-20,400 GB of global IP data transferred.
-70+ BotNet Infections.
-12 New victims of identity theft.
-3+ New Wikipedia Articles published.
-102 Million Emails sent.
-700 new Mobile Users.
-25.000 App downloads.
-$45,000 sales on Amazon.
-31,141 hours of music played on Pandora.
-55+ New linked in Accounts.
-Over 10 Millions photo.
-Views, 3500+ Photo uploads on Flickr.
-165 + New Twitter accounts, 50,000+
New Tweets. -150,000 Facebook Log ins.
3M+ Facebook Views ,
350,000 Status update,
40,000+ Wall

what do you do most on the web?

chai!! see meat

I blow alot of them yesterday and thinking less about the danger.
Anyway, some people will say ''wasting your money'', really?
The fact is that you can't eat money rather you will use it to buy something.
what do you think about blowing bangers/knock-outs/firework?
Is it childish or not?
Do blowing it really Activated Christmass Spirit? (I think)
#merry #xxmass

#FP mod.

must I comment? lol

happy christmass to u all

Hello friends , How are you ? Hope , you are fine . Please forgive me if i make any
mistake in my language . Today i want to discuss about “ How you can Increase Internet Speed on PC to Double (2X) . Why you need this ? There are some place , where only 2G network available which a slow
connection . Or you can Use this method on 3G , any ISP , any place your
home / workplace . Lets start - To Increase Internet Speed on PC up to Double (2X) , We need to do below this
1. 1 PC
2. 2 Modems / LAN ( its possible to use 2 ISP Modem at same time , for
example 1 is MTN and another is Airtel )
3. 1 Software named “Wingate”
Step- a . At first you need to install the Driver of 2 Modems , which you want
to use . Then you need to create two Dial up Connection .
In this Tutorial I will use Windows XP OS and 2 Modems of my ISP .
To create 1st Dial up Connection follow this -
Settings-Control Panel-Network Connections-Create New network
connections-next- Connect to the internet – Set up my connection manually – connect using a dial up modem – ISP name- GP 1 ( use any
name here ) – Phone no -*99# - next-finish .
To create 2nd Dial up Connection follow this -
Settings-Control Panel-Network Connections-Create New network
connections-next- Connect to the internet – Set up my connection
manually – connect using a dial up modem – ISP name -GP 2 ( use any name here ) – Phone no - *99# - next-finish .
Now we need to create individual APN on GP 1 and GP 2 .
Settings-Control Panel-Phone and modem options - Country- Bangladesh
( use your country name here ) and Area Code – 1000 ( use your area
code here )
. Plug in this two modem on your PC’s USB port , then go to Settings-
Control Panel-Phone and modem options .
Click on Modem . Select GP 1 , then - Properties -Advanced and write this
command on Extra initialization command field
AT+CGDCONT=1,"IP","gpinternet"
Replace gpinternet with your ISP default APN . Again you need to do that for another Modem named - GP 2 .
go to Settings-Control Panel-Phone and modem options .
Click on Modem . Select GP 2 , then - Properties -Advanced and write this
command on Extra initialization command field
AT+CGDCONT=1,"IP","gpinternet"
Replace gpinternet with your ISP default APN . Now 2 Dial up Connection ready for use .
b . Download Wingate Software and install it , follow the rules of
installation http://www.wingate.com/download/wingate/download.php 1) Click on "I agree"
2) Click on “Configure this Computer as the Wingate Server “ 3) Click on Next . Choose directory if you need .
4) Click on “Use the operating system (Windows) user database”
5) Select Install ENS (recommended) . Click on Next
6) Unmark Auto update .
7) Click on “Activate button Request a trial for any product” Select Next .
If you have problem to license , then you select “ get active by email” Next ,finish . ( You need a trial license for 30 days , wingate gives it
online ) Restart you PC . See on your pc’s Taskbar , there are 2 icons shows , Double click on it
OR
Click - Start > Programs > Wingate > Wingate VPN Manager , if you did
not get license , please active it now and must connect a Modem when
you try to get license because its need data connection .
Mark “use current windows login” 9) Click Gatekeeper window , then Click on Service . Delete all service
without "WWW Proxy service" , you can use your keyboard “Delete” 10) Double Click on "WWW Proxy service" Set - Service Port - 80 . Click on
“ ok “ 11) Double Click on "WWW Proxy service" Click on “ Bindings” you find it
on left side . Mark “Bind only to 127. 0. 0. 1 on MS TCP Loopback
interface” 12) Double Click on "WWW Proxy service" . Click on "Gateways"
"Connection Scheme" – Select "Use all specified connections in rotation"
Click on "Add ” add GP 1 and GP 2 Add one by one
Mark "Any gateway" and "Any IP address"
Unmark "Dial this connection if it is not connected" . Click ok , then Save
it . 13) Set Manual Proxy configuration on Browser and IDM . Http ,Https
Proxy- 127. 0. 0. 1 , Port-80 All setting Complete , Now we enjoy the 2X speed ( Browse+ Download)
* Connect GP 1 and GP 2 on your PC
*Start / Double Click on Wingate icon from taskbar , minimize it .
* Now Surf and Download with 2X speed . Suppose , MTN 512 Kbs+ Airtel
512 Kbs = 1 Mbs
Enjoy.................................................................

