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Education / Re: ASUU Strike: How Effective Is It In Your School? by KolaSteven(m): 1:45pm On Nov 06, 2018
Sampao:
Seem you are observing from the moon.Which FUNAAB is not on strike?Congress to declare total and comprehensive strike already in progress.
FUNAAB has joined the strike officially this noon
Education / Re: Total 2018/2019 Scholarship - Apply Immediately by KolaSteven(m): 8:56am On Nov 06, 2018
fboonmy:
Sent. I'm so sorry for the delay,
Bro, me too. please kolawolesteven99@gmail.com
Education / Re: Total 2018/2019 Scholarship - Apply Immediately by KolaSteven(m): 8:50am On Nov 06, 2018
2law:
its in my email now.. I will forward it to u all immediately i get to on my infinix
Bro, please forward to me also
kolawolesteven99@gmail.com
Thank you
Programming / Re: Aspiring Data Scientist. by KolaSteven(m): 10:44pm On Oct 28, 2018
Add me up, please 0 9 0 6 6 7 9 8 1 3
Literature / Re: Number 225 Katakata Street by KolaSteven(m): 10:49pm On Oct 27, 2018
Agbon-fineboy ;DAgbon-fineboy

1 Like

Computers / Re: Post Your Computer (PC) Troubles Here. by KolaSteven(m): 9:26am On Oct 27, 2018
Hello, gurus. My HP Elitebook speakers doesnt work everytime. Sometimes they work fine, sometimes they dont produce any sound at all
Programming / Re: Udemy Coupons: FREE--BE FAST BEFORE IT EXPIRES by KolaSteven(m): 3:14pm On Oct 25, 2018
09096679813 Add me to the group, please
Programming / Re: If You've Always Wanted To Learn Programming But Failed, Be Here!!! by KolaSteven(m): 3:50pm On Oct 23, 2018
pastie:


Baba, I want to learn android app development,


Can you recommend the language to go for and standard industry tool to work with?
Go for JAVA. Android Studio is most commonly-used tool.
IntelliJ Idea is a very cool tool too, but wider than just mobile app dev.
Computers / Re: Post Your Computer (PC) Troubles Here. by KolaSteven(m): 12:25pm On Oct 22, 2018
kosmos95:
Apart from hotspot there still other way of connecting PC with ur Phone,
1=Usb Tethering,
2=Bluetooth Tethering.
I avnt try the second b4 sha. But the first one work perfectly.
OK. Thanks. Those options are viable for connecting to the school wifi though
Computers / Re: Post Your Computer (PC) Troubles Here. by KolaSteven(m): 12:22pm On Oct 22, 2018
Razak5:

Hello. You should replace the wireless card.
An alternative will be to get a USB-WiFi dongle.
**Cheers**
Thanks. like how much would it cost me to replace the wireles card? How about the usb dongle?
Programming / Re: If You've Always Wanted To Learn Programming But Failed, Be Here!!! by KolaSteven(m): 8:58pm On Oct 21, 2018
Hello, I'm Steven. I started python like around 3wks. I'm using Colt Steele's Modern Python Bootcamp and it's really exciting,very little difficulties so far. My progress is slow though, due to me devoting time for my schoolworks(comp. sci., 100l)
I'd loved to be in the group so we could help each other. 09096679813
Computers / Re: Post Your Computer (PC) Troubles Here. by KolaSteven(m): 8:11pm On Oct 21, 2018
Sir. i use hp elitebook 8930p. As of recent, the wifi connection has been very weak, hence making connection to hotspot a tard stressful. What can i do?
Literature / What's Going On? (a Short Story) by KolaSteven(m): 1:56pm On Jul 21, 2017
Hi, I'm Steve. This is my first story here on NL. I want you guys to review this.
Constructive criticism, please. Thanks.






What's going on?
Marvin Gaye's voice resonated softly in background as he stared down at the items on the table in front of him. Death in various forms stared back at him gleefully. To him, it seems like Death knows that he has won this round, and he revels in it. Gloating bastard!


