "mother re-incarnated" but sadly your parents have been your younger sister's enablers and will continue to be.

You have no business being responsible for the education of your sister's child, when the birth father and birth mother are alive and still in a sexual relationship rather let your father tell your sister to get her baby daddy to come with his kinsmen to "do something on her head" since they are still addicted to each other, so that can go live together with their daughter, have as much sex as they want and be responsible for the resultant pregnancies.

Be assertive and focus on building your own life as you are not getting any younger.

Thank you.

Mindlog:
I understand that concept of "mother re-incarnated" but sadly your parents have been your younger sister's enablers and will continue to be.

You have no business being responsible for the education of your sister's child, when the birth father and birth mother are alive and still in a sexual relationship rather let your father tell your sister to get her baby daddy to come with his kinsmen to "do something on her head" since they are still addicted to each other, so that can go live together with their daughter, have as much sex as they want and be responsible for the resultant pregnancies.

Be assertive and focus on building your own life as you are not getting any younger.

DaddyRochie1642:
Oga this your case is too strong

aroundtheearth:
Nancy and her irresponsible baby daddy won't get their act together if you keep shouldering their responsibilities. Since she's still sleeping with him, if she gets pregnant again, the responsibilities will also be on you, so I would suggest putting your foot down now that you'll no longer cater to them. Live your life and continue to help your younger brother who's in Uni, but let Nancy and her baby daddy sort themselves out, or tell your parents who are siding with her lifestyle to step in. All of them are capable and able-bodied, so let them do the needful, otherwise they will continue to take advantage of you, while disrespecting you to boot.

Thank you.

Cutehector:
Chase nancy away. Let life humble her then she will come back to her senses.

Kylekent59:
I gat three words for you.

Be a man!
Please make it explicit.