dare2think:

Lol, a prayer answered!

What about his other 'baggages' asides from being 'rich'?

For example, -a rich guy that pounds his wife day and night
-a rich guy that seriously cheats
-a rich guy that emotionally abuses the partner
-and all other variations attributed to being a wrong partner.
(hope these are part of the answered prayers)


A 'poor' guy can have those attributes as well, but the point is to remove the worth or value of a person based on his present financial circumstances is short-sightedness.

Once again my lovely naijasexy, I respect your position, I only disagree with some points

Eeerm.. Dare2think, I thought we were talking about wealth and not the other things listed above? Those are factors to be considered as well and I am not stupid, nor do I have my head in the clouds. When it comes right down to it, the aforementioned would be factored in. I would not marry a wife-batterer because he is rich neither would I tolerate a cheating man because he's got some money. I am speaking on the assumption of "all things being equal".
I am only speaking realistically and I damn well know that you guys claiming "holier than thou" would even do worse than I would . God, in his kindness, has placed me on a certain scale so why would I opt to marry a poor guy when I could be with someone of better financial status?

I would consider it a "prayer answered" simply means I would think of it as a favor from God and not because I am deserving of it and not what you are misconstruing that statement to mean.

That is just the way life is and we have to deal with it. If it is your desire to chose a poor (and I mean extremely poor) chick over one that is okay, then absolutely, go ahead. You would deal with the responsibilities that come with that when they begin to surface. I am no ready to bear the burden of another when I know it could have totally been avoided.

That's all I am saying.

freecocoa: I can't remember where i heard this saying from"To have a poor father is not your fault but to have a poor FIL is sheer stuppidity",don't know how true that is though.

The person must be a gold-digger and such person's intention in any relationship in glaring.

naijasexy:

Eeerm.. Dare2think, I thought we were talking about wealth and not the other things listed above? Those are factors to be considered as well and I am not stupid, nor do I have my head in the clouds. When it comes right down to it, the aforementioned would be factored in. I would not marry a wife-batterer because he is rich neither would I tolerate a cheating man because he's got some money. I am speaking on the assumption of "all things being equal".

Nope dear, we were talking about what you considered a 'answered prayer', which you stated as being married to a rich guy!

I only opted to bring you to reality, which is that even the so-called rich guy comes along with baggages. I used those examples only to illustrate how complex and complicated a relationship can be, which makes excluding a person based on finances alone a bit 'unrealistic'.

Once again, everyone have different approaches to what they want in a partner and it just happens that you dont want a poor guy. Which is to be respected.

My point is, it is not as clear-cut like that as life as a funny way of not giving us what we desire, instead it gives us what we need. One may go through life looking for a 'specific' type of partner only to realise that they may fall for the exact opposite of what they wanted!

And yes, that one is rich, is only a minute factor in a long list of considerations that one needs to consider when choosing a partner. But alas you have excluded someone based only on that factor without even looking at what that person may bring to the table and complete the puzzle of one's life.

Ironically, the finances should even be the last on the 'rich' spouse's mind, as if they are truly rich, they should't be worried about the other that is not as rich.

sexlog:
A girl that rejected GEJ's proposal years back is regretting now!

sexlog:
A girl that rejected GEJ's proposal years back is regretting now!

.

hmmmmm.do u know her?

well, my wife`s family are very poor, then again i am rich and my family are also very rich, as long as she is a good wife, a good mum to my kids and respects my family NO! PROBLEMO!! and oh! my sister married a poor man aswell and they are very happy with seven kids

?

naijasexy:

I would consider it a "prayer answered" simply means I would think of it as a favor from God and not because I am deserving of it and not what you are misconstruing that statement to mean.

That is just the way life is and we have to deal with it. If it is your desire to chose a poor (and I mean extremely poor) chick over one that is okay, then absolutely, go ahead. You would deal with the responsibilities that come with that when they begin to surface. I am no ready to bear the burden of another when I know it could have totally been avoided.

That's all I am saying.

Actually, my desire is to 'choose' the right partner, rather than the rich patrner, that will love me for who I am, and that I will love for who she may be, regardless of color, financial standing or creed!

Someone that I know will be there when 'for worse' starts rearing its head into the marriage! Such a person's previous financial standing, be it good or bad would be inconsequential then.

However, like I said, I respect your opinions and I hope you are not getting agitated! If so, ma bi nu!

One more thing, a favour from God, in my opinion, would not be averting you from a 'poor' guy! It would be averting you from a 'poor' mind, as a poor guy can change his status with hardwork and determination but its hard for a 'poor' mind to change

^ It is what it is for me man, and I say everything I do without the slightest feeling of remorse. I wonder if there is not one person who would "love you for who you are" and still be okay financially. Why do we always have to look on the negatives?
My heart desires are what God will grant me, in fact, He is already leading me on that path.
My stance remains unchanged and this is the last I would speak on this issue.

