₦airaland Forum

Chikelue2000:
Where r d haters, MMM for life

Still having hope based on what someone sat in his living room to write. Wake up men. Its not coming back. 14th is almost here. I will come bk and say i told u so.

Culin:
Enemies!!

Lol. U would do the same to my club, wont u?

MrMacinterchi1:
I just read ur signature and I think I got some infor there. Those are nice words, truly. Maybe I might have to support those that have ur mindset against ur beloved club... I mean, that the fun of the game. is it not?

Exactly. To each his own. That's the beauty of the game like u rightly said.

MrMacinterchi1:
Praying for someone's failure . Smh

Please is your enemy someone or a thing. Pray for your enemies that want to harm you to succeed then.

brightgreat:
time please

Its wednesday 9pm

curvyibogirl:
I've always been active on nairaland as a ghost but before the wake of the new year, i have decided as part of my new year resolution to "de-ghost" myself and become an active member hence, my registration last week. One of the reasons i made this decision was because i have learned and gained so much from this platform, and so it is expected to also give back to the community that has had an impact in my life, for who much is given, much more is expected. A lot of nairaland monickers which i will name someday have been a real source of inspiration and i always look forward to their posts. Without further Ado and in order not to digress from the topic, let me begin my story......

My first love was my mother and my second love was my smart phone. Mum bought me my mobile phone (first phone i ever used) during my birthday, last three years. I practically went everywhere with my smart phone. I slept with it lying on my chest most nights, i went for dates with it and i even usually go to the toilet with it. Infact, there was a time it had mistakenly dropped inside our water closet while i was holding it and "doing business". That was the day i thought it would die, but luckily for me, after i picked it out of the closet, removed the battery immediately, sun-ed it and hid it under the bag of rice in our store, i fixed back the battery and pushed the power button and Viola! It worked!
It had been a very loyal and faithful lover, up till last 2 weeks when it decided to jilt me. I felt so depressed and heart broken but when my mum asked me to go to the market to check for the price of a moderate phone she could afford, I was so happy. I quickly wore my "skin tight" trouser and a blouse to match, did light makeup, carried my handbag and left for the phone market, ecstatic.
When i got to the market, i was very disappointed. They said the price of dollar had increased and hence price of phones had also increased. All the phones i had in mind were all above my 100k mark and i was expecting mum to give me 70k while i added the last 30k i had to my name. I was about leaving one of the phone shop outlets i had been haggling prices, to head back home and think of a way to get additional money, when he met me.

"Good afternoon missus" He said with a lovely smile.
I looked back and our eyes met. He was dark skinned, averagely tall and had a slightly concealed yoruba mark on his left cheek. Even with his polished English, you wouldn't need an "expo" to tell he was yoruba. I have a couple of yoruba friends but there was just something different about him that made him seem distinct from my male yoruba friends. I still haven't been able to place that "something". Ordinarilly, i usually snob stranger's that try to talk to me on the road. This is lagos, computer village at that. No one trusts anyone, especially during this festive period when horrid tales abound.

"Good afternoon sir" i replied politely, returning his smile.
I quickly sized him up. He should be wearing close to 400k on him. His shoes and suit were Italian. His wrist watch, although slightly concealed, was an expensive piece of rolex and he wore a perfume that smelled expensive. He was dangling his car key with his left small finger.

"I was just stepping out, and i was wondering if you might be going my direction. I could drop you off with ease" he began, still smilling.

He didn't look like a rapist i thought, but then, people don't go about with "rapist" written on their forehead. I could save myself some cash from transportation, especially now that i needed cash to make up money for my phone. I needed any kobo i could save. I am dead without a phone, i could be dead if i followed this stranger, "all die na die" i concluded, silly.

" I'm going to Okota..." i finally said

" Very good " he said, cutting me short.

"I'm going towards mile 2. I could drop you off at Cele-express" he continued.

" I wouldn't want to stress you sir, besides, I'm a bit of a bore" i said, trying to form "not interested".

"Don't worry, that's the reason we have mp3's in a car" he insisted.

"Ok.." i said, giving up quickly.

"Lest i forget, your the most curvlicious beautiful girl I've seen in this market" he said, smilling again, looking at me and trying to weigh the effect of what he just said to me.

"Thanks" i replied with a straight face.

He said he was the owner of one of the biggest phone shops in ikeja, the popular computer village. Although I would like to keep the name of his outlet anonymous because it has no relevance to this story, i can say the name starts with an "S" and i will call this man Mr K.

Mr K led me where he parked his car, in front of the phone outlet. I suspected he would be someone important to the outlet otherwise, they wouldn't have allowed him park right in front of the shop. He paid no regard to the security man that was saluting him many times, trying to catch his attention. His car was a range rover sport. The interior was soft white leather and very neat. It smelled of Vanilla too.