deb6: wat of madonna uni

madona kwa?? Hw much do they pay?? The above university school fees is in binary

Encomium Gone are the days when university education was
free! It now costs a fortune to have your child
educated in a private university. Parents part with as
much as N3 million per year for their child to earn a
degree in a private university. The advent of
missionary schools has not even helped matters.
ENCOMIUM Weekly presents to you the second part of
the most expensive private universities in Nigeria.

1) [size=30pt]BABCOCK UNIVERSITY[/size]
This is a private Christian co-educational university
owned and operated by the Seventh-Day Adventist
Church in Nigeria. The university was established as
the Adventist College of West Africa (ACWA) in 1957.
Their school fee ranges from N620,000 to N3 million. In Babcock University, your meal and hostel defines
your fee. It offers two and three daily meal services.
And for accommodation, there are three to seven
students in a room. When it comes to
accommodation, it depends on your choice. Either it is
regular (7 in a room), premium (4 in a room) or classic (3 or 2 in a room). Here is a breakdown of Babcock school fees: Medicine:
N3 million, Law: N2 million, Accounting: N1.5 million,
Nursing: N1 million, other faculties: N860,000 –
N620,000.

2) [size=30pt]AMERICAN UNIVERSITY OF NIGERIA (ABTI)[/size]
ABTI is the first Nigerian university with American
structure and curriculum. It is in north eastern Nigeria,
Yola, capital of Adamawa State. At ABTI, students pay
as much as N1,378,500 to receive quality education.
Parents, however, pay in dollars. For tuition: $6,600 (N990,000), meals: $1,900
(285,000), four in a room: $500 (N75,000), private
room: $1,900 – N285,000). In total, it amounts to
N1,378,500 per annum. Accommodation and feeding are taken care by the
school.

3) [size=30pt]AFE BABALOLA UNIVERSITY[/size]
Afe Babalola University is a private higher institution
in Ado-Ekiti, Ekiti State. It was established in 2009 by
Nigeria’s foremost lawyer and legal icon, Chief Afe
Babalola (SAN). The fee covers tuition, development
levy, ICT, ID card, medical, sports, PTCF levy, course
registration, caution fee and accommodation which is either four per room or two per room. Here is a breakdown of their school fees: For Engineering: N925,000 (4 beds) and N1,075,000 (2
beds). Health Science: N725,000 (4 beds) and N875,000 (2
beds) Sciences: N675,000 (4 beds) and N825,000 (2 beds) Social Management Science: N675,000 (4 beds) and
N825,000 (2 beds) The fee ranges from N675,000 to N1,075,000
annually. There is no provision for feeding.

