Sorry at responder #14, I will not do that. Its will be against everything that i believe and i will be empowering Satan

@Exponential: I have stopped picking her calls. but since last night she has been sending SMS like 10 of them.

@Flashaldrin: I would have told her by now but its 3am here. I will once she wake up.

My brother, I do not want to joke with my marriage. My people say that "where dem dey do eye medicine dem no dey grind pepper". So i will tell her so we can deal with the situation as a family.

@Rokiatu: I agree with you to an extent. I will start by telling my Wife first so that any and all actions will be jointly taken. I stand by my word that I have not had any physical relationship with this woman. I do love my wife and will not let anything, talk less of this woman, come between us.

@Rokiatu: I have actually thought of that only that i dont think she has the power to make me change my phone#. I really have not had any sexual, even kissing with this chic.

My people, happy Easter...its only unfortunate that this is not the best Easter story, but am still going to tell the story.

I lived in the East before moving to the US 10 years ago. Back in Naija, i had this friend (not a girl friend) and we kept in touch until most recently. Back in 2004/2005 she started trying to obtain me and telling me how she missed me and would wait for me to come back and get married to her. I never told her i was travelling because i did not have to. Lets fast forward till 2010 when I came home. She heard i was back in 2009 but did not see or call her. Then she ran into me and my brother. Since then, i have not rested. She is now married with 3 or 4 kids and she has been blowing the top off my phone. I have asked her to stop calling and her answer was "I wont stop". This is really pissing me off. I never had and physical knowledge of this woman. I do not want much more problems. I told her i am happily married just as she is. Someone please tell me what you would do.

Hello my people. I am using this forum to sample information for use in a an on-going health application development and deployment. My target audience would be: nurses, physicians, healthcare workers and anyone of interest who is exposed to patient patient experience  (either as a patient, family member, vendor or provider). Please feel free to comment or ask any questions.

1.  What is the approximate patient - doctor ratio in Nigeria?
2   What is the approximate patient - Nurse ratio in Nigeria?
3.  If you are a nurse or a physician, how would a GSM-dependent mobile health application affect your work - in terms of time, efficiency and safety?
4   If you were to desire a healthcare application system as a nurse or a doctor, what would you want this application/program do for you?

Sorry I know that's a lot of questions but, i will appreciate any opinion. Thank you very much.

See

@poster
As i feel bad for you, I already know what i wont do as a guy. We have already agreed that no one comes to live with us as in "LIVE-IN". It can cause alot of problems. We both have very good relationship with our families but when it comes to our "space". So I really feel your pain. but if it were my wife, our bro-in-law will be gone, sent away by me. not even because of his relationship with my wife, but from all thoses other little stuff. Find a way to let your husband know that the house cannot contain the 2 of you !

@Love4ual

How is Tusc., AL ? We are contemplating making the move from MD to AL due to work related reasons

@Poster

I can relate to your situation in a different but personal way. My wife is Nigerian American (Kalabari) and am Igbo. When i moved here, i never planned to date talkless of marrying american-born Nigerian largely due to popular opinions/assumptions. She suprised me by turning out to be my best friend and my wife.
I think that different induviduals, far from getting caught up in the crowd opinions, will genuinely treat you with respect and learn to know you as a person first before drawing a conclusions.

@Gogodaye: Very insightful comments and the website is very informational.

Thanks Guys for your good wishes

To all my friends who responded/
we are finally counting down to 45days to go for the Ceremony. As many of you pointed out, the list was very exhaustive and doing all will be very daunting, at least for now. So we both have asked for some type of modification to the list so we can comfortably do this and then move on towards building our lives (since we are also planning for the church wedding here in the US).

One more question, is it true that my (our) kids are not "mine/ours" until we do the Iyaa marriage? Please does anyone have any idead what this part of the tradition is all about?

Thanks

Thank you very much. For my wife, we are hoping to get a clinic started after she have worked for a few years in a Nigerian clinic. Working for the government is out of the question. As we are both legit and have been employed sor a long time now. But i get the pic in terms of Abuja vs PH vs Calabar. very much valued. Thank you very much.

My people, I just wanted to get opinions (not judgement) about my plans of moving back to Nigeria.

Me and my soon-to-be-wife, have been floating this idea of moving back home. So we started making some strategic moves to enhance ourselves/packaging. First, just acquired a land in Abuja. OK. i have gone back to sch to finish my masters degree (Telecom Engr). While she is a Physician, I am a project manager in (Clinical Informatics). We both did all our studies here in the US and we both just turned 30. So here are my questions

1. Whats the job market in Telecom in Nigeria like?
2. What are the prospects of physician earning potential. (btw she is an Obstetrician) - please don't crucify us on this very question since income is very important to us.
3. We are looking at Abuja, Calabar or PH for residence, any comments?
4. If we are your brother/sister/children, what will be the best piece of advice for us?

All opinions are welcome including those who recently relocated to Nigeria. Thank you very much.

@Soty i really get your drift and thanks as any info is valued.

To all the posters, the family said they will make it easy on us. The fact is that we both are not at home to run the errands and do all that needs to be done. While i would want to marry my beloved girlfirend in the proper way, i am also not loosing the sight of the fact that we need to eat and live. In all the marriage will be as expensive as our pockets.

My people correct me if i am wrong

@Wallie: You reminded me of a Comp. math class took me a whole day to solve one question (LWKMD) simply because i had to take it all in very very slowly. Also when the teacher makes a joke in the class, i would not laugh simply because i really dont know what they are talking about. But God is great, they are causes of laughter today.

I might not be able to argue the extent to which foreign-trained graduates are considered better than our Nigerian counterparts, but I might be able to point out certain indisputable facts between the two.
When i came to the US for undergrad, one of my biggest issues was to catch up. I not only found out that the kids in my programming class have been exposed to that since high school, i was made to understand that "this is not a refresher class from high school curriculum".

I can also tell you, confidently, that any grade that i have/had were mine. I had not gotten an A because i bought some handout or smiled at the teacher in certain type of way.

Was i exposed to real-world scenario? Boy, we had industry personnel/professionals who were truly vested in seeing that you become a better person. Up till the end of my grad school, i still have a very supporting alumni network who are and continue to be available to help make a you industry-ready.

When you meet a new student where i tutor (i volunteer to tutor fresh grad kids once a week after work), let me be honest, i feel somewhat bad for them. Why? They have spent so many years, time and resources in a Naija school and there might be very little to show for it. Either due to lack of better teachers/teaching materials or maybe poverty or a gross failure of the system. There is a noticeable awareness of the need to catch up.

Those of you who did sciences in secondary school and grraduated in the 90's know about IUPAC Nomenclature in chemistry. When i got here 10yrs ago i was told that IUPAC was dead long time ago. Trust me i had just studied for it in WAEC.

So poster and readers alike, Yes i believe there is a significant space between the two.

I will definitely do whats comfortable to both of us. I will however not want to deviate much from her custom.

I will check out that website. Thanks

Hello readers and posters alike, just using this forum to source information (not opinion).

I have been dating my beautiful Kalabari girl friend and i think its about time to "put a ring on it". So here comes the question:

a. I need a basic information regarding Kalabari tradition(al) marriage process/steps.
b. How different is the customary dowry process from the Igbos (i am igbo).

Sorry guys/ladies, i did not want to ask her since i don't want her to have any idea till her ring gets to me. Any idea/information will be appreciated. Thanks.