"What did you come to do here?" Mr K asked as he waited for the car engine to run properly after having started it.
I told him about my phone and how i was dissapointed to find out that the prices of phones had increased above my budget. I tried not to sound desperate so he wouldn't think i was expecting something.

" I will give you an I-phone 7" he blurted out like it was nothing, his hands, on the steering as he drove.

Well, i wasn't the kind of girl that believed a girl deserved an expensive gift simply because she was curvy, fair or beautiful. I believed in hardwork. A girl has to earn whatever she gets from anyone, even family, let alone a stranger. Before my mum bought me my first ever phone, which was a techno F7 (May it's soul rest in piece), i had to sit my ass off a chair, helping her mark all her students answer scripts. She taught English in a community secondary school close to our house. My mum always told i and my elder sister that when a girl has beauty without brains, her private part suffers the most, so she always encouraged us to deserve any gift we were given by hardwork.

"What will i have to do for you to deserve such an expensive gift?" I asked, half expecting him to say I'll have to visit him at home.

"Nothing!" he said, taking his eyes off the road and looking at my laps as tho he could see them fresh, through the skin tight trouser i wore. I let him feed his eyes for a while then i politely placed my handbag on my legs.

"Hmmmm...." i blurted out.

" I am a major distributor of Porsche phones, I-phones, Samsung's, HTC's, name them... and sometimes, these companies give us free samples of their phones to put on display for intending customers. I could give you any of those units and surely, it won't affect my business" Mr K said proudly.

"Don't you have closer relatives that would deserve such a gift, better than a total stranger?" i asked.

I could sense he picked offence from my question, but he pretended to be a gentleman.
"How do you mean?" He asked back rhetorically with a half frown.

"It's not every good Samaritan that helps a stranger, expects something back in return" he said putting up a fake smile.

"Well sir, i would really really love to own an i-phone 7, but i would also want to deserve it" i said truthfully.

"Ok..." he said

" I have an idea...." he continued.

"Jesu!" He screamed in a timid yoruba accent. My heart skipped a beat. A child whoose mother was on the other side of the pedestrian had abruptly crossed the road. He hit on the break pedal and swerved the steering to the left, dodging the crossing child by some inches. It was a close shove.

"Alakoba wo le-leyi? Eh?" he asked me, not minding if i understood the language.
I was stupefied to even respond. He managed to control the car back to the main road without stopping and we continued our journey. I looked behind me and i was glad the little child was safe. She was in the embrace of her mother crying, while her mother was showing us her five fingers, probably cursing.
Mr K looked through the side mirror.

"Don't worry, the child is safe" he said trying to get back his composure.
We drove silently for about five minutes then he started again

"I will give you an I-phone 7 and all you'll need to do is put up adverts for my shop through all your social media accounts. I'm sure you have a lot of followers. Pretty ladies always do" he said.

"Just that?" i asked, not believing him

"Yes. Just that. We won't need to sign an MOU" he said smilling.

This man that has been smilling like a Jackal and wants to give me an I-phone 7 for absolutely nothing must definately have something else up his sleeves. An agreement is an agreement. If he comes up with some other funny attitudes, i will simply just refuse, Afterall, we agreed before he gave me the phone. All i need do is keep to my end of our agreement.

"Ok, so far i have a feeling i worked for it" i said

I didn't come to Ikeja today dreaming of even a low budget I-phone brand talkless of an I-phone 7, but here i am, faced with the possibly of getting an I-phone 7. Isn't that a miracle? I tried hard to hide my excitement.

" How do i contact you?" he asked. I just looked through the window and realized we were already close to Cele bustop. I would soon be alighting.

"Ehm... I.... I.... don't know. I can't give you my mum's number" i stammered.

"Ok... Tommorow morning, Just come by the shop were we met today and ask of Mr K" he said as he parked under the cele bridge for me to alight. I opened the car door stylishly and came down.

"I'll be expecting you tommorow morning" he said.

"Alright sir, i will be there" i replied.
Ofcourse i would there. Who wouldn't want an I-phone 7? Certainly not me.
Throughout that evening, i kept thinking of an I-phone 7. What if he just wanted to play me? What if he never intends to give me any phone? Well, i won't find out if i don't go.
That night, i had a very bad dream. I was watching a video clip on an I-phone 7. On the clip, i saw myself naked and lying on the bed with a masked man humping me. I must have been sedated because i was not moving my body while the man was at it. I woke up in the dead of the night deciding not to go and see Mr K. When day light came, i changed my mind again. How could i miss this opportunity of getting the most expensive phone in town because of a mere dream? Never! I got up, showered, wore a pink short gown with brown gladiator sandals and made up to kill. I knew how to prepare for a mission like this. When he sees me like this, he won't hesitate to give me the phone. With the confidence of a peacock, i left home for Ikeja.

