₦airaland Forum

Really funny the way people view the whole thing, well the Song is nice I enjoy it I like the video and all that but was just wondering if what she said about men was really true and that there are no women with that kind of character too, some people said its men that basically do that kind of thing, while some agree that there are women that do it as well, Men are not the only ones culpable as there are women too that are into cheating.

Songs like this should get people thinking not for us to criticize her only.

I remembered an expirience I once had, when I was back in Jos there was this girl I dated, shes like my first real relationship at that time she was the first Person that Kissed me ever and for like 3 days I did not want to wash my mouth, cos I felt the effect of that Kiss for so very long, and then I was still the good boy that I was she was from Rivers, Naturally Foreigners dont like dating Indigines, cos if you dont know they count us all as Hausas though we know we are not, so it was quite a suprise to many other guys in the area that the girl was dating me, she was a beauty to behold, Guys started beefing for the sake of the girl even her sister was not in agreement with the relationship, cos ofcourse I did not have money and my parents were not rich, at that time I never really attached any importance to sex, and for you to know that was what broke us up, cos we would see talk and play and at the end of the day nothing happens between us so she got angry though never told me, but she started misbehaving afterwards and she started going out with one other boy in the same area, it was later I knew what happened. So we are all different and we have different approaches to live, We cannot all be the same.

topup:
[color=#cc0066]Lol @ JJYOU's post!!

The thing I don't get about this post, is that the poster (knowme) seems to be contradicting himself. On one hand he tells us that he is a patient, loving, kind, generous man, on the other, he has mentioned that he felt that he lost out on sex, so it hurt that all the things he gave her were not reciprocated, because of course to him, the only thing she could have given him back in that relaitonship was access to the down below.

I just want to say, a guy like you will probably hurt a lot of girls, maybe not always intentionally, but the type of girl you seem to be looking for probably wouldn't want to engage in sexual intercourse unless you are 110% committed to her, and maybe even after the 'girl in the story's breakup, she may have well decided to wait maybe even until marriage before engaging in the act. I have to say I really appreciate your frank-ness with her, it is something I find to be a great quality, you told her where you stood, intentionally or not intentionally and she was then able to make a decision for herself. What I hate is when someone enters into a relationship expecting sex, gifts, money and other things and doesn't let you know, so you fall in love with the fake alter-ego they put forward.

@ Poster, you behaved in a way most guys do, of course you are tempted by the idea of having sex in relationships, you probably don't see the point in being in one without it.

What I disagree with though is the fact that your main goal was to sleep with her, and if she was a loving kind girl that would be the bonus. Shouldn't it be the other way round?? (not that I advocate pre-maritial sex), but sex isn't everything, and if you just tried you can obtain so much more from someone in a relationship without them spending a penny on you, or even 'giving' you sex.

SO many guys I know have said 'strangely' enough 'my best relationship didn't involve sex', 'she made me think differently, act differently, want to be a better man, I was able to focus more' on the backbone of the relationship and not merely the added benefits.

My advice is that you just let her heal, if she comes back to you, it doesn't necessarily mean she really likes you, it could mean that she's feeling vulnerable after the breakup again, or that she's bored, these things happen. Also, who knows what you have escaped, you could have ended up in a sexual relationship with her, 'fallen in love' and then when you're starting to set plans for the future, she tells you that her ex came back to her.[/color]