.....There's far too many of you dying
You know we've got to find a way
To bring some loving here today....

No way for him to find. Everyone that matters has died. Even he is just a living shell. He has died within.
He glanced once more at the table. The big kitchen knife, his machete, the pistol he was issued while still military service, and the liquid poison in the green bottle.

He was at the bridge earlier this morning. People were milling around like he had this big 'suicide' placard on. Every step he took to vault himself over the bridge railings was been monitored keenly. No one was taking chance since the TeeBliz incident.

....Picket lines and picket signs
Don't punish me with brutality....

You already did! Brutalised i am!
He was assailed by the dark memories

****************************"

He was just getting home when his neighbour rushed to him and told him that he saw both of his twin sons been accosted and interrogated by some crowd at Ikorodu.

It sounded incredulous at first. He was just arriving from his boys valedictory service where they had cleared the awards between them. They twin boys had progressed with their fellow graduates to their beach party while the school principal had delayed him for a tea meal. So how come his boys are at Ikorodu?
His neighbor was swearing on his life that he saw the boys with his eyes and he even had his glasses on.
Then like a sledge hammer, it hit him. His boys are on dreadlocks!

Theirs are the natural ones. The ones from birth. He hadn't shaved them off on the advice of the white garment prophet and his wife's insistence. Having lost two pregnancies before the twins, they weren't willing to take chance.

He had planned on shaving them after their high school education. He drove like a maniac as he headed to Ikorodu leaving motorists, and pedestrians alike, spewing sulfurous curses in his wake.
"Not today, oh Lord, not my sons!" He prayed feverishly as he applied pressure on the accelerator. The car sped fast and furiously, as swift as an arrow.

*******************************

.....Ya, what's going on
Ah, what's going on...


Marvin Gaye's silky voice floated up to him.
He has no tears left in him, his tear glands has dried up already.
What's going on? Marvin Gaye seems to ask him.
The memories washed over him again.

***************************

He arrived there just in time to see two boys under a pile of tyres, while the irate mob screamed their defiance to the heavens. He looked at the boys faces desperately.
His knees sagged with relief.

Of course his boys could never be in this kind of spot. They are quite peace loving and full of life. They are on dreads, sure, but theirs is natural.

He reclined on a tree trunk as he watch the proceedings. The hyperexcited crowd howled wolfishly, screaming for blood.
Barbaric people. He mused to himself. What happened to the court of law? This is one of the reasons the country is not progressing.

Two police officers stood nearby munching greedily on roasted corns while washing it down with Chelsea dry gins.
Bastards! He spat! Another reason while the country is not progressing. Dumb law enforcers!

He couldn't stomach it anymore as he watched the alleged Badoo cultists been set on fire, writhing with their pupils dilated with terror. He suddenly felt like throwing up. He shuffled his feet hastily. He had to get out of this hell ASAP!
No sooner had he moved towards his car than he heard another uproar down the street. The savage mobs surged towards the direction. Instinct told him to follow. It was a mad rush. They all sped down the alley, a cul-de-sac. And lo, his twins were before him, almost beaten to the point of deformation. And tyres were on them!

*********************************************

....Mother, Mother everybody thinks we're wrong
Oh, but who are they to judge us
Simply because our hair is long
Oh, you know we've got to find a way
To bring some understanding here today.....


How so much Marvin Gaye speaks of his memories! No strength was left in him.
No tears to shed. Marvin Gaye keeps dragging down the cesspit of the dark memories. Like he wants him to live through it. But no! He is going to die through it. Reminiscing the memories is a mild form of torture for him.


...Picket lines and picket signs
Don't punish me with brutality
Talk to me
So you can see
What's going on
Ya, what's going on
Tell me what's going on...

************************************

He shoved blindly and wildly as he started towards his sons, his only crowbegotten kids! Hot tears threatened to blind him.