4) [size=30pt]IGBINEDION UNIVERSITY[/size]
The university came into existence following the
presentation of certificate of approval on May 16,
1999. Thus, it became the first licensed private
university in Nigeria. The tuition ranges from
N540,000 to N820,000 without feeding. For Medicine, Pharmacy, Law and Engineering, they
pay a tuition of N610,000, accommodation: N100,000
and other facilities: N110,000. BOWEN UNIVERSITY It is owned and operated by the Nigerian Baptist
Convention, at Iwo in Osun State and opened
November 4, 2002. The tuition fee ranges from
N500,000 to N750,000 per annum. The university is
only responsible for accommodation and tuition.
Students are made to buy their food from the cafeteria.

5) [size=30pt]CRAWFORD UNIVERSITY[/size]
Crawford University is a private Christian institution in
Igbesa, Nigeria. It was established in 2005. The school
provides accommodation for students but does not
provide feeding. Parents only pay for tuition,
accommodation and some additional charges. The
school fee ranges from N400,000 to N600,000.

6) [size=30pt]REDEEMER’S UNIVERSITY[/SIZE]
Redeemer’s University is a Christian school located in
Redemption City, Ogun State, Nigeria. It was opened
in 2005. At Redeemers, Natural Science pays
N605,000, Management Sciences; N575,000 and
Humanities pays N545,000. All this fees are paid
without feeding but tuition and accommodation.
We can see that the fees range from N500,000 to
N650,000 per annum.

Source: http://encomium.ng/most-expensive-private-universities-in-nigeria-unveiled/ [font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font]

Making Front page on Nairaland for Learners.
Are you a learner If yes,
This is a guide to making front page on Nairaland and staying there for
a long time.
Considering the fact that I've not made front page before, I hope am
right. Now let's proceed.
TIP 1
1] FASTING & PRAYER
Do you know the number of people who want to make Front page on
Nairaland?
We plenty oooo. Front page tinz dey enta eye. So by Fire by Force, by Hook or by Crook, We have to make Front page.
So my people say afta mii...
“OH LORD MY GOD, ALL THOSE PEOPLE STOPING ME FROM FLYING INTO
FRONT PAGE, BABA GOD, FOR MY SAKE, LET THEM RUN MAD”.
Some of you mite say Ah,Ehn, Dat is to much nah etc but believe me it
is for your own good. But make sure you have done at least 50 DAYS OF FASTING or else my
friend, na yhur time you dey waste oooh.
49 DAYZ IS NOT ALLOWED!
TIP 2
2] BABALAWO
For does of yhu who prefare to go to Baba for specific reasons, This is for you.
Here are the requirements.
-The Middle claw of a Lion
-The Tail of a Man
-White Cloth{ 1 Metre long }
-Black Cloth{ 1 metre long} -Aso oke
-Gold or Diamonds
-The Heart of a Shark
-Palm wine
-A New Car for Ifa
-Red oil -Ororo
-Ata gungun
-Koin Koin { Sponge } ... and some other items that I can't recall.
I will ask Baba 4 the rest.
TIP 3
3] BRIBING THE MODS This one na 2 SURE. Do me I do you, Scratch my back I scratch yours...
Your a Nigerian. You know as the tin dey go na.
So if yhu scratch the back of the Mods and they scratch yours, I tell you
everybody will be happy.
So scratch the back of a Mod today.
My people I dey come, make I go Crack my head and come back with more wonderful Tips.

>>Source>> https://www.nairaland.com/1456104/make-front-page-nairaland-sure

I visits this site as much as I usually visit facebook.
Reading posts and comments is what I like doing here, sometimes I do like to comment.

