Hello readers and posters alike, just using this forum to source information (not opinion).

I have been dating my beautiful Kalabari girl friend and i think its about time to "put a ring on it". So here comes the question:

a. I need a basic information regarding Kalabari tradition(al) marriage process/steps.
b. How different is the customary dowry process from the Igbos (i am igbo).

Sorry guys/ladies, i did not want to ask her since i don't want her to have any idea till her ring gets to me. Any idea/information will be appreciated. Thanks.

op

just do it anyhow dat suit u

Go to their website www.Calabarmarriage.Wap.Org

Are you not the one getting married? You can do what you like

I will definitely do whats comfortable to both of us. I will however not want to deviate much from her custom.

I will check out that website. Thanks

the poster said KALABARI (a tribe in Rivers State) and not CALABAR!!! they are very different.
@poster, sorry can't help you with this. All the best anyways

well brother.there notin to it.its same like any other.the trad rites can be done at her home town or her fathers residence(WHEREVER DAT IZ)
ur family will hav a rep as usual,that will discuss with ur fiance family rep, make sure the person is familiar wt the Rivers tradition so u dnt spend much
the rites are the same.clothes for bride/brides mum(this can be hired,so try not to buy den), cash to compound ppl(smtins r best paid for dan stress ursef goin to buy and savin tym from countin em at the scene).special food for chieves (if her dad is one).
they will pull schemes to extract cash eg tell u her boat is stuck on the sea and dey need moni to pay the mech to fix the boat. discuss those issues with her/her family ahead to cut cost.
other than dat,ur a married man.trust me,u'll neva look outside with a kalabari woman, i case u dnt knw they r decendants of calabar women+ijaw women=kalabari women, so jst imagine hw happy ur home will be
sory for the lenghty txt bt u askd for it, wish u a happy home

Its very easy. When the priest asks the question, make sure you are still standing there to say I do.

Kalabari marriage is expensive. You have to do what they call BIBIFE buying of mouth. I think the best person to ask is your girlfriend to give you the breakdown. Then if the girls family is understanding you can cme to some kind of arrangement. But if youn want to the real kalabari tradtional marriage its expensive.

Kalabari marriage customs is reputed to be expensive, but with the present economic situation most families will assist a prospective son-in-law by giving a soft landing in terms of expenses. So OP don't fret coz it's probably gonna be the same when compared with any other tribe's, good luck

kalabari marriage cant be as expensive as Igbo marriage with the dowry etc.

@Soty i really get your drift and thanks as any info is valued.

To all the posters, the family said they will make it easy on us. The fact is that we both are not at home to run the errands and do all that needs to be done. While i would want to marry my beloved girlfirend in the proper way, i am also not loosing the sight of the fact that we need to eat and live. In all the marriage will be as expensive as our pockets.

My people correct me if i am wrong

To all my friends who responded/
we are finally counting down to 45days to go for the Ceremony. As many of you pointed out, the list was very exhaustive and doing all will be very daunting, at least for now. So we both have asked for some type of modification to the list so we can comfortably do this and then move on towards building our lives (since we are also planning for the church wedding here in the US).

One more question, is it true that my (our) kids are not "mine/ours" until we do the Iyaa marriage? Please does anyone have any idead what this part of the tradition is all about?

Thanks

Please discountenance the claim that the children are not yours. [Such situations might probably arise/occur if your spouse was an only daughter/child and her father might decree and make it a condition that her children stay back literally to take up the positions of heirs in his homestead in the absence of his not have had male heirs himself [which in it self is rare in these modern times]. the kids bear your name, may or may not live in your house and enjoy the benefit of being heirs to their maternal grand fathers' properties, inclusive of ascendance to chieftaincy stools, if any.

The 'Iya' marriage is the 'topmost'/'highest class' in the varying types of marriage ceremonies/celebrations engaged in by the Kalabari people. It has its own distinctive rites associated with it, notary amongst which is the requirement that the bride be provided a distinct quarter in her husband's homestead, which is exclusive to her even after the death of her spouse.

Any woman married under the 'Iya' system is accorded the highest of rights in her husbands homestead as well as in the community. Children born to a woman married under the 'Iya' marriage are accorded full right of inheritance to all properties owned by their parents more particularly their father.

Congratulations,once again.

l would wish to further commend this precise on the 'IYA' Marriage to you. See:- http:www.namywedding.com/articles/63-kalabari-custom-wedding-traditional-marraiage-series

The Iya marriage stuff is interesting.Wow

@OP,Congrats and wishing you a happy married life.

@Gogodaye: Very insightful comments and the website is very informational.

Thanks Guys for your good wishes

please i need information on the marriage customs of the kalabari if a yoruba lady is marrying a kalabari ma.






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please i need information on the marriage customs of the kalabari if a yoruba lady is marrying a kalabari man.