He was almost near them when he stumbled. He landed hard before his two sons. He reached out with a hand trying to make a contact. His sons looked up, hope brightening their faces as their eyes widen with recognition.
"Papa, save us!" They chorused. "We know nothing on what's going on here."

He stood up, his sons' Messiah. No one was hearing him out, they were only focused on the two 'criminals' before them.
He started to protest, failed attempt! He was shoved and bundled off. His children's cries for help succeeded him. His hands were tied!

Fire blazed up, dancing brighter and brighter. Until it was a conflagration of fire.
The mad barbarians howled their delight.
He screamed his desperation.
What's going on? He was losing it!
What's his sods' offence? They were on dreadlocks!
The tears flowed as his life crumbled down in his presence.
He watched the stupid mass of savages, whose government has given them a target to vent their vexation and aggression on.

One stupid reporter was fumbling with his camera. He jumped on the reporter, tearing the camera from his grasp. He howled as he smashed the camera on the reporter's head repeatedly. The terrified reporter scrambled away.
He saw the police officers still munching their stupid corns, laughing heartily.
Bastards! He leaped on the one closer to him, dealing him heavy blows. Something hit him hard on his back. He welcomed the resulting pain as he slugged the police officer heavily. His screams turned to cackles, mad cackles, as he saw blood staining his hands. The officer's face was a pulpy mass of flesh. He screamed his satisfaction.
Something hit him heavily on his head. He howled his derision as he blanked out.

***************************************

.....I'll tell you what's going on - Uh
Right on baby...

His life is desolated.
His wife has died. Had cardiac arrest upon hearing the news.
He is also dead as he is now. He is just a living shell.
Now he is going to be a dead shell.
Two seconds later, the knife was embedded to the hilt in his chest..
What's going on?
Marvin Gaye's voice fades out as his life trickles into oblivion.
Education / Re: 2016/2017 OOU Admission Thread by KolaSteven(m): 9:18pm On Jul 11, 2017
Please add me to the WhatsApp group. 09096679813
Education / Re: Study In India With Only Waec No Entrace Test For Admission! Get Admitted In On by KolaSteven(m): 4:46pm On Jul 11, 2017
Sir, how much would I budget for a course like Computer Science? and what's the duration? thanks
Nairaland / General / Advice For The Homecoming Nigerian Americans!!! by KolaSteven(m): 7:23pm On Nov 10, 2016
Good afternoon to everyone, especially
Nigerian Americans. They need it most.

Happy elections. Don't think I'm crazy for

greeting you happy elections, in Nigeria
we greet people about everything. You
have to get used to this now because you

are coming back home. So, Eku election.

I very much understand that you will
soon be sent packing from there, so I
have taken it upon myself to prepare you

for the transition. You have just a little
time left there, utilize that time to learn
more about Nigeria that you are coming
back to.


In Nigeria, we don't have light. Buy
power bank while coming. Don't say I
didn't tell you. Buy power Bank from
there because the ones here are just like
your marriages, they don't last. Buy a
quality one from the abroad when
coming.
Also, make sure you charge your
phone full before coming here. You
should also save money for generator.

Buy rechargeable lamps and plenty
torchlight too.

Also, save enough money for
subscription. There is no free WiFi here.
For those of you that will be settling in
Lokoja, Jidenna and Co, I'll advice you to

buy a glo line. Their network is strong.
Save enough money for emergency
transport. You will be deported to Nigeria

and by the time you get to the airport,
you will need to board a keke from the
airport to the badagry refugee centre,
from where your ancestors had been
shipped to America before. Fuel don
cost, transport don increase.


Do you eat moi moi? Learn it. In Nigeria
you cannot sit down and order pizza
anytime you want. The only order you
can make is when you yell to the moi moi
seller across the road to bring hot moi
moi for you.


Learn proper home training. In Nigeria
the only time the police will arrest your
parents for hitting you is after you are
dead already. And they will later settle
the case as "a family affair". If you think

you can come here to speak 'innit' for
your parents, it's the neighbours that will
help them beat you.