No. 1 website in Nigeria is what I call this website, ( for my mind??) but what annoys me most is that Nairaland is not a 24hours website and I don't like it.
Why?
*Most of the topics/threads (especially those on frontpage) are created in the day-time.
*Moderators are not always online.
*Nairaland is almost boring in the night.
Why?? Why? Why

-D.Oga@dtop(Seun) do sometthing ( assign moderators/admins that will be working in the night time) *lets make nairaland better than the best place.


I belong to #team #nairaland #lovers

-GOOD -BETTER -NAIRALAND

*Dolcy Benwarri>> Tecno L3 ,P3,M3 Pls which one is d highest n pinging n batry lasting Like · 2 · 7 hours ago
*Tecno Mobile Nigeria>> L3 Like · 7 hours ago


source>> https://m.facebook.com/comment/replies/?ctoken=652005471509423_2316641&ft_ent_identifier=652005471509423&gfid=AQDHvUUncYKbOHrS&refid=13&_ft_=qid.5958414246175828518%3Amf_story_key.8907354336899723701

whats your take on this?

Where does the U.S. rank on the list of the top 10 countries or regions
with the fastest broadband connections? Nowhere. Bloomberg.com got an early look at the quarterly Internet report that
Akamai Technologies will publish later today. The rankings, which cover
July through September of last year, are based on average peak
connection speeds. The U.S. landed at No. 14, partly because of its large landmass, which is
difficult to fully cover with high-speed fiber.

10. Singapore

With an average of 30.7 megabits per second, Singapore cracked the top
10 with a peak speed that is nearly double the global average of 15.9
megabits per second. Thanks in part to its fast broadband, Singapore "is a tech hub," said David
Belson, who edited the report. The country is also home to well-known
techie Eduardo Saverin, who moved there and renounced his U.S.
citizenship before last year's initial public offering of Facebook, which he
co-founded.

9. Israel

Web startup culture and fast Internet go hand in hand, said Belson, the
Akamai editor. That's why it shouldn't surprise anyone that Israel made
the list. The country's average peak speed was 30.9 megabits per second. "There's good connectivity," he said. "And there are smart, very technical
people." A recent study conducted by researcher Startup Genome found Tel Aviv
to be the best place for startups behind Silicon Valley.

8. Bulgaria

With its low taxes and cheap labor, Bulgaria is marketing itself as an
attractive destination for global companies and investors. Another
selling point? Its Internet speed. Bulgarian broadband reached an
average of 32.1 megabits per second, an increase of 15 percent
compared with the previous quarter.

7. Switzerland

Befitting a major hub of the finance industry, Switzerland was clocked at
32.4 megabits per second on average. That compares with that other
major hub, the U.S., which had an average peak speed of 29.6 megabits
per second.

6. Belgium

Belgium Internet connections peaked at an average of 32.7 megabits per
second. At that speed, you could download the 2002 spy comedy
"Austin Powers in Goldmember," featuring Mike Myers's Belgian baddie,
in about six minutes.

5. Romania

Among those in the top 10, Romania was the only one to see its average
peak speed fall from the previous quarter. The country's average
dropped 3.2 percent, compared with a global average decrease of 1.4
percent. Still, most countries would love to have Romania's broadband speed.
With an average peak speed of 37.4 megabits per second, it was beat by
Latvia by just a tenth of a megabit per second.

4. Latvia

When thinking about the most technologically advanced nations, Latvia
probably doesn't come to mind. But broadband lines there reached an
average peak speed of 37.5 megabits per second, placing the country in
the top four. "Some of the Eastern European countries that are on here have a good
reputation for Internet connectivity," Belson said. "They're smaller. They
have a lot of government backing."

3. Japan

The country's electronics industry may be losing its edge, but Japan's
telecommunications technology is still on top of its game. The Japanese government has long prioritized Internet development as a
national goal, Belson said. High-speed optic fiber runs through many
parts of the country. Japanese connections reached 42.2 megabits per
second on average, Akamai said.