Topup, I really appreciate what you are saying, but the point you made about contradicting myself here is the thing, I have had a relationship sometimes back and the girl was all over me asking for money and everything, you see what I hate is when one takes another person for a ride, I could help a person and not expect anything, its not as if I cannot, but the thing is when you do something with an expectation and then it gets hit on am sure you are not going to be happy would you? when there is Chemistry between the two of you and you feel it then sex really becomes a no issue, I said before now in the first Post that when she accepted to go out with me we still had an issue about the feelings she had for me, when I tell her I love you she does not tell me that back and after I have done it for a while I had to ask her why and she told me that she really does not feel anything for me for now, she likes me as a friend and that I should give her time, it was after I have noticed that it was taking too long, our breakup was not becos of Sex it was just that I felt she does not Love me. and the only time we talked about sex she requested I gave her time, that she is not the type that rushes into a man's Bed, Like I said earlier I did not take offence I really did gave her time, Seriously if she loved me and gave me half the attention I was giving her then am not sure the sex would matter, cos you feel something back, but when you are not getting the love or the affection and then there is no sex man its as good killing yourself, and thank God when I asked her about how she felt about me she told me she is yet to feel anything for me, yeah I am liberal about sex, I can do a one nite stand and would not really bother about the emotions as long as the babe looks stunning and she finds me attractive as well, but then it does not make me a senseless Person, Every one has his or her shortcommings.

That someone is making money does not mean we cannot debate a point, She raised an issue and I felt like hearing from other people if they agree with her. thats all.

omoshobo:
hi will let go am too much to beg a man in terms of everything.

Omo, No one said you should Beg, What I adviced is that you just wait he will come begging, its not easy to just break a relationship like that.

SO take your time act as if you did not feel anything as well, and give him time what ever thing is it that is shagging him now will leave him soon and then it will be your turn to tell him what you want.

@ 2nd poster, I get you, but I think you are so much in a hurry, he will get back to you it could just be the anger that made him reacted the way he did, and about your stuff sometimes even if its a car I bought for someone and the Person decides to leave me am not going to get it back, once I have given something to someone I let it go, it hurts though but its the best thing to do, I had an issue sometimes back with my ex girl friend, she came to my place from School on her birthday and I bought somethings for her but after we had an issue in the nite I decided not to give her those things again, she saw them or I have given them to her already but after then I took them and kept them somewhere else the next morning she woked up and did not see them, she left without saying a thing, but am serious here I could not keep those things, it kept disturbing me in my heart I had to finally call her apolgise for my actions and then Had to take those things to her by myself and that was how we sorted things out. So I think just give him a while and he will come back but if he does not then you know that you are not meant to be , so forget him and let life continue Jare, God will bring someone that understands you quite well, I dont agree that a woman must always be the yes Person if am in a relationship and my woman tells me yes all the time then I cant marry her, I want an independent woman the one that we can both talk things out and argue our points, no one is an Island on his own, there are things that one does not see well but after contructively arguing it with someone you can get to that realization that you were wrong, and then avoid the damage that would have come along with the decision,

Sea~Goddes:
lol gurl no vex na , thats how they were programmed to function

Are you saying that its only guys that break up relationships? Be sincere have you ever turned down a guy's Overture? if yes then the Word should be that is how WE ARE PROGRAMMED TO FUNCTIO.

top_kin:
@ poster

U r a lamebrain. . . _hisses

whats up with you having to insult someone just because you saw something, can't you simply say what the mess you want to say? I should think you are the Lamebrain here I atleast said something that made sense, but you could not just say anything than the Word Lamebrain.
[flash=200,200]http://
Na wa for una sha.

sistawoman:
I am not sure what you mean by drive?

do you mean the desire to see/date/Bleep other people?

@ sista Woman yea, thats what I mean.

Seyimailer, thanks for the response, why I still answer is becos I feel some people dont really understand what am saying, anyway I have given up on her already, am just trying to seek advice as to if my decision was right or wrong to have broken up with her.


iice, the truth is you dont really know me, I just wanted her to love me, I wanted to get affection if return for the affection I was giving out, and you know quite well that if you are in love with a Person there is not reason why you would wanna stay far from the Person, so thats it there was no connection, the Chemistry was not there, and I noticed it so I asked a question and from the answer I get I decided to leave her alone.