Are you a graduate? Doesn't matter.
There is no job. Your American accent
will not give you a job, except your father
knows someone who knows another
person that knows a politician, you won't
have a job.


Dear American Lover Boy, Nnewi girl will
not go Dutch with you. As a matter of
fact, no Naija girl will go Dutch with you.

You have to prove your masculinity by
paying for the date. No one is splitting
the bills with you when you take a girl on
a date.

Learn the Nigerian names of common
products. No one will sell "sausage rolls"

for you. If you can't call it the Nigerian
name- "Gala", no one would have time
for you. Noodles is "Indomie". Pasta is
"spaghetti". All seasoning is "maggi".
Dear American girl, you cannot dress
anyhow you like. Your neighbours will
eye you. The random old woman in the
market will hiss at you. The random
lady
in the bus will preach to you. The area
boys will jeer you. You might want to
report "harassment" to the police, they
will arrest you for indecent dressing.

Dear lovers, in Nigeria we don't show
public display of affection. You cannot be
kissing your boyfriend under the rain.

The old woman passing by will invoke
thunder to strike the both of you.

These are some of the basic tips to help
you adapt after you have been deported.

#More to come.
Politics / Re: PHOTOS: Nigerian Army Modifies Logo by KolaSteven(m): 11:42pm On Nov 05, 2016
ibabkr:
Why displaying ur ignorance freely to Nairalanders? That's not a portion from the Qur'an, it's actually an Arabic way of saying' Victory is from God alone'
Come to think of this: why is there a cross on red cross logo?
Why is there a cross on Nigerian navy's logo? Are they meant for Christians?


I thought there is Red Crescent
Education / Re: YABATECH Post Utme 2021/2022 Screening Thread by KolaSteven(m): 2:36pm On Nov 05, 2016
OK. Lemme help you guys out.

According to my uncle"s friend in the school, this is the school's point grade system.

Your UTME score is 60points. E.g. 200/400 * 60 = 30points.

Your O-level result is 30points,
A1-6points,
B2/B3-4points,
C4/C5/C6-1point.
5 relevant subjects. Maths, English and any 3 compulsory subjects.

1 sitting-10points
2 sittings-3points


The departmental cutoff points will be determined by the number of candidates the department can house.

For competitive courses like Computer Science and engineering courses, expect around 60points as the cutoff.

1 Like

Politics / Re: Dolapo Osinbajo, Kemi Adeosun, Abike Dabiri At Arise Women Conference 2016 by KolaSteven(m): 5:22pm On Nov 02, 2016
Politics / Re: Aisha Wins In The 'other Room' As Buharí Reshuffles Cabinet! by KolaSteven(m): 7:46pm On Oct 26, 2016
NgcoboP:

shut up. ... GEJ was called worse names... expect more....
DamiBukola:

Just shut up, all of you insulted Jonathan from left to right and front to back. What goes around must surely come around


And what are you?
Jonathan's avengers

1 Like

Phone/Internet Market / Re: List Of New And Used Phones And Their Prices. Buy Now by KolaSteven(m): 7:34pm On Oct 26, 2016
You dont have Xiaómi Redmi Note 3, do you?

1 Like

Politics / Re: Aisha Wins In The 'other Room' As Buharí Reshuffles Cabinet! by KolaSteven(m): 7:27pm On Oct 26, 2016
[/color][color=#990000]
MicroBox:

Please what is your highest qualification?
You lack home training on a more serious note.
Ofcourse you have freedom of speech but I can't personally imagine someone calling a man as old as Buhari a dullard.
No matter what, we are Africans.
Fuc.k Politics..
MicroBox:

Please what is your highest qualification?
You lack home training on a more serious note.
Ofcourse you have freedom of speech but I can't personally imagine someone calling a man as old as Buhari a dullard.
No matter what, we are Africans.
Fuc.k Politics..
MicroBox:

Please what is your highest qualification?
You lack home training on a more serious note.
Ofcourse you have freedom of speech but I can't personally imagine someone calling a man as old as Buhari a dullard.
No matter what, we are Africans.
Fuc.k Politics..