2. South Korea

Online gaming sucks up a lot of bandwidth, and there are few nations
that love their games more than South Korea. It is home to several
gaming competitions, such as World Cyber Games, and has entire
television channels devoted to "electronic sports." The average peak connection for the country was 48.8 megabits per
second. And broadband, as in several of the top-ranked nations, is
relatively cheap, too. People in Seoul can get 100 megabit-per-second
lines for $31.90 a month, the report said. "The pricing there is way more affordable," Belson said.

1. Hong Kong

With its high population density and strong government support,
Internet access in Hong Kong is blazing fast. And unlike Internet lines just
across the border, content censorship is virtually nonexistent. (China is
ranked at No. 123, Belson said.) The average peak speed in Hong Kong was 54.1 megabits per second,
according to Akamai, making it No. 1 on the list. At that speed, you could
download the HD movie "Battleship," which is set in Hong Kong, in about
four minutes. But why would you want to?

Source: http://mobile.bloomberg.com/slideshow/2013-01-23/top-10-countries-with-the-fastest-internet.html

AFTER GOING THRUOGH DIS I WAS LIKE
''NOBODY GONNA MAKE IT
''

Ok here is what a certain Evangelist
Thompson
Eyinnaya lists as sins.I decided to publish
them
so you can findout if you are sinless …I’m
utterly speechless….Wearing wedding rings is a
sin..WOW
1. Playing of worldly music or
using it as a ring
tone is sin
2. Wearing uniform in burial & perfume is
sin Isaiah. 3:16-24
3. Having calendar of
Jesus Christ picture is sin
4. Mourning after burial of person and
hatred
and stingy is sin
5. Weaving with your natural hair as a woman
short gown is sin
6. Putting weavon and relaxer and
thread and mini skirt is sin
7. Putting of attachment and per cake
and short skirt is sin
8. Putting of wool and women wearing
tight,
torn gown is sin
9. Any Pastor that compromise word of
God no heaven for him
10. Wearing of sleeveless outside your
room, is
sin
11. Women wearing trouser is sin
(Deuteronomy. 22:5)
12. Wearing of chain watch and any chain / ring is sin
13. Wearing of bangles, necklace, earring,
wedding ring is sin (Ezekiel 7:19-21
Genesis
35: 2, deception and defile is sin.
14. Putting on eye lashes and wet lips and
disobedience is sin
15. Bleaching of body
and gossiping idolatry,
greed is sin
16. Lipstick, eye pencil, cortex, finger
nails & body spray is sin
17. Wearing of singlet as a man outside
your
room is sin
18. Not paying your tithe or
going to church
late is sin (Malachi 3:10). Those things you are
putting on is belongs to devil.
19. Any name attached with idol
whether your
father’s name or you is sin and wearing
of jean and apron and bum short is sin
20. Barbing of hair style as a woman or man
is sin
21. Sagging, unforgiveness, abortion
fighting & adultery is sin.
22. If you don’t have the 9 fruits of
holyspirit
no heaven for you
23. Smoking cigarette,
doing Ashebi and cross-
bearer is sin
24. Playing gambling or pool and
drinking of
any alcohol is sin
25. Opening Hairdressing saloon as
business is
sin
26. Any barbering saloon barbering hair style
is sin
27. Any pastor wedding people with
wedding
ring, wedding sleeveless is going to hell
fire.
28. Fornication, stealing, lying, killing,
bitterness, pride are sin
29. No divorcee
will enter heaven
(Deuteronomy 22: 29)
30. Any woman wearing Torn Skirt& any
artificial beauty is sin
31. Any woman wearing sleeveless
outside the
room is sin
32. Any woman wearing
pinging skirt and
covetciousness is sin
33. Any woman wearing show back and show
your chest is sin
34. Anybody putting tattoo on his body
is sin
Leviticus 19 : 28
35. Any woman doing
palming on your hair is sin
36. Any tailor sewing these clothes
(pinging
skirt, torn skirts, trouser for women) for
them
will not see God and you are going to hell fire.
37. Their hair shall be low cut, both
female and male (no style). God is not a
respecter of any
body
38. All these things you see here is from pit of
hellfire
40.Carrying corpse into the church is sin.
Watching of Wrestling, blue films &
colour films is sin. not paying your wife
dowry and a man marrying 2 wives is sin Billions of people
are in hellfire because of
those sins Jesus said anyone doing this
things or putting
on this things, they will not enter
heaven. So repent now. I am raising my bible up to
declare
that your blood is no longer on my head.