It was nice sharing ideas with you, Dare2think. Absolutely looking forward to doing so again.

naijasexy: ^ It is what it is for me man, and I say everything I do without the slightest feeling of remorse. I wonder if there is not one person who would "love you for who you are" and still be okay financially. Why do we always have to look on the negatives?
My heart desires are what God will grant me, in fact, He is already leading me on that path.
My stance remains unchanged and this is the last I would speak on this issue.

It was nice sharing ideas with you, Dare2think. Absolutely looking forward to doing so again.

Sound's like someone's close to putting a ring on it

^^lol. Yeah, right!

but there is someone right?

True love knows no bounds.

Amaka G29:
I do believe in marrying with love in mind. Because what people tend to call love is at times a fleeting sentiment, practicality and proper planning are necessary.

I will not be marrying into a poor family, because of issues that will arise after marriage. Poor family members tend to create great financial pressure on males, which will put financial pressures on our household. I don't mind helping out in extreme circumstances, but it shouldn't be a regular occurrence. I have to plan for my children's futures and my own retirement. It also has implications on who my children are related to and the examples of success they will grow up around. If I marry into a family with several doctors, lawyers, bankers, and other respectable professionals (not necessarily rich), then those are the people my children will be surrounded by.

Being unrealistic about financial concerns when getting married may have a terrible impact on a happy home. No, don't marry for money, but financial planning needs to be a part of the marriage conversation. Don't ignore it.

Dats ur opinion....bsides u lookd at it from ur feminine angle ##women are mainly after financial security##

@naijasexy....Jeez....I better start w0rking hard...Me I dnt want t0 marry a p00r wife with all the family baggages. I want t0 marry u...L0L...Na wa sha... I think the m0st imp0rtant thing f0r marriage is pr0spects and the 0p's family is badly behaved. N0 matter 0w small they shud c0ntribute s0mething substantial t0 the marriage. Marriage is a tw0 family thing. N0t 0ne.

naijasexy: ^ It is what it is for me man, and I say everything I do without the slightest feeling of remorse. I wonder if there is not one person who would "love you for who you are" and still be okay financially. Why do we always have to look on the negatives?
My heart desires are what God will grant me, in fact, He is already leading me on that path.
My stance remains unchanged and this is the last I would speak on this issue.

It was nice sharing ideas with you, Dare2think. Absolutely looking forward to doing so again.

With Pleasure,

Hope you get what your heart desires!

>Sultan of Brunie<

dare2think:

Actually, my desire is to 'choose' the right partner, rather than the rich patrner, that will love me for who I am, and that I will love for who she may be, regardless of color, financial standing or creed!

Someone that I know will be there when 'for worse' starts rearing its head into the marriage! Such a person's previous financial standing, be it good or bad would be inconsequential then.

However, like I said, I respect your opinions and I hope you are not getting agitated! If so, ma bi nu!

One more thing, a favour from God, in my opinion, would not be averting you from a 'poor' guy! It would be averting you from a 'poor' mind, as a poor guy can change his status with hardwork and determination but its hard for a 'poor' mind to change

ABSOLUTELY!! i agree 200%

With Pleasure,

Hope you get what your heart desires!

>Sultan of Brunie<
[/quote] OR BILL GATES

Yield: True love knows no bounds.

QED

naijasexy:

I come from a well-to-do family. I don't like sounding this way, but, I wouldn't wanna go into a marriage that would make me descend the wealth ladder. I can certainly marry an "okay" guy that has great prospects, but I cannot marry from a poor home. As a matter of fact, it is forbidden in my family (sorry to say, just keeping it real )

That means you're from a WRETCHED HOME led by SHALLOW, GODLESS, CALLOUS individuals. I bet you and your family are ardent CHURCH GOERS too. Likely with loud 'born again' pretensions. I know your type. Shallow, hypocritical, judgemental, materialistic. (SPIT)

As someone from the so-called "lower ladder", I find Naijasexy'a comments quite amusing. I don't wanna sound my trumpets here but I know for sure that a girl can not shove me aside because of my family's financial standing. I think when you meet a guy whose family's finances contrasts sharply with his achievements/prospects and who fits into your "other standards", your heart will crack open! u no go even know when e go happen sef abi pesin dey control love again?

I can as long as she is not igbo. The reason being that Igbos have too many siblings which translates to excess baggage. Before u knw it u go begin pay fees and set people up for trade. However, in the unlikely event( i seriously doubt) that the Igbo chick has just 1 or 2 siblings then i can.
As for most other tribes, i can. They don't usually breed like rabbits.

Gaggi: I can as long as she is not igbo. The reason being that Igbos have too many siblings which translates to excess baggage. Before u knw it u go begin pay fees and set people up for trade. However, in the unlikely event( i seriously doubt) that the Igbo chick has just 1 or 2 siblings then i can.
As for most other tribes, i can. They don't usually breed like rabbits.

Tribalism alert...*chanting* ban ban ban ban!!!

May I apologize to all the people who feel insulted by comments?
I thought Nairaland was a platform where we could all air our opinions without being judged; apparently, I wasn't thinking right.
I did not intend to incite anger in anyone.

You guys must understand something though, we all come from different backgrounds and see things differently. Not everyone's opinion would tally with yours and when you come across such opinions, disregard them rather than sling insults at the person.