God bless, brotha
Imbéciles' tongues only wag on the internet

1 Like

Politics / Re: Aisha Wins In The 'other Room' As Buharí Reshuffles Cabinet! by KolaSteven(m): 4:07pm On Oct 26, 2016
drss2:
exactly. d dullard should reshuffle himself by resigning period. he's not qualified to be president in dis modern era.

Wailers

4 Likes

Politics / Re: Aisha Wins In The 'other Room' As Buharí Reshuffles Cabinet! by KolaSteven(m): 3:58pm On Oct 26, 2016
dukie25:
The Dullard should remove himself first then we can talk of his ministers.

I swear, some people just dull......
naturally.....

2 Likes 1 Share

Foreign Affairs / Re: Russia Unveils 'Satan 2' Missile Image by KolaSteven(m): 3:26pm On Oct 26, 2016
bettercreature:
It wont take AMERICA OR UK 6 months to build a missile 50x more powerful than this shiiit if the need arises beside Non of this shiiit can reach Uk or USA before they are shot down
Putin always use this shiits to score political points


Look at his mouth!!

3 Likes

Politics / Re: Aisha Wins In The 'other Room' As Buharí Reshuffles Cabinet! by KolaSteven(m): 3:11pm On Oct 26, 2016
Oga Lalásticlala
Politics / Aisha Wins In The 'other Room' As Buharí Reshuffles Cabinet! by KolaSteven(m): 3:09pm On Oct 26, 2016
President Muhammadu Buhari has
begun to fish for replacements for
under-performing and ‘unknown’
ministers in his cabinet, Sahara
Reporters writes.



It reports that the move follows outcry
that has trailed the performances of his
ministers in the last one year.
President Buhari and his ministers.
Quoting unnamed sources, Sahara
Reporters reports that President Buhari’s
decision is based on not just public
uproar but also the first lady Aisha’s
fierce condemnation and the complaints
of members of the ruling All Progressives
Congress


This development comes just days after
the controversy that trailed an interview
granted
by Aisha to the BBC Hausa Service in
which she claimed that unknown people
have taken over her husband’s cabinet.



While the President did reply his wife in
the most unusual manner, it however
gave him some concern over where his
government is headed and he has now
decided to weed out ‘useless’ elements
from his kitchen cabinet.
While there are yet to be names
mentioned for those to leave the cabinet,
expected to be high on the least are
ministers who have been embroiled in
scandals and those who are consistently
under-performing.
Health / Re: Five Things That Make Women’s Breasts Sag Quickly by KolaSteven(m): 5:14pm On Oct 23, 2016
.
Phones / Re: Name Your Most Favorite Tecno Device Of All Time by KolaSteven(m): 4:49pm On Oct 23, 2016
Guys, I have 60k on me to get a Phone.
Please help me out on the kind of Phone to buy(not neccessary to be a teCno Phone)
Thanks.
Education / For All Yabatech Aspirants!!! by KolaSteven(m): 3:04pm On Oct 20, 2016
PLEASE BE INFORMED THAT YOUR
PRESENCE WILL NOT BE REQUIRED FOR
THE 2016/2017 POST UTME SCREENING
EXERCISE.

ENSURE THAT DETAILS OF YOUR
UPLOADED RESULTS ARE CORRECT.

YOU WILL BE INFORMED THROUGH SMS
ON THE PROCEDURE FOR PRINTING OUT
YOUR RESULT.


NB: PLEASE BE REMINDED THAT THE
POST-UTME SCREENING APPLICATION/
CORRECTION OF O-LEVEL RESULTS ENDS
ON OCTOBER 22ND, 2016.
THANK YOU.

1 Like

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