DISCUSS: IS IT OK FOR A WOMAN TO PROPOSE TO A MAN ?

[img]http://3.bp..com/-QIlsAvQDnhI/UqNRTRYH4QI/AAAAAAAABI8/-oyZscSTLZ4/s1600/Untitled.png[/img]
bleaching or photoshop?.....

Credit>> http://africzone..com/2013/12/omg-is-this-really-bleaching-or.html?spref=tw&m=1

This is not a mathematics but A Fact,

NEXT YEAR = NEXT MONTH.

True or False?

Melancholy: @mod Frontpage tins

hw I go fit move my thread to frontpage >> https://www.nairaland.com/1542845/bend-over-look-upside-down

waitin for VISAFONE to come to NiGERIA! Anyway, etisalat is still d best network not minding that'they deducts your money everytime, AUTO-RENEWing lifelesson, love tips, blah blah blah.
The other day, they deductd my #100 in a twinklee of an eye.

Moreoves, 10 things that makes a network a better network in Nigeria is:
1. Affordable data plan (even giving out free data)
2. speed of your data trnsmission
3. Promo
4. Awuf (not scamming)
5. Awuf (not scamming)
6. Awuf (not scamming)
7. Network Signal strenght
8. Stability
9. Availabilty of free browsing cheat
10. Customer care center's interaction (not necesary? but true)

how can I move my thread to frontpage? See it >> www.nairaland.com/1542845/bend-over-look-upside-down somebody help me!

Alikaxon: @op. Why didn't u go and experience nd withness it urself b4 sharing. You want me to do it 4 u? U want me to get slapped by a ghost? Hmm. They say experience is the best teacher, but in this case, I want to learn 4rm ur own experience, It doesn't matter whoose experience it is, experience is experience nd I've learnt 4rm it. Pls tell me how u got slapped?

never will I

Have you ever heard of this? I believe you must have heard it.



I hope the above picture explains what am about to say.
I had been hearing of this story since my early age, friends, brothers and sisters telling this story ''if you bend down especially in the market you will see ghost walking with their head and they will slap you''.

I don't wanna try am ooo! and you, dont try am oo! Or else
I strongly believe this story cos I really believe the existence of spirit.
I'm a Christain and my family also.

I don't have much to say, I just want you guys especially those that had witnessed it to share their experience

How to Spot a Fake Pastor



Not all pastors are called by God. Some are called by their own greed, pride,
as well as financial gain. Here are just a few obvious traits that are around a
fake pastor that has put himself at pastoral duty and not by God.
1 Pride - Beware of pastors who habitually refers to the congregation as "my
church," instead of "the church." Acts 20:28 - Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you
overseers, to care for the church of God , which he obtained with his own
blood.

2 Family - Do not trust a pastor who has children that are not model Christians
themselves. According to the bible, if a pastor cannot take care of his own household he cannot take care of the church. He must also love his wife 'as Christ loves the church.' Titus 1:6 -
"namely, if any man is above reproach, the husband of one wife , having
children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion ."
3 Greed - Watch out for pastors who use church finances to "pay themselves"
and buy extravagant homes, cars and/or other extravagant items .1 Timothy 6:5 - "and constant friction between people of corrupt mind, who have been
robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial
gain"
4 Example - Look out for pastors who do not do as they preach. Although this characteristic does not necessarily mean to leave your church. According to
Jesus in Matthew (23:3) "So you must be careful to do everything they tell
you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they
preach." This means as long as you are receiving the truth, even when it is from
Satan himself or other (if it were possible) you should still listen to that
message about the truth.
Having said that make sure you do you homework! Acts 17:11 - "Now
the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in
Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true."