As for that one making a silly joke that he hopes I find my "sultan of whatever".. Well, how do you know I have not found him already?
You guys have to emancipate yourselves from mental slavery. Look on the positives and shy away from the negatives. You can find someone who would love you for you, and who would still meet your financial needs.

ekwah: As someone from the so-called "lower ladder", I find Naijasexy'a comments quite amusing. I don't wanna sound my trumpets here but I know for sure that a girl can not shove me aside because of my family's financial standing. I think when you meet a guy whose family's finances contrasts sharply with his achievements/prospects and who fits into your "other standards", your heart will crack open! u no go even know when e go happen sef abi pesin dey control love again?

I felt bad when I read your post. I did not mean to sound condescending at all, forgive me! I once upon a time dated someone who grew up in an orphanage, because I saw great prospects in him. His situation did not deter me but things just did not work out.
I still maintain though, that there are certain levels of poverty I would prefer not getting involved in.

if i am in the shoe of those with cool money. as long as i love the girl, is no body's business to interrupt / halt / stop me from marrying my love partner; no matter her background.
this is where i like people like KANU NWANKWO in spite of his cool cash (billions). he humbly married to someone eager to go to school. today they are happily married

cbjonstage: if i am in the shoe of those with cool money. as long as i love the girl, is no body's business to interrupt / halt / stop me from marrying my love partner; no matter her background.
this is where i like people like KANU NWANKWO in spite of his cool cash (billions). he humbly married to someone eager to go to school. today they are happily married

Correct.

To be candid,I cant marry frm an EXTREMELY POOR family. Its easy for guys to say since they are naturally expected to foot the bills.

But all the same depends on the guy,if he is educated and ambitious,then by the grace of God there is hope
in btw,aint so rich

Hi house, you know about those ads in complete sport on making money with football. I now have that ebook. Trust me it contains the information that any one needs to make money with football. I too have made money with this process, so it is no joke.
The issue now is that since people get that ebook for N2500 and N3000, now I have got it I will only send it to anybody email for nothing less than N750. if you need it call my number on 08066642832 or 08124431638 , I will give you my account number and will send you the ebook after I confirm payment. So if you need it call me or send me email at marshaljohn10@yahoo.com

lacasa: Normally money shouldn't matter bt the burden go 2much na

Even nt being able to buy their marriage attires??haba

It was just that bad.
People don't know the extent of the poverty in the picture here.

Just before wedding he (the groom) had started footing the hospital bills of his mother inlaw.

Little amounts Up to N500 to pay for minor domestic needs were brought to the guy to pay for.

Absolute no. I'm sorry but finances are the number 1 reason for most divorces. I cant be expected to carry the financial burden of a heavily dependent family of in-laws while trying to provide the best for my wife and kids as well.
I tried the "super hero" thingy before... turned out to be a painful mistake. You will always find a woman your level to marry.

davidylan: Absolute no. I'm sorry but finances are the number 1 reason for most divorces. I cant be expected to carry the financial burden of a heavily dependent family of in-laws while trying to provide the best for my wife and kids as well.
I tried the "super hero" thingy before... turned out to be a painful mistake. You will always find a woman your level to marry.

so you can marry a woman for money? or isnt that what you will say if i made a similar response. and if you try to deny it i will pull up some previous posts. . .i will. . .i have time!

afam4eva:

What a braggart. You can shove ur wealth down your pipe. Anumanu.

Three Things:
1. Frankly, I think there is a double standard here. It’s easier for a guy from a well off family to marry anyone he decides to than it is a female, from a similar background.
2. Secondly, it depends on the type of home you were raised in. Some people don’t care, and some do, it doesn’t make the people that care bad people, it’s just their preference.
3. Lastly, it’s only in Nigeria that this is a very big deal, for good reasons I presume. I have friends who were raised in Nigerian family where it is rude to talk about money, that is how wealthy they are; and they ended up with people who didn’t have much growing up, and they are happy.

I wouldn’t go as far as calling her names because of how she views things. The decision of whom to marry is a choice and a very important one at that. My parents are wealthy, by any standard, not me (I have to clarify this, before half-witted individual interprets my statement for pride), but they have never expressed the need to marry someone from a wealthy family as well. More than anything they have stressed the fact that the person should love God and be hardworking. Period. Now, I don’t know how they would react if my sister should come home with a dude that doesn’t have two dimes to rub together. I know my father wouldn't care, but I can’t say the same for my mum. From my experience, women consider this an issue more than guys do. My view on this is, if the person is kind, hardworking, God fearing and genuinely loves you, what the hell, it’s just money, we would make more.

queensmith:

so you can marry a woman for money? or isnt that what you will say if i made a similar response. and if you try to deny it i will pull up some previous posts. . .i will. . .i have time!

You got me wrong. I dont need to marry a woman for money, i have my own. I dont want to marry a woman who will simply be a drain on important resources that should be going to providing the best for our kids and stashing some away for the rainy day. There is nothing wrong with 2 healthy income streams, half of which is not spent paying school fees for someone else.