Instead of taking the normal danfo bus, i took a taxi that charged me high because the driver switched on the vehicles A.C at my request. This was so as not to looked ruffled before i got to Mr. K's office. I wanted to look my best. This man could be a married man, i hadn't even thought of that before. It was too late to dwell on that now, besides i hadn't noticed any ring on him and i wasn't "interested".

" Good afternoon" i greeted the lady i saw on a Samsung stand when i got to "S"

"Please I'm here to see Mr. K" I requested politely.

The lady pointed to an office Accross a narrow passage that had a transparent glass door. I walked to the door and knocked lightly. I could see Mr K through the transparent door. His office was quite small, or so i thought. Maybe it was because there were so many papers that looked liked invoices littered over the big table or the plenty cartons that was piled up on all corners of the office. He waved for me to come in and i pushed the door and let myself in.

"Good morning sir". I greeted him

"Ah... My pretty. I thought you'll stand me up" he said. He beamed a smile at me and i smilled back.

" You look smashing" he said as his eyes scanned my whole body. Who smashing epp? Abeg gimme phone make i commot. I said in my mind.

"Thank you sir" I said smilling.

He stood up and pulled up the chair opposite him

"Pls sit" he said, pointing to the chair.

There was an apple laptop open on his table with a black I-phone 7 lying on his table. Is this the I-phone 7 that he plans to give me? I thought in my head.
"What can i offer you?" he asked

"Nothing" i said quickly, remembering the dream i had the previous night. If that dream were real, then i was definately sedated. I would avoid eating or drinking anything here.

"No.... No.... I have to get you something. You can't just come to my office and refuse to take anything".
He stood up before i could say anything else and made for the door. I had decided as i waited for him to come back that i wasn't going to eat whatever he brought back. I would insist.

I looked at his table and picked up one of the littered papers on the table. It was an invoice for the sale of a Samsung galaxy s7 edge. My eyes caught the I-phone 7 on the table again. I looked back at the door, there was no one in sight so i picked up the phone and pressed the home button. It was unlocked. A WhatsApp message popped in from "virgin hunters". It was obvious that this was his personal phone and not the one he intended to give me. I wanted to drop the phone then another message came in from "virgin hunters" again. I looked, it was 4 unread messages from the same WhatsApp contact. It was a group Chat.
The name sounded weird. What kind of people would name a chat group "Virgin hunters"? I thought.
Curiously, i clicked on the group chat. What i saw shocked me beyond measures........ TBC.

What's your IG name? Curvyibogirl

Sexxkillz:
[color=#000030]Over good. . .

Idiot chelsea can't stop winning though. [/color]

Lol. Me sef tire ooo. Lets pray and fast that tottenham do the needful today

AntiWailer:
Dnt mind them


That is why it is a waste of time to argue with some people.

How do you argue the use of hands with somebody that can not differentiate his right from is left.

I tire o my brother

OLADD:
FFK was right on this. Hilary's loss was more or less a partly divine punishment for the negative roles she and Obama played in Nigeria's 2015 elections. I have a feeling that Trump's government would reveal many things concerning Boko haram and Chibok conspiracies.

U must be deluded if u think so. If any one knows how to meddle in the affairs of other countries for the interest of theirs, its the republicans. Go and check their negative influence on other countries right from the iraq war led by George bush jr, down the republican presidents in history. U will see the same pattern. Even trump in an interview in 2002 said he would gladly support the invasion of iraq. Same person that has said Nigeria needs to be recolonized. Get ur facts right

ojinuocheibi:
Have you ever heard any name called president bush before? Bush lead the war on iraq not Obama. Now I know why the call some people zombie here on nairaland. You are daft

Exactly

Daplux4:
Obama thinks he is God, he went to war in Iraq and Syria without any good reasons he killed innocent civilians and also send his campaign manager to opposition party in Nigeria then to strategize how to manipulate Nigerian election to Favour buhari now God in his infinite power returned it to him
law of karma
do unto people that u may wish them do to u

Really? Obama that advocated for the withdrawal of troops from the middle east? You've been fed the wrong info bro. You just accused him of what is in the tenets of a republican. Democrats dont operate that way. George bush started a war, Obama put an end to it. Sometimes if u dont get the right information, u will be misinformed.

xynerise:
See them dey make noise for Crystal Palace. If them see big team na them go hide faces.

Just like dem hide face against Chelsea. Except if Chelsea no be big team again. 3-0 comes to mind

eboiga:
Igberaga! The one you do for headies no reach! You go just run down

Go run am down. U know whether the girl get body odour? Person no fit sit down in peace. At least if u would take pictures. Ask for permission first

MrTruth4real:
I ll give it to ambode, but I think he's lucky because Lagos generates a very large revenue compare to other states.while I ll gv worst performing to okowa, but its not also his fault, ibori use delta state as collateral to take loan, and we are still paying the debt till tomorrow.