The truth here is becos of my drive I expect any woman I go out with to have that kinda drive I have or else we are going to keep having issues

Shes a Beautiful Gal, and if you had read my post well you will see that she told me to give her time, if she had told me that she does not want me I woul have left her long ago, We have had to part ways when she offends me and I will stop calling her, then she will call me for us to come back, I was the one that said I was tired of beign in a relationship where there is no love. Not her, She wanted me to wait, but I felt the waiting was too much so I told her to make up her mind and that was when she then made her confession that she has tried Loving me, but she could not just help it. she gave me the Idea that it was going to work out until when I felt I could not wait again.

Please always read posts well before responding.

thanks for the contribution anyway.

Tope what do you mean i should make up my mind? the point is a woman cannot satisfy me alone so I will need something additional, More over my work takes me out alot, I do alot of travelling, so when am out there am Hot I just call on my shortie in that Geolocation and get some rounds before I go back to my woman , so you cant blame the Bruz would you? and you did not answer me question about what Beyonce is saying.

Was Beyonce saying the truth or she was just talking for the sake of Music, I support that Girls are more faithful but its not all of them, we've got alot Player girls, say your mind, funny enough I like them player girls but don't expect my woman to be like that, she could be wild and crazy in Bed or very sexually active, but not the player type, but then I don't expect me to stick my privates in just or only one P ussy, I can hit out there once in a while. So was Beyonce's If I was a boy the true nature of Women? waiting!

Video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVTyLqkez6A
Lyrics: www.metrolyrics.com/if-i-were-a-boy-lyrics-beyonce-knowles.html

iice:
[color=#9900ff]Sorry but rofl. Do you hear yourself? Her tits carried you to her. You consider the money spent a loss. You met and told her 'let's start going out', you love her but keep harping on the point you didn't pressure her. What has one got to do with the other? [/color]

[color=#9900ff]I agree with this. There are no signs she was into you. [/color]

Hey there is always something that attracts one to a person either that the person is Beautiful, Handsome or Funny or the Person's got cash, then When I said I was frank with her I never said i would tell her I wanted just a f uck, When i said I loved her I meant it that was why I gave her the time I gave her, If you are going to say she was not into me yea I agree to that, What relationship are you going to go in that you would not expect sex? so where then do I get the sex? am a very sexually active Guy I dont imagine myself having a relationship then forcing myself to go Calibate, I have had serious Relationships we broke up becos of somethings and they were very Healthy relationships, As much as I had her becos of her attitude I have other girls I bang but I wanted to be more commited to her, I wanted her to be my woman, someone I can call mine all the time, but the truth is i noticed she was not into me, and for the guy that said you never date girls that just came outta a relationship how doyou tell if you are not close to the person? In the first place I just wanted a f uck but after we started I saw myself falling in love and I tried to let her into my heart but then she was not forth coming, we have had issues and reasons to part ways severally and she ends up calling cos when those things Happen I see them as a way out for me so it made me think she was feeling me, its when I noticed that it was taking her too long to open up to me that I decided to send her a text and to ask how much longer i was going to have to wait, I cant imagine myself in a relationship with so so much commitment and yet you have to go elsewhere to get a f uck I dont think its fair to me and I made her understand that though I did not openly told her but am sure she would have understood, my worry or anger is if she knew she was not eventually get in then why did she have to leave me get so much into her before she says she was not going to do it? even my friend that introduced me to her told me to leave her after our second meeting and she seemed to be forming good girl, so you can now understand what am talking about, some people answered me without really understanding what am saying, am not some secondary school Kid dear, am grown up and I have had a lot of expirience, my mind is outta her anyway, Was just trying to gather opinion. thank you all for giving your own opinion.

