₦airaland Forum

Let me provide my experience and perspective on this. As noted by a few people here, what you are describing is scoliosis. From my personal experience, it is hereditary and affects mostly females . Atleast in my family it has now run through atleast two generations of women, on my dads side. Atleast two of my father’s sisters have it, I have a female cousin that has it, one of my sisters has it, and there is a possibility that one of my two daughters has it.
— My aunt’s are in their 50’s-60’s, both had children and perhaps it affects them, but to my knowledge it has not impaired their lives in anyway. Both aunts live in Nigeria, are in good health and I don’t know of any major issue this has caused.
— My cousin (in her 40’s) has it, she also has children. Again, to my knowledge, no impairment to her life as a function of this. I am not sure if any of her children has it, she has two girls. Nonetheless, they live in a developed country with solid healthcare, so I am sure if it impairs their lives in anyway, they will find a way to deal with it.
— My sister’s case was a little more severe. Consequently, when she was in JSS2 in Nigeria my parents took her to a specialist in SA for surgery. I think it cost about 20-25k GBP at the time. This was in the early 2000’s. The surgeon straightened out her spine (scoliosis is essentially any-type of curvature of the spine), as best as they could, and these days it is not very noticeable. Although, she still has a scar on her back and she occasionally has some discomfort from the metal rod in her back, she is generally fine and fully functioning. My sister lives in a developed country with solid healthcare. Consequently, she will ultimately be fine.
— There is a big possibility that my first daughter might have inherited this. She is still too young for us to know definitively, but she has my genes, so that possibility is there. Am I worried?. Occasionally. But since I know that this is hereditary in my family, and there is precedence for people dealing with it, I am less concerned. Also, I am fortunate to live in a country with good healthcare, and even more fortunate to have the resources to treat this, as necessary. Also, I am sure technology has improved since the early 2000’s when my sister had her surgery. Perhaps, these things could be resolved in a minimally invasive manner these days, I don’t know.

I went into this level of detail to provide you with some examples of how this has played out with the people close to me. I think the degree of curvature of the spine is pertinent. However, I know people that have it and it has not impacted them in anyway. Just be mindful of the hereditary piece of it. Should you leave or stay? I don’t think I am in a position to provide guidance on that. Frankly, on one is, except you. The only thing I will say on that front is that if this is something that you are very concerned about, walk away quickly. If you do your research and it is something you are comfortable with, accept it as a man, and move on. No partner is perfect, and there are invisible family and heredity issues that people carry about that we don’t know about until we are faced with them. You girls just happens to be visible.

I hope this context helps.

If it floats, flies or makes babies, dont buy it, lease it.#Shekenah.

afam4eva: What a braggart. You can shove ur wealth down your pipe. Anumanu.

Three Things:
1. Frankly, I think there is a double standard here. It’s easier for a guy from a well off family to marry anyone he decides to than it is a female, from a similar background.
2. Secondly, it depends on the type of home you were raised in. Some people don’t care, and some do, it doesn’t make the people that care bad people, it’s just their preference.
3. Lastly, it’s only in Nigeria that this is a very big deal, for good reasons I presume. I have friends who were raised in Nigerian family where it is rude to talk about money, that is how wealthy they are; and they ended up with people who didn’t have much growing up, and they are happy.

I wouldn’t go as far as calling her names because of how she views things. The decision of whom to marry is a choice and a very important one at that. My parents are wealthy, by any standard, not me (I have to clarify this, before half-witted individual interprets my statement for pride), but they have never expressed the need to marry someone from a wealthy family as well. More than anything they have stressed the fact that the person should love God and be hardworking. Period. Now, I don’t know how they would react if my sister should come home with a dude that doesn’t have two dimes to rub together. I know my father wouldn't care, but I can’t say the same for my mum. From my experience, women consider this an issue more than guys do. My view on this is, if the person is kind, hardworking, God fearing and genuinely loves you, what the hell, it’s just money, we would make more.

Some people are currently going thru the 5 stages of grief.

-Denial
-----its a lie, bb is working. Checking their phone, every 5 mins to see if they received a message.
-Anger
-----Stupid blackberry. Call up service provider and cuss someone out.
-Bargaining
-----Call service provider back and apologize. Promising to do something for them if they can give you "special" bb privileges.
-Depression
----Service provider tells you to leave them alone, there is nothing they can do. The problem is now international. Your previous "do u know who I am?" rant didn't work. Besides, you are not one of their good customers.
-Acceptance
-----OK, bb is truly not working, what do I do with myself now,

, funny thing, my bb started working as I finish typing this, no lie,

I think you should stalk his ass, if you cant do it physically, do it on Facebook, I think he will get the message.