He is not lucky. It takes a working governor to keep revenues flowing in and the economy thriving. Under ambode, lagos became the 5th largest economy in Africa. Bigger than many countries

Weird name. "purity". Maybe mercy found redemption in d name after all the "atrocities" she commited as an up and coming actress

Enuguboy4nsk:
he's an afonja from ondo state...later the stewpeed Afonjas will be blaming ijaw people...amala and ewedu tribe alias ndi Yoruba

You should be ashamed of yourself. While the so-called afonjas condemn these actions when jt is their own that perpetrates the act. The Biafra yoots would have praised them and blamed the FG for arresting them. Dont u know this shows a big tell on the intelligence of the afonjas over the Biafra yoots

patchsk:
Buhari is plain stupid

Omg. For wah na? He ruined christmas for u?

truthsayer007:
Yea right ! There is music to dance to & one that passes message. Choose the one you wish to hear. No one is forcing you.

How many Nigerian songs pass msgs.?

pretydiva:
Because 80% of dem r dumb, n has got nuffin 2 offer aside portraying women as sex object. He jst showed d whole world his dumbness in dis video

Lol. Very true. But its not like they are dumb. They do it for majority of Nigerians who love celebrating mediocrity. If they dont, they would not blow.

FlawlesRebirth02:
WHAT WAS HIS REPLY?

ABEG I CANNOR COMMAN GO AND BE WATCH THAT VIDEO....

Abi o. I tire for Op. In this recession?

nzeobi:
Let's now see if government, is ready for genuine dialogue or this is going to be another mouth action.

The militants quoted above talk like political contractors. Why business do they've with the SGF.

My thoughts too, as soon as i saw the long epistle dedicated to lawal. Which even overshadows the dialogue talk. I smell something fishy here

hammerT:
WAT GOES AROUND, COMES BACK AROUND AND HIT U HARDER, IT IS THE LAW OF THE UNIVERSE.


WEN U DEY MARRY IGBO WOMEN, E DEY SWEET U, WHO U LEAVE THE YORUBA WOMEN 4? TO BE ALONE? WAIT 4 U TO FINISH?

U didn't have to pull the ethnicity card. Twasnt necessary. Besides, they are dating, not married.

So sad. But what are school certificates doing in the shop? And 2, as Nigeria's power supply is unreliable, when leaving the house, put off all electrical appliances.

Elite circle bridging the gap between the rich and poor since 1400BC

CplusJason:
Look here you autistic grumpy wildfowl, if your witless step-father failed in his responsibilities to drive home some manners into your weak brain, i will gladly dish you some comeuppance which will instantenously install some sense into your large head.

U just succeeded in making a fool out of yourself with that gibberish and arrant nonsense u just uttered which u don't know half the meaning. Boy get some education. The twitter handler would still be more than glad to pay ur school fees

BiniShrine:
You ain't far from the truth you know... I can really relate to that situation back then.. Math Method, Medical Stat, Econometric, Applied Stat.. How I take cope and finish well is still one of the wonders of the world sha...

Did u see a calculator?

LOC1:
Lol.........the person behind their twitter account deserves a path on the back.

Pat not path

CplusJason:
One stupid boy is behind that EFCC handle.

Asking dumb questions.

Stupid boy that can send you to school and pay your school fees

lonelydora:
EFCC's twitter handler should be in comedy industry. I love the guy's reply most times.

Ah swear

winningwinner:
So corruption is bigger than treason? I'm still listening.

What he means is, corruption is a universal /indirect crime in that it affects the masses. And hence the masses will see a corrupt person as more guilty than a person who committed treason that killed just a few ppl in power in other to get to power. Treason doesn't look like a guilty offence as much as corruption does. Especially in the eyes of the masses

kcnwaigbo:
Of course there is a proof. The absence of his Waec certificate is proof he doesn't have one.Buhari is as guilty as ibori and you yourself a pathetic hypocrite.WTF!!!what do you mean by alleged? Has Buhari presented his Waec certificate?

You know what? If u are so damn sure, why don't you take the initiative and sue him. U will see that you have no case. By the way the secondary school he went to and military have debunked that rumour and he is not as shallow as u are to stoop so low and bringing out certificate just to make the likes of u bedwet. I don't understand how difficult it is for u to know the meaning of alleged. How come nobody is saying anything about it. Because there is no case. It was all a blatant lie from the PDP to fool gullible Nigerians like you

ajepako:
Seriously......this is one issue l am going to agree with our resident zombies

Someone just returned from prison on corruption conviction and we are already planning his political comeback?

No wonder Nigeria is fast becoming a joke among comity of nations..

I can dash u a kiss for such a beautiful comment