I used to go to her house, not that I still go to their house I said that becos I was trying to make a point, and then we decided on our own not that she told me that she was not interested, I was the one that triggered it in the first place cos I felt I cannot continue going out with someone that does not say I love you back when I say it to her, she wanted it to continue the way its going but I felt I was beating myself and deceiving myself, that she could get someone that catches her fancy someday and dump me and it will be like but you already know, I appreciate your contribution but let me suggest that you always read posts very well to know where to advice or where your advice should fall into. Yes I loved her and I wish I can continue Loving her but I do not see a reason why I should when shes not loving me back. and that was why I asked her if she had made her mind up on it.

Thanks I appreciate.

Sea~Goddes:
just let her go, she was never into you at the first place according to ur testmony maybe cox she never liked u at the first sight, no real connection or no deep soul feelings for you or u never gave her time, space to really think bout it thoroughly, she felt pressured. anywaxz whatever the real reasons might be leave her to go, she doesnt like u and it is not going to workout. b.t.w did u want to date her cox she got big boobs and u just wanted sex or that u actually really loved her _{wished i really doubt}

She actually does not have Big boobs but Beatiful Boobs, I loved her I must confess, and I never pressured her into anything I gave her enough time and I tried treating her as a Lover can, like you said anyway I think so too she does not Love me, but she tries to be a friend, I go to their House the Mom knows me as her friend but then I really did not think I should waste a whole lot of time waiting, I have waited enough.

Monicaa:
well to sum it up, like she said, she just got out of a relationship. Ur spending money or watsoeva u consider a loss isn't. She was genuine when she said if she could force it, she would. She just got out of a relationship so she needs time to clear her head. U should be patient with her or be friends with her, don't force anything or try to create a normal aura, if she wants u or watsoeva, she would at her own time.

Appreciate your reply but this has been going on for like 7 months now, you think I should wait longer? what happens if in the Process of the waiting someone comes her way? cos already we were dating until when I felt I needed something definate that she felt she cannot give that we decided to stop it.

Guy what do you think about this? its a Long story but am going to cut it as short as I can.

I was going thru my friend's fone and I saw this endowed babe, she had nice tits and I liked her, So I asked my friend about her and He gave me her number I called her up and we met She was schooling in Benin and I had to go to Benin for a Job, and when we met I have this Policy of beign straight am not A saint but I have made it a Policy to be straight when am dealing with People, So I was straight with her I told her how I got her Picture and How I had to collect her Number from my friend and I wanted us to start going out, she did not accept immediately but told me to wait when she gets back from School, when she did got back from school we met and talked again then she told me she just got out of a relationship so she was not going to Jump into a another one, it sounded reasonable, so I decided to give her time, she went back to school and after a few weeks I went to Benin to work as well as to see her when I saw her she told me she was going to tell me her decision when I had gone back to Lag but I insisted she goes ahead and tell me whats up and she told me ok we could go out, so we started dating, but then I noticed something when she accepted to date me the excitement was not there and I told her but she felt I was complaining and told me we have not even started a relationship and I was complainig already? so I felt I shoult still give her some times cos she was doing her final exams and she was going to do her Project as well, now I thought after her project we were going to have to start serious dating as per getting more intimate, but everytime I call her and after talking I tell her I love her she does not respond, I endured that for like 4 months until on the 31st Dec 2008 I talked to her and asked her if she had made up her mind to get love me, but she told me that shes been trying to do so but its not just working and becos of that we decided to call it quits, Well inside of me am at peace though I loved her but seriously I do not want to force anything outta her, I have spent some money on her already but I consider it a lost becos I never got anything in return, as far as am concern when am in a relationship and my woman refuses me sex then am the one on the losing end but I consider a relationship a good one when we both had inputs that is for me to have gotten something in return for what I have given in those cases I do not actually cry when the relationship stops cos we would have agreed on our own to stop it, but when its one sided it becomes painful, am not nursing any pain anyway, all I am concern about is if I had done the right thing or I should have given her some more time, in Her word and I quote'' '' You are a nice person I have tried to get to love you but nothing seems to be working if I could force it out of I would have done it" to me I feel with that statement that there is no hope for the relationship any longer. what do you think?