₦airaland Forum

Its obvious the Op is one jealous muthafucker.....who tell ur papa make him be poor man no send you go abroad?The guys that trained abroad are trained more about medical care in the temperate areas while Nigerians are grounded in tropical medicine. So they tend to struggle to get the grasps of tropical medicine when they come back

King of the north......hope they have discovered oil in the north.But our leaders are either very dumb or wicked...... Why invest such a large amt in discovering oil when the world is going green.why not use that money and invest in better viable ventures?

There they go again ........always painting men as beasts, meanwhile women are growing wilder and wilder

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If I support this man opinion, I know all the feminists and pussy niggas will jump on my case. However,the man is right to some extent. It doesn't apply to all women but some women need iron hand so that they can behave.

One word for you......psycho!

miremoses:
With abrahimovic and pogba back. Do you think starting lukaku and abra will be a good decision? Share your opinions.

starting ibrahimovic would be a wrong decision because man utd has young fast players which zlatan would slow down.zlatan can be brought in 2nd half when man utd are chasing a game and need a goal.

Buhari u dey fear say ur age mate has been kicked out,don't worry we will vote you out soon

The ranking organization did the Nigerian police a favour by even ranking them.We dont have a police force in Nigeria. We secure ourselves by setting up vigilantes and raising our house fences.

But you osibanjo relied on certificate!

Kondomatic:
I really don't get why Nigeria girls cook for their boyfriends when they visit? I mean, it is his house and you're his guest so he should be the one cooking and serving, after all there's no guarantee that you have a future with him.

see bad advise! So its only sex that you will offer ur bf but you can't cook because if you cook you go die shebi? So how do you want a guy to even appreciate other qualities of a good gf which could become a future wife?

Drama queen! A lesson for single men and also women go for good character not charm and beauty

I don't know why internet data is cheap cos dumb cheap people keep posting nonsense.A lot of people especially young ladies even the ones that are underachieved now have a false sense of grandeur due to attention from social media

Nice piece but women need men more than the reverse.check all the so called independent women today,they are under the security of a man whether as a father or a boyfriend.No man is forcing you to settle down, enjoy your life and fvck as many guys as ur heart desires but over the years don't regret your decision

You provoked me into writing this sketchy parody. So, thanks. No disrespect to the male folk.

1.

In a filthy hole somewhere sometime.

Manwan: (pinches his nose) Mantu, you stink!

Mantu: Oh, I haven't been by the river in weeks, so I haven't bathed. And you, you're skinnier than the last time I saw you.

Manwan: Yes, I caught some fish but when I put them over the fire, something must have happened because I couldn't get them past my throat.

Mantu: Life is hard!

Manwan: You can say that again.

Mantu: Life is hard!!

Manwan: No, I heard you the first time. I meant: I agree with you.

Mantu: Okay. (Pensive) But, you know, the other half of mankind is not suffering like this o.

Manwan: Really? How do you mean?

Mantu: I have been seeing womanwan and co, they smell like roses all the time, their houses are clean and their pots ooze with delicious fragrances.

Manwan: But that's unfair!

Mantu: You can say that again.

Manwan: See?

Mantu: Yes. I learn quickly. It is really unfair. What do we do about it?

Manwan: They have to help us o!

Mantu: But how do we get them to do that? We are stronger, can we just capture them and put them in cages, and release them only to work for us?

Manwan: No. That won't work. They would not be happy to work for us that way. They could even poison us!

Mantu: You are right. (Pensive)

Manwan: We have to make it seem like it is their idea to work for us.

Mantu: Okay.

Manwan: Or.......we make them believe they have no choice.

Mantu: But isn't that like putting them in cages?

Manwan: No. (Beams brilliantly) we give them a set of instructions but we won't say that the instructions are coming from us.

Mantu: then whom will we say that they come from?

Manwan: God.

Mantu: God? Who is that?

Manwan: No one. But are they to know that? We will say that he is an invisible being larger than life, who has the power to punish them if they fail to follow his instructions. That his reach is beyond death. That he rewards good people and burns bad people in a big fire for ever.

Mantu: (shivers) that is genius! But how do we explain that God only punishes them and not us?

Manwan: We won't. Because he will punish us too.