Tips
Do not go to a church because you are comfortable there, plain and simply,
choose a church that doesn't just teach messages on Sundays but follows
and strives to be like Jesus Christ - our Lord and Savior. Listen to the Pastor's messages and be as the Bereans and double check if
the things they preach are true. The pastor is not divine, he himself is a saved depraved soul, so what is he
without a Holy and Just God?

SOURCE: http://wikihow.com/Spot-a-Fake-Pastor


This is what a fake church looks like Short version:
Fake churches don’t preach on Jesus, they glorify flawed
humans. They invite sexually perverse politicians to their pulpits to
“preach.” There is some good news here, though. With churches like this
you have absolutely no excuse about knowing whether they are legitimate
or not. If you follow people and churches like this then you get what you
deserve. I sometimes feel sorry for those taken in by wolves in sheep’s clothing, but not for wolves like this guy who got too warm and took the
sheep’s clothing off. It is like they aren’t even pretending to be Christian
any longer.

___other ways to see if
church is the fake___

1. If pastor sell things inside the church and enforce members to buy that particular thing ( think about it)
2. If pastor does not want people to pay small amount of money.
3. If Pastor have dreadlock
4. If Pastor have skinny jean and dress worldly

amiskurie: MUHEMUHEMUHE!!

what do u mean? Is it u?

An Arsenal fan on Twitter posted a shock image of himself with a knife on his throat. He’s demanding Arsenal to sign a player or he’ll kill himself. He Tweeted:



“@Yoann_AFC: Wenger, if you don’t sign Suarez by next week end ..@Arsenal.”





Is he really serious? Can you has such a passion for football or other games?

I don search my tv channel tire.
Even livescore.com no show this match nawaoo.

@Op, your title is quite difference from what is in, you just wanna make front page?

1) Ghost poo:

The kind

of poo when you feel

there's poo coming out,

but no poo in the toilet.

2) Clean poo: You kak it out, see the poo in the toilet but nothing on the tissue.

3) Wet poo: After

wiping plenty times you

still feel unwiped.

4) Second wave poo:

You're done kaking, pull up your

pants, then realise you

need to kak some more.

5) Pop a vein on the

forehead poo:

You strain so much to get it out,

you feel like you are

having a stroke.

6) Gassy poo: So noisy

everyone within earshot is giggling.

7) Drinkers poo:

It leaves the most

noticable skid marks at

the bottom of the

toilet.

8 )The I wish I could kak poo:

You wanna kak

but all you do is sit on

the toilet and fart a

few times and nothing

came.

9) Wet cheek poo:

It drops so fast it

splashes on your

butt cheeks.

10) The dangling poo:

The one that refuses to leave the

ass, you have to shake

it off.

11) Oh shit poo:

The type you are in the

middle of dropping big

one and you forgot to

lock the toilet and

someone you have been forming for entered without knocking and

the poo disappeared.

12) Surprise poo:

This gives no signal, you're about to fart but

BAAMMM! its poo!! Wait

until this happen to you

in a public place you'll know the importance of early morning poo.

Hehehe...No matter how beautiful or rich you are, I'm sure you've

experienced at least one of them.

I know it! Dey don't have a single spirit of sportmanship. If I say now that this is wickedness, chelsea fan here will start to stumble upon me and the reason is that the don't talk truth. Yes they don't talk truth and they don't know football, whenever they loose they will find somethin to blame. Lets gat this right guys

Why no GOSPEL music? May God help you bro

Sadusky: Keep calm and enjoy this moment. The 3 painful goals given to Nigeria by Spain have been given to Cuba U20 as a gift.

for your mind, abi ?

Ohkay, today na our turn