Mantu: (looks aghast)

Manwan: Relax! We will make our rules different from theirs. We will say that we are the first and dearer creations of God, created to serve him while they are meant to serve us.

Mantu: Manwan, you are brilliant.


2.

A garden of roses, someplace close by somewhere sometime.

Manwan: God has revealed his face to me. And he says that you have shamed him with your despicable acts.

Womanwan: What despicable acts? We do not disturb anyone. We plant on our fields and hunt in our forests. We never cross the Great Divide, into your country only at the night of the harvest moon that marks our bi-annual mating ritual.

Manwan: Yes. It is not acceptable for you to plant or hunt anymore.

Womantu: Ha! How do we survive?

Manwan: each one of you will be joined to one of us. We will plant and hunt and you will keep us tidy, and feed us with your food.

Womanwan: but what do we gain from this union? We already do our own planting and hunting.

Manwan: Yes. And God is enraged by your impudence. You will burn in flames forever even after you die. Is that what you want?

Womanwan: No. Of course not.


3.

In a filthy hole somewhere sometime

Mantu: that was easy.

Manwan: Yes, it was. See how fresh we look now!

Mantu: I noticed that there are more of them than of us. What happens if the unpaired ones begin to live well independently? Will that not make more of them want to remain that way?

Manwan: We will tell them that an unpaired breed is a shameful being. We can, in our benevolence, then offer to join ourselves with two, three, four... Of them.

Mantu: (excited) more of them to cook and clean and treat me like a king? Manwan, you have a delicious brain!

Manwan: I know. Have you also noticed how ugly they become in old age? Those succulent fruit in their chest begin to droop and loose their shape. Their skins begin to dry out and curl up. We must let them know how unattractive we find them in their old age so that they are desperate to be joined in their youth.

Mantu: But we also wrinkle and become droopy.

Manwan: Yes, but is God complaining? He doesn't care that we are old and ugly when we pass the gates of heaven. Remember we are made for God and they are made for us. They must please us! They cannot be allowed to have protruding bellies, or extra flab. We will tell them that we are moved by our eyes. If we do not consider them pleasing to look at, they would not be considered worthy of being joined to us.[/quote]

The humans for naija don chop first talk less of creating artificial humans

Woman this ,woman that....you guys should leave woman issue and get a life!!your lives don't revolve around women for Christ sake

Sincerely,I think Nnamdi KANU has been killed and secretly buried because an outspoken man like Nnamdi can't be quiet for this long.The Nigerian army surrounded his home and shot him.

Oloshos everywhere you go......

I just hope Unilag babes will not disturb this statue.There should be a 24hr security to protect this statue from Unilag babes.

LionDeLeo:
The crocodile will smile and go back home, nothing will happen to law abiding citizens, is just a routine exercise.

But somewhere, the dancing of a python was interrupted by pigs and that is when the python got a bit angry and threw them into their natural habitat, mud.

hahahahahahaha

@op.....that's the world for u.Always rooting for a mans downfall.just continue with ur hustle and leave the poor fella to rant

Igbos are not interested in becoming President of such a country except maybe the half Fulani half IBO....Okorocha.

Only God can judge but this is politics which is dirty so anything goes

She has sold her soul and conscience to the cousin of the devil(buhari)

@Op-Can u die for Nigeria? If u can't which I know u can't,then ur patriotism is fake just like 99% of nigerians

They for just leave this man for London, at least there could have been peace in Nigeria but immediately the man come back,wahala start.

Get the lawmakers to amend the constitution and grant Biafra a referendum.... Sorry to say this but Buhari and his advisers are fvcking too dumb to rule this country

We don hear.Abeg when una go prosecute Tinubu?

FriendNG:
Even if na tribalism na u start it. You all vote for Jonathan because he was from your region and publicly on stage at a rally with microphone call northerners born throw way giv mama, and still expect vote.

You know ur problem Mr man.....u guys are too dumb to appreciate good advice.Patience Jonathan adviced people not to be having children that they can't take care of and u guys saw it as an insult.

Even if Donald Duke is the most competent person.......the Hausas and fulanis will never vote for him.Nigeria's tribalism no get part 2.They rather vote Shekau than Donald Duke

What an animal kingdom!

Mourinho just said that man utd will win their next 20 epl games......